I just want to say thank you for continually reading, reviewing and adding this story to your favourites. I mean, it's literally been years since I have been here. This story has been rolling around, but life... it has this way of doing things. I hope you enjoy this chapter

You Don't Take Coffee with Sugar

Chapter 7

This is My Face:
Covered in Freckles

-DECEMBER Winter Break—

Izzy opened his eyes. The frost covered window stung his brain as he tugged the warm blankets around his neck. He didn't like being cold. Sighing he closed his eyes tight knowing that the first day of winter break meant a movie that he didn't want to attend.

He was worried about the movies. A rock was weighing his stomach down and stopped him from getting out of bed. He didn't mind. Izzy, like always, was over thinking the whole movie ordeal. He was unsure of what to wear, where to sit, what to say, what to eat and if he should even eat anything. He wondered if he should get the same thing as Tai, but then assumed it would seem silly if he did.

'What if gets what I want?' Izzy thought letting his fingers feel the fabric of his sheets. He debated between who he should talk to more: Tai or Olivia? Izzy pondered about sitting in the middle and also thought about what would happen if Olivia sat in the middle. A surge of jealousy stormed through his body leaving behind a faint tingly feeling. He knew he would be jealous of her if she sat beside Tai. Izzy was also uncertain of how comfortable Olivia will be around Tai since he always made a fool of himself in front of Olivia.

'What if she likes that?' Izzy bit his lip in thought.

Izzy muffled a low annoyance through a pillow and decided to get up. He padded to his window and looked at the light snow flaking down from the sky. The streets were lightly coated with the powdery fluff and the footsteps on the streets were growing faint.

Izzy pushed himself away from the window. He walked out of room towards the bathroom, and grabbed the towel hanging off the back of the door. The shower spurted as he made it the temperature he desired.

He let the warm water run over his hands before stepping into the stream of water. He let it flow through his hair and down the front and back of his body. His eyes clenched closed and thoughts of Tai entered his mind. Thoughts of sitting at the theatre and holding Tai's hand, how Tai wouldn't pull away, but actually squeeze his back tightly with affection.

Izzy let a small sigh escape his lips. The imagination of Tai's hands venturing to his knee made Izzy's member twitch slightly. He could sense himself becoming aroused. He closed his eyes tighter and the movie theatre disappeared around him. They were now on a couch in his living room. He could smell the fresh coffee, see the sun filtering through the window, and feel the softness of the couch. Izzy pressed a hand flat against the shower wall in front of him and felt himself growing harder.

Tai's hand was rubbing the inside of his thigh as he shifted closer to him. Soft lips grazed his cheek. Izzy let his hand slide down to his penis and began stoking it gently. Behind closed eyes Tai was ravishing him. Izzy breathed harder as he pumped faster. He moaned and leaned harder into shower wall, the water pelting against his back. Tai's lips, his hands, his tongue- he was everywhere. Izzy gave one last moan and came hard. He opened his eyes and watched the last of his seed get washed down the drain. He cleared his throat and rubbed water on his face. Izzy finished his shower, trying to tell himself that what just happened wasn't weird.

'If he only knew..." Izzy whispered remorsefully as he stepped out of the tub. He wrapped the fuzzy towel around his waist and headed back to his bedroom. He was embarrassed about what had just happened and his thoughts. He shook the towel through his hair to dry it and then got dressed for the day. He wore loose khaki's and a dark blue plaid long-sleeved button up shirt with a black shirt underneath.

He looked at the clock. 9:03am. It was hours before he was to meet Tai and Olivia at the theatre. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to go. 9:04. He didn't want to go.

Izzy did what he always did. He sat down at the kitchen table with coffee and books and began to read. He knew that every other teenage was out enjoying the first Saturday of winter break and here he was reading Thomas Pynchon.

The opening of the door signaled that it was close to 6pm. His mother's keys hit the bowel as she dropped them. She walked behind her son and patted him on the back.

'What is that you're reading?' she asked sweetly and investigated the cover. 'Gravity's Rainbow? That's some heavy reading for a holiday' she kissed the top of his head and headed into the kitchen.

'I just wanted to read something that wasn't for school for once' he replied quietly as his eyes continued to scan the pages.

'I thought you were going to do the dishes!' his mother said loudly from the kitchen.

'Sorry' he replied, absentmindedly. He could hear the dishes clanging in the kitchen, but he was soon drawn into the passages.

I dream that I have found us both again,
With spring so many strangers' lives away,
And we, so free,
Out walking by the sea,
With someone else's paper words to say...

The phone ringing brought Izzy out of his daze and he continued staring at the page, but listening rather than reading. He heard his mother's feet pat to the phone and pick it up. Typical conversation and then, 'Koushiro!' He rose from the table as if he knew the phone was for him.

'Yes?' he said putting the phone to his ear. He watched his mother smile lovingly at him and then receded back into the kitchen.

'Koushiro! Hi!' Olivia's voice was like honey and sunshine. She sounded very excited. Izzy's mouth went dry and his hands became clammy. The knot that had been growing in his stomach was wrecking havoc on his insides. She began asking questions: where to meet, what to do before, after, what movie!?

'Um, Olivia...' he interjected. 'I' he paused and cleared his throat. His heart was beating. 'I don't want to go' he finally blurted out. The glow from her voice faded. 'I'm sorry' he said.

'I don't understand?' she said, her voice crumbling.

'I didn't want to do this...I don't want to hurt you, but I didn't want to go. I'm sorry' he hung up the phone and stared at it. His stomach was sick, his mouth was dry and his heart was beating so fast he was sure his mother could hear.

And we, so free,
Out walking by the sea

The lines floated through his brain. '... out walking by the sea'. He walked to his room and shut the door, leaving his mother looking quizzically at his door.

'Did I do the right thing?' he replayed the scenario over and over in his head and it was the right thing. Wasn't it? Then why did he have this discomfort in his stomach. He flopped on his bed, curled up on his side and faced the wall. His breathing eventually slowed and he dozed off.

Izzy woke to a tight grip on his arm. His eyes fluttered open and it took several seconds for his eyes to adjust to the darkness in the room.

'What is wrong with you guys!?' Tai said while leaning in closer to him. 'Neither of you showed up. I think you may have lost your chance' he joked.

'I cancelled.' he said shortly as he sat up rubbing his eyes. Tai's face became expressionless.

'Tomorrow is Sunday,' Izzy continued an changed the subject 'are you still coming to study?' his voice was wavering.

'About that... well' Tai stretched lazily, which made his shirt rise slightly to expose his stomach. Izzy's stomach flipped and he felt a tightness growing in his pants. He shifted his weight to grab a pillow and covered his lap. 'Well, Matt is having a party and we all kind of worked things out, and since it is winter break let's just skip this study sesh until next week or something?' Tai seemed bashful. 'I just, you know, apologized for being stupid...'

'Um, ok. Yea I guess that's fine, but you know that's not going to change things between her and Matt' Izzy stood off his bed and went to the door. 'I'm not really feeling well... would you mind?' Izzy gestured towards the door.

'Why don't you come along?' Tai suggested.

Izzy grunted and replied, 'I really don't fit in. It's not like when we were kids, Tai. We get to choose who we hang around. The bond only lasts so long for some of us.'

'First of all, Izzy, I think you are delusional. I think you've put up all these science-y brain walls so you don't have to let anyone in. You act all smart to push people away, and then say "no one likes you." I like you. We all liked you and still do. You pushed everyone away.' Tai was at the door. Izzy hadn't seen him like this for a while. He had a serious tone.

'Just come along. I promise-' he grabbed Izzy's shoulders and turned to face him. 'You will have fun.'

Izzy stayed silent for a moment. He was pondering what Tai had said, but ultimately realized there was nothing Tai could say that would make him want to take part in that.

'No, Tai. I don't think I will go' Izzy finished.

There was an awkwardness between them then Tai nodded. He tapped the side of Izzy's arm and left the room.

Izzy felt anger towards himself and quite jealous. 'Jealousy is passion that searches with enthusiasm for what causes pain' Izzy thought to himself as he closed his bedroom door.

The following evening Izzy was once again sitting at his table. When winter break was over finals would be starting. Izzy didn't want to fall behind on his marks. A slight rap on the door distracted Izzy. He finished his paragraph while standing and then walked quickly towards the door. He opened the door just as the person on the other side was about to knock again.

next chapter will be up soon. I promise. Please review.