by VoxM
A/N: This is another time-killer as I try to work on my other longer, fic. That one just keeps expanding as I try to tie things together and edit. Argh. Anyway, I borrowed Hermione's appreciation of Cedric (I miss him and his sweet, honourable self) from Arabella's HQoW4. If you haven't read this—go read her works. For that matter, go to SugarQuill.net and read everything there, too.
None of the rest of it's mine either. Not even any of the famous redheads. But I do like "TPS."
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Harry Potter was lying on the grass near the edge of the Burrow's swimming hole. His best friend, Ron Weasley, had sprawled his lanky body out not too far away. A clump of brush concealed them from the general view, which was just as well because the two of them were now quite sunburned. Ron's hair was drying in funny spikes all over his head, while Harry's . . . Well, knowing his hair, he didn't even want to think about what it might look like right now. He closed his eyes, dozing lightly. He did love spending time at the Burrow. Currently, the stone house was filled with Weasleys (which Weasleys exactly it was filled with varied by the day), Harry, and his other best friend, Hermione Granger.
He sighed, realizing how quickly the school year was approaching. Memories of the horrors of last term flashed into his mind. He shook his head to get rid of them. Best not to think about such things and just enjoy the summer now. Harry tried to continue absorbing as much lazy summer as he could without thinking so hard that it would be almost like work, but this attempt utterly confused him and he gave up, thinking instead about how nice it would be to get back to playing Quidditch.
A pair of voices interrupted his reverie. Ron looked up sleepily, one ear trying to catch what was happening. In the field behind the brush, Ginny Weasley, the youngest of all the Weasleys and the only girl was bemoaning something. Hermione was following her, trying to cheer her up. Apparently Ginny was not having any of it. From where he was lying, Harry could hear her saying
"Well, I KNOW it's STUPID and SHALLOW and all that. But I just wish that I could be good-looking. I mean, not that I really think my looks matter, but I do. A little. I just don't know. ARGH!" And Ginny dramatically threw herself into a patch of nearby daisies.
"Ginny, you're very pretty already." Hermione sounded exasperated. Harry, face turning a bit pink at the thought, agreed with her. Not that he'd say anything with her slightly protective brother around. "And I think you're going to give Hogwarts a shock in a year or so when you come back and are nothing less than beautiful."
She flopped down next to the younger girl. Harry felt some guilt about eavesdropping on them and was about to wave and call out, when a long freckled arm caught his wrist and pushed it down. Ron shook his head, a mischievous grin on his face. He put his finger to his lips and winked. Harry was struck by how much Ron looked like his older twin brothers when he did that. The girls hadn't seen them nor had they seen Harry's aborted wave.
"Perfect opportunity," Ron whispered to Harry. Harry gave him a warning look. "Oh, we won't get caught—look at these bushes. Now, shhh! I want some information. Blackmail!" Harry flopped back onto his elbows. Against his better judgment, he too continued listening in.
"But," was wailing Ginny, "look at my hair. It's so bright. It doesn't even look like a normal hair color. And these awful, awful freckles. Freckles and red hair do not beautiful girls make."
"You are being terribly silly. There are plenty of examples of famous and lovely redheads in history. Anyway, it doesn't matter. If there weren't, you'd just have to be the first." Hermione sat up. "Why don't you let me braid your hair up? We'll put daisies in it and you'll look practically like a wood nymph."
Ron pretended to retch. "Girls" he mouthed.
Harry knew that Hermione's feminine tendencies were slightly less than those of most girls her age. It was nice of her to do girly things with Ginny. He could hear them giggling.
A thought occurred to him. Maybe Hermione wasn't just doing it for Ginny. Maybe she liked having the opportunity to do things that she couldn't with Ron and himself around. Sometimes he really did feel that he and Ron ended up cutting her out not only of their "boy" activities, but also from other people and other things to do. He shook his head. Ron glanced at him curiously, but they both snapped their ears to attention when they heard the conversation continue.
"If there are so many famous redheaded women then name some." Ginny said.
"Um . . ." Hermione thought for a minute. "Queen Elizabeth I. Hah! Most powerful woman in the Muggle world during her reign. How could you forget her?" Ginny sighed.
"Yes, but was she beautiful?"
"I don't know. She never got married, but they say she had lots of admirers and never took them up on their proposals." Hermione mused. "Plus she was fabulously brilliant. Definitely a woman to be reckoned with."
"Okay, maybe then. Name another."
"Mary, Queen of Scots."
"Didn't she get executed? By Elizabeth? I'm not ending up like that. Try again."
"Er . . . she's not British, but Katharine Hepburn!" Hermione sounded as if that answer should satisfy Ginny. Ginny was doubtful.
"Who's she?"
"Oh, an old Muggle film star. Stunningly beautiful and smart, too. She won the most American Academy Awards—that's kind of like an Order of Merlin for film stars—of any actor or actress in history." Hermione sighed. "Her movies are wonderful. They're very funny and well-written. 'The Philadelphia Story' is my favourite. You'd like them, Ginny." She paused for a second. "Next summer you should come to my house and we'll watch some together. It'd be great. We'll make popcorn and do funny Muggle things. I mean, assuming everything—"
"Ends up okay, I know."
Ron and Harry gaped at each other. They'd never been invited to Hermione's house. But their surprise was interrupted by a turn in the girls' discussion. Hermione was still listing influential redheaded woman after influential redheaded woman, reeling the names off at an impressive rate when Ginny abruptly cut Hermione off.
"All right, so that does it for redheaded women, then. You have just proven that there are many examples of intelligent, devastatingly gorgeous and powerful women with bright red hair. I'm sold. I have an impressive destiny before me. Let's get even more interesting, then. What about the men?"
"The men?"
"Famous redheaded men. Name some."
Ron raised an eyebrow suggestively. Harry stifled a laugh.
"Napoleon." Ron looked a little disappointed. "The US President Thomas Jefferson. Vivaldi. Vincent Van Gogh. Christopher Columbus."
"More Muggles?" Ginny laughed. "Were they handsome?"
"I don't know. They were . . . definitely short. And they're all dead anyway." The girls burst into giggles. When they calmed down, Ginny said,
"Hermione, you know, I really don't know a lot about Muggles or Muggle history. Why don't you give me some examples of impressive men who I might possibly know? Think of people in the wizarding world."
"You passed Muggle Studies with a 97%, Ginny. You know a lot about Muggle history." Hermione sounded perplexed. "Besides, the only redheaded wizards I know are . . ." She stopped. "Oh. I see where this is leading." The boys could hear her take a deep breath.
"GINNY!" She sounded as though the very thought was searing her mind with pain. "THEY ARE YOUR BROTHERS. THEY ARE WEASLEYS. I CANNOT DO THAT."
She lowered her voice.
"Besides, now you're starting to sound like Parvati and Lavender. All of those 'who do you fancy' questions." Hermione's voice took on an affected quality. "'Hermione, who would you rather go out with, Ron or Harry?' 'Ron's sooooo tall and has those nice shoulders, but Harry has amazing eyes. How can you be sooo lucky, Hermione?' Absolute rubbish. You should hear those two carry on about every boy they know."
There was a pause and the two boys grinned embarrassedly at each other. Ron mouthed "Fabulous eyes, Harry!" and gave him a thumbs up. Harry smacked him, and Ron stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
Hermione continued. "Gin, it was terrible. And then you should have heard them after the Ball last year. The Second task was even worse. They would not let up about Viktor. 'You've got a famous Seeker in love with you. How do you do it, Hermione?'"
Ron snorted disgustedly. The conversation stopped.
Harry froze. They were about to get caught. Hermione sounded suspicious.
"Did you hear something? I swear I heard someone just now. Where'd Harry and Ron go off to this morning anyway? I haven't seen them all day." Hermione sounded a little wistful. A twinge of guilt hit Harry. Ron looked a little ill at ease, too. They hadn't asked Hermione to come swimming with them.
"I don't know—they're probably off doing stupid boy things. For crying out loud, stop avoiding it. And you think I'd tell those big-mouthed prats anything? Come on, Hermione. It's just a question. It's all strictly hypothetical. It's practically like a science experiment."
There was a pause, and Harry didn't need a lot of imagination to know that his friend was rolling her eyes. However, he would have been very intrigued to notice how deeply Hermione was blushing.
"I really do think I heard something." She paused again and then she surrendered.
"All right. Fine. You want me to answer, I'll answer." There was a long silence.
Ron looked like he was on pins and needles.
Hermione finally said. "Are we going strictly on physical attributes here? Because that's what I'm doing. Nothing else. And remember, this is not an admission of any sort of fancying. It's an appreciation. If it was more than that, well, then last year I'd have been following Ced— " She broke off. There was an awkward moment. Harry looked down at the grass. "Anyway."
"Go on."
"Erm. I'm not sure that I want to do this, after all."
"GO ON."
"All right. Remembering that this is strictly on physical looks, though. And it's hypothetical. Because I do not, in fact, fancy any of your brothers."
"This is just a question for a person outside of the family. I'd ask Harry, but I don't think he swings that way."
Ron was on his back now, shaking with gales of silent laughter. Harry glared at him. They really were going to get caught.
"Wait." Ginny stopped for a second. "I can ask you this question, can't I? Are you—? I mean, I think you fancy blokes, right?"
Behind the brush, two pairs of eyebrows shot up. Harry's jaw dropped and Ron went very white. This was a possibility neither of them had considered.
"Either way it's okay with me, but on the chance you didn't fancy men then I mean you wouldn't really be helpful answering the question." Ginny was stumbling, trying not to offend Hermione.
"Ginny. I would say something if I was. Honestly I would. Yes. I fancy blokes." An odd expression resembling relief passed over Ron's face. He snorted again, louder this time.
" 'Course she fancies blokes. Didn't anyone but me notice her fawning over that idiot Lockhart second year?" Harry shushed him.
Luckily, the girls didn't appear to have heard the comment. Instead Ginny was still coaxing answers out of the brown-eyed prefect. "Stop stalling!"
At last Hermione answered her.
"Fine. Here you are, then." She hesitated for a second. "Bill. And then Percy."
Ron turned purple.
Ginny must have appeared as flabbergasted as Ron did because Hermione started explaining quickly. "You said judge by looks alone. And Bill, though he's not my type and really is too old by several years, is currently the best-looking of your brothers."
"Yes, but Percy?"
"It's his personality that's obnoxious. Again, I don't fancy him. My God, that would be—" Hermione shuddered. "Well. Anyway, he is good-looking. It's just a shame for him that he's Percy, because he'd do much better getting dates if he had a personality transplant."
Ron, despite his purple tinge, had to stifle a laugh. Harry couldn't help smiling, too. Poor Percy. If he only knew how much his obnoxious attitude was costing him.
"Your braids are all finished, Ginny." They could hear Hermione get up. "Ready?"
"Mmm." Ginny got to her feet and brushed herself off. As the two girls walked back towards the Burrow, Harry heard her ask Hermione
"Hey, Hermione? What did you mean when you said 'currently' the best looking?"
Ron's ears seemed to perk up again and he lost a little of his purple hue.
"Well, there is a dark horse, so to speak, amongst your other brothers. I think he'll eventually outstrip Bill by quite a lot."
"You mean you think. . ."
"Yes." Hermione said promptly. There was yet another pause and Ron looked almost hopeful. Harry would have laughed if his friend hadn't seemed to be taking this so seriously.
"George."
Ron's face fell again.
"LIAR! You SCARLET woman, YOU!" Ginny shrieked and chased a laughing Hermione out of their view. "You are LYING! Making this all up! What kind of a prefect are you?"
Suddenly Hermione's voice seemed to be coming from behind them. It was a quite a bit louder than it had been before and it was dangerously sweet.
"The kind who"—and here Harry felt something tap his shoulder—"doesn't appreciate eavesdroppers."
Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Ron whirl.
"Constant vigilance, boys."
He could hear Ginny start cracking up in the background.
Unlike Ron, Harry didn't need to turn around to know that they were in trouble.
* * * * * *
A/N: Hee. I made myself laugh writing this. Poor Ron. I picked on him so much. If I didn't know that Hermione loves him, I'd feel guilty about it. But he should know there's an old saying that eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves.