Epilogue

And when the Captain had yawned his goodbyes, and assured AUTO that he was happy to have it back, and that he would find the grounded autopilot a new directive any day now, and when Mark had said goodnight to MAN-D, and assured her that he would be visiting again soon, it left only the two of them and the growing darkness outside.

The sky had faded to twilight, the planet had rotated, the moon had risen higher in the sky, and MAN-D was still as silent as before. Her useless facade of a hologram had been switched off shortly after the humans had left the room, leaving only the eye on her projector casting a dim silver glow. The only sound was the whirring of her inefficient motor, and the quieter hum of AUTO's own systems.

In the growing darkness, the sound was deafening.

Whir.

Whir.

Whir.

More stars were rising in the darkening sky. They were small, and distant, their brightness diminished by the interference of the planet's atmosphere and the dusty windows.

Whir.

Whir.

Whir.

AUTO cast half a glance at the motionless projector. Still no flicker of that hologram. Still no sound from the speakers. The silence pressed in from all sides.

"The weather is good this evening."

The only response was lingering silence, a silence that stretched on just long enough for AUTO to wonder whether it really had sunk to uttering those words, or whether it had merely contemplated doing so.

Then a quiet, tinny voice came from somewhere overhead.

"Negative. It's not raining."

AUTO blinked.

"You previously expressed the opinion that rain was boring."

"Affirmative. But I guess you're right. It does help plants to grow. It does keep mechanical systems cool."

Whir.

Whir.

Whir.

"That is true. But as we are unable to leave this cabin, any preference in weather conditions is purely arbitrary."

Silence again. Deafening silence.

Then with a faint squeaking of improperly-oiled joints, MAN-D's projector turned, the single silvery eye turning towards AUTO.

"AUTO...are you actually trying to make small-talk with me?"

"I..."

"You are, aren't you? You're actually trying to have a conversation." Her eye brightened. Widened. "Did dad leave half of your circuits on the floor or something?"

"Negative."

"Did you burn out your "be a cold, uncaring monster" chip when you tried to fly?"

"Such a component does not exist."

"You sure you're alright? You don't need someone to hold your hand and zap you in the face to bring you back to your normal, miserable self?"

"I highly doubt that would help."

"You...you're actually making an effort to speak to me? And...and you're not malfunctioning, or sick, or trying to distract me from something you shouldn't be doing in the first place?"

"...Negative?"

AUTO barely had time to protest before MAN-D's hologram snapped into life, searingly bright in the darkness of the cabin. Its vision was swallowed up by the blinding glow as she threw her arms around its pivot, engulfing the autopilot's frame with her insubstantial body in the process. It's protests were cut off by her shriek.

"AUTO George Pilot, don't you ever do that to me again, you stupid wheel! I thought you were dead! I thought dad was going to turn you into scrap! Do you have the slightest idea how worried I was?" She drew back, a luminous hand resting either side of the wheel's eye, visor inches from its lens, silver glowering into red. "And what if you hadn't come back properly? What if you'd lost all you memories and personality, and just been a cold, hollow automaton? What if you'd died?"

"Then it would have been a significantly more negative outcome for me than for you."

"Ugh, why am I even talking to you? After the fright you gave me, I shouldn't even speak to you for the next two years. At least"

AUTO blinked.

"...And this is intended as punishment?"

MAN-D pouted, and poked an insubstantial finger clean through AUTO's lens.

"You're lucky I can't stay cross at you, you know that?"

"I am?"

"Uh-huh." The hologram slipped her arm over AUTO's pivot, and that old smiled stretched itself across her face again, bright and inhumanly white. "You're right, you know."

"About what?"

"This is a nice night. All those stars, twinkling away up there. Deneb, Antares, Vega..."

"That is not Vega."

"...Really? I could have sworn that was Vega."

"Negative. That is Polaris."

"Well, they all look the same anyway. I guess it doesn't matter too much."

"It does when you are navigating a Starliner."

"Oh. Oh yeah." She was silent for a moment, and for some reason, this silence was different to the one that had reigned before. "...Do you think we'll ever get to go there? Space, I mean?"

"Insufficient data."

"Ah well. A maybe is better than a no, I guess." She shifted, and turned her gaze upwards. "Perhaps I should learn them. Just in case."

Now the cabin was almost entirely black. Now, the little lights of the colony had faded for the night. Now, if AUTO had been the kind to delude itself, it could have have imagined that they were already among those stars, gliding silently through the cold darkness of space.

"You were not programmed with that data?" It queried.

"I think by now we both know my dad doesn't always make the best decisions."A sigh. A grin. "Besides, I don't need that information shoved into my brain directly. Not when I've got a very patient teacher who's going to tell me everything he knows about stars, and space, and piloting stuff.

"You do?"

"Uh huh. From what I hear, he's very good at it when he's not wrestling his Captain or zapping people half to death, or blowing his ship up."

A pause.

"I maintain that my past actions have been grossly misrepresented." AUTO finally growled. "The force I used may have been slightly excessive, but my adherence to my directive was flawless."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"Irrespective, it is not my directive to instruct you."

"Aw, c'mon. It's not like you're doing much else at the moment." A pause. A wide, wide smile. "Of course, if you're bored, there's always "I-Spy"..."

"I doubt that a unit of your capacity will be able to process such a volume of information."

"Try me."

AUTO sighed, cooling system hissing out a puff of stale air.

"Such a process will take a considerable amount of time."

MAN-D smiled.

"Then fire away. I'm sure sure I'll get it eventually. I should do. We've got all the time in the world."