AN: This is the result of too much caffeine at 1:30 AM. Yes, my friend and I got onto the question "is there a way Saïx because second in command without the yaoi?" and this is what we came up with. At the time, it was hilarious so I'm writing a one-shot for it. This is for you, Frith-Chan w.
Xigbar peeked around the corner, before casually striding down the corridor. He had no idea what Mansex would do once he found out, but until then, he was going to enjoy his new look. So far, Marluxia and Lexaeus had commented on it (well, Lexaeus' comment was "Superior's going to kill you for that," but Xigbar liked to count that as a comment). Well, in a way, it was Xemnas' fault that Xigbar did what he did. The Superior should know better than to have Xigbar look for stuff in his room. Especially as he had been asking so many questions on the subject of the man's hair. So when he found the hair dye (which he decided was a very nice colour), he decided to take a bit. After all, a few streaks never killed anybody, and Mansex had so much of the stuff. Sure, he might get yelled at for not asking permission and everything else that came with that sort of thing, but Xigbar was willing to put up with that. He was always being yelled at for one thing or another, so he was almost immune to it, he would just zone out and say stuff like "yes", "no", "I'm sorry Superior" and all that stuff and then he would avoid Xemnas for a few days. After all that, everything went back to normal. Xigbar got so caught up in his thoughts (which went nowhere near coming up with something to say to Superior once he was caught) that he did not notice the silver-haired man appear behind him. When he did notice, Xigbar panicked and portalled to somewhere else in the castle. That was far too close, he thought to himself. He spent the rest of the day working on a plan for when he next met with Xemnas.
For the next few days, Xigbar was able to avoid his Superior (how he did it was beyond him, or any member of the Organization who knew what he was doing) and carry on with his life. But it was that one time when he got too cocky with his Xemnas-avoiding skills and decided to actually hunt the man down, just too see if he could still weasel out of getting caught. Xigbar checked in his office, his room and anything within a 100 meter perimeter of Xemnas' all wonderful Kingdom Hearts. But the man was nowhere to be seen. At the brink of giving up, he decided that he could still avoid him amazingly and almost skipped down the corridor to the lounge, to gloat about his new 'ability' to whoever was there, whether they actually paid attention meant little. Surely someone out of the other eleven members would actually be willing to listen to Xigbar. Once again, he got too caught up in his thoughts. Only this time, when he saw the Superior, it was too late for him to somehow run away; Mansex had seen him. It was the moment he had been dreading all week.
"Xigbar…is that my hair dye?" Xemnas questioned, raising himself so that Xigbar felt immensely small next to him. Xigbar refused to make eye contact. Snap out of it, he thought, you can get out of this.
"As if! What makes you think that Ma-Superior? I mean, I'd never use your hair dye dude!" Xigbar finished the sentence with an accidental nervous laugh, but he tried to convince himself that Xemnas never heard it. He was losing it fast, and he was unsure of how long he could keep his casual and relaxed posture and attitude. Hopefully, it would be long enough for him to keep out of too much trouble. If he gave himself away as guilty, then only God knows what Xemnas could do to him. Xigbar had realised over the time he had been avoiding Xemnas that there were two things that meant more to the man than anything else: Kingdom Hearts and hair dye. Xemnas slowly walked around Xigbar, examining his hair. Xigbar began to feel more and more awkward around his Superior, the silence making it even worse. The one thing worse than being yelled at by Xemnas was being given death-glares by Xemnas. As the Superior reached the other's ponytail, he checked it even more suspiciously, partly to find out if it was his hair dye, but mostly to make Xigbar feel awkward. He liked to see the always full of himself man lowered and almost scared by him. It was just Xemnas' way of reminding him who was in charge. He stopped examining and continued to walk at a glacial pace back to face Xigbar. Anyone passing through would have thought that Xigbar's life depended on what Xemnas said; the man was almost a wreck. His one visible eye had gotten inhumanly large over the course of his inspection. The scene was similar to that of a small child stealing from a sweet store and being caught by the shopkeeper.
"I knew it. It IS my hair dye, Number II!!" Xemnas yelled. Xigbar jumped visibly at the way Xemnas' voice shattered the silence between them. The silver-haired man continued to rant on.
"Do you have any idea how much that stuff costs?! Honestly, I thought you of all nobodies would know better than to go stealing from others! And especially form your Superior!" For once in his time in Organization XIII, Xigbar felt what would have been guilt if he had a heart. He stood in silence and waited for his punishment.
"For this…offence, Xigbar. You shall no longer be second in command!" Xigbar's head snapped up at that. Xemnas could not be serious.
"But
Superior, dude, you need a second in command! You said so yourself!"
Xemnas looked around quickly, trying to find another member who
suited the position.
"Umm…Saïx! You are now second in
command!" Xigbar stared in shock at the blue-haired man, who simply
raised an eyebrow at Xemnas. When the man nodded to confirm his
decision, Saïx simply shrugged with an achieved expression and ran
off to tell Demyx that his beloved puppy had been promoted. Xemnas
strode off with Xigbar still staring in shock at what has just
happened. Lexaeus (who had been there the whole time, but refused to
get involved) simply put his book down.
"I told you so." He sighed before returning back to reading something of little importance to the now demoted Xigbar.