Rufus's little adventure
[Shinra HQ]
Rufus: [Goes into his room] AHHHHH!!!!
Guard: President Rufus?
Rufus: Th-Th-The Playstation and the T.V. are gone!!!
Voice: President Rufus? President Rufus?
Rufus: .....I dreamed the T.V. and playstation were gone.
Guard: Oh it was no dream.
Rufus: AHHHHHHH!!!!!! I can't sleep without a T.V.! Elena get in here!
Elena: [Comes out of Rufus's bedroom wearing a T-shirt and cutoffs] Yes Rufie?
Rufus: You'll adress me as Mr. President!
Elena: Kay. But after last night-
Rufus: SHUT THE HELL UP! Get back to kidnapping and murdering people! No wait...find my T.V.
Elena: Find it yourself. I'm taking a vacation.
Rufus: No wait! Was it the "Call me Mr. President" thing?
Heidegger: SIR!
Rufus: What?
Heiddeger: I bought you a new T.V.!
Rufus: I don't wanna new t.V. I want my T.V. CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!!!!!!!!!!
Heiddeger: Then instead of a playstation here's a N64.
Rufus: [Cocks his shotgun]
Heiddeger: ....or not.
Rufus: I WILL FGIND MY PLAYSTATION WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!1
Reeve: While your at it could you get us a DVD?
Rufus: Sure.
[Yuffie's secret headquarters]
Yuffie: Heeee heee I got Rufus's T.V. Now I can watch the Materia thieves channel I want!
Voice: Yuffie!
Yuffie: Heeee heeeee it's Reno.
Reno: Did you take my boss's T.V.?
Yuffie: No.
Reno: Ok.
Yuffie: Heeee heee what a loser.
Rufus: T.V.!!! Need it!
Girl: Hey Prez wanna date?
Rufus: Have you seen my T.V. or my Playstation?
Girl: No....
Rufus: Then your of no use for me you stupid slut!
[Yuffie's house]
Rufus: [Come's in with a red handmark on his cheek] I know you took my T.V. Yuffie!
Yuffie: To late. Already sold it.
Rufus: To who?
Yuffie: Barret
Rufus: What's his adress?
Yuffie: 1400 Byatch ave.
Rufus: I'M THERE!
[Barret's house]
Marlene: Daddy...That Dictator guy is here about his T.V...
Barret: Well,well if it aint dat foo Dufus.
Rufus: My name is Rufus.
Barret: Rufus,Dufus whatever.
Rufus: Gimmie my T.V. or I'll blow your brains out.
Barret: You and what army?
Rufus: The Shin-Ra army.
Barret: .....That's a good army.
Rufus: Give me the T.V....
Barret: Aeris has it.
Rufus: You sold it?
Barret: Didn't have sattelite.
Rufus: It had a playstation.
Barret: No good games.
Rufus: I had all the good games! I'm off to Aeris's house.
[Aeris's house]
Rufus: [Knocks down the door] GIVE ME MY T.V. BITCH!
Aeris: Don't pull a Cid.
Rufus: %&^%^^&*&*()^%#$#^%&()()^%$##%^&()((^^$@@@!@$%&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris: You just said a mouthfull.
Rufus: Where's my T.V.?
Aeris: Here it is. [Gives him a T.V. decorated with flowers]
Rufus: Ahhhhh My T.V.! It's so... so.... girly.
Aeris: I am a girl you know.
Rufus: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris: But that's not your T.V.
Rufus: Huh?
Aeris: Hojo is using your T.V. for an experiment.
Rufus: I'm there.
Aeris: Want some cookie's?
Rufus: ^%&* YES!
[Hojo's lab]
Hojo: I have all the ingredints...The ciggarete of Cid Highwind,The Spike of Cloud's hair,Tifa's tank top,Sephiroth's Masamun,Yuffie's stolen materia and RedXIII's flea's plus Rufus's T.V.= Super Materia!
Rufus: Give me my T.V. you Grade A Psycho!
Hojo: Your too late! In three minuites. [Ding] Oh the Pizza's done.
Rufus: Darknation Maul him until he get's my T.V.
Hojo: Sample H501 eat Darknation
Darknation: [Run's way]
Hojo: Heeee heeee I win.
Rufus: Let's fight for the T.V.!
Hojo: [Transforms into Hellectic Hojo] I have injected myself with Jenova! Here are my....
Rufus: Yeah,Yeah!
Hojo: I'll tear you to pieces! I'm a warrior!
Rufus: [Simply shoot's him in the groin]
Hojo: NOOOO!!!!! MY WEAK POINT! [Turns back to normal]
Rufus: Now your a dickless warrior. [Takes the T.V.]
[Rufus's room]
Rufus: Now I can watch all the Married with children I want!
T.V.: Married with Children has been canclled for Barney and Friends!
Rufus: Mebbe I should just play the Playstation...
THE END