A game of chess between the shinigami and the ninja
AN: I watched this really cool cosplay chess video on youtube the other day and got addicted. Put that together whit my imagination and you get this fic. Mostly crack, rated for fake violence and language. If you wish to make things more easy to know what is going on I suggest you make your own chess board in MS paint or something to make progress whit. So yeah neither Naruto nor Bleach belongs to me, sadly and neither does cosplay chess. Enjoy the story; reviews are welcome, bad or good, but flames will be laughed at
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Chapter 1
"I AM SICK OF THIS". Ichigo grumped as he and Rukia sat down watching TV while on their break. The program where a wery loathed series among the Bleach actors.
"Why in the name of god do people think Naruto is better than my show?"
Rukia raised her eyes. "YOUR show?"
"OK our show then" Ichigo said. "My point is that we are so much cooler than a boy dressed in orange crying Believe it believe it 500 times during a 20 minutes episode."
"Well before you start doing something you might regret remember what happened the last time we went to war against the Naruto Company?"
Ichigo thought about it and suddenly remembered an episode involving Sakura and Yashiru punching and biting each other, everything ending in a lawsuit because Kenpachi wanted to help Yashiru out because Sakura had turned Yashiru´s hair pink.
Ichigo sighed. 'Stupid ninjas and stupid ninjutsu spells.' "Well I can't take it anymore". He where about to start again as a commercial started about a local anime convention. "Oboy this again." He frowned as the lady on screen said something about cosplay chess. "What is cosplay chess?" He asked.
"You don't know?" Rukia blinked. "It is like a big round of chess, only the pieces are humans dressed as their favourite characters from different anime shows or games. Each time a piece takes another piece the board clears and the pieces go head to head and beat each other or fake dies in humiliation."
Ichigo thinks over it and smiles as he pictures a guy dressed as Byakuya is killed by a guy dressed as a red plumber. "Heh funny… Hey wait a minute I got an idea."
"Uh oh" Rukia said not liking this.
Ichigo sat up and reached out a hand and took up the phone. He dialled a number and smiled. "Hello Mr. Producer I have an idea to calm things down between the Naruto and Bleach productions, how fast can you make a meeting whit the Narutards?"
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"And so therefore I think that a match of chess between the shinigami and the ninjas will finally settle this."
Ichigo frowned. 'Stupid producer taking credit for his idea.' He stood whit the rest of the main Bleach characters scowling over at the Naruto characters at the other side of them.
"And what are the deals if we win?" Naruto asked before the producer spoke up.
"The winner team has the right to say that their show is best and you will admit to it their own show."
Naruto nodded agreeing to the terms. "And how will we deicide the pieces?"
"We won't our fans will" Ichigo said. "We will release this as a commercial event and our fans will say what they mean and think and the most popular ones win."
"So when will we start kicking your buts?" Neji asked getting impatient.
"We will kick your buts in 4 weeks" Isane said.
"Well then before we leave, we need 2 people one from each side which can actually play the game, any volunteers?" The producer asked. Temari stepped out from the Naruto crowd; the same did Unohana from Bleaches crowd.
"Looking forward to beat you" Temari announced.
"Likewise" said Unohana calmly.
"Well then we will see you all at the nearby convention center at 4 o'clock Saturday in 4 weeks. You will not know which people play what to make sure nobody get's end up hurt so the team must forfeit. Any questions?" Asked the producer.
Kenpachi raised his hand.
"Yes Kenpachi?"
"Can we kill them or do we have to pretend?"
"Pretend Zaraki".
"Then what is the point? I'm outta here."
The producer sighed. 'Oh well maybe this will give us some money extra to spend on the show'
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4 weeks later
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The convention center where packed whit people, fans of all ages, cosplayers loving the atmosphere, fan girls wanting autographs and every single Shinigami and Ninja ready to battle it out. Then the lights went on and two small figures appeared on the middle of a giant chess board.
1 where a small plush lion, the other a boy whit a long scarf and leaf village ninja logo on his head. They held a microphone each and started talking.
"Hello everyone this is your favourite mascot Kon."
"And I am Leaf village ninja Konohamaru. We are today's commentators, you have a problem whit that, though break."
Kon smiled a bit of being in the spotlight for once without getting smacked at. "Before we start we will tell you that over at the door our friends Rinrin, Cloud, Shikamaru and Ino are having a betting stand to raise money for the poor people in china. 25 of all incoming betting's go to them."
Konohamaru smiled and continued. "The winning team of this competition gets bragging rights for a minimum of 5 years; enough time to make sure this is going to be a fun game. All weapons have been replaced whit fake ones to make sure no one is "accidentally" hurt and Kido, ninjitsu and the like has been declared illegal."
Kon smiled. "Now first of all at our right side we have our 2 players, playing for white and the ninjas Temari of the Sand."
Konohamaru smiled. "And playing for black and for the shinigami, Captain Retsu Unohana."
The two females smiled and waved to the audience and friendly shook hands.
"And now the moment we have all been waiting for" Kon declared. "We have in our hands the people who will play as pieces. So Konohamaru please start whit the white side."
"All right Kon, now first, the queens rook, or tower depending how you want to look at it, is Kuranai."
The ninjas applauded, the shinigami booed as Kuranai stepped into the Square and took her place on the board.
"Next, the queen's knight is Kiba."
Once again applause and booing as Kiba whit Akamaru on his head and held up a peace sign grinning before placing himself next to his sensei.
"And the queen's bishop is… Shino."
Shino didn't do much just stepped up and stepped in line.
"We'll skip the king and queen for last, next the Kings tower is Tsunade."
Tsunade walked calmly up to her place ignoring the booing but threw a paper ball into Ikkaku´s face making him fall back, making Tsunade and the ninjas laugh.
"OK then, the King's knight, give it up for master Jiraya."
Jiraya came up screaming "YES THE WOMEN OUT THERE LOVES ME", making Tsunade groan.
"And then we have the king's bishop, give it up for Sakura."
Sakura smiled and blushed at all the praise she got and ignored the booing.
'I will get back at them in the game she thought.'
"OK and now over to the pawns starting up at the left, on Kuranai´s side. Kuranai´s pawn is Asuma."
Asuma came walking up, looked at Kuranai, blushed and turned around.
"Next to Asuma is Tenten." Tenten smiled and stood in line.
Next, we have Rock Lee.
Rock Lee came walking up smiling and yelling "PLEASE WATCH GAI SENSEI I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD."
"Ok then Lee next we make up the trio as Neji is the Queens pawn."
Neji just walked up calmly not noticing any applause or booing.
"And then we have the king's pawn, please give it up for Sai". Sai walked up and stood in his place and whispered to Neji, "is this a good time to smile?"
"Whatever" was the reply.
Sai blinked and smiled. "Next to Sai we have Kakashi."
Kakashi just appeared in a flash of smoke and started reading. "OK then, the next pawn is Gaara."
Gaara simply walked up looking straight ahead of the board not caring about anything other than to destroy some shinigami. "And the last pawn is… Iruka, give him a hand."
"And now for the King and Queen, Please give it up for Naruto and Hinata."
Naruto smiled coming up on stage, Hinata just started to blush. Ladies and gentlemen the white side.
Konohamaru smiled. "All right Kon what about the black team."
"Well Konohamaru" Kon said. "It would be a lot simpler if I had fingers right about now, but since I don't I have asked Rinrin who is taking a break from dealing bets, if she can read them up for me."
Rinrin smiled being in her human gigai. "Hello everyone let me start by saying that we have had several bets already about who will be the first to die, how many plays it will be until check mate and who it will be the champion, I myself am rooting for the shinigami."
Well let's start whit the queen's side. "The queen's tower is Rangiku Matsumoto."
Rangiku smiled and skipped over to her place, her chest bouncing all over the place making many boys scream in joy.
"Next we have the Queen's knight, everyone's favourite freeloader Renji Abarai."
Renji scowled over at Rinrin for calling him a freeloader but stepped into his place.
"And then we have the queen's bishop Captain Jushiro Ukitake." Ukitake smiled and stood up at his place waving at the audience.
"Skipping the king and queen we have the King´s tower, give it up for Lieutenant Isane Kotetsu."
Isane smiled waving at both her sister in the crowds and up at her captain who she trusted would not let her get into any trouble.
"Next the King´s knight. Let's all welcome Yoruichi to the stage."
Yoruichi grinned a feral grin and ran up to her place glad she was in the action. "And the kings Bishop is… Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya."
Hitsugaya folded his hands and stood at his place, thinking 'this is ridiculous.'
"And now to the pawns, starting whit Rangiku´s pawn Izuru Kira."
Kira smiled unsure but stepped up to his place smiling at Rangiku behind him. "Next to him we have… Kiske Urahara, wow even he gets's to be in the middle of the fighting, I envy him" Rinrin declared.
Then next the Urahara we have, another captain, Shunsui Kyōraku. Ukitake sighed.
He had to look at that pink haori under this game? Just his luck.
"Then we have the queen's pawn; give it up for Orihime Inoue". Orihime smiled as she ran up to her place.
"I will do my best," she promised. And once again we have another captain Rinrin said smiling smugly.
"Give it up for Captain Byakuya Kuchiki as the King´s pawn." Byakuya stood at his place thinking, 'I have a bad feeling on who is the king.'
"Then we have Shiro – chan´s…"
"DON'T CALL ME SHIRO."
"As I said, next we have Shiro – Chan´s pawn, the cute and lovable Momo Hinamori."
"Hi Shiro," Momo said as she stood in front of her friend.
"Stop calling me that" he answered back annoyed.
"Next to Momo we have once again a captain, Captain Soi Fon". Soi Fon smirked as she stood in front of Yoruichi.
'I will do my best to protect her she thought smiling' at Yoruichi.
"And as a last pawn we have Hanataro Yamada." Hanataro smiled glad to feel important for once. "OK then, let's meet our King and queen, drum roll please… And they are Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki."
Rukia and Ichigo smiled, Ichigo the most because Byakuya had to protect him. This was going to be sweet. Rinrin gave the mike back to Kon and he and Konohamaru smiled.
"All right everyone; give it up for the pieces. Now let's get this show on the road, let's start the game"