Summary: Mai has a little crush on her friend. Who happens to be in love with her sister. Who happens to be dead. 'Anything for you, Seiichi-senpai.'

Author's Note: Alright, this one-shot is a randomly inspired son-of-a-PLOT BUNNY that I had today while playing a... Video game. So, yeah. Enjoy.

Today is a rainy day. Little droplets fall down from the sky into this grey, wet city. The raindrops slide off the window, smearing the dust into dirty little tears. The bus stops, and I get off. I step into the rain and head towards the looming white building.

I can't help but want to skip a bit as I enter the hospital. This is the place, the place where, well, everything happened. But I know neechan will like my little act of defiance. I know he will like it, too. So I skip, past the crying kids, the crying adults, the grandma who sits in the wheelchair and nods at me every time I pass, and up the stairs. I stop in front of a door. The door. I stare at it for a while, then knocks.

"Come in," came the voice. I enter the room, and there he is.

"Hey, hey, Y-to-the-S!" I wave, and he smiles. "You're here."

I plop myself on the bed beside him, "Duh. I brought you some flowers."

He laughs, "Carnations?"

I shrug, "Today's Mother's Day."

He raises his eyebrows slightly, "But I'm not your mother."

I snort, "I noticed." When he continues to look at me in that 'mhm' way, I give up, "Look, that was the only thing that they sold today, okay? It's the thought that counts. The thought!"

He laughs again, and I squirm, "Stop laughing already! Jeez." But I'm laughing along with him, soaking in his gentle, infectious laugh.

And there it goes again, that stupid clench of my chest. I stare at his face as he continues to laugh softly about something or the other, willing the feeling to go away. Go away! Shoo, shoo!

You see, the thing is, he's got this kind of disease. Al-something. Albert's disease? Al-miner's disease? Whatever, just something that's making him like this. I never hear the other people talk about it and I'm not so hot on bringing it up myself. But I know it's there. It shows itself whenever that happens.

Like now.

He's not laughing anymore, but a faint smile still traces his face. His eyes are like that again. That… Look. The look that isn't meant for me. The look that's meant for my sister.

I want to look away, but I can't. I know what his expression means and I'm not going to lie and tell you that it doesn't hurt. Because it does. A lot.

Then suddenly, it's gone. He grins, (an expression that makes him look very evil in my opinion, by the way, but nobody believes me) and ruffles my hair. Nobody ever ruffles my hair. Except for him. Only for him.

"So how's school?"

I scowl, "Do you have to ask that every time I come?"

He laughs, "Of course! I am your mother after all." He gestures towards the flowers that I brought earlier.

"You're still on about that? Dude, the subject changed a long time ago!"

He laughs yet again (oww, oww, oww). Obviously, he doesn't realize what it does to me. Either that, or he's a sadistic freak. Which I believe could be true, too. "-on the Language test?"

I look up at him, "Huh? What?"

He shakes his head, "Zoning out again? You have to learn to pay attention more, or you'll never do well in your classes!"

I roll my eyes at him, "Yes, mom."

He giggles, (Giggles! My gosh!) and ruffles my hair again, "Anything for you, honey."

I do a fake gag to kind of double over and clench my chest. I know he's got that thing going on again, and I'm not looking up until it's gone.

After a while, I hear his voice, "Are you alright?" He sounds kind of worried.

I straighten up quickly, "Of course! What, you think I was actually sick?"

He smiles, but still sounds kind of worried, "If you're not feeling well, just go home and rest, okay? Don't push yourself so hard."

I glance away. Suddenly, I feel kind of tired, "Yeah. Sure."

After sitting there for a couple more minutes in silence, I get up, "Hey, I'm going to go now. I'll see you tomorrow."

He nods, "Bye."

I wave and leave the room, making sure to close the door softly. It's official. Now I know for sure that he's got that Al-whatever disease. Anybody who knows my family knows that neechan's the hardworking one and I'm the slack-butt. What he said just now is something that he would only say to neechan. I nod, confirming my thoughts and ignoring that blasted pain that claws at me.

"What are you nodding about in front of the door?"

I look over, "Oh, hey Marui-senpai."

He throws a half-lazy salute, "Been visiting Buchou again?"

I nod. To tell the truth, I don't really know any of the people in the tennis team very well. It was mostly neechan who'd hung out with them and stuff, being on the girl's tennis team herself. I didn't even know who Marui-senpai was until the day he attended neechan's funeral. He cried a lot.

He offers a piece of gum, "Want one?"

I shake my head, "Nah. I'll be going first. Thanks anyway."

He shrugs and opens the door, going into the room.

Today is a sunny day. I burst into the room without knocking.

Sanada-senpai is there. I stop a little uncertainly.

"Uhh, did I come in at the wrong time?" They're still staring at me. "I'll just be, umm, outside."

I put the plastic bag down on the side table, "It's ice cream." I glance over at Sanada-senpai. "You can have some, too." I ran out of the room. Sanada-senpai's kind of scary. You just don't mess with him.

Sanada-senpai left almost exactly after I ran out of the room. I guess he doesn't really like strawberry ice cream. I don't blame him.

I go inside the room cautiously. He was alone. I sigh and plop down beside him, watching him eat. "How can you even like that sort of thing? It's disgusting."

He looks up at me, "I think it's delicious."

I roll my eyes, "I know that. How can I not when you bought what, seventeen buckets of it? Last time at my-" I stop. Wait. Should I say my sister's birthday? It'd probably make more sense to him, since I'm supposed to be neechan or whatever.

He stares at me quizzically, "At your what?"

I sigh, "At our family's birthday party."

He laughs, "Oh, right. But your father really likes strawberry flavour, too."

I snort, "Yeah, being the only one in our family who actually likes it."

He laughs again, and I stare at him. The lines of his face are beautiful. I think someone said before that he's like a perfect statue chiselled out of marble or some kind of rock. I've got to say, props to whoever that said that! Because that's exactly what he looks like. Some kind of ethereal being. A sculpture enchanted into life. Into liquid, flowy life.

I'm interrupted rudely out of my bout of poetic-ness by a hand waving in front of my eyes. "Helloo," he sings, "Anybody there?"

I bat his hands away, "What?"

He blinks, looking a little surprised, "Are you okay?"

I groan inwardly. It's not supposed to be like this! I'm supposed to make him happy! Not getting wound up in my own… Whatever it is.

"PMS," I say simply, and he nods. "Ah."

We sit there for a while and I finish the strawberry ice cream. No use wasting it.

Today is a cloudy day. Well, actually, it's not exactly daytime. I just woke up from the dream again. The dream of that time when neechan and I were in the car. And doosan was driving.

I don't think doosan ever got over his guilt about what happened that day, even though we all know that it's not his fault. You just got to blame someone, I guess, and it's easier to blame yourself. Because, then, you can punish yourself.

I punish myself by sitting at the window and not going to visit him, even though he's only three blocks away.

Today is a windy day. I actually stumbled a couple of times while walking towards the hospital. It's neechan's one year death anniversary today.

I step into the room, and he turns around to smile at me. Here it goes again, that little pain-constricting chest of mine. "Hey."

I sit down at the usual spot, just about to comment on the suspicious weather when he suddenly reaches over to brush my bangs away from my face. I freeze, the sounds dying at my throat.

His hand doesn't leave my head. He fixes my hair a bit, running his hands gently through all the tangles and knots. I shiver. What's going on?

His hand then returns to my face, and I see it. The expression. And while my chest does the usual clenching thing, something else dawns on me. I've been waiting for this.

I've been waiting for this!

I push his hand away. No. This isn't right. This isn't… I can't…

I can't do this anymore.

"Seiichi-senpai." The words sound weird, foreign on my lips. I wet it. My mouth is suddenly very dry. "Stop."

He's confused, I know. "What's wrong?"

"Listen," I say desperately, "you're… I'm not… I'm not neec-her."

"What are you talking about?" I flinch at the bewilderment in his voice.

"You're seeing things!" I can't look at his face, I can't face his expression, "I'm not her! I'm not neechan! I'm not Kikusa! I'm-" my voice falters.

"I'm Mai," I whisper. There. I said it. I've given into my own selfishness.

"I'm sorry, Seiichi-senpai," I want to cry. But I shouldn't be the one that's supposed to cry.

It's all my fault. I should've died.

"I'm sorry."

Suddenly, his hand is under my chin. He lifts my face up, and I let him. Let him see me for who I really am. Let him hate me.

Hate me.

He looks into my eyes. He's angry. He's not smiling anymore.

Hate me.

His voice is low and steady, "Mai."

I nod.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I want to turn away. It still hurts.

"Did you think that I thought you were Kikusa?"

I want to turn into a balloon and drift away. High into the sky. Away. Then I would pop and I'd disappear. I'd be gone. Gone.

He shakes me. His face is blurry now. Everything looks blurry.

"Mai!"

I blink, and the tear falls from my eyes. I can see his face again. His eyes. They look…hurt?

"Mai, listen to me."

I'm listening, I want to say, but it's not coming out.

"I know you're Mai. Mai stop avoiding me!"

I'm scared. I want to disappear somewhere. I can't take this. I cant…

"Mai, I love you."

What?

"I love you." His eyes are boring into mine. With that same kind of look. The same one that I've seen all those times before.

"No," I answer calmly, "You like neechan. You like Kikusa."

He shakes his head in what seems to be frustration, "No! I love you!"

I feel detached, somehow, "It's ok, Seiichi-senpai. I won't be here anymore. I'm a good girl. I won't bother you anymore. I-"

Then the world came crashing down. Because his lips are on mine, and I can't seem to understand anything anymore.

Finally, what seems like a thousand years later, he pulls away.

"Do you understand now?"

I nod, because I've officially lost my voice.

"Good," he leans in again, "I was getting tired of waiting."

Author's comment: Ahhhhhh!! Ahhhhhhh!! Cheese to the max! By the way, I know that what Mai thinks Yukimura has is not Alzheimer's disease. Mai's just stupid, that's all. Oh, and this is one of the few times where I've tried to write in present form, so please bear with me (and feel free to point out my mistakes.)

To tell the truth, I'm actually not sure why I've decided to write about Yukimura. It was totally random. I guess you could say that his face just kind of popped in my head and said, "Write the story about me." Yeah. It was really weird.

Well, anyway, please review and tell me what you think! For those of you who are waiting for the next chapter of "October!", don't worry, it's coming!