Disclaimer; I am one thirteen year old girl. CLAMP is four grown women. Last I checked, this didn't add up to me owning Tsubasa. Sorry.

A Nightmare

Pain lanced through the wizard's body. Blinding, white hot pain with no outlet, reminding him of what he'd done, of what he had chosen. His breath caught in his throat. He could have prevented this. He should have prevented it. It was all his fault. The mage forced himself to look away from the body in his arms.

"No…" he muttered softly, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Please God, no…"

"To what God do you pray, Fai?" a cold voice whispered to him. "What God would want you? Who would ever want you after everything you've done?"

The magician didn't move, his gaze returning to the lifeless body he still held.

"Kuro-sama," he muttered, slowly running his hand across the ninja's cheek.

"He didn't want you," the voice hissed. "He never wanted anything to do with you. After all, you were just an annoying little bug to him, clinging to him at every turn, never giving him a moment's peace. If anything, he would have been gladdest if you died."

"NO!" Fai cried, looking around for the source of the strange voice. "No, you're wrong! Kuro-rin didn't hate me! He… he…"

"He what?" the voice snapped - his own voice, the mage realized with a shock. "Loved you? Fool. No one ever loved you. Not your parents, not Ashura, not even yourself. The only one to ever care about you was Fai, and you killed him, didn't you? Didn't you, Yuui?!"

"I… I…" his voice died in his throat. Everything he was saying was true, after all. And who could win an argument against themselves? He knew that no one cared about him, least of all Kurogane, that the only reason he kept him around was so he could kill him himself one day. Except that that day would never come, now.

"Fool," the voice hissed suddenly. "You honestly believe he cared about you enough even for that? He kept you around so that the brats wouldn't cry! But now they're all dead, aren't they? And it's all. Your. Fault."

"No…" Fai whispered again, clutching Kurogane's body to his chest. "No… I… I never meant for this to happen…"

"But it did! And why? Because you were too weak to protect them. You're too weak to protect yourself," the voice whispered. "So why do you remain alive?"

The magus didn't answer. He couldn't. After all, there was no reason to argue with himself anymore. Everything he had said was true. It was all his fault, because he was weak, too weak, and he put everyone he cared about in danger and then relied on them to get him out of trouble.

"I'm a burden," he whispered to himself, tightening his grip on the ninja's body. "I'm a burden and a fool, and because of me, Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan and Kuro-tan-"

"They're dead," the voice finished. "Because of you. Just like everything else that happened, this is your fault."

All his fault.

--

Kurogane groaned as he sat up, glancing at the alarm clock beside his bed. Cursing the earliness of the hour, the swordsman immediately set out to find what had woken him up and make sure it never had a chance to do so again. Of course, he might end up getting in trouble for it later… but he'd deal with that when the time came.

Fortunately, he found the source of his early awakening rather quickly. Unfortunately, it was the mage and his stupid nightmares. Again.

Sighing, he shook the mage roughly, causing him to whimper and curl into a ball. This is new, Kurogane thought to himself, annoyed - not worried, never worried - that he was still asleep. Normally he wakes up, not curls into a ball.

"Kuro… sama…" the ninja heard Fai mumble. With a shock the swordsman realized that the magus was crying, and had a pillow clutched to his chest as if he were defending it from something…

No, Kurogane realized with a shock. As if it's someone dear to him…

He had seen people do something similar before, of course. He was a ninja, how could he have not? But there was a desperation in the mage's face that confused - again, definitely not worried - him. Well, whatever the reason, the fool had to be woken up before he started sleep walking.

"Hey, mage," the ninja said roughly, shaking him again. "Wake up."

Fai curled up into an even tighter ball, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed silently, a result, almost certainly, of him not wanting to worry anyone.

"Mage," the swordsman repeated, shaking him harder. "Mage!"

No response other than an increase in tears and curling even tighter. Taking a deep breath, Kurogane realized it was time for a different tactic. Leaning over so his mouth was directly above the magician's ear, he whispered softly, "Fai, you have to wake up now."

The magician let out a strangled sob.

"Kurogane… I'm… I'm so sorry…" he muttered. A feeling of dread washed over the ninja as he placed one hand on the mage's forehead, checking for signs of a fever. There were none. But he'd used his real name. Which meant something bad had happened. And it wasn't hard to figure out what.

"Fai, I'm fine," the ninja whispered. "But you have to get up, now, or ou might not know that."

The mage didn't respond for several minutes, but after a moment the ninja saw his eyes open slightly and gaze at him for a moment before the wizard was convinced what he was seeing was real and sat up quickly, running his hand over the swordsman's face.

"K-Kuro-chan?" he asked in a bewildered voice. "You're okay!"

"Of course I am," the ninja growled, standing up and stretching. "Why wouldn't I be? The only thing that happened was you waking me up with your stupid crying."

The magician grinned and lay back down, wiping off some of the sweat that had gathered on his forehead.

"Yeah… I guess so," he agreed. "Fai-mommy's sorry. Was Daddy tired from working so hard for his children today?"

Kurogane growled, a vein throbbing in his temple.

"I told you not to call me that," he warned, grabbing a clean shirt and pulling off the one he was wearing. "And that was yesterday, dumbass, it's four thirty."

"Oh, Daddy woke Mommy up early so they could spend some time together!" the magus teased as the taller man pulled on his shirt and turned to glare menacingly at him. "But you could have just said so, silly Kuro-woof."

The ninja chose to ignore this, plopping back down on his bed and closing his eyes. With any luck he'd get some sleep before the kid woke up and decided to get the feather hunt over with. He had almost succeeded when he felt something warm and slender snuggle up to his side. Opening one eye, the swordsman glared at the intruder.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, mage?" he asked, trying - rather half-heartedly, he had to admit - to push him away. "I'm not cuddling with you."

"Please?" the mage muttered, burying his face in the ninja's side. "Just in case I have any more nightmares?"

"No," the ninja said immediately, trying again - still half-heartedly - to shove him away. "Why don't you ask the manjuu?"

There was no response, and I took a moment for the aggravated ninja to realize that the wizard had fallen asleep. Sighing, Kurogane settled back on his pillows. He didn't see any real reason to fight the magician just then - he was tired, and it was fairly cold, now that he thought about it. He'd del with the kids' questions in the morning. For now, he was perfectly happy to get some sleep.

A/N; So? How was it? Good? Bad? Reviews please? Chapter 2 is on it's way, I promise, I'll have it up by one thirty.