So, I'm a little obsessed with the New Moon soundtrack right now. I don't know how these movies manage to get such a great collection of songs in them. The Twilight soundtrack was exponentially better than the movie itself. Both soundtracks are excellent.

Oh, and by the way, the poem at the beginning of the last chapter was "The Second Coming" by William Butler Yeats. I noticed I forgot to credit that genius. xD

This chapter's a bit longer than the last one. Enjoy! :)

Chapter Nine: Promises and Apologies

How much pain has cracked your soul?
How much love would make you whole?
You're my guiding lightning strike.
-Muse

Kora

I followed Keith into his house, which was already filled to the brim with people. Literally. They were falling out the front door. It was seriously claustrophobic to push my way through such a tightly packed group of people. Keith kept a hold of my wrist with one hand while the other held the largest case of beer I ever saw. I cringed when the scent of alcohol and sweat hit my senses. It was going to be a long night.

"So, what can I get you to drink, babe?" I wish he'd stop calling me that.

"Um, just a water, if you have it," I said. He frowned, clearly not happy that I wasn't in the mood for any alcoholic beverages, but went to the fridge and dug around in it for a second before handing me a bottle of Poland Springs. I quickly cracked the seal and took a long drink from it to clear the cotton from my mouth. "Now what?"

"Now what!" Keith repeated, then laughed and put his arm around my shoulders. I cringed openly, but he didn't seem to notice. "Now, we start having fun! C'mon, let's go find Tim and the guys."

"Oh, great," I said, blandly. "Tim and the guys."

We made our way through the kitchen and into what looked like it used to be a living room but now was mostly just a place for people to dance. Although, the dancing looked a lot more like fornicating to me. But that's just my opinion. We pushed through the crowd of writhing bodies and I held my breath the entire way until we broke out on the other side where the couch had been pushed up against the wall. Tim and a few of his buddies were sitting on it, each with a girl perched on his lap. Tim's lap was occupied by Michelle, who sneered at me as we approached and adjusted her prissy glasses.

"Kora?" Tim said, sounding surprised to see me. I didn't blame him. I was surprised I was there, too.

"Yep," I said, taking another drink from my water bottle.

"What are you doing here?"

"My mom made me come." That was what I wanted to say. What I actually said was, "Standing."

"That's a good point," Keith said, and seemingly produced a kitchen chair out of absolutely nowhere. He sat down and patted his lap. "Feel free to take a load off."

"Tempting," I said, resisting the urge to make a face. "But I'll pass."

Keith frowned. "Why?"

"I like standing." Had I actually liked standing, it would've been a very good thing, seeing as I spent the majority of the next hour standing there and repeatedly refusing Keith's advances. He seemed to get frustrated after my thirty-fifth refusal to dance with him and disappeared into the crowd. I sighed and considered calling Jacob to come and get me for the umpteenth time. But I couldn't call him. He already had some weird idea that I couldn't take care of myself at a party. No need to reinforce it. Really, I'd been to plenty of parties before my dad…

The point is, I've been to parties, and I know that the main goal of any guy at one of these parties was to get a girl as drunk as possible and then get her somewhere alone so he could…well, there's really no need to go into detail there.

"Kora, I need to talk to you," Tim said, dumping Michelle out of his lap. She protested loudly but he ignored her, opting to grab my arm and lead me along the wall to the open back door where his friends couldn't overhear us. "You need to be careful around Keith. He's really not the nice guy he pretends to be."

I looked at him blankly. "You think I don't know that?"

"Well, I don't know." Tim sighed. "It's just he…he's made a habit out of picking out a girl at these things, making her feel all special, getting her completely smashed, and then…you know." He gave me a meaningful look.

"Oh, I know," I replied. "I've been to parties before, Tim. Besides…" I held up my empty water bottle. "I'm not drinking tonight. I don't like drinking, really." There was no reason to add that drugs and alcohol tended to mess me up even worse because of what I was. The distortion of nature in alcohol didn't agree with my blood. One beer for me was like six shots of tequila for a normal girl my size. And drugs were purely chemical. I reacted to those even worse. It was why I couldn't take anything to help me sleep at night. I just had to deal with the night terrors. Although, I hadn't had very many of them this week. Not since…

Well, not since Jacob.

"There you are!" Keith's voice was so loud in my ear it made me jump. "I've been looking all over for you!" What a coincidence, I thought. I've been all over trying to avoid you. I suppressed a smirk. My sarcasm seemed to be returning. What was happening to me? "I brought you another water." He shoved it into my hands, taking the empty bottle from me and tossing it casually over his shoulder. "Didn't want you to get dehydrated or anything."

"Gee, thanks," I muttered, unscrewing the cap and taking a swig.

"What were you guys talking about?" Keith asked, eyeing Tim suspiciously.

"Nothing," Tim said, too quickly. I sighed.

"Tim wanted my advice about something," I said, far more convincingly. "Nothing too important." I shrugged and took another long drink. Was it getting hotter? Maybe Keith was right about the dehydration thing. I chugged down half the bottle.

"So…you change your mind about that dance?" Keith asked, hopefully.

"Hmm…yeah," I answered, to all three of our surprise…es?

"Yeah?" Tim and Keith both said.

I sighed. "Did I stutter?"

"Not at all, baby," Keith said. He grabbed my wrist and led me out into the sea of merging bodies, pulling me close as he swayed to the beat. "This isn't so bad, huh?"

"Um…" I blinked. It was even hotter on the dance floor. "I think that guy is sweating on me." I took a drink from my water bottle and scrunched up my face. "I'm hot."

"You certainly are," he replied. Smooth.

"No, I mean it's really hot in here." I chugged down what was left of my water and the bottle promptly slipped through my fingers. "Whoa."

"What's wrong, babe?" Keith asked.

"I'm kinda dizzy." I looked around at the people whose faces blurred around me. "And hot. Why is it so hot all of a sudden?"

"I dunno," Keith said. "I should get you out of here. I think you really are dehydrated."

"But I had so much water."

"Yeah." He started leading me out of the crowd.

"Like, soooo much water."

"I know, babe." He paused. "I just had a great idea. How about I run you a cool bath. Would that make you feel better?"

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't wanna take my clothes off."

"Of course not, baby. You can keep your clothes on." I thought about that for a second before nodding. A cool bath sounded pretty grood. I mean good. Great. Great and good.

Keith had to practically drag me up the stairs because I was so dizzy. When we got to the landing, he led me over to the bathroom door and pulled me in before shutting it behind him. I looked around, blinking, and felt confused as I took in the rock posters on the walls and the bed in the corner. "Keith, this isn't the bathroom."

"No, it's not."

I turned around to look at him. "Why isn't this the bathroom?"

Keith smiled. "Because it's my bedroom, baby."

"Yeah, but why?"

"Come on," he said, walking towards me. "You know why." And that was when he grabbed my shoulders and pressed his mouth to mine.

I shoved him away. "What are you doing!?"

"It's time to stop playing hard-to-get, Kora. It's not entertaining anymore." He grabbed me again, this time trying to force his tongue into my mouth. I bit it. Hard. "Augh!" He jumped back, slapping one hand over his mouth. "You bitch!" He slapped me, and I fell to the ground. Keith was on top of me before I could even figure out how I'd gotten on the floor. His hands found their way up my shirt, clawing at my skin. "Just hold still!"

"No!" I beat my fists against his shoulders and chest. "Get off me! GET OFF!"

The door burst open, slamming into the wall. "What the fuck?" Tim said. I never thought I'd be so happy to hear that voice. He grabbed Keith by the collar and yanked him off of me. "Get off her." Tim came to help me up and I wondered what was keeping Keith away. I got my answer when I saw Tim's two loyal henchmen standing by the door, arms crossed and glaring at Keith. "Are you all right, Kora?"

"Uh huh," I mumbled.

"She is my cousin," Tim snapped at Keith. "She may be kind of weird and bitchy but hell if I'm gonna let you do something like this to her!"

"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically, pushing away from him. "I think I'm gonna just…I'm gonna go…" I stumbled towards the door and Tim caught my shoulder. I shook him off. "I'm fine!"

"No, you're not," Tim said.

"I got it from here." I made it to the door. "I don't need your help, damn it!" I heard Tim calling after me as I made my way down the hall, leaning heavily against the wall. Hehe. That kind of rhymed. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. The music drowned him out once I made it down the stairs, somehow managing not to fall down them. I pushed through the crowd that seemed to swirl and morph around me. It was like they were trying to trap me. I don't want to be trapped. I burst through the other side and stumbled out the back door, ignoring the complaints of a few people I bumped into, causing their drinks to spill.

I headed for the woods. My final thread of connection to reality. I measured my progress by the length between the trees I had to lean against. I knew I had to call someone, but who? Jacob, the voice in the back of my head advised. No, not him. Somebody else…

I called Kim. She answered on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Kim!" I blurted. "Kimmyyyy, oh boy did I mess up biiiiig time, you're not gonna believe it!" I giggled.

"Kora, slow down and tell me what's going on."

"It was hot, but there was water, and then I drank it all up but it wasn't just water I guess because now I'm in the woods."

"What? I can't understand you."

What was she talking about? I sounded perfectly clear. "The water in the crowd and the guy was sweating and it was real icky."

"Where are you, Kora?" Kim asked evenly. "Are you still at the party?" Didn't I already tell her I'm in the woods?

"I'm sleepy, Kim." I collapsed to the ground and turned over to look at the stars. "Soooo sleepy," I sighed, closing my eyes and falling into blackness.

…………………………

Jacob

I dove for the woods, ignoring the sound of my pants and shoes ripping apart. Some small voice in the back of my mind muttered, There goes another set. I ignored it. All I could afford to concentrate on at that moment was finding Kora. I had no idea where she was.

Start at Keith's, we can pick up her scent and go from there, Quil's voice suggested in my head. Then, We'll find her, Jake.

I didn't answer, knowing he would understand my inability to form an understandable response. My head was spinning, my stomach clenched with pure terror. My paws on the forest floor beat out a chorus of her name. Kor-a. Kor-a. Kor-a. I guess there was no way for me to deny my attachment to her anymore, especially after tonight. Plus, I'd spent the rest of the week getting to know as much about her as possible and come to find I like her more and more with each little thing I learn. I don't love her, though. I know that much. My heart's still heavy with the weight of Bella's betrayal—and also, the weight of continuing to yearn for her no-longer beating heart.

But with Kora, there was still something there. Some strong kind of parallel to love that I didn't quite understand. It pulsed in my chest like a second heartbeat, harmonizing her name with my paws pounding on the ground.

I had to force myself to slow down as I neared Keith's house. I circled around back, sticking to the shadow of the woods and eyeing the overflow of people into the back yard. They were all heavily intoxicated. I watched one girl double over to puke on her friend's shoes. I turned my head away. That's when it hit me; the familiar, slightly sweet scent of the girl I was supposed to protect. How could I have let this happen? I followed the trail slowly, wary that if she had passed out, she would be lying on the ground. I had to be careful. Please, I thought. Let her be okay.

Her scent got stronger, so I knew I was heading in the right direction. It really worried me that she had for some reason gone tramping deep into the woods. It was dangerous enough during normal times, but lately, with those bloodsuckers lurking around…

I caught sight of her, lying in a patch of moonlight. I bolted to her side and crouched down to nudge her head with my muzzle. Her phone was lying next to her. She must have just passed out in the middle of talking to Kim. I growled. Keith must've been feeding her beer after beer for this to happen. I nudged her face again and whined when I didn't get a response.

I'm on my way, Quil said at the back of my mind.

I lay down and rested my head on Kora's stomach, just to feel the rise and fall and be sure she was breathing. I closed my eyes, silently cursing my haste and my resulting lack of pants. I had to get her somewhere safe. Kim's, maybe. Or Sam's.

Kora sighed and I felt the weight of her hand on my head. I felt a burst of happiness at the small sign of life. I lifted my head too fast and her hand fell away. I was slightly disappointed. I kind of liked the way her fingers felt in my fur. Her eyes fluttered and opened about halfway, looking up at me with a dazed and confused expression.

"Hullo, there," she giggled. "What big ears you have." I whined. She was acting so strange, and was obviously wasted. "And what a big nose you have." She reached out to touch my face and I leaned into it, nuzzling her hand. At least she was awake and talking, even if it was mostly some fairy tale nonsense. I was glad to see her moving. She smiled. "Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?"

The leaves rustled nearby and I immediately jumped up, adopting a defensive stance and growling at the intruder. Quil walked out from behind a tree with his hands up.

"Easy, Jake," he said. "It's just me." I looked down at Kora. She was out again. I lay back down beside her as Quil knelt down to check her pulse and breathing. "She seems all right, but I'm gonna have to pick her up and carry her back to Sam's, okay?" I gave him a small grunt of agreement and watched as he carefully worked his arms under her back and knees, lifting her up into his arms. Seeing him holding her so close did weird things to my insides. I had to remind myself that it was just Quil, and that I trusted him and he was only doing what he had to do to keep her safe.

I still felt oddly jealous following him through the woods towards Sam's. Part of me wished I was the one carrying her, acting the knight in shining armor or whatever. Plus, it would've given me something to concentrate on other than the burning desire to rip somebody's throat out. Every time I looked at her limp frame hanging from Quil's arms, I wanted to run back to that damn party and tear them all to pieces. Reuben for doing this to her, and the rest of them for letting it happen.

The rest of me just felt guilty, because no matter what happened, or who I tried to blame, it all came down to the fact that I should have been there. I should've protected her from this. I shouldn't have allowed this to happen. My responsibility—my reason for being—was to keep her safe and happy, and I couldn't even do that right. I failed.

No wonder Bella left me.

And happiness was an entirely different story. I felt completely helpless in the face of what she'd suffered. When she'd told me how she'd seen her father's dead body with her own eyes, the guilt settled in like a ton of cement in the pit of my stomach. Why hadn't I been there to protect her from that, too? It didn't matter that I hadn't known her then, because when I thought of what I had been doing while she was suffering… Let's just say gallivanting around Canadian forests didn't seem quite important enough to take precedence.

I wish I'd been there to shield her from that traumatizing experience. But I wasn't, and I had to work with what I'd been given. Kora came to me broken and bleeding, and I would just have to find some way to put her back together again. It was going to take time, I knew that, but it had to be done. I couldn't protect her from things that already happened, but I could damn well try my hardest to fix her, and keep her from getting hurt again. Because—(and this hit me like the first time I ever shifted)—Kora is my reason for breathing. She is why I exist. I am here so I can be what she needs me to be, and right now, she needs someone to look out for her, since her mother doesn't seem interested and her cousin is useless. She needs me. Regardless of my failure tonight, I will keep her safe. No matter what.

I pressed my nose into the palm of her hand, dangling behind Quil's back. I promise.

When we finally got to Sam's, I had to wait in the woods until Emily could scrounge up an extra pair of shorts for me. Jared brought them out to me, which told me Kim was probably still around. I was glad. Kim liked Kora a lot, so she was probably inside fussing over her already. I should be fussing over her. I shifted quickly and pulled on the khaki shorts, buttoning them as I approached the house.

"Where is she?" I asked as soon as I'd walked in the kitchen door.

"Living room couch," Jared replied. I started to walk past him, but he held up a hand to stop me. "Wait, Jake." I gave him an irritated look.

"What?"

"There's something you should know."

"What, Jared?"

"Something Quil noticed."

"Is there a point here, or are you wasting my time on purpose?" I crossed my arms and glared from him to Quil and back. I needed to go into the living room and start taking care of Kora like I should've been all along.

"Well, I just noticed her breath doesn't smell," Quil said, carefully.

I stared at him, blankly. "I'm still waiting for the punch line."

"Meaning," Quil continued hastily, "it doesn't smell like alcohol." I stared at him some more, as what he was getting at slowly began to make sense. "So, she probably hasn't had anything to drink tonight. Or at least not nearly enough to make her pass out like that."

I felt my hands curl into fists. "Are you saying she's been drugged?"

"We're just saying it's a highly probable possibility," Quil said.

A shiver of heat ran down my spine. I didn't want to believe it. Feeding her alcohol was one thing, but slipping her some kind of…date rape drug was another level entirely. Oh, God, I thought as the full implication of what I'd just realized became clear. What if she's been…? The shaking started in my hands and spread to the rest of my body. I thought I'd gained control of this, but the fire raging in the pit of my stomach was so powerful.

"I'm going to kill him," I said, my voice low.

"Who, Jake?" Jared asked warily.

"Anyone. Everyone. Every single person at that damn party. Reuben, that son of a…" I growled viciously. "If he touched her…"

"Jake," Quil said, grabbing my shoulders. "You need to calm down."

"I'll kill him."

"Jake."

"I'll tear him apart."

"Jake!"

"Starting with his arms."

"Jake, you're not frickin' Beowulf, all right? You need to calm down!"

I leveled my eyes on Quil for the first time since I started imagining the many wonderful deaths of Keith Reuben. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go back there and rip his head off." Quil opened and closed his mouth a few times before he seemed to decide on an argument. Instead of talking, he grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the living room doorway, pointing definitively to the couch. Kora was laid out with her head resting on a pillow. Kim was in the process of tucking a blanket around her and Emily was dabbing her pale and sweating face with a washcloth. I took several deep breaths as the scene quickly sobered me up.

"Good enough reason for you, Jake?" Quil asked quietly. "Take care of her. I know you want to. We'll figure the rest of it out later, when she's better and can tell us what happened."

"What if she doesn't remember?" I said.

"Then we interrogate Keith, and if you want you can rip his arms off and hang them above the door, but for now…" He motioned into the room, but it wasn't necessary. I was already moving, walking forward, falling to my knees beside her.

"I'll do that," I said softly, taking the washcloth from Emily. She smiled and nodded, resting a reassuring hand on my shoulder before standing up and leaving the room. I felt Kim's eyes on me before she left, but I looked only at Kora, not wanting to see the concern directed at me. Looking at Kora's face, framed by the strands of hair liberated from her braids just to get stuck to her cheeks and forehead, the guilt ripped through me anew.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her unresponsive ears. "I'm so sorry."