What follows is the fruition of a moment of inspiration and a font download that made me happy dance around the room when I found it. (Yep, you guessed it - I found Twilight fonts!) I started with an Edward-like thing to say, just as a tester, and then everything else just kind of HAPPENED. (Oh, and a word of warning: since this wasn't written as a story, it's a LIIIIITLE bit out of character. Just so you know.)

On my computer, everything is written in the characters' respective handwriting. However, since FF doesn't SUPPORT those fonts, some adaptations had to be made. Edward's writing is in his own beautiful script, all curly and slanty, which is why when Edward is saying something, it's written in italics. Jacob is a very enthusiastic person, and pretty energetic to boot, so his words are written in ALL CAPS. And, since Bella describes herself as very plain and unextraordinary, there's no special formatting to her words.

Yes, I realize that Edward and Bella and Jacob would never be in the same classroom together, much less sitting NEXT TO each other, but work with me here. It's a hypothetical situation.

So, read this little blurb, review if you have time (whether or not you're logged in), and please: flame me. Within reason, of course. Don't just insult me; tell me how I can make my writing better. Unless, of course, I CAN'T make it better (yeah, right), in which case you could of course shower me with compliments and praise. Your choice. (lol.)

THE FOLLOWING STORY IS RATED -T- FOR MILD REFERENCES TO ADULT THEMES. (See if you can spot them. Tee hee...)

Well, here goes: my first FanFiction story. Yay! XD

-xxx-

Bella, I'm sorry.

For what?

For killing Jacob.

DUDE, I'M RIGHT HERE!

No you're not. You're just an illusion. Shut up.

Edward!

I'm sorry my love. I'll never do it again. I swear it.

Okay good.
...Did you mean about the killing-Jacob part or the being-mean part?

Um. Both.

YEAH, RIGHT.

Go die in a hole!

Edward!

I'm sorry, I can't help myself! You know, mortal enemies and whatnot?

YOU KNOW, BELLS, HE'S GOT A POINT...

I don't care! Stupid mythical creatures. Have you forgotten that I am Switzerland?

SWITZERLAND? DUDE, WTF.

Actually Bella, love... that is slightly ridiculous.

...Ridiculous?

Only slightly.

Oh, I'll give you slightly, Edward. Ridiculous. You guys would know.

Actually, I do know. Remember, I have been on this planet for more than a hundred years...

Okay Edward. Have it your way. I'm sure you won't mind if I drive my truck at a very slight speed.

And I'm sure you won't mind if I spend a rather slight amount of time in that car of yours, Bella.

...What are you saying, exactly?

I'm saying that I have no problem running alongside the truck whenever you go somewhere. Of course, the Volturi might, and then they'd kill me. I hope that won't be too much a problem...

IT WON'T.

Edward!

What did I do?

Oh, sorry. Reflex. What I meant to say was, Jacob!

WHAT, BELLA? YOU GONNA HIT ME AGAIN? OR DO I HAVE TO KISS YOU FOR THAT PRIVILEGE?

Actually, the privilege you will get in return for kissing Bella is my fist in your jaw. Hope you have health insurance.

Ha ha guys, very funny. I'm just about dying from pure laughter. Ha.

NOOOO, BELLA! -GIVES CARDIOPULMONARY RESUSCITATION-

Hey hey hey now, I'll be the only one giving CPR around here, thank you very much.

EVEN IF I'M THE UNCONSCIOUS ONE?

...Okay, can I just take this moment to be a little bit weirded out over here?

You know, I do believe that there's a story about that somewhere. Something about hot dogs and a werewolf with a highly inappropriate name...

I READ THAT! THE WEREWOLF'S NAME WAS JAQUES STRAPP.

OMG that's right! Jeez, I haven't read that story in so long... Where'd you find it?

...I CAN'T REMEMBER. I THINK A FRIEND MIGHT'VE E-MAILED IT TO ME.

Okay, can we please move on to something else now? This conversation is giving me a headache...

Okay, Bella dearest. Do you have any suggestions?

As a matter of fact, I do. I think we should talk about-

LIME-AIDED
SMOOTHIES!

...Um, okay, if you want to...

May I ask what in the world that is?

...I'M NOT REALLY SURE. I JUST KIND OF... BLURTED IT OUT.
BUT IT WAS REALLY FUN TO SAY! xD

... Okay... So, Bella, shall we declare our undying love for each other?

Why yes, Edward, I think that would be quite nice.

OH, GOD. -GAGS.- I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH THIS. J-MAN OUT!

...
Is he gone?

Yep.

...
-Laughs-

-Laughs-

-Laughs-

-Laughs-

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…

-xxx-

So, in case you were wondering, the whole lime-aided smoothies thing got stuck in there when I saw a carton of Lime-Ade with writing on it that looked suspiciously like Jacob's handwriting. I was experimenting. And the reference to an e-mail story comes from a crazy conversation I had with my friend... Well, let's just say we had VERY wild imaginations that day. (For the record, SHE came up with that guy's name, not me...) XD

Let me know if there's any confusion - if so, I'll try to fix it ASAP. But for now, go ahead and click that review button! ;)