Summary: A nice, happy family reunion turned bad.

How did things become so hectic? Well, for the Straw Hats, hectic is part of their everyday life but this… was getting ridiculous.

It all began this morning. The sun was starting to rise, the sea was beautifully majestic swathed in colors, and sea life was beginning to get more active. This was also the time in which everyone woke up and had breakfast.

After breakfast, everyone would separate to their own individual activities of their enjoyment and getting involved in the occasional skirmish. But the key word here is 'would.'

Today was deemed different because as Luffy, with his crew trailing behind him (save for Sanji who was washing the dishes), marched from the kitchen, they could hear the faint shout of the captain's name.

"Do you hear something?" Nami inquired. Not one second after she asked, a thud sounded as someone landed on the railings beside them.

The person smirked, readjusting his orange hat and stood to full height.

"Ace!" Luffy screamed and moved to tackle him. Ace, seeing his imminent doom in the form of his little brother moved aside but caught Luffy by the back of his vest before he would plunge into the ocean.

"Still as reckless as ever," Ace chuckled and set Luffy down. He jumped down from the railings and grinned at the rest of the crew.

"Yo," Ace greeted. "How're things?"

The crew made various different greetings in return.

He surveyed the group. "I see you have new members." He tipped his hat towards them. "It's a pleasure meeting you. I'm Ace, Luffy's big bro."

"Yep! That's Franky and that's Brook over there!" Luffy said happily pointing at the owners of the names.

"Ace you say? From Whitebeard?" Franky asked in surprise.

"That's correct," the other pirate said. He looked around the ship and whistled. "Wow great ship. Very well built."

"Yep! Franky's the best shipwright ever!" Luffy boasted. The said shipwright smiled brightly.

"I always build with care and love so it turns out supa!" Franky exclaimed proudly.

It was then a blonde mop of hair poked out of the kitchen door with a trail of smoke curling lazily up into the air from his cigarette.

"Oi I heard Ace is here," Sanji stated as he looked towards Luffy's elder brother. "Want a bite?"

"If you don't mind. I didn't eat for a few days now," Ace said apologetically.

Sanji nodded and went back into the kitchen.

"So how's everyone been doing? I hope my little brother didn't give everyone too much trouble."

Everyone just stared at him in a 'duh' fashion.

Ace laughed outright and grabbed Luffy in a chokehold, giving him a noogie.

"You can't seem to spare your nakama any trouble can you?"

"No," everyone said in a bland voice simultaneously.

Luffy just whined in protest.

"Food's done," Sanji announced.

Everyone followed Ace into the kitchen, chatting with one another as they did. Upon his prompt on their adventures, the room exploded in a color of conversation. This ranged from explanations about what happened since the last time they met to whining about what Luffy did yesterday.

"And then managed to break my frying pan," Sanji finished, smoldering from his rant.

Luffy pouted at this. "But Sanji, it wasn't broken. It still had half the handle still attached. It was still usable!" He looked like a child being scolded by his mother and probably didn't wanting his brother to hear all his misbehaviors.

"Why don't you try flipping food in the air clutching half a handle. I'm sure you'll realize how difficult it would be," Sanji retorted.

"So how have you been Ace?" Chopper asked.

The narcoleptic pirate only shrugged. "I've been okay. Could use some better days though."

Brook paused from sipping his tea (a bit obnoxiously) and added "Ah yes a calm day to make some new music is very soothing."

"Oh you play? So you're the crew musician. It's just like Luffy to have one."

"Indeed I play! The violin and piano mostly. I've been practicing," the skeleton said. "And I'm happy to have joined Luffy as the musician yohohoho!"

"Speaking of which, why are you a skeleton?" Ace raised an eyebrow.

"Oh well you see, I ate the Yomi Yomi no Mi and brought me back to life as a skeleton," Brook explained. "I've been stuck at Thriller Bark for years without a shadow until Luffy found me."

"Well Luffy. It seems you haven't only been fooling around," Ace smirked at his younger brother.

"Of course not! I kicked Moria's butt easy!" Luffy exclaimed.

Zoro opened his mouth to say something when Robin stated calmly "There seems to be someone outside."

Luffy was the first one to the door and so jerked it open. The person he saw outside standing on his deck with his back turned made the hyperactive captain shout a large yell of glee and promptly launched himself again.

Shanks had turned around just in time to collide with a bundle of Luffy.

Everyone crowded around the kitchen door in wonder as they stared at the one and only Red-Haired Shanks with his ship sailing right beside theirs. There, people leaned against the railings and watched the reunion with smirks and chuckles.

Ace was among the people around the doorway and froze in shock as his eyes widened.

Shanks somehow managed to pull a very happy Luffy off of him and stood back up and gave a wide grin.

"Luffy! You sure have grown a lot. Haven't seen you in years!" Shanks observed. "I've been keeping up with your wanted posters and the news and I gotta say, you are one of the most troublesome kid the Grand Line has ever met. I'm so proud of you!"

He patted Luffy's head firmly. "You still keeping up your promise?"

"Definitely!" the captain cried in return.

It was then the red-head turned towards the rest of the crew and spotted Ace walking towards him.

This brightened Shanks' face considerably.

"Ace! I've heard a lot about you too! How're things keeping up for you?"

The other pirate moved to say something then fell back on the deck snoring.

Shanks shook his head and chuckled. "You two haven't changed all too much. I still remember when you two were just boys and I took you treasure hunting."

"Yeah! And that time Ace switched your rum with apple juice!" Luffy chirruped happily.

The older pirate sagged at the memory. "I'd rather not think about that Luffy," he mumbled and once again faced the crew. "You've sure assembled a fine crew."

"Of course! They're the best! C'mon guys! Come meet Shanks!" He beckoned his friends over and they dared approach then started to introduce them.

"That's Nami. She's the best navigator and weather predictor ever! That's Sanji and his meals are delicious! And…" Luffy continued on with vigor. When Usopp was mentioned last, Shanks raised an eyebrow.

"Usopp? You mean you're Yasopp's son?" he asked.

The coward nodded and the red-head turned towards his ship but didn't find a need to call his sharpshooter for he was already onboard and slowly advancing towards his son.

There was a tense silence before Shanks whispered to Luffy, "Let's leave them alone for a while." And they silently stepped back into the kitchen.

"You've assembled a fine crew Luffy. Well first, to put up with you but also for sticking up for you up until now," Shanks commented.

The door opened once more and Ace stepped in, messing up his hair from under his hat, grumbling.

Shanks smirked. "It's good to know you're still the same Ace."

"Which is good because it means I'm still more mature than Luffy," the pyromaniac replied giving a lopsided grin.

"Excuse my interruption but how did you get to know Luffy-san and Ace-san?" Robin asked. "I was surprised when he told me he personally knew you."

Shanks scratched his chin and gave a wide grin, showing several teeth. "Well…"

It was well into the afternoon and the get-together was in full swing. Sanji, joined with Shanks' cook, had joined together to make food for the combined amount of people while Brook provided lively music. This created a light atmosphere and a party abounded soon after.

"Yes! Eat that. Straight royal flush," Nami announced in triumph as she revealed her hand of cards. The men around her groaned and banged their heads on the table as she smirked haughtily.

"Now pay up!"

All around her people were going crazy, running around, drinking, and laughing raucously. It was the sound and feel of a hearty gathering of long-lost friends. Usopp and Yasopp were conversing in a quieter area of the ship. Luffy was, of course, the center of attention to everyone while Ace just sat on the sidelines drinking rum and having occasional narcoleptic fits.

No one seemed to pay mind as a large Marine warship slowly and quietly sidled along the other side of the Thousand Sunny. No one paid heed as a gruff-looking figure landed on the ship with a thud. No one saw him until he let out a big booming voice.

"LUFFY!"

The ship abruptly quieted and stilled and a hushed silence fell over the crowd until:

"Eh?! What's jiji doing here?"

A wave of whispers washed over the heads of the pirates.

Garp scanned the mass of people until he pinpointed the straw hat-wearing captain and locked-on to him. He zoomed through and lifted Luffy up by the front of his vest.

"What? Is this the sort of greeting I get when your caring grandfather comes to pay you a visit?"

Ace let out a loud snore and fell off his chair, landing on the deck with a dull thud and waking up.

"Jiji's here?" he asked with sharp clarity of the situation.

Garp swiveled his attention to Ace and dropped Luffy back down.

"Ah Ace is here too! Two of my wonderful grandsons here at the same time! What a great day it is!" And to empathize the point, he gave a loud laugh.

The brothers exchanged looks before being jolted back to Garp when he spoke.

"What's this? A party?"

He looked around through the people and froze when he spotted Shanks. The pirate felt a shiver run down his spine and gulped as Garp's stare quickly morphed into a glare.

"YOU! RED-HAIRED SHANKS!"

Shanks nervously pointed to himself to confirm that he, and not anyone else, was about to face the crap that fate was about to throw at him.

Darn you fate!

"You're the one who corrupted my grandsons eh? Well we finally meet. How dare you turn them towards the unruly path of piracy! Eh?" Garp yelled, his voice echoing around like thunder.

"Now wa-wait a minute!" Shanks pleaded frantically.

But Garp doesn't seem to want to wait another minute to crush the red-head because he had already hefted a chair and thrown it towards the offending pirate.

Shanks screamed and ran.

It was then that chaos started to rein over. The pirates were either laughing, shouting, or just watching the scene. The Marines on Garp's battleship stood on the deck, confused about whether or not to arrest the pirates or to obey Garp's orders.

And of course Luffy and Ace were both trying to get Garp to stop trying to kill their favorite idol.

"Wait gramps!"

"It wasn't Shanks who turned us into pirates! How many times do we have to tell you we decided on it before!"

Ace scoffed. "He never listens to us anyway," he grumbled.

"Gramps! Stop chasing Shanks!"

Everything became blurred and hectic after this and the rest is history. Of course, they couldn't be a real family without having a few fights now and then right?

A/N: Okay you caught me. If you read Don't Tell Ace, you'll get some of the (not so?) jokes with Shanks XD

I tried to add some crew conversations because I felt they were left out on this chapter. And that's all folks! The last chapter of Dysfunctional Family by yours truly. I hope it was as good as I hope it is because I didn't want to disppoint anyone. Ciao!