What?! Is this some kind of joke? Organization Nonsense is FINALLY being updated? What is the DEAL?!
No, your eyes do not deceive you. After 2 1/2 months of a sortakindaunofficial hiatus, I finally sat down and wrote this baby.
Why, exactly? *sigh* I bought a Gameshark before I found out those things were useless and somehow managed to delete ALL my PS2 memory card data in the process. Needless to say, we returned that before the 7 day gurantee.
And I was on the 11th floor of Castle Oblivion on Re:CoM...
ANYWAYS...So that means I have a LOT of time on my hands, because I'm not going back in and wasting 200 more hours on a game...yet. And I then realized I had kind of left you guys hanging on this here story, and since I hate it when other authors do it to me, I realized it wasn't very fair for me to do the same...
But anyways...here ya go, my people. And this sucker is LONG. 15 pages on my word processor, 4,500 words or something...so good luck. And I've already got a 10.5 and 11 lining up nicely. So happy reading.
Disclaimer: I own nothing...not even a saved file of Kingdom Hearts...*sob*
"Give it to me."
Axel, otherwise occupied at the moment with his daily practice, turned to see a somewhat-peeved Cloaked Schemer. Said Emo had his hand outstretched and a glare on his unsmiling face to suggest that, whatever IT was, IT better be handed over smartly or there would be hell to pay.
Of course, this meant little to the pyro, who enjoyed playing with fire--in more ways than one. He offered a quirk of a smile as he banished his chakrams and gave the other his full attention.
"My, my," he drawled, "I never knew you were so…forceful…in voicing your desires, Zexion."
The younger of the two dropped his arm but did nothing else to reveal that he was slightly puzzled at this reply.
"I mean, really…" Axel trailed off as he took up a casual pose. "I didn't even realize you swung that way. Can't say I do either, though you might have heard otherwise…"
Zexion's eyes slowly dawned with understanding. Like the suggestive pervert VIII was, when he said 'give IT to me', he actually thought he meant 'let's get IT on.'
"I-!" he could barely utter a syllable, feeling himself being consumed by adamant rage and a bit of embarrassment. The pyro merely waved him off with a hand, seemingly oblivious to his companion's fuming.
"No, don't feel bad, really. Maybe you can find…fulfillment…in someone else. Demyx, maybe?"
"You blundering idiot!" snapped the other, his voice echoing across the room menacingly and stunning the redhead into a shocked silence. "I am not seeking a bedmate! I am perfectly--happily!--straight! And furthermore," he said, his voice decreasing in decibels but not in malice as he forcefully jabbed his finger into Axel's chest, "I wouldn't DO IT with you even if your THING was impressively enormous, were the last person in the world, and I was as GAY as a DAFFODIL!"
The Emo would have portalled there and then, if not even before, had the present matter plaguing him not been of utmost importance.
"Not quite fooling with me, pyro. I need my book."
"Book? Let's see…book book bookety book…" Axel tapped his chin with an index finger and proceeded to look thoughtful. At length he shrugged nonchalantly. "Haven't seen it."
"Stop playing and hand. It. Over. I am NOT in a good mood."
Number VIII blinked. "Like I said, I haven't seen it nor have I stolen it. What even makes you think I took it?"
"A reliable source informed me."
"Right."
They stood at a cold impasse for a good minute before Zexion roughly reached inside the pocket of his cloak and held up a paper. "I predicted this would happen, so I took the liberty of making this," he said, smacking the paper. "It's a signed order, straight from the Superior."
Axel snatched it out of his hand and scanned it as number VI continued, "If my book is not returned to me--by the end of the day--there will be serious consequences. Even more painful than Gay Week at Disneyworld."
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
The Cloaked Schemer pretended to shrug innocently. "Oh, I don't know…something along the lines of a more PERMANENT vacation." He portalled away then, leaving his last words to reverberate against the white walls.
Well this was just peachy.
Axel had not been lying, in fact, when he had said he hadn't taken the book. He'd spent the last few days well away from Zexion and any sort of literature, choosing to amuse himself in OTHER ways (such as "sledding" down the castle stairs on baking pans and having an impromptu pool party in Demyx's room--oh, they'd be cleaning up for weeks…).
He was being framed. He was going to, quite possibly, be kicked out of Organization XIII for something he hadn't done. And something lame, at that! If he was going to be expelled, he might as well go all out and blow something up, or put in a hidden sound system that continuously played the Barbie song, but no…a silly book.
It was utterly sickening.
And the Emo wasn't much of a help, either. He hadn't even told him the book's title--without that, any search to redeem himself was hopeless. And who exactly was this "reliable source"? Was it a bluff, or had someone actually put Zexion on Axel's tail, seeing it as the perfect opportunity to be rid of the trouble-making pyro once and for all?
The Flurry of Dancing Flames felt a headache coming on.
*** *** ***
"Now let's see…you haven't seen Zexion in days, and you have no books in your current possession. I think this cold qualify as a rock-solid alibi, given that you have a witness."
Number XIII, having abandoned his regular garb for a trench coat and a Sherlock-esque hat, lounged behind a desk as he considered his best friend's options.
"You would count as a witness, right?" the pyro asked uneasily. He'd gone to Roxas partly out of desperation and was just slightly turned off at his buddies' whole-hearted eagerness to masquerade as a detective. It just seemed like another game to him, not his friend's place in the Organization on the line.
"Perhaps. But only as a last resort," he placed a plastic pipe in his mouth and put both feet up on the furniture. "First we--no, I--ask a few acquaintances that are trustworthy to recap their activities this past week. Maybe then we can piece together Zexion's goings-on and your lack of involvement in them."
Axel opened his mouth to comment, but the younger boy suddenly leapt up and began to pace the length of the room.
"Next I'll interrogate suspects, do some eavesdropping, have an all-out search on the accuser's room. Fingerprints shall be identified, security cameras retrieved, codes cracked…justice will prevail and the innocent saved!" he ended, banging his fist on the desk.
VIII shook his head at the misguided child, who didn't seem to notice as he stalked out the door, magnifying glass in hand.
Well this had been a bust. The day was nearly half over and he was still very much empty-handed. Taking some of Sherlock Junior's advice, he left to go ask a certain Savage Nymph some questions.
*** *** ***
"So it was YOU!"
"I--no, really-!"
"A-ha! No alibi forthcoming now, is there?"
"B-but Roxas!"
"Admit it."
"…Yes! It was me!"
The blonde boy stuck his plastic pipe in his mouth and took up a pose to best display his superior powers of deduction. The assumed-perpetrator, aghast, could only look on in awe as he explained:
"My fine fellow, your trail was poorly concealed. I followed the trail of crumbs to deduce that it was you, indeed, who took the last cookie from the jar…Now, no blubbering," he scolded, passing on a handkerchief.
The Melodious Nocturne was truly amazed. "How ever did you do it?"
"Elementary, my friend."
Demyx blew his nose and passed back the hanky. "Teach me, please! That was truly amazing!"
"Well…"
"If I could only be half as brilliant as you, I would not be in such a sorry state!"
"It is pretty sorry," Roxas conceded. "I suppose…but a decent amount of intelligence and dedication is required if you want to follow in my footsteps."
"Yes, of course!"
"Right then, you shall be my Watson in the case afoot. I will catch you up…and we'll have to get you some new duds to really get a feel for this."
*** *** ***
The library door creaked in ill omen as The Flurry of Dancing Flames opened it wide enough to slip in the room. The books seemed to frown down on him--coming back to the scene of the crime now, are we?--as he made his way down the main isle.
For a moment he was afraid he had guessed wrong, but no--there she was. Book in hand, eyes scanning the words of her well-loved classic. The person that could very well help him in his present mess.
Larxene looked up when he cleared his throat. "My, my, what a surprise," she taunted, closing the book and stretching.
He closed his eyes and inhaled. "Larxy, I need help. Someone's got it out for m."
She snickered and approached. "So what's new? Just be glad it's not me."
The pyro opened his eyes and pulled out Zexion's letter. "This time it's kind of different."
He allowed her to read it, the playfulness dimming from her face as she returned the note and listened to the beginning of an explanation.
"And you didn't do it, I'm guessing," she concluded.
"Of course not." The young woman raised an eyebrow and he growled in annoyance. "Why would I steal a book? Even I don't sink so low."
"True. But from the looks of this it seems that the Superior's tolerance level has reached an all-time bottom and he's just going to see it as stealing is stealing is stealing."
"Yes…" the pyro grumbled.
"And you're a likely suspect with no excuses whereas the Cloaked Schemer has a sketchy reason," she pointed out.
"Exactly. I need someone to help me even the odds."
"Which is where I come into the picture, right?"
"Please, Larx," the redhead implored, dramatically getting down on his knees. "You're the only one I can trust with this. Probably the only one who can save my sorry butt."
She cocked an eyebrow. "A very sorry butt. But…sure I'll try," she shrugged.
Axel practically threw himself at her. "Thanks, Larxy! I knew you were a pal!"
"But you owe me big."
"…Crap."
*** *** ***
Getting milk out of the fridge should be relatively harmless.
Granted, the fridge could be radioactive, or on the way to it you trip and fall and bust your head open, or the milk could explode spontaneously…
But hypothetically, it should be easy, correct?
Little did Lexaeus know…
He realized there was trouble a-brewin' when his Queen alarm clock didn't go off. And his Freddie poster falling off the wall during the night wasn't a good sign, either…
But neither of these ill omens prepared him for…
"A-HA!"
A seemingly-deranged number XIII, clothed in some outlandish outfit, dove out of the refrigerator and tackled the Silent Hero's legs. Since this was basically ineffective given the older man's hulking mass, he had time to see The Melodious Nocturne, also clothed in bizarre apparel, using a portable heater to keep himself toasty as he remained curled up in the appliance.
V frowned as the youngest continued to assault his ankles and cry out useless phrases such as, "surrender villain, or prepare to meet they doom!" When he appeared to have tired a bit, the older man calmly reached down, firmly grasped the boy in one hand, and catapulted him over his shoulder. He heard the satisfying sound of him connect with the metal garbage can. Score. He repeated with Demyx to get the same results.
The two watched from their self-made seats in the oversized trash bin as Lexaeus retreated back to his room with his milk and cereal, humming "Another One Bites the Dust" under his breath.
"We'll just take that as a dead end," said the Sherlock wannabe, pulling a banana peel out of his hair.
*** *** ***
"So what's that you're reading?"
The Cloaked Schemer looked up to see Larxene studying him intently. He kept his place with his thumb and showed her the book's cover.
"Interesting," she commented.
"Very."
"Hmmm…if I didn't know better, I'd say you were in a very good mood today, Zexion."
He half-shrugged. "Kind of. Let's just say that life around here…might start getting a lot…quieter."
"How so?"
"I finally have something to get Axel out of our hairs."
The Savage Nymph appeared to be surprised. "Wow. Really?"
"He stole my book and I've got witnesses."
"You mean…that book?" she asked, pointed at the one in his hand. He growled.
"No…the book he stole was much, much better."
"What was it called? Maybe you just misplaced it."
"I very seriously doubt that."
"So…who saw him take it?"
The boy only smiled evasively. All in good time, Larxene."
It took sheer willpower to not scowl and/or grab him up by the collar and shake him into submission. She simply laughed humorlessly and looked away. "You sure are eager to see him off."
"And you're not? I thought he gave you the hardest time of all. You should be happy."
"Well…" she began, carefully delivering her accusation, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were framing him or something."
"Me?" he asked, going back to his novel now. "Heh. I guess you just never know."
*** *** ***
"It was him."
"I dunno, Larxy."
Both the pyro and the nymph leaned against the door to Axel's room, a suitcase and belongings waiting to be packed on his bed. Larxene sighed deeply.
"It has to be. Didn't you hear him?"
"We don't have any way to prove it."
"Our word against his. Well, him and his 'reliable source'." she said with contempt, using air quotes.
Number VIII grinned, clearly amused at her determination. "Since when did you care? Like Zexion said, you should be happy."
XII seemed deeply offended, taking two steps forward and pointing her finger accusingly. "Since when did I CARE? I've always cared."
Axel leaned in closer, a foreign look in his emerald eyes. "Say that again," he murmured.
She gulped quietly, now aware of the implications of her words. Implications…that she might, quite possibly, wholeheartedly feel. Sort of. As much as a Nobody could.
"I…Axel, I-" she felt her mouth going dry as he continued to move in…
"A-ha!" Roxas and Demyx sprung out of the suitcase. XIII ran to the girl and pushed a tape recorder in her face. "Admit it! It was YOU!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Where were you two Thursdays ago at 7:18?"
"What does that-"
"Dodging the question, eh? We have ways of dealing with your type!"
Axel face palmed appropriately.
"Larxene, you are hereby charged with using up all the hot water this morning. We have THIS as evidence!" he pressed play on the tape recorder and immediately the newest Jesse McCartney single began streaming.
"So that's where that tape went…" he mused, pressing pause and sticking it hastily back into his pocket. "But mark my words, Larxy, justice WILL be served!" he cried, portalling off to be stupid somewhere else and Demyx following sheepishly.
Now that the "moment" had been ended abruptly by the sudden busting in of the other two, they chose the next of their quickly-dwindling options: asking around for any useable information on the accuser.
*** *** ***
Identical looks of determination crossed Roxas' and Demyx's face as they embarked on the task of searching Zexion's room. And what a job--clothes thrown everywhere, lots of closets and drawers, and some really cool stuff that they just had to play with 'cuz they were just really, REALLY shiny.
"Any luck over there?" the youngest called, partially hidden under the bed. IX looked the tiniest bit confused.
"I dunno, Roxas…Is-"
"No time for idle chit chat! Keep going!"
They were waist-deep in dirty laundry when it struck Demyx again. Something was a tad bit fishy.
"Rox, have-"
"Shhh! Looky what I found!" the blonde interrupted, holding up an action figure. "It waves its arms!"
"It's just…didn't you think Zexion's room would be a bit more…Emo-ish?" XIII didn't bother to look up, utterly enthralled in his find.
The Melodious Nocturne sighed, then took a good second look at the room. Let's see…a lot of silver stuff, crescent-shaped chairs, glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling…This really didn't fit the Cloaked Schemer's bill. Trance CDs and astronomy books lined the room's shelves, and some kind of anime posters line the walls.
"Fly, Sailor Moon! Fly!" said Roxas in a squeaky-high voice, lifting the toy into the air and "flying it" around his small space.
Uh oh.
"Did you just say…moon?"
"Yup. Wh-"
A look of sheer terror crossed his face. No, this was definitely NOT VI's room. It was-
"WHAT THE HACK ARE YOU TWO DOING?!"
Moments away from going into a deadly spazz-attack, Saix grabbed the action figure out of the youngest boy's hand and stroked her strange hair. Demyx was going into flight-or-beg-for-your-life mode and Roxas was at a loss for words as he sized them up and down.
"You two have invaded my privacy. Touched my belongings. Desecrated my beloved collection…" he closed his eyes in pain.
"It's not our fault, Saix! We were trying to get to Zexion's room and came here by honest mistake!"
"We just went one door too far!"
"We're really, really sorry, promise!"
"It won't happen again!"
As the two continued their rambling apologies, the Luna Diviner succeeded to calm down enough to stop glowing. He finally cracked open an eyed and stopped one of the guilty parties short.
"Shut up. And get. Out."
They nodded ecstatically and bowed in gratitude as they backed up to the door.
"Thanks for not going moon-psycho on us!"
"And nice room!"
"Great assortment of Sailor Moon stuff!"
"Hey is it just me or does Zexion sound like-"
"GET. OUT!"
*** *** ***
An hour or so later, two defeated inquisitors slumped in one of the castle's many empty rooms. Despite asking all of the other members of the Organization about what they knew of Zexion or a book, Axel and Larxene had nowhere else to go, no new info, and all trails had officially gone cold.
And no time, on top of that. There was less than an hour left before VIII would be called upon to produce the book or be determined guilty.
"I'm sorry, Axel," XII murmured, touching his shoulder. He shrugged. "If only there was someone else we could ask…"
Defeated silence loomed for a moment, but was finally broken by a sharp intake of breath from the pyro and him standing up.
"There is someone else!" he exclaimed, grabbing her hand. "Namine!"
"The witch? She couldn't know anything."
"It's worth a shot!" he cried as they portalled together.
But on the other side they were not alone…
"A-HA!"
The two groaned as they stepped into Namine's room to find Roxas and Demyx already there, the former apparently hot on the heels of new evidence. XIII paced back and forth in front of the girl, deliberating about some topic none of the present company cared anything about.
Axel thought his younger buddy was a great Nobody. Really. It was just that there was no frickin' way he was getting expelled because Roxas had suddenly decided to play Clue Jr. at a bad time. So he pushed the boy out of his way and, politely as possible, asked Namine for a testimony.
"Sure, I know who did it," she said quietly, as always, after VIII's summary.
"You're serious?"
"Of course. But," she smiled with an inkling of mischief, "I think I'D better draw who did it and reveal it to everyone."
This news was just too good. Apparently Larxene suspected trickery, for she pointed at the young witch menacingly. "If you're lying you'll regret it. I promise that."
But the other girl waved her hand, displaying more bravery than anyone had ever seen from her as she replied, "Trust me. You'll know without a doubt who it was once you hear the title."
But no more could be elaborated as they were all automatically summoned to the Superior's room.
*** *** ***
Xemnas, as always, was displeased that such petty disagreements occurred in the Organization (really, it was like they were children…). But he knew he had to put his foot down sometime and not time like the present, eh?
So here he was, presiding over a very-makeshift trial consisting of Axel, Zexion, and (for some reason or other) Roxas, the latter smugly "smoking" a bubble pipe. Everyone else either looked mildly interested or utterly bored.
"Right. Let's get on with this," he waved. The Cloaked Schemer, not needing any more of an invitation, started.
"Some time between last night and this morning, number VIII took my book without my consent. Not only is this stealing, he denies the theft, thus making him a-"
"Objection!" Roxas cried.
"Oh, come on!" growled the accuser. "You can't be both his private investigator AND his lawyer."
"On the contrary, I can be both of those AND his French maid on Tuesdays."
Xemnas face palmed politely and had the good sense to be embarrassed. "Please spare us the details."
But XIII interrupted once more, "Never mind. I just represent myself now."
"And why would you want to do that?"
Zexion protested, "What does this have to do with ANYthing?"
A minute passed as everyone pondered this and no conclusions could be reached.
The Superior finally had enough. "Now Axel, how do you plead?"
"Not gu-"
"My client pleads not guilty."
"Roxas!"
Xemnas sighed. "Have you decided to represent him again?"
The blond shrugged. "The pay's good."
"Is Axel aware that, should he be found guilty, he could face expulsion from Organization XIII?"
"Yes, your honor."
"Does he have any evidence to prove otherwise?"
"Yes, your honor."
"Are you going to make a fool of him as you present said evidence?" Those that were still awake chimed in with "probable's". Xemnas waved the boy off. "Don't answer that. Just being."
Roxas strode up to the middle of the room, took out his pipe, and began to pace.
"My client approached me at approximately one-seventeen PM today and informed me of the charges. I immediately set off, looking for my first suspect. This happened to be Demyx, who I also determined was eating the last cookie from the jar. The cookie was circular, about so big, and made of-"
"Get on with it."
"Right. Demyx and I eventually began to question everyone about this case, and we quickly determined that only a handful of people could have stolen the book."
"So you-"
"Don't rush me, man. We narrowed it down to thirteen people right away."
"How resourceful."
"Quite. We then deduced that it could not be number I…or XI, because apparently Marluxia can't read…mainly his hair dye bottle."
"It's natural!" came the cry from the peanut gallery.
"Ignoring that interruption, if I may…most of us had credible alibis to prove that we had not seen VI in the time period the crime was committed--thus narrowing it down to about, ah, four people. We then searched some rooms and eavesdropped unsuccessfully before approaching our last person.
"Namine, though well away from the rest of us, testifies that whoever stole the book approached her and showed her the stolen item in detail. She has also agreed to draw us a picture of the perpetrator."
"And no one else has seen this?" Xemnas asked as the girl handed Roxas a piece of sketching paper.
"No one. And by opening this, we confirm that the thief is-" he paused.
"Get on with it, sir," the Superior said as the silence stretched on.
"Might we go to a commercial break?"
"Just open the paper."
The boy unfolded the sketch to reveal a very accurate rendering of--
"Roxas?!"
(Quick poll of the audience: Who saw THAT coming?)
Number I addressed Zexion, "And what was the title of this book?"
"The Ultimate Jesse McCartney biography."
The audience face palmed nicely.
"What could have made you possibly think AXEL did it?"
"At the moment, I have no idea."
But the pyro and Larxene were too busy celebrating to hear. The whole room was in an uproar--celebrating, Lexaeus singing "We Are the Champions," and Roxas demanding a retrial for his new client--himself.
Xemnas finally called for order. "Axel, the court finds you not guilty. Roxas…you do realize you unwittingly lead a case against yourself?"
The boy shrugged. "It was the perfect crime."
"…Right. Your lesser punishment will be decided shortly. Court adjourned."
*** *** ***
The next day things were relatively back to normal (as best can be defined by Organization XIII). The now Scott-free Axel was back to practicing when Zexion appeared again.
"So…I just wanted to say I was sorry," the Emo said lamely. Axel gave him his best poker face. "And…I'm sorry I just automatically assumed it was you and lied about the "reliable source." It was just me."
"I see," the pyro said slowly.
"Oh, c'mon, Axel! It won't happen again."
VIII sighed and shook Zexion's outstretched hand. "Maybe I did deserve it…just a bit. I can be pretty annoying when I want to."
"I should say," Larxene agreed, suddenly appearing and punching his shoulder with something resembling…affection?
"So what happened to Roxas?"
"Eh…" The Cloaked Schemer said with some amusement, "he's still here…but you really don't wanna know."
After VI portalled, Axel shook his head. "My poor, slightly mentally-unstable buddy. But I guess his debt to society must be paid."
"Mmm-hmmm," the Savage Nymph agreed. "And speaking of paying debts, you owe me too."
Seeing his face of terror, she giggled and traced one of the triangles on his face. "Trust me. This debt will be much more…pleasurable…to pay."
The pyro wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Then let's get to paying."
*** *** ***
Meanwhile on one of the upper halls, in number VII's room, the Luna Diviner was adding a new piece to his collection…
"Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon life-size dress up doll!" he exclaimed in joy, braiding hair into the trademark "meatballs." "And stop moving! You'll wrinkle your mini-skirt!"
"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Roxas.
"And just think…we have alllll week to do this! You'll be the prettiest Sailor Scout when I'm done!"
Roxas face palmed miserably.
"And stop doing that! You'll smudge your lip gloss!"
Good? Bad? Comments are appreciated, as always, along with any ideas. Hope ya liked! :D
...And no, you won't have to wait 2 1/2 months for the next one...I think? If you nag me, I'd appreciate it!
Soli Deo Gloria, now and forever.