W h a t e v e r. Th e. Co s t

The collar chafed his neck, his hands tied and his body was worn, he was too tired to move but they made him, they were dragging him along by the chain attached to the collar that cut painfully into his flesh, but that was nothing to what he had experienced since he had been handed over to the Shredder.

"This terrapin creature is of no more use to me alive, I have taken all the samples that I need. Do with his what you wish, but remember, when he is dead, he is returned to me."

"Of course, I will try not to damage him to much"

"Not a bad deal." He muttered to himself, riffling the money in his hands, "Not bad at all"

That had been the beginning of his punishment at the Shredder's hands. Bishop had been bad but Mikey had learned to live with it. Shredder wanted information about his family and was prepared to make Mikey suffer for it. Day after day, Saki would ask him if he would relent, day after day Michelangelo would refuse and day after day the punishments would get worse. He had tried to be strong when he first got there, not crying out, or showing fear. But he was too exhausted to try any longer.

As they pushed him into the dull, empty room he noticed the table. No. Not again. His eyes widened and he resisted his captors as best he could. The struggle ended in a final push and he fell to his knees. It was futile and Mikey knew it.

At least his family was safe, this was not in vain, but still…he wanted so much to be with them and he was scared that they would never meet again before he died. He was wrenched to the ground, his legs wouldn't move and he was dragged along the ground to the waiting table.

The white-coated man stood ready with the syringe. Mikey wrestled against the collar and found himself being beaten, harsh and brutal, before he was hauled onto the table and his limbs were fastened

"The pain can stop Michelangelo"

"Only if I give you information?"

"Would that be such a bad thing? I have much to offer you, why do you not join me?"

"I could never betray my family…"

"The same family that has yet to come for you? Listen to me, they have yet to come, they have abandoned you! "

"Fuck you!" He spat

Mikey didn't flinch as he was slapped, Saki's gauntlet, slicing his face open. His eyes burned with anger. "If you insist to continue your resistance..."

The needle pushed in his arm and it burned as the fluid was emptied from the syringe. It always happened so fast. There was the pain, the white hot pain. Then he would loose complete control. Mikey convulsed on the tabletop, his head slamming on its clean surface. Shredder left as his cries filled the room.

*0*

Leo sat on the couch, watching TV, or more, looking through the TV, his thoughts were elsewhere. He was thinking about his missing brother. He had never thought that Mikey would ever consider running away, he had thought that Raph was more prone to that kind of thing. Thinking back to the letter he felt his eyes burn and his vision blur.

Leo, big brother. Thanks. The number of times that you put us before yourself and got hurt to save us…the number of times you were there for me. Please relax a little, you don't need to be perfect, we know that you try your best. You've never failed us Leo, you've never failed me.

Never failed. Then why did he feel as if he had let his family down, let his little brother down? We still haven't found him and it's been weeks, months! I still train as much as I use to, I still worry, maybe even more. I've failed him. Again.

Sighing, Leonardo got up and began pacing. In his current state, he didn't notice the figure leaning against the doorframe, watching him intently, eyes narrowed.

"We'll find him Leo." He said suddenly

Leonardo started at the sound of the voice, "Raph."

Leonardo grit his teeth, "How can you believe that?" He whispered,
He's been missing for over four months. He's not coming back!"

Raphael snarled, "Not coming back?"

"Accept it Raph!"

"Bullshit!"

Raphael was caught off guard as Leonardo's eyes grew wet and he slumped back into the couch."

"Raph, were we such bad brothers that he really could stay anymore? What, what did we do wrong."

Raphael asked himself the same question every day.

After a moment of consideration, Raphael sat beside him brother. He put a hand over his shoulders rather awkwardly.

Leo took a deep shuddering gasp and stared at Raphael for a long moment, then he grabbed his brother into a fierce hug and buried his face in Raph's plastron.

Raphael's eyes widened, and he tensed. Leonardo was always the strong one, he never broke down, never showed his anger or pain, least of all to him.

Mikey, what the fuck were you thinking? Raph held Leo to his chest, rubbing his brother's shell. Raph never moved, he just let Leo cling to him, comforting him silently. Raphael closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. He could smell Leonardo, he smelt of incense and something else… something that reminded him of Donatello. Coffee. Raphael could still remember when his brother thought of the stuff as poison.

He's blaming himself again….

"Leo…"

" What?" Leonardo's eyes were red, but he scrubbed away the tears with the back of his hand.

" I need to take another look at that letter…" he muttered.

*0*

Saki circled Mikey, like an animal circling it's prey. Mikey was hanging from the chains around his wrists, the blood trickling down his arms.

Saki prodded him hard with a blade. He backed away and motioned for a ninja to step forward. A machine was brought closer and the cables were connected. Mikey shuddered and his eyes went wide with fear. No, anything but that…

He was go tired, God he just wanted to sleep…

But he couldn't.

Mikey twisted and yanked at the chains but he knew he had no way of escaping the coming punishment. Mikey groaned, low and primal, and prayed that this wouldn't last long. He braced himself.

He barely felt the prong touch him as the electricity coursed through his body. Pain. His mind registered pain and little else. And screaming. He was screaming. his eyes were shut tight and every muscle in his body convulsed. It felt like a lifetime had gone past before the sponge was withdrawn. His body relaxed of it's own accord and the muscles throbbed with pain and exertion.

"... I think we need to do that again." The ninja moved forward.

Mikey shook his head weakly, his body already drained from only a taste of the torture and he didn't think that he could take anymore. Shredder stopped the ninja just before the sponge touched.

"This can stop Michelangelo, just say the word, we can make a deal but I will get what I want, I always do."

"Fuck…you…" Mikey replied, looking up at Shredder.

Nodding, Saki left the room and left the orange clad ninja to his treatment.

*0*

Michelangelo

It was the beginning of hell. My own personal hell brought to me by one simple act. Giving myself up for the good of my family. If I could go back would I do it again? Yes, I would, I would do anything for my family, anything at all.

They haven't been caught yet, I know that for a fact. Shredder is still trying to get information from me, get him to join me. I wont though, I'd rather die before joining him, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm so tired, this cant go on. I have to escape, I wont go back to my family, what if the tracker is still in me? I will probably die trying to leave but I don't care and I wont give Shredder the satisfaction of breaking me, of seeing me beg, this is the only way. What is the point anymore? I have nothing left to live for anyway.

*0*

Guards were lying at my feet, along with foot ninja. They littered the floor, brutally murdered. No mercy had been shown, they had deserved it. After everything that they had put me through. The incredible pain, the feeling of helplessness as they hurt me, beat me, tazed me.

The door to my cell was open, the chains that had held me dangled on the wall. I felt cold, empty, detached. I felt no emotion and that was okay with me. Better not to feel at all, than to feel the pain and the guilt.

Slowly I looked down, my hands were covered in blood; there were marks of scarlet across my legs, plastron, and arms. I shuddered but felt no remorse for their deaths. They worked for the Shredder, they had helped hurt me. I didn't care.

I shoved their bodies' aside; I grabbed a pair of nunchucks and left the room.

I ran down the hallway, thinking about how I had been forced down here in the past. Taken to the Shredder, to be tortured, hurt. I felt tears well up at the thought of that, Shredder hadn't cared, hadn't showed any mercy. I had fought so hard, but I was weak and there were too many for me to fight, I had been helpless as they hurt me, stabbed me, injected me. I had been alone, completely alone.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the loud wailing sound. I heard the Alarms go off and saw the foot swarm the passage way. I was desperate and I lashed out, I had lost couldn't of who was dead and who was unconscious.

I wrapped my left nunchuck round the sword, whipping it out of the ninja's hands before thwacking him on the head with the other. As I roundhouse kicked an elite soldier across the room to see that more foot ninja spilled into the hallway.

"Where are you all coming from?" I asked angrily.

I twisted and punched, my muscles were screaming for rest but I carried on. I felt myself getting tired but I continued. I felt the tears streaming down me cheeks; I would never see my family again. Never feel their embrace, here them speak to me….but it was better this way.

With that thought I pressed on, smashing skulls and breaking bones with my newly acquired weapons. I was thrown off my feet as a hard impact struck me on the back of my head. I felt a burning pain as a katana slashed my right arm.

Another sharp pain came over me and I fell to my knees. Tears stung my eyes, a small, sharp knife had been stabbed in my flesh between his shell and plastron. Gritting my teeth, I stood up. I cried out, overcome by pain, but I continued my tirade against the enemy.

*0*

Leonardo stared out across the rooftops of New York. They were so close, so close to finding their baby brother. It had taken them a while, but they had finally managed to trace Mikey to this spot. Oroko Saki's base of operation. Out of the corner of his eye, Leo saw his two brother's land beside him on the rooftop. Silently he gave the signal to move out. Nodding, Donnie and Raph leaped down, with Leonardo not far behind. As they approached they were immediately attacked by a pair of foot guards. Fortunately, they were easily to defeat. There were no more soldiers or guards, the place was quiet, too quiet.

Something was wrong.

Raphael felt his gut clench in worry at the thought of Michelangelo. His baby brother meant a lot to him, more than he would ever say. Michelangelo was probably the only one who really understood him.

Raphael always felt the need to protect him more than his other brothers, he was so…innocent and carefree and Raph was scared that one day he would loose all that. Raphael felt helpless. He couldn't protect his youngest brother now and he had no idea what had happened in the months that had passed. He was scared because he almost didn't want to find out. Not that he would ever dream of abandoning Mikey, he just didn't want to see him get hurt.

Donatello ran fast, his feet barely touching the ground he was absolutely terrified about his younger brother. He had read the research reports about what Bishop had done to him. The inhumanity and cruelty, and Shredder was a whole lot worse. Don had with-held the information from his two older brother's, he knew that they wouldn't be able to handle it, but that didn't make it any less real. The thought of that propelled him onwards. He had to save Michelangelo.

They entered the building undetected and ran through the many hallways. They turned a corner and were shocked speechless by the sight that met them.

The floor was littered with the bodies of Foot ninjas' and guards. They had been brutally murdered, their blood flowed freely, eyes unseeing. They lay on top of each other. Some of the foot's masks had come off reveling their caved in heads, merciless killing, beaten to death or simply hit once. No one had been spared. No survivors.

Leonardo felt the bile rise in his throat. Who could have done that. This was- the devastation, the stench of death- it was horrific. With a trembling hand he drew his weapons, his brothers did the same.

Just then the wailing sounds of an alarm went off, shrieking and blaring. All three ninjas readied themselves for the expected attack but it never came. In the distance the sound of a battle could be heard. After exchanging glances they set of at break-neck speed to the source of the noise.

*0*

"Hold him down!"

"No!" Mikey fought as hard as he could against his captors. He just wanted it to end. He couldn't go back. No matter what happened, anything but that. He welcomed death but he was afraid that it wouldn't come. That Shredder would continue his torture and that was a burden that he could no longer bare.

Saki looked down at him disdainfully and with loathing, it seemed that there was no chance to obtain what he wanted from this terrapin and he knew that it was time to end his life. He stared down coldly at the 'broken' ninja and stated in a calm and non-caring voice.

"Take him back to his cell. Sever his head." Turning he added, "Give the body to Agent Bishop, I want this animal out of my site!"

Mikey stopped struggling and allowed himself to be half carried, half dragged away. It was finally over, his torment was finally over.

He was thrown to the floor and pulled roughly to his knees, his head was pushed forward and he thought of his family. No goodbyes, no final words. He was finished and he would never see them again. Yet, he didn't plead for survival, what was the point? Michelangelo wanted this meaningless existence to end. He was finished. His life wasn't worth living anymore. He sensed the guard raise the katana and bring it down. But instead of the expected killing blow, Mikey felt nothing. Suddenly he heard another sound, a war cry , a scream of anguish and hatred that pulled at his heart. It was a sound that he hadn't heard in a long time, too long. The sound of his brother's voice.

Nothing but the shock of hearing that voice could have given him the strength to raise his head.

When he did he saw Raphael lunge his sai into the ninja and his katana dropped from his dead hand. His other brothers were there as well, attacking and killing foot ninja and guards. They had come for him, and they had saved his life. There when he needed them most. Gentle hands wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him backwards, wrapping him in a fierce embrace. Raphael rocked his baby brother gently, tears coursing down his cheeks as he held him tightly.

He had been so afraid, more afraid than he would ever admit. He had been terrified of loosing his baby brother, that he would never see him again.

"I'm sorry Mikey, God, I'm so, so sorry…"

Turning, Michelangelo buried his head in his brother's plastron and sobbed. Letting out all the pain, the pain of being on his own, the worry about his family, the loneliness, the fear. He let it all out right there. A moment later he felt the protective arms of his other older brother's wrap around him. Through his tears, Mikey smiled inwardly. He was leaving this place. He was going home. His family had come for him. Mikey allowed the darkness to encompass him as his brother lifted him and he was carried away.

~FIN

So, what did you think? My first completed chaptered fic ever. Ha-ha. The sequel is up. It's called: Tainted Innocence.