Once again, an idea that just wouldn't go away. As of right now, this officially a drabble teaser (519 words, not bad), since I have a hard time getting into the Joker's mindset. I won't do things following him through most of this. Most of this is going to follow Batman's thoughts and observations on the Joker as he looks for vengeance.

You'll notice the similarity in the beginning to "Harley and Ivy." Getting thrown out was obviously a fairly often occurrence for Harley, so it makes sense that she would get waylaid by an enemy of the Joker (not Batman, obviously) at some point.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Based on Batman the Animated Series through "Harley and Ivy" (end of season two).

Red as Blood

"Harley! Where's my favorite whoopee cushion!" the Joker shouted, the harsh sound reverberating throughout the hideout. Despite Harley's attempts to domesticate the old comedy club with moth-eaten pillows and threadbare rugs – Joker would never allow her to go on a thieving spree in a home décor store – the place was mostly hard surfaces and sharp corners, so sound echoed. Especially when the Joker was irritated.

Joe and Larry didn't even want to think about when he became angry, having never seen it themselves. No one lived to tell of when he got angry, except maybe Harley Quinn herself.

"Harley!"

The two henchmen exchanged glances as if saying, "It's your turn" and "No, I did the dishes. Your turn." Finally, Larry mumbled, "Uh, you threw her out again, boss."

"Well, yes, but she's always come back." The Joker's black-lined eyes narrowed, and his red lips twisted into a scowl. "And don't even mention that stint with Ivy. She's still in Arkham." The Joker smirked to himself at the thought of escaping while the plant woman was still rotting in the loony bin. Serves her right for trying to steal Harley, to get her to stand up for herself. Harley with self-confidence away from her puddin' could prove to be a problem, and Joker would not hesitate to kill Poison Ivy if she interfered with his one constant (other than insanity and purple suits). The Joker would never admit to being dependent on Harley, but she was damned useful to have around when she wasn't messing up his perfect plans.

Larry and Joe shrugged. "Haven't seen her since two days ago, boss," Joe offered. "Maybe she got caught."

"No," the Joker muttered. "She wouldn't go to Arkham without me." The Joker, while being a heartless bastard, was at least aware of the love and devotion Harley felt. He certainly enjoyed being adored, and someone needed to wash his laundry and feed the hyenas. It would be troublesome teaching a new henchman how to press his suits all the time, considering the rate he went through muscle men.

Scowling, he decided to go rob a high-end restaurant and demand the meal ordered by the most important person in the place. Handling meals was normally Harley's job, of course, and she sometimes complained that he never took her anywhere nice. Well, he'd get a nice meal, ha ha, and enjoy it while she gallivanted around doing who-knows-what. She could starve for all he cared.

The Joker continued with these thoughts until he opened the back door to find a battered blonde woman on the doorstep with a red ribbon tied around her neck. The ribbon was as red as the blood streaming from her many wounds. Her skin was its usual white but without the makeup, and her lips were cracked and bleeding instead of painted black. The blood and bruises replaced the red and black outfit she normally wore, and the Joker, in typical psychopath fashion, clinically noted the ring of black underneath the ribbon and circling her inner thighs.

And then the Joker became angry.

Never fear, Harley is still alive. But what will the Joker do? This is definitely a writing exercise for me: to plunge into a mind that I don't really understand.