AN; Haven't posted anything lately… I woke up much earlier than usual and was laying on my couch just thinking and listening to the Killers. And the very depressing thoughts of Cloud that I had in my head began to mix with some of the lyrics and I ended up with a short, little rant about… Zack, haha. Oh yes, I'm just amazing like that. Anyways, more slight depressing-ness. And I'm amazed by the love that my other depressing Cloud and Zack one got, 349 hits as of this moment. Gee, thanks. Oh and to get this out there, I've never played Crisis Core and I played the original FFVII (on the computer, complete with box-y hands!!) when it first came out, so you FFVII obsessors know how long it's been, so sorry about how my details (not like there are many) are off, BUT IT'S MY STORY, SO HAH!

Disclaimer; Final Fantasy VII, it's characters and components belong solely to its creators, SquareSoft (because I refuse to call them SquareEnix and SquareSoft sooo sounds better), and all that. Title is from the Killers song Read my Mind, because that song makes me want to cry for some reason and sometimes I think it connects well with Zack.

Written on; July 24, 2008 sometime after eight in the morning, and finished exactly at 9:30 AM, because I'm amazing like that.

They say that when you die, your entire life flashes before your eyes. But how do they know? Have they died before? Sure people who have near death experiences say that it does, but they haven't actually died.

So I'm here to set straight the record, well, my own at least.

I have died and my little over twenty years of life did not play out before my eyes. It would have taken too long and I certainly don't want to see some of that before finally joining the Lifestream. Instead, my mind overflowed with regrets and apologies. Tear-jerking thought, isn't it?

Don't pity me, it was bound to happen.

Laying there, I thought, "Sorry I didn't call home more, Ma. Sorry I couldn't make you as happy as you deserve to be, Aerith. Sorry we got into a fight before I left, Reno." And on and on and on like that. My mind fell in and out of its haze, but I could tell it was raining. I love the rain. It almost never rained in Midgar. But there was a part of the sky that was too blue, unlike the rest of the gray heavens. But then that part of the sky started to rain too. Not sky. It wasn't sky, but it was still a part of my heaven. Cloud was raining. Haha, get it? Okay, bad time for joke, but I think all that regretting was getting to me because it's just not me. Right? But Cloud was crying and his lips were moving. I couldn't hear a thing he said, though I think he was screaming it. "Sorry I couldn't keep my promises better, Cloudy-boy."

I know I pulled his head to me, wishing I wasn't wearing gloves so that I could feel his hair that still stuck up during the rain. "I love his hair. Did I ever tell him that? Maybe he knew. I was always touching it."

By then I could hear the Planet calling to me. "Is this what Aerith hears? I should have paid more attention to her." It was beckoning me like my ma to come inside before it got too dark. To come into the warmth of the house before I got cold. But like always, I wanted to stay out longer. "But I can't go yet, Cloudy's talkin' and I don't know what he's sayin'!" So as if to get me to come, my hearing came back, just for a moment. I could hear rain, pounding rain, but so much louder, I could hear Cloud.

"You're a hero, Zack. You're a goddamn hero."

Well, that's good to know. I always did want to be a hero, didn't I? Well that's one regret I didn't need to have. I hope my ma would know. Hope it makes up for me running off and joining the army. The Planet was getting impatient by then. So I thought my goodbye and final apology.

"Sorry I couldn't love you more, Cloud, but I damn well tried."

I think he heard it though.