Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N: You all truly amaze me. Thank you. This is a short chapter only because I really, really want to update. I gave one of my reviewers a little bit of insider info about something I decided to include at the last minute of this chapter…please know that I wasn't lying. I just didn't get the chance to write it in the way I wanted to yet. It's definitely going to be in the next chapter. I'm going out of town for the weekend (and leaving in 20 minutes) and I didn't want to wait to update. And now that I've probably confused everyone else, I'll share…hopefully it'll make you even more excited for the next update. As a present for all of you for being so amazing, and because we all love Jasper's singing so much, it's going to make an appearance (with Edward) in the next chapter. I've been really music obsessed lately, so I'm excited to share some of the great songs I've been listening to lately with you all. Now, enjoy...

Best Definitions of Good Intentions

35 – Mistakes Become Regrets

Carlisle went to work early Tuesday morning. He'd spent much of the previous night awake, staring at the ceiling. He knew Esme was tired from the weekend, so he did his best not to disturb her, but the little sleep he'd gotten was fitful. When he climbed out of bed that morning long before his alarm was set to go off, he placed a gentle kiss on his wife's exposed shoulder and felt the tension in his muscles from all the tossing and turning.

Esme was not surprised to wake up alone. In fact, she would have guessed the night before that Carlisle would sneak off to work early. Carlisle felt most at peace when he was with his patients; he felt useful and the world made sense to him when he could help others in any way he could. The past few weeks, since they'd returned from Italy, Esme had noticed that Carlisle seemed off. She was concerned about him but knew better than approach him with her worries.

In much the same way that he was always looking out for his patients, Carlisle was looking out for everyone else. His sense of normalcy had been shaken when his best friend died, but he wouldn't allow himself to adjust his routine accordingly. He wanted to be strong for Edward – poor Edward who'd lost both his parent, and essentially his life, in the matter of moments. He wanted to provide Edward with solidarity and strength. He wanted to show Edward that life would go on just the same.

And that's where the miscommunication lay. Carlisle was trying his hardest to prove to Edward that things didn't have to change, but Carlisle didn't see that they already had changed.

Edward had changed. Now, he was trying to make a new life around that change. Life couldn't on just the same as it had before his parents were killed. Life had to be different without them. In all his grief, Edward never doubted his ability to cope without his parents. He had gone through all the typical stages. He'd been angry, he'd questioned the reasoning behind their deaths, he'd blamed himself, but at no point did he not trust that he'd build a new life. Of course, he didn't know what that life would entail and he was scared of that unknown, but he knew it would exist.

Carlisle wasn't the only one who didn't sleep well that night. With his mind racing, Edward didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to lose the thoughts he was trying to make sense of. Instead, he played note after note, song after song, on his piano, easing the thoughts from his mind. Just as Carlisle was giving up on sleep, Edward was giving in. He'd climbed into his bed and as soon as his head hit the pillow, his breathing evened out. He'd finally found peace in the realization that Carlisle needed that strength to himself; he wasn't just proving to Edward that things would carry on as normal, he was trying to convince himself.

Then and there, Edward vowed that he'd show Carlisle the change was okay. He'd show him that it was okay to adapt, that everything would be okay in the end. They could lean on each other through their grief.

Before falling asleep and allowing those last thoughts and promises to leave him, Edward's eyes danced across the room, landing on the photo of his parents. He said a quick prayer in his mind, feeling content as his consciousness washed away.

Due to the late hour of his sleep, Edward didn't wake till nearly afternoon. Alice was already gone, shopping with Bella, and Emmett had grown tired of waiting for him to wake up, opting to go to Rosalie's to help her work on her car. The air was warm and thick with the coming rain; the storm was due to come through in the late afternoon, allowing the next few days to be clear and sunny. Edward took advantage of the dry weather and worked outside.

He was outside washing his car when Jasper pulled up the long drive.

"You know it's suppose to rain this afternoon, right? That'll never stay clean," Jasper called out, flipping his baseball cap around backwards on his head. He readjusted the hat a few times before finally capturing his long, blonde hair, tucking it under the cap and behind his ears. He sat down on the steps to the front porch, idly watching Edward work.

"That's what they make a garage for," Edward said, gesturing behind him. Only a few minutes later, Edward finished. He pulled the Volvo into the garage, grabbing two bottles of root beer on his way back out. He handed one to Jasper as he took the seat next to him. "What are you doing here, anyway? Alice is out shopping with Bella."

"You want me to leave?" Jasper feigned pulling out his car keys and getting up, before laughing. He checked his watch. "Alice should be home any second now. She told me to meet her –"

Jasper didn't get the chance to finish the sentence because the sound of Alice's engine gunning up the driveway took over. In an effortless maneuver, she'd backed into the garage, next to Edward's car, leaving enough space for Emmett's on the other side. She was out of the car and hugging Jasper before Bella had even undone her seatbelt. By the time Bella made it over to the group, all eyes were on her. Unconsciously, a blush made its way to her cheeks as she ducked her head and muttered greetings.

"You look beat, Bella," Jasper commented.

"Tell your girlfriend to take it easy on me next time. We were up and in Port Angeles before nine this morning! Some of us need sleep to function," she mumbled, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to take a nap. You can wake me up in an hour."

Bella climbed the porch stairs and shouted out a greeting to Esme in the laundry room off the kitchen. She went to shut the door behind her, but realized Edward had followed her inside while Alice and Jasper retrieved the bags from the car. They climbed the stairs together in silence, but when Bella turned down the second story hall to "her" bedroom, Edward stopped and watched her. He didn't speak until she reached out her hand to push the door open further.

"You probably don't want to take a nap in there."

"Why's that?" Tired as she was, Bella had little patience.

"Esme's doing laundry. There aren't any sheets." Edward shrugged his shoulders and offered an apology before turning back to continue to his room. He heard Bella's footsteps behind him then. He turned back to look at her.

"Your room's quieter. In fact, before it was your room, I preferred it for napping," she explained.

"Well, then, by all means," Edward said, as he swept his arm to the side, allowing her to enter his room first.

She grabbed the blanket from the end his bed and wrapped it around her shoulders before lying down on the couch. Edward sat on the floor, in front of his computer. He plugged his headphones in and began to work on the piece he'd recorded the night before, when he'd first made use of his gift from Alice and Emmett.

"Edward," Bella called out, not getting his attention. She nudged him with her foot. "Edward!"

"Yes?"

Bella's eyes fluttered to the ground as she spoke shyly. "It's too quiet in here. Will you play something?" she asked, gesturing to the piano with her eyes.

"Of course," he answered automatically. He loved to play and Bella always seemed to appreciate it. And if it would help her sleep – he knew she needed it by how she currently looked.

Choosing a finished piece instead of his current project, Edward played the soft melodies as Bella's eyes drifted shut again, this time with a peaceful smile on her lips. He watched her as he played; he knew the song well enough that he didn't need to see the keys. As Bella's breath evened out and she twisted in the blanket and curled onto her side, he switched songs, melding one into the next perfectly, as though they were one and the same. They were both long songs, multiple movements long, yet he played every note, drawing out the last chord with his foot on the pedal. Quietly, he lifted his hands from the keys and moved away from the instrument.

Immediately, Bella's eyes flashed open. "You stopped."

"I thought you were sleeping."

"I was, but you stopped playing."

"Do you want me to continue?" Edward asked as Bella sat up, pulling her knees beneath her.

"No, it's alright. I suppose I'm not that tired after all."

"You look exhausted," he pointed out.

"Well, thanks," she answered, sarcastically. Then, seriously, added, "I didn't sleep well. Too much on my mind."

"About your mom?" Edward asked as he took the seat next to Bella. He sat sideways on the couch, facing Bella. She remained sitting straight ahead, her profile set in stone and she stilled herself for the coming conversation. She nodded to Edward, unsure of what she wanted to say yet. Edward asked, "What did Alice have to say?"

"I didn't –," Bella started to answer forcefully. Quieter, she said, "I didn't tell Alice."

Glad he'd gotten some sort of reaction for Bella, Edward was still taken aback by the admission. "You didn't? Why not?"

"I didn't know I was suppose to," Bella snapped. She exhaled a deep breath and set to work pulling her hair into a ponytail – anything to distract her, anything to try and dissipate her anger.

"I just thought you would have," Edward corrected, apologetically. "Why didn't you though?"

"Because I don't want to talk about it!" Bella turned now and faced Edward. He was shocked by the look in her eyes – pure determination. "Why can't everyone just let me figure this out on my own? I'd be doing a heck of a lot better if you all just left me in peace!"

"You don't mean that, Bella." Edward shook his head, stating the simple fact that he believed.

"And how would you know that? You don't know what's best for me, Edward. You barely know me. You can't know what's best for me." Her voice lost power towards the end, but it didn't matter; her words were meant more to convince herself of their truth than anything else. Bella was having a hard time heeding the advice of those around her. Everyone claimed to have her best interests at heart, and they all told her the same thing but she didn't understand how the answers could come to easily to everyone else but her.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that…I just…I'm sorry, Bella. I just…," Edward did his best to stammer out an apology, while Bella stood from the couch.

"It's alright, Edward. I'm just going to go find Alice. I need to get home soon anyway. I'll see you tomorrow."

Edward nodded, cursing himself as Bella walked out the door. He was always saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, when it came to Bella. When would he learn he couldn't trust his instincts? Her reactions always surprised him; he never knew how she would take even the simplest of words. Things were always so difficult between him and Bella. Most of the time, Edward chalked that up to the fact that they both had short nerves these days, which was completely understandable. He just wished there was a way they could get past it.

Mind racing, Edward had trouble sleeping again that night. He was so tired by the time he fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning that he didn't wake until hours after the others had already left for the beach. He threw on a dark pair of swim trunks and pulled a plain white t-shirt over his head before grabbing his sunglasses and sprinting down the stairs. On the kitchen table were Alice's keys and a note.

Sorry we left without you. Jasper drove Bella and me, so feel free to take my car, since you just cleaned yours. Jasper says bring your guitar. See you soon!

Edward hurried back upstairs to grab his guitar per Jasper's request and was out the door moments later. Alice had packed everything for the trip the previous afternoon with Bella, so there was nothing else that Edward needed to bring. Emmett was in charge of bringing the football and Frisbee and if Jasper was going to resort to playing music, then Edward was sure he wouldn't get bored during the course of the day. Emmett had been a bit apprehensive about going and hanging out with Jacob and his friends, but since Alice and Bella were going to be there, he figured it couldn't be all that bad.

As he turned onto the highway, Edward relished in the purr of the engine as he pushed the pedal to the floor. Alice's Porsche didn't drive as smoothly as his Volvo, in his opinion, but the way the car hugged the road and slide through the turns, Edward could understand why Alice enjoyed her car. It definitely satisfied that need for speed.

A/N: This chapter title comes from one of my most recent obsessions – "Show Me What I'm Looking For" by Carolina Liar.