Akatsuki Kittens,Chapter 4: And the Introductions Begin

Staring at the pile of kittens and human-cat crossbreeds on her floor,Kinta sighed and began to spearate them from one another,having heard the desperate and angry yowls they kept throwing at each other. Once they were all sraightened out and lined up (if messily,the teal kitten kept trying to pounce on the others and there was one with extremely spiky fur who kept actually pouncing on the others and starting squabbles) she prepared to interrogate those who could speak when a ripping sound abruptly echoed through the apartment. A long slit appeared in the air,then opened into a much more organized portal,spat out four kittens and a large amount of money,and closed up again quite neatly.

Making a low sound of irritation deep in her throat,Kinta scooped up the money and tossed it into a basket near the couch,which upon closer inspection by a brindled kitten contained what must've been nearly fifty pounds of cash- that's close to,dear god,half a million dollars or more!!! While Kakuzu leapt into the basket,damn near foaming at the mouth and wondering just how he could have missed this,Kinta straightened up to her full height of six feet (six foot one with her beloved boots) and made a remarkably convincing cat noise; you know that low rrrrrrrmmmmmmrrrrrrrrrrr a cat makes when it's warning you that it's about to unleash hell and fury from teeth and claws on some offending limb? That rumbled throughout the room, making every kitten and even the hybrids (for lack of a better word to call them) freeze. They then laid down and quickly rolled over to show thier bellies and necks submissively at another cat sound,and angry sort of chuff.

Her lip pulling back to reveal oddly large canine teeth,the expert vet crouched down in front of the mass of kittens,balancing on the balls of her feet. "Alright,intros first. These four," she gestured to the kittens that came from the second portal,"are Envy,Greed,Wrath,and Lust. They are Homunculi and even in kitten form therefore immortal to any techniques you could wield against them. Don't fight 'em,I don't care how much Wrath and Eveny provoke you or Greed steals your stuff. That reminds me,Greed,why in the fuck is Lust here too? Dante only mentioned you,Wrath an' Envy." The cat in question scratched idly under his chin with a back paw,tan fur the color of his human skin clashing with the dark blue-black of his underbelly. "Ah, I see you wanna tell me in private,very well." Turning to the hyrid now,her eyes narrowed and both men shrank back,strangely intimidated by the action even though they'd faced far worse and much,much creepier. "As for you lot.....what the fuck did Mayuri and Kisuke do to cause....this?" Ichigo tensed and unknowingly adopted an attack stance,tail bristling. "How do you know they did this?"

The girl snorted and reached to the back of his neck,squeezing it gently with forefinger, middle finger,and thumb; this made him relax totally(completely against his will). "They came through here like three hours ago,and after making them reopen the portal I literally kicked them back through. Since that was about five minutes ago,I'm guessing when the thing opened and spit them out it sucked ya in. Portals are damned funny that way. Now who th'hell all is here?" Ichigo sighed before ticking off all those he knew on his fingers. "There's me,Kenpatchi, Grimmjow,Nemu obviously,Shinji,Ulquiorra,Ukitake,Unohana......" he paused. "I don't know WHO the hell those are," he declared,pointing to three other cats that were to his left. Kinta groaned. "I think I do.....oh yeah! I completely forgot- there's a guest today!" Remi,who had been standing and staring in shellshock all this time,pounced on Kinta from behind and slammed her to the ground. "Damn straight! Now what the fuck is going on here?!?!" Kinta levered herself up,seemingly an effortless thing despite the hundred and twenty or so pounds planted squarely in the center of her back. "Magic shit,space-time continum,portals and interdemensional rips,not to mention all the alternate dimensions themselves. It would be hard, boring,and headache-inducing were I to explain it all now." Remi was silent for a second,then suddenly responded "Okay" and pounced on Nemu,groping the other woman's chest thoroughly(it turns out she'd been staring at Nemu intently while Kinta talked; it appeared the sight of the girl had completely captured Remi's focus for the moment and she couldn't be bothered with something as mundane as what the fuck was going on).

For Nemu's part,she handled the situation as calmly as if she'd been ordered to go pick up some equipment for her father. Her eyes widened maybe a milimeter (Kinta wasn't sure there was a smaller measurement) and her monotone voice came after a single slow blink. "Excuse me,miss,but what are you doing? I do not understand." Remi grinned widely up at her from her place where her chin was firmly planted between the purple-haired girl's breasts. "It's a greeting." Nemu was quiet a moment,then blinked again. "Oh. I see." He tilted her head. "Am I expected to return the greeting in this social circle?" "Not nessessarily," Kinta suddenly answered from above them,looking calm but with a strange glint in her eye,"You being from a social culture different from our own,you are not required to return the greeting. You simply need to accept the greeting and not push her off- pushing her off would be rude,not acknowledging her good-natured greeting." Nemu nodded and continued to sit where she was as Remi shamelessly groped to her heart's content. Grinning,a tall tanned man with red lines running over his shoulders,chest,and arms sidled up to Kinta's side. "A greeting,huh?" Kinta smirked at him,eyes becoming half-lidded as the dull green suddenly seemed to glow. "With the women,yes,Greed. When men are greeted by women,and by the way women do the greeting here and take charge,there are three options- a crotchgrope,usually for either attractive men or friends, and assgrope for people you're not familiar with but are attractive,and of course the ass slap. Those are for the really hot ones and aren't just a greeting,but a signal of "Holy Hades you are one SMOKIN fine man,notice me 'cuz I'd bang you in a heartbeat without even knowing your name."

Sitting on the nearby couch,Kinta explained,"Our soceity is women-dominated,and extremely public with affection....I beleive other cultures refer to it as 'blatant sexual displays in unseemly places such as parks and sidewalks'. Gropes,slaps(the playful kind),kisses,even sex are are socially accepted norms here no matter where you are- in a club,a resturant,train,doesn't matter." The brown-haired girl then proceeded to make up quite a lot more bullshit facts to fuck with her charge's minds about thier "culture",getting the men rather excited,then suddenly stood and walked to the kitchen doorway,adding,"But none of this knowledge is of use to you anyway- none of you lot are allowed to leave my house- Oh stop groaning like that,did you think I would actually let you misbehave just becuase you're in my dimension? -except for..." she stopped, frowning,and walked over to where Remi was still on the floor nuzzling Nemu happily. "Hey honey,what's your name? An' why did ya show up at my place anyway? Ya never got a chance ta say anythin' before all this shit started,so le'ts begin anew; I'm Kinta Morinojashii,vet extrordinare,manager of interdemensional relations and pets,and tamer of animals,not to mention in desperate need of an assistant to help me keep all this bullshit straight. And you are?"