Chapter 20: For me

Capitulo XX: Para mí (Editado)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Hermione sat on the deserted bleachers. She rested her feet in the empty seat in front of her and leaned on her back, hugging herself trying to keep warm. She had left Hogwarts without her cloak and scarf and now the cold wind was freezing her, though she didn't care.

In that very moment, she didn't care abou anything to do with herself. Nothing in general. After hours of feeling guilty, pitying and cursing her luck, her mind now was a little bit sedated. Maybe it was because of the cold, maybe because she was a bad person and bad people didn't have remorse. Maybe they didn't have feelings either.

She wasn't even able to cry; since Ben had left she hadn't shed a single tear. Her eyes stung, that was true, not because of tears but because they were dry. It seemed that now she was empty and she couldn't help to think that maybe she was insensitive too. It have been almost an hour since she had been looking at quidditch field without watching it, an hour since she had to deal with the cold without feeling it, that she breathed without wantingto.

And that's how Draco found her, paralyzed in her seat, with her arms folded in her chest; her eyes fixed in the nothing and her wild hair moving with the wind. The movement of her hair was the only thing that made her look alive, without it she would like a statue. He approached her, thinking something sharp to mutter into her ear but when he saw her face all those thoughts vanished.

Her face looked as expressionless as a stone, white and with no doubt frozen, her eyes didn't glow and her lips were almost blue. She looked defenseless, abandoned, lost. And Draco discovered a new and uncomfortable sensation inside him, maybe something close to a protective instinct. Because, what else could he call his urgency to hug and comfort her?

Be careful, he said to herself. It's one thing to want her physically and another to get involved emotionally. Emotionally, he snorted disdainfully. He couldn't do that. He shouldn't do that. He didn't want to do that.

"What Granger? You got rid of that deaf idiot?" he asked cruelly, resting his hands on the seat next to hers and looking at the girl intently.

Hermione took a moment before looking at him, and when she did, it was as if she wasn't looking at all. She looked in his direction for a few seconds, with her pupils shining; then she returned her gaze to the field as if he didn't exist.

"I thought I heard him sobbing painfully in an empty corridor of Hogwarts," he continued with malice, his lips pursed in a devilish grin.

The girl looked at him slowly again but now she seemed to actually see him and her eyes sparkled briefly. She moved a stiff hand and without blinking she slapped the Slytherin with all her strength. He was unprepared so he lost his balance and had to hold tightly to the backseat not to fall. He looked at her with pure anger, his blonde bangs covering his eyes, but she was already on her feet and was looking at him with pure disgust.

"You're disgusting," she spat while looking at him as if it was the first time she did, as if what she saw make her want to throw up. "Don't you dare mock Ben, insult him or criticize him Malfoy. Because he is everything you're not, you're not even worth of saying his name."

Hermione watch him intently for a few seconds and then, sighing as if he wasn't worth it, she turned around and with a sure pace started to leave.

Draco was paralyzed for a moment, but then he stood up roughly, feeling humiliated and insulted. How dare she slap him? To talk to him like that? How dare she compare him with Dewey and say he wasn't able to say his name?

"I'm not sure you think that Granger," he shouted mockingly so she could be able to hear him while he touched his sore cheek, "because we both know you love me not him."

The girl stopped right on her tracks and Malfoy was able to notice how she went rigid and lifted up her face, she was still facing backwards. Draco smiled inwardly, knowing that he had touched nerveand he wanted her to feel a little of the pain he felt when she insulted him.

"Yes, but I don't know why," she said in a dead voice. Then she continued her way down the stairs. Draco, growling, went behind her and grabbed her by the wrist. Hermione freed herself from his grasp violently as if the mere touch of his skin was unbearable, but she turned to face him, with her chin up and a cold stare.

"What do you want Malfoy?" she spat. "Aren't you satisfied yet? You've ruined my relationship with Ben, you've destroyed my chance to be happy. Congratulations, you must feel proud of yourself," she said and mustered a grin worthy of a Malfoy. "I'm sure your father would be proud of you if he knew that you're able to ruin the life of a filthy Mudblood." She said those last words with a hatred that not even Malfoy was able to manage. "I know you love to show off but I'm not in the mood to bear your presence. I'm not crying today, I won't put my head down and don't say a word. At this moment I can assure you that I'm capable of anything, so if you value your life, you will disappear from my sight."

She stared at him with hatred, so he will see that she was talking seriously and then she continued her way out of there. Draco was paralyzed, he was still processing Hermione's words that stabbed him like knifes and he was afraid. He felt something deeper than fear.

He felt panic at the idea of crossing the line and losing her definitely, without even having her. That thought scared him so intensely that he wasn't able to move for a couple of minutes but then he ran after her; she was already in the gardens on her way to the castle.

He nearly flew the stairs of the bleachers, and jumped till he reaches the damp grass and ran after her, fighting with the cool wind that seemed as an invisible obstacle between her and him.

Even though it was only seconds, Draco felt it took him hours to get to her and spin her around.

"What the hell do you want?" she shrieked furiously. Her eyes were full of hate, her eyebrows raised in a threatening way and her lips in a tight line. "What the hell do you want from me?" she insisted with her balled fists, as if she was planning to punch him at any moment. "What's your problem with me? You neither want me with someone else, nor with yourself!"

"Hermione…" he started.

"Don't you dare use my name!" she shouted loudly. "I know you Malfoy, and I know you only use my name when you want something from me, tarnishing the name that people who love me use. And that's all I have left, the only thing you haven't stained." Her voice trembled and Draco found a breach in her rage.

"Why did you have to step into my life? I'm so so sick of this… I can't handle it anymore." Her lips trembled desperately. "It's been weeks since I've not been myself for weeks,I hide my feelings from my friends, I lie to my friends, I feel like a traitor, I'm desperate to pretend that I'm ok, but I haven't felt like smiling, eating, studying for weeks… And all because of you Malfoy," she said bitterly and a pair of tears left her eyes. She closed her eyes trying to hold back tears but her lips let out a small sob. She couldn't handle it anymore. She had been empty of tears, now she felt full of them. "Why Malfoy?" she asked in a whisper and looked into his eyes. "Why did I had to fall in love with you?"

Draco could only watch her, trying to control the jolt he felt on his chest when she said those five words.

She loved him.She had finally said it, admitted it. Wasn't the world wonderful all of a sudden? He felt overwhelmed, intoxicated with an amazing sensation, pure and primitive. Something he had never experienced before, but he liked without doubt.

Impulsively, he took the girl's face between his hands and brought her to him, into his mouth, crushing it with desire. He wanted to kiss her until she lost her mind, until he felt her yearning and her surrendering to his lips. He was so anxious that it took him a while to notice that she wasn't kissing him back as she had a couple of hours before. On the contrary, she was rigid, tense and pressing her lips tightly together so he couldn't deepen the kiss, andshe was fighting urgently to push him back. Draco was surprised: she had never been able to reject him. She had always surrendered, melted and broken with him. What was wrong now?

Hermione felt his hesitation and took advantage of it, pushing him far from her. Draco could almost hear how something broke when she pushed him and he was forced back to reality. Suddenly the air was cold and hostile and the pink light hurt his eyes instead of simulating a romantic scenario. The worst was that he had no clue of what was going on.

"Have you listened to a word of what I've said Malfoy?" she squeaked heatedly.

"But what…" he began confused.

"Do you think you can fix everything with a kiss?" she shouted. She was furious as hell. Had he not listened to a word of what she just said and he didn't care, but he treated her like she was any other girl. He considered her so weak, so easily manipulated to use a kiss to content her. After all he had done did he truly believed that she would forgive him with just a kiss? Did he have no respect for her at all?

Draco watched her, perplexed, for a while, and then he got pissed. He had had enough for the day. She had beaten him, insulted him and shouted at him until she could no more, now she rejected him. Who the hell did she think she was?

"What's with all this Granger?" he spat. "Now you try to pretend you are worthy, moral and noble? It's a little bit late for that, don't you think? I've felt you shudder in pleasure in my arms and answer me back… how can I say it?" he mocked. "Rather...enthusiastically!"

Draco enjoyed how she tightened her lips and blushed intensely. He took advantage of her distraction to get a little closer, invading her personal space on purpose but without touching her at all. He grinned and fixed his gaze on her, without blinking. When he spoke his voice was as soft as velvet.

"You're not exactly a chaste and pure girl, Hermione.

She blushed deeper but raised her chin arrogantly"

"And you admitted that you love me," he added, satisfied. He had reminded her that she was his.And that she had said it without wanitng to, making him feel more powerful.

"Yes," she answered flippantly, "but that doesn't mean that I want to be with you, Malfoy."

Hermione saw how Draco's eyes widened, showing their icy color. It was obvious that he hadn't considered that possibility.

The girl felt that for the first time since she knew him that she was in control of the situation, and she had to admit she felt powerful, dominant; it was a nice feeling. At least when the person you were fighting was Draco Malfoy himself.

"And as a matter of fact, Draco…" She said his name with the same tone he used when he called her Hermione, savoring it and tasting the power the name itself conceded, "I don't want to be with you.

"You can't…" he stammered."

She laughed cruelly at the Slytherin and Draco felt how it was to be humiliated.

"Of course I can, Malfoy," she said with all the self confidence that he was no longer feeling. And smiling proudly, she turned around and left him there.

Draco's first impulse was to follow her, but that would just humiliate him more. He watched her shrink into the distance and spat on the grass with all of his rage.

Let her leave, he said to himself, for now he will let her think she had won. But the victory wouldn't last long, he assured himself, cursing her.

"You will be mine Hermione Granger, you will be," he swore.

So, what do you think?

The truth is that Hermione is really pissed, and if Draco wants her he'll have to fight.

I really want to thank everyone who's still reading this story, and the ones that put it on alert list. THANKS so much! Because of you I feel excited about translating! Hope you'll take the time to leave me a review, that will make me very happy.

Special thanks to my new beta whatabeautifulness for helping me! Mystic Tink I will always be grateful for all your help and support!

XOXO

Lola :)