A.N: I wrote this at 1:00 in the morning. It was just a little one-shot I made up while being harassed by six 8-week old kittens…
Dissimilar: I don't own Naruto. But, I do own 14 cats!!
………………
Ino, the notorious gossip of Konoha High School, ran through the campus until she reached her favorite lunch table, shoving many poor students to the ground while doing so.
"Oh my god, Tenten, you will not believe what happened today in History!" Ino exclaimed, running up to one of her best friends.
Tenten looked up from her Salad and French fries, he brown eyes tired.
"I highly doubt it will be very interesting," the brunette said, popping a piece of lettuce into her mouth.
"Well… you're wrong!" Ino replied, seating herself down across from the senior.
"Humor me," the exhausted teenager said. She had stayed up all night studying for an upcoming exam, which would ultimately decide what college she would go to, and she was very, very gloomy when tired.
The Blond looked very excited to share the latest piece of juicy gossip, even if it was to a half-awake, uninterested not-very-social girl.
"Okay, so I'm sitting in history, waiting for Kakashi-sensei to get his lazy-ass into the class, when…"
!!Flashback!!
Ino was sitting in History, twirling a piece of platinum blond hair around her index finger, waiting for her sensei to just come in and torture his class with boring information that none of them would use in the future.
Just as her eyelids were drooping over her sky-blue eyes, shouting drew her attention to the front of the class.
"My Lord, Sai, could you be any more fucking annoying?!" shouted the all-to familiar voice of Sakura Haruno.
Sakura was now officially the most sought-after girl at Konoha High since the curvaceous Temari graduated the previous year.
She was in every sense gorgeous, with porcelain skin, high cheek bones, full lips, long eye-lashes, and sparkling green eyes. Her vibrant pink hair-no doubt genetics gone wrong-just seemed to add to her beauty.
Anyway, back to the story.
"What Ugly, I was just stating how unattractive you are," calmly said Sai.
Sai was pretty much the second-hottest guy to ever walk the halls of the Leaf facility of learning. (The fist, of course, being Sasuke, who was rumored to make a girl come by just looking at her). He had a great face, and an awesome body, which he was not afraid to show. Especially his abs. He loved his abs. The only problem with him was his inability to feel any emotion and be a total jack-ass at most times. Well, that was two problems, but that's not the point.
"When will you stop calling me Ugly?" the pink-haired seventeen-year old asked, obviously frustrated.
"When you get plastic surgery," the pale male ((A/N: Hey, that rhymes!!)) replied smugly.
Ino made her way closer to the arguing pair, who were now surrounded by a crowd of students.
Sakura was standing, hands on hips, glaring at Sai.
Her frenemy was leaning against the windowsill, not two feet from her.
Sakura crossed her arms over her torso.
"And just what makes me so unappealing, Sai?" she asked.
"Well, for one thing, your gay hair-color," The student started. Sakura shrugged. She didn't care about people harassing her hair. She thought it was unique, in a good way.
"Then your gargantuan forehead," he continued. Sakura's eye twitched, but she soon recovered. Over the years she had grown into her forehead, and after years of taking crap about it, she didn't care anymore.
"And of coarse your inadequate boobs," Sai said, holding up three fingers to show how many imperfections she had.
"Excuse me?" Sakura said sticking out a hip and placing a hand on it, assuming the universal oh-no-you-didn't pose.
"You heard me. Your boobs are tiny," the male continued.
"My boobs are perfectly fine!" Sakura exclaimed. Indeed, they were. Ever since she turned sixteen, her chest had a growth-spurt, and she could now very well fill out a D-cup bra.
"They don't look that way to me, Miss Flaty," Sai retorted.
"What?" Sakura whispered, dangerously quite, her green eyes piercing.
'If looks could kill,' Ino thought as she and the rest off the class watched the couple in silence.
However, the bickering teens didn't notice all eyes on them.
"If someone saw you with your shirt off, they could mistake you for a bulimic ten-year old boy! I mean come on, I bet a second grader has more boobs than you do!" the handsome boy said.
"Are you saying you have a problem with my breasts?" the irritated girl asked.
"Yes, I do! There tiny!" Sai yelled, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.
And thus the shouting match began…
"They've grown since we met Sai! But I guess you're too obsessed with guys to even notice!"
"Well it wouldn't be surprising for me to be enamored with guys-which I'm not-since I the majority of female contact I've had is with you, little miss no-boobs!"
"My boobs are great, and If you can't see that, it's you loss!"
"Can't see that?! When I look at your chest, I don't see anything! I bet you don't even have to wear a training bra!" Sai finished.
"Oh yeah?" a P.Oed Sakura hissed, her green glare intensifying.
"Yeah! I bet you never have to wear a bra." Sai said confidentially.
"We'll see about that!" The normally-cheerful-but-now-infuriated girl spat, her voice rising again. And with that she grabbed both of Sai's hands and thrust them against her womanly… growths.
Sai, being the man he is, was speechless and-of course!-tightened his grip.
"Now do you think they're too small?" Sakura said, looking oddly calm for a girl who had someone's hands planted to her chest.
There was a second where and angry Sakura just glowered at Sai, and a surprised Sai stared in shock and Sakura.
Then they spontaneously crashed their mouths to each others and started making-out passionately.
No one in the room could talk. All the girls were either hating Sakura because she was making-out with Sai or thinking she was a complete slut.
All of the guys would've given their right arm, both their legs, and a lung to be in Sai's position.
It wasn't until Said had hoisted Sakura off her feet and onto the teacher's desk and they were both horizontal did someone break the silence.
"NO! SAKURA-CHAN, HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING WITH HIM!" wailed Naruto.
"Okay kids, I think that's enough," Said Kakashi.
"Whoa! Kakashi-sensei, when did you get here?" Ino asked, her brain almost shutting down from all of this surprise.
"When he told her she needed plastic surgery," the masked teacher replied.
After five minutes of trying to get the horny teens to stop making-out, Kakashi eventually shrugged.
"I give up," he said, taking a seat in a nearby chair and watching the 'show.'
!!End Flashback!!
"No. Fucking. Way." Tenten said, staring at her friend open-mouthed and wide-eyed.
"Yes fucking way," said Ino, picking up a French fry and shoving it not-so-gracefully into her mouth.
"No!"
"Yes,"
"Noo!"
"Yes!"
"No?"
"Yes."
It took exactly one minute and twenty-seven seconds for Tenten to wrap her head around the concept.
"Do lots of people know?" asked the bun-haired girl. Ino snorted.
"You kidding? This is Konoha high, news like that travels faster than the speed of light and sound combined." she said, mentally laughing at her friends' naivety.
"So what happened after?" The older girl asked.
"Well, Naruto eventually went up their pulled Sai off of and almost-shirtless Sakura and punched him in the face! Unfortunately, that was right as Tsunade walked by, and now all three of them have detention for a week. Naruto for violence and Sai and Sakura for Public display of affection," Ino explained. Both of the girls laughed. 'Public display of affection' was the understatement of the century.
"Well, gotta go spread the news to those who might not have heard," said Ino, standing up with the French fries and running across the campus screaming "Hey Hinata!"
After a minute Tenten looked down and realized something was missing…
"Ino, you bitch, get back here with my fries!" screeched the brunette, chasing after the blond.
…………
A/N: I know, I know, that probably sucked. Constructive critiscism welcome, as are compliments(duh!), but please, no flames!!
Review!! I command you!!
Actually, no, I don't… I'm just asking…