Disclaimer: Trinity Blood and its characters DO NOT belong to me. Strictly speaking, I am not sure whether my characters can even be considered canon. Beware of OOC-ness.

Hugue in a dress. Need I say more?

Of Queens and Priests

0900h, corridor outside Cardinal Caterina's office

"Father de Watteau located. Escorting him over as instructed," Tres droned as he forced Hugue to his feet. Hugue scowled and struggled against the iron grip of the android. To add insult to injury, Dandelion was leaning against a pillar at the far end of the corridor, trying hard not to laugh.

Dirty traitor, Hugue glared venom at Father Abel. "I'm sorry, so sorry… didn't know you were hiding in the linen closet…" The bespectacled priest apologized profusely. The apologies faded away as the android escorted a fuming Hugue into the Cardinal's office. Caterina peered at Hugue over the laced fingers propping up her chin. This was awkward. Truth be told, she hardly blamed him for trying to run from this assignment. Still, Hugue has to do it as no one else could. It was Hugue who broke the silence.

"Your Grace, I absolutely refuse to wear a dress! Please get someone else to do it."

"Sorry, Hugue. There is only one person in AX who matches the physical built of Queen Lilika of Icelandia. That person is you." Caterina closed her eyes in momentary thought. If she played her cards right, not only would the Church regain a foothold in the mostly pagan Icelandia and distant Northwest, she would also gain a staunch supporter against her brother Francesco.

The Queen was well-loved in Icelandia. Lilika was not only a queen, but a warrior, having taken the reins of power at the age of fourteen and united the fragmented Icelandic tribes and clans within five years. Her people sang ballads of her prowess with a spear on the battlefield, how a spear flung by her could travel clean across the vast field of battle and still pierce through armour like a hot knife through butter. There must be some truth to the songs. Lilika had the broadest and most muscular shoulders the cardinal had seen on a woman, which complicated matters.

Queen Lilika was to travel with her small entourage to Rome, attend an audience with the Pope and take in the glorious sights and sounds of the city before returning to her country. All the while, she would be expected to be dogged by Francesco's hounds. There will be one chance to make the switch. The Queen would be whisked off from the Papal palace to Caterina's mansion, while her double took the tour of Rome.

"Sorry, Hugue. There is no room for argument. I have decided that you will be accompanied by your loyal maidservants…" Protests sounded outside the door. Tres strolled in and casually deposited a livid Father Leon on the carpet. Father Abel trotted worriedly after them.

"Gentlemen, the Professor will take it from here."

1230h, Father William's lab

"Too bad about Noelle breaking her arm last week. I'm sure this would look great on her... Does this make me look fat?" Leon complained as he whirled about in a sky-blue dress. He posed and studied his well padded rear. His face was clean-shaven and his hair tied back under a large hat with white ostrich feathers. Abel was dressed in a pink gown with velvet ribbons. He had forgone his glasses.

"No," William reassured Leon as he adjusted a stray ribbon in Abel's hair. "More to the left, Willie," Kate instructed. Too bad holograms could not move objects. Abel had his hair braided up in a bun. "I think I may need more of the rouge," Abel asked as he studied the picture of the woman whose part he was to play. Though temporarily incapacitated, Noelle had managed to rustle up as close matches to the women's clothes and accessories as she could get at short notice.

"Go easy on the makeup, Abel. We don't want to overdo it. The voice adapters I have fitted under your pearl collars should make you sound like women," William explained. "We'll switch them on, after we're done putting this, erm, padding on our queen…" He approached a scowling Hugue cautiously.

"I am not wearing a pearl collar…" Hugue complained. "Isn't that overdoing it?" He looked askew at the padding on the corset.

"No. I have it on good authority Her Majesty is a size F plus," Kate added. William stoically tied the padded corset onto Hugue. "Besides, you wouldn't need the adaptor. Her Majesty's a natural baritone. His Sanctity and Queen Lilika should be finishing up soon. Let's hurry up with the dress and go…"

1315h, Main steps of the Papal palace

The disguised trio waited for their carriage and the tour of Rome. Barely minutes earlier, the Queen of Icelandia and her ladies were escorted by Father Vaclav Havel to the side door of the palace where a closed carriage waited to take them to the Duchess of Milan. Hugue fumbled with his get-up. The royal headgear was heavy and studded with rare stones, or in Hugue's case, coloured glass. His gown was more elaborate than his servants'. It was a hot day. The fur trimmings at the wrists and neck were getting itchy.

Abel managed to look quite dainty as he fanned himself with a feathered fan. Suddenly, he went pale. "Hugue, Leon, look…" he pointed with his fan. An open carriage had stopped at the foot of the stairs. It was flanked by Inquisition guards and holding the reins of the milky-white steeds was none other than Sister Paula. Brother Petros rode on a brown horse alongside the carriage. Cardinal Francesco had definitely called on his best for Queen Lilika's visit.

"Man, tell me it is not so," Leon blanched, then went red. "I'll never live this down…" he gasped quietly. Petros dismounted and strolled purposefully up the steps. He was not pleased that the Cardinal Francesco had seen it fit to use his men in this manner. Escorting foreign diplomats about town when they could be busy killing vampires in Morocco indeed! Still, orders were orders.

"You Highness, I am at your service," he bowed politely before the disguised Hugue. "Allow me to escort you through our Holy City…." Hugue kept his face impassive. Without a word, he stepped past Petros in a swish of skirts and blond braids. His 'ladies' hurriedly followed.

Watching above from the Iron Maiden, Sister Kate groaned. Of all the escorts Francesco had to call on, it had to be Petros and Paula. Hopefully, the tour would pass without event and Petros will send the trio to the airfield without finding out about the swap.

Author's Notes:

In case anyone is wondering why Esther is not in on this, this is set pre-Istvan. Esther has not yet joined the AX team.

I was wondering how Hugue's sister would look like when I had a vivid image of Hugue in a dress. Eek.