Only If You Want To, Only If You'll Let Me.

Okay, as you might have guessed, this is a female-Allen X Lavi one shot. I was overcome by the desire to write this, mostly because of this pairing. I don't really like it much, myself, but I had to get it out of my head. Also, I had help from my best friend; xXAngelicScarsXx is her pen name for Fan Fiction. This is dedicated to her and Dgm-yaoi-lover, because there aren't many female-Allen X Lavi fics out there. So, here is one. I hope you enjoy it.

Allen was lacing up her boot with swift fingers when she received the knock on her door.

"Who is it?" she called, finishing the last lace, tying it, then standing up. The voice on the other side was muffled, but definitely Lavi's.

"Komui summoned us to his office." he said, sounding just as happy as normal. That let Allen know that there was nothing wrong, nothing overly important going on.

"Okay, Lavi, I'll be out in a minute." she said, buttoning up the last few buttons of her shirt. Her hair was still slightly wet, but that was okay. It would dry quickly soon anyway.

Even though everyone at the Dark Order knew her true gender now, Allen didn't bother asking to be called by a more feminine name, nor did she changed her wardrobe. Her reasons?

"I have always been called Allen Walker, that shouldn't change. Besides, it would be like you calling me someone else's name. There's no guarantee that I would respond," she would say with a smile.

And:

"I don't want to spend any money on clothes that I don't really need. And, what's the point in not wearing clothes that are perfectly fine?"

No one could really argue with those reasons. However, Allen had stopped wearing the uncomfortable, expensive and difficult to repair, corset that she had bought a few years back. It was a useful corset without a doubt, fully binding her breasts, but hurt exceptionally painfully all the time.

Allen opened her door to find Lavi leaning against the wall, thumb hooked around his hammer's holster. Allen nearly blushed, but managed to hold it in, settling for closing and locking her door behind her.

"Did Komui say why he wants us?" Allen asked, leading the way to said man's office. Lavi caught up with her, walking side-by-side with her, hands joined behind his head.

"No. Lenalee just told me when I was coming out of the cafeteria to get you and go to Komui's office." Lavi said; the shrug he gave obvious in his voice. And what a voice he had! Allen loved listening to Lavi's voice. You could almost hear his thoughts through his oh-so expressive voice. And that wasn't all Allen enjoyed about Lavi, but that will be saved for later.

Allen's expression grew thoughtful and curious as they drew closer to Komui's office. When they got there, Lavi opened the door for Allen, grinning happily at her, drawing a blush from her soft, white cheeks. Lavi closed the door behind them looking around the room for Komui. Said scientist was not at his desk, to the surprise of Allen and Lavi.

"Hey, Komui?!" Lavi called.

"Where is he?" Allen asked softly, walking through the mounds of papers to get to Komui's desk.

"Is he behind his desk?" Lavi asked, looking behind a few exceptionally large piles of papers and books.

"No, there's just an empty coffee mug and a magazine of some sort."

Lenalee and Komui watched Lavi and Allen step into Komui's office, trying to conceal their evil giggles. Lenalee crept behind them, her hand reaching for the locking mechanism that had been recently added to the door of the office, specifically for this purpose. Komui followed after her, crouching over as though he were trying to be sneaky, though it wasn't necessary. They heard Allen and Lavi's voices behind the door.

"...Is he behind his desk?" asked Lavi's voice.

"No, there's just an empty coffee mug and a magazine of some sort." Replied Allen's softer, feminine voice. Komui giggled creepily before slipping a key in a separate lock, and turning it quietly.

Two locks in place.

Operation Komui-Lenalee Match-Maker was now fully functioning.

Lenalee giggled as well, not as creepily, though.

Lavi and Allen missed the clinking sounds of the door being locked, so wrapped up were they in searching amongst the mounds of files for the slacking scientist that was their supervisor.

Allen yelped suddenly, surprising Lavi and making him jump.

"What? What is it??" he demanded. Allen gave him a slightly bashful look.

"A spider web attacked my face." she replied. Lavi laughed at her from across the room, turning back to his search.

"I don't think that he's here." Allen said a few minutes later, quite the obvious statement.

"I don't think so either." Lavi agreed, plopping down in Komui's chair.

"Why would he call us here if he wasn't here to receive us?" Allen wondered aloud. Lavi shrugged. They both knew that the eccentric scientist rarely did anything that anyone expected, except maybe sleep, not do his work, and do horrible experiments to terrorize the other members of the order. Wait a minute. Isn't that all he ever does?

"Well, we can just sit here and wait for him...?" Lavi suggested, propping his feet up on the desk.

"I suppose," was all that Allen said as she sat on the couch on the other side of the desk.

After waiting nearly ten minutes, talking about random things, Allen got up impatiently and stormed over to the door.

"Allen? What's up?" Lavi asked, standing up. Allen looked back at him, sighing.

"I'm tired of waiting around. I'm going to go ask around for Komui." She explained, hand reaching to the door knob. She wrapped her hand around it and pulled it down to open it. But the door wouldn't budge.

"What the-!" She wiggled the door again, but to no avail. Glaring at the door, she pushed, pulled, kicked, came close to head-butting, but no such luck.

"Moyashi-chan?" Lavi questioned, moving around the desk, looking at her curiously.

"It's locked!!" she hissed in frustration.

"What?"

"It's locked!" Allen reiterated.

Allen spent a few more minutes cursing and banging on the door, but no matter what curse or threat she used, the door would not open. She finally gave up, resting her head on the wood of the door. She sighed and stared at the ground, her mind blank from the over-flow of anger and emotion.

"Hey, Moyashi-chan?"

"It's Allen," she muttered in response.

"Do you have your card deck?" Lavi asked casually, as if he really didn't care that they were locked in the room. And, apparently, he didn't. He had already deduced that someone –coughcoughKomuicoughcough- had purposely locked them in. And if there really was a specific purpose, then why should he disappoint them? Anyway, it would be fun to hang out, undisturbed, with the white-haired girl.

Lavi had since quite a while ago, noticed many things about Allen Walker, even before he had known that "he" was not a "he". Such as how her bright blue eyes sparkled when she smiled, how her pale cheeks would gain a flushed tint when she was exercising or training, how her hair almost glowed in sunlight, how her thin hips inadvertently swayed as she walked, as well as her even smaller waist. But, last but not least, how every word, every movement, how every grin made Lavi's heart jump to an unheard rhythm.

When Lavi had first discovered his enraptured behavior around, and even when the white-haired exorcist wasn't present, needless to say, he had been utterly confounded. At the time, Allen was still largely known as a male, so that was to be expected. However, when Allen had announced to Lavi, Lenalee, Komui, Kanda, and half the science department one day, that she wasn't a male, and didn't want to continue lying to her friends any longer...Well...Lavi had been greatly relieved.

It had been nearly three months ago, only a few weeks before the new year, and even less time before Allen's sixteenth birthday. Allen had been quite sullen all day, her blue eyes clouded and distant. The odd behavior was so out of place that even Kanda was disturbed by it. Lavi couldn't remember what had set her off, but suddenly, she had fallen into a nearby chair, crying out in sorrow and obvious regret.

"I'm so sorry!!" she had cried, covering her face.

"A-Allen?" Lenalee had questioned.

"I...I've been lying to you all!" she sobbed, trying her hardest to fight back her tears. It was a very heart-wrenching scene to behold. The strong, nearly unbreakable Allen Walker, the bright light of the Dark Order, the one who held them all up in her heart, was brought to tears. Lenalee had walked up to Allen, kneeling before her.

"Wh-What do you mean?" she urged Allen.

"I-! I'm not...I am not who you think I am!!"

Lavi remembered himself as not being able to breathe, and struggling to hide his shock. His sophisticated, Bookman's brain could also remember that no one else could breathe either, could not speak, or even move. Waiting on tense nerves for the next words to come from Allen's lips.

"I...I would...I never wanted to lie to anyone about this! But it was necessary!! Believe me, if I could have somehow been able to tell you without a risk, I would have!" Allen tried to explain, making no sense at all to the others.

"Allen. Calm down, please. Just...Tell us what it is that's wrong. Whatever you did, you did it for a good reason, and I'm sure of it." Lenalee comforted, rubbing Allen's arm soothingly. Allen had sniffed and looked at her through parted fingers.

"Thank you, Lenalee..." Lavi remembered Allen saying softly. She had cleared her throat bravely, and began to tell her tale.

When it was all over, everyone, excluding Kanda, comforted Allen, telling her that she had had every right to protect herself in such a manner; that no one had been harmed by her lie. Allen had looked upon them all with loving, praising blue eyes and thanked them profusely, almost bursting into tears again.

Needless to say, Lavi's confusion had been almost completely wiped out in that one day, to his great relief. From then on, his only issue was his duty as being a Bookman's apprentice. Lavi and Bookman both knew that Lavi was most likely to fail in his journey to becoming a Bookman, seeing as Lavi had chosen his Heart over the distant and disconnected behavior required of a Bookman to record history.

From then, it was only a matter of time before Lavi was discharged. His only wish was that his memory not be wiped. He had made an oath to keep the secrets of the Bookmen Clan, and that would not be something easily broken, for any reason. Not one word of the secrets would pass his lips, no matter then price, but all Lavi wanted now was to remain with his friends of the Dark Order. Bookman had seemed to accept that, having realized that it was inevitable. Bookman Junior's "Lavi" personality, which had taken over the red-head's body and mind, was stubborn, and there were no two ways around it.

Lavi's thoughts turned to the present, looking at Allen who was holding her deck of cards up.

"Yeah, I have them. Why do you ask?" she questioned, looking totally calm now, as oppose to her outburst several minutes previous. Lavi could almost laugh at her mood changes; it was kind of cute, seeing her raging with frustration one minute, calm and curious the next. ((Lavi can be the first man that I know of, to accept a woman's mood swings. He is very special in that aspect. XD))

"Well, since we are stuck in here, and aren't likely to get out soon, seeing as kicking and screaming at a door doesn't seem to make it open, " Allen flushed, slightly embarrassed as Lavi continued, "we might as well entertain ourselves with a card game, you know?" Allen nodded at the logic, and then seated herself on the other side of Komui's desk.

"What do you want to play, Lavi?" she asked, smiling as she expertly unleashed her cards and began shuffling them like the pro she was.

"Ever play Rummy and Gin?" Lavi asked, grinning mischievously.

"Ehh...A long time ago. Why?"

"Well, I'm not so sure I'm up to playing Poker with you, seeing as you enjoy cheating, so we can play Rummy for now." Lavi said, winking in an almost suggestive manner that made Allen's cheeks heat up unexpectedly.

It had been a long while since Allen had admitted to herself the growing "crush" for the red-haired, grinning Bookman Junior. Since she had met the bouncing bundle of energy and pranks, she had felt drawn to him. It had been quite frustrating, though, when she first realized just how much she cared for Lavi. It went beyond her love for her friends and humanity, or the imprisoned slaves to the evil Millenium Earl known as the Akuma. In fact, considering her great expanse of love for said beings, it was surprising that Allen had room in her heart for someone to love as strongly as she loved Lavi. But, miracles were very much possible in this day and age, as was proved on a daily basis in the life of the exorcists and other members of the Dark Order.

It didn't take Allen long to realize, however, after she met the Bookman Junior, that there was something different and special about him. He was intelligent, prankish, a strategist, brave, and an all around interesting and mysterious man. Sometimes, when she would gaze upon the bright visage of the red-head, she was overcome by the desire and need to stand beside him for the rest of her life. On a more down-to-earth note, she was also overcome by the desire to pull the bandana from his head, run her fingers through his red hair, and capture those inviting lips in a mind-blowing kiss, much to Allen's embarrassment.

Allen found that her desire for this man ran into many different categories: to know more about him, to know him in a physical manner, to hold him close to her heart for the rest of her life, to have him love her as she loved him, and so many more. At times, these desires grew so unbearable that she could not bear to look upon him for fear of literally exploding at the pressure of them all upon her heart and mind. ((How freaking cheesy..))

Cards being expertly maneuvered in her hands, Allen dealt seven cards to Lavi and then seven to herself. Finally she put the rest of the deck, face down, in between them, and flipped one over, face up next to the deck.

The game lasted almost ten minutes before Lavi laid down his last card and called proudly, "Rummy!!" Allen grimaced, having almost nine cards still in her hand.

"Damn." she said, laying down a pair of aces, a royal straight of four in the suit of hearts, and a queen of spades, a jack of spades, and a nine of spades. She had been waiting to get the ace of diamonds that was sitting in the pile at the center of the desk, as well as the ten of spades that was on top of it.

"Aahh! Lavi, I went too easy on you!" she joked, beginning to count her points. Lavi stuck his tongue out at her in response.

"You shouldn't have waited on that straight, Allen-chan. I know you've had it in your hand for at least three turns." Lavi teased, grinning as he also counted his cards.

"How much, Allen-chan?"

"Ahh, one hundred and twenty-five." Allen admitted, grimacing.

"Man, you would have had a good set of points there, Allen-chan! That sucks." Lavi said, patting her hand softly. Allen flushed at the contact, swallowing hard at the lump that formed suddenly in her throat.

"Hmph, don't rub it in." she pouted, looking away.

"How much did you get?" Allen asked, removing her hand from under Lavi's slowly, reluctantly.

"One hundred and seventy-nine." Lavi replied, shrugging nonchalantly. Allen collected the cards and reshuffled them.

"Wanna play another round? This time I won't go so easy," Allen said, smiling innocently, with a bit of a sly sparkle in her blue eyes.

"Deal 'em!" Lavi invited, returning a breath-taking smile.

They played for the next three hours, getting lost in the playful banter, and what Allen was sure was flirting. For a little while, Lavi had had the head start from the first game, but pretty quickly, Allen caught up and completely surpassed him by at least a full hundred and fifty points.

Allen's little giggle of victory for each game won was becoming much like music to Lavi's ear, making him grin in response.

As Allen counted up her points from the latest win, Lavi watched her, smiling fondly. Every minute spent with her was precious to him, earning a special chamber in Lavi's warm heart. Unable to control himself, Lavi stood up from his seat, and began walking around the desk. Well, actually, Lavi had complete control of his actions. He wanted to do what he was about to do. "Lavi's" personality was known for being bold in a great many ways, and this would prove it, if only to the two of them.

"Lavi? What's wrong?" Allen asked, her hands stopped in mid-shuffle, watching the taller man approach her.

"Absolutely nothing, Allen-chan," Lavi said softly, causing Allen's heart to skip a beat at the tone in his voice. He pulled the cards from her hand and placed them on the desk, and then pulled Allen up from her chair.

"Allen..." he said breathily, leaning close to her face, brushing her hair back with his fingers.

"Allen...May I kiss you?" he asked, bumping his forehead gently against her's. Allen stared at him, her eyes going soft, her heart racing in her chest. She grabbed Lavi's hand from his side, entwining her fingers in his.

"Only if I can kiss you back..." she replied and Lavi thought his own heart was going to burst with joy. His lips oh-so softly and gently claimed hers, tracing a soft line on her jaw. His fingers played tenderly with a strand of her hair as he pulled back from the sweetness that was Allen's soft lips.

"I would gladly let you, Allen..." he murmured as his thumb stroked her soft cheek. His lips claimed hers again, feeling more passion in the kiss than he had ever felt before. It was bliss; it was heaven, and it was most definitely reality.

"I guess this means we won't be playing poker?" Allen asked breathlessly when they broke apart.

"Only if you want to, Allen-chan." Lavi replied, picking up his new-found love and walking her over to the couch of Komui's office.

Yay!! I hope you liked it!! It's EXTREMELY mushy in my opinion. But that was because I had help from the video ".Every Time We Touch. Lavi X Allen" on youtube, by Melloma5. The song, as some might know, is Every Time We Touch by Cascada. Melloma5-san, if you EVER see this...Know that that video was just beautiful! And everyone should check it out, if you get the chance!! ((Hehehe...I'm not advertising, no, of course not. XD)) Review, if you please. :3