Chapter 3

For a couple of minutes, it was difficult to begin. Edward watched my expression carefully, his own soft amber eyes filled with the usual concern. "Tell me," he encouraged, and I sighed, fiddling with the watch on my wrist.

I decided to be straight forward with him, just as he had been with me about his vampire secret. "I'm sick, Edward." I nearly choked on the words, and could feel the tension in the room shift considerably.

"I don't understand," he admitted, and I sat down on the edge of the bed, unable to look him in the eye. I knew if I did, the tears would start to fall, and loosing control was not something I felt comfortable with.

"Before I came to Forks," I continued, "I was diagnosed with cancer."

Silence filled the room, and I very slowly lifted my head.

"Cancer..." Edward repeated the word, testing it, and sat down with me. I felt the lump in my throat growing larger by the second, and knew if he held me, I would snap. "do you still have it, Bella?" he brushed my hair behind my ear, and I shivered a little.

"I went into remission," I continued, "about a year before I moved here. I haven't been feeling right over the past few weeks, so..." I shrugged, and Edward touched my hand.

"That doesn't mean anything," he replied, trying to sound confident, and kissed my forehead with his ice cold lips. "have you been to the doctor yet? Or perhaps Carlisle..."

"Not yet," I replied sadly. "I was going to make an appointment sometime this week, but Alice cornered me."

Edward chuckled, though it was clear the news upset him. "She is just worried, Bella," he said. "I'm glad you decided to tell me sooner rather than later."

"If the cancer is back," I continued, and his eyes widened. "what will you do?"

"Remain by your side every step of the way," Edward promised, and pulled me into his arms, just like always. He took in my scent, which he always described as a sweet and floral, burrying his face against my hair. I clutched his shirt, crisp and clean, between my fingers.

"I'm scared," I whispered, and Edward only hugged my body tighter.

"I'll have Esme make a cup of tea for you," he suggested, and encouraged me to lay down on his large, four poster bed with a dull golden quilt.

"Don't leave me alone," I begged, and he kissed me.

"I'll be back before you can blink," he promised, and I watched as he left. Laying on the mattress, I could hear Edward and Alice conversing in the hallway--she'd clearly been informed of the situation at hand.

I stood up from the bed and moved towards the door, pressing her ear against it. I knew eavesdropping never led to anything good, and unfortunately the Cullens didn't have a choice in the matter.

Edward and Alice kept their voices so low that I could barely hear them, though I felt my throat choking up with tears.

When Edward did return with a mug of tea, his expression was devoid of emotion. I took a sip from the steaming mug after blowing on the water, and placed a hand on his thigh. Even through his bluejeans, I could feel the familiar icy coldness of his skin on my palm.

"Are you okay?" I asked, and he turned to me, his eyes thankfully still the soft amber glow.

"Yes," he promised, and took a gentle hold on my face. I closed my eyes, allowing him to move his touch over my forehead, my lips, the bridge of my nose. Edward eventually placed his lips against mine, though he always had to be mindful not to nibble as I'm sure most human boyfriends would. "Why did you not tell me about this problem before?"

After taking another sip from my teamug, I set it down on his nightstand and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"It wasn't hard to forget after what happened over the past few months," I teased, and he made a face.

"Be serious, Bella." he scolded, and I lowered my head with a sigh.

"To be honest," I continued, "I tried to block it from my mind. It was scary, especially going through all those treatments. Basically, I felt like I was suffering from the stomach flu for four or five months at a time. The nausea and exhaustion were constant, and I did start to loose my hair. Thankfully not much," I added, when I saw Edward's disbelief, and allowed him to stroke my long brown hair, which hung loosely at my shoulders. Rarely did I pull it back into a ponytail, unless it was a hot summer day, and I couldn't stand the heat around my face.

"At least they have treatment for you today," Edward admitted, and I looked at him. "back when I was still a human, if someone had cancer...they normally succumed to the disease."

I shuddered at the thought, and nestled as close to Edward as possible.

"What were you and Alice talking about in the hall before you went to see Esme?" I could tell my sudden news had come as a shock to Edward, and he wasn't quite sure how to handle everything.

"Not very much," he admitted. "she asked how I was doing after you told me, and I..." he swallowed hard. "I'm still not sure."

I released him from my grasp, and squeezed his hands. "We don't know anything yet," I reminded. "I still have to see the doctor, and maybe it's some bug that's going around school."

He nodded in understanding, though the fear still lurked behind the amazing calmness he tried to reveal. "Edward," I whispered. "it's all right. You can show me that you're upset about this."

He sniffed hard and turned his attention towards the window, where another set of storm clouds had begun rolling in. How appropriate, I thought, not wanting to let go of Edward, who seemed to be trying very hard not to fall apart in front of me. In fact, I don't know how often vampires cried, though I'm sure quite often when alone. After all, what a horrible existance to deal with, feeding off of a living being's blood?

"Make this appointment quickly, please?" Edward begged, allowing me to use his cell phone, and I smirked slightly. "I don't think waiting is our best option right now."

"True," I agreed, and he stood up to give me space while I dialed information to get the local doctor's office number. Shortly afterwards, I made an appointment for the following Tuesday after school, and Edward promised to come with me.

"Are you going to tell Charlie about this?" he asked, reading my mind instantly. "from what I've witnessed, I'm assuming he has no idea of what's happening."

"I will," I promised. "but I don't want to worry him, so I'll just say I wanted to schedule an annual check up. It would make sense, considering I just moved here, and I don't have a doctor yet."

Edward didn't smile, and I could tell this was going to be a rough weekend. He played with my hair while we sat together in silence for quite some time, and I used his chest as a pillow.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked, and I craned my neck to look at him.

"Nothing major," I replied, though I could tell he didn't believe me. "okay, I'm scared that the cancer might be back. Should be obvious." I hugged my knees to my chest, and he used his arms to hold my body steady. "And...I keep thinking that when I start being all sick and gross, you won't want anything to do with me. I probably wont smell nearly as good once the chemo starts up."

Edward turned me around so I could face him directly, and he cupped my cheeks in his hands. They were cold, but not cold enough to make me shiver. "I promised I'd always be around to protect you," he began, and I could feel my heart racing in anticipation. "I won't ever leave, Bella, as long as you need me. I wish you'd understand how strong my love is for you."

"You might not be able to protect me from this," I whispered, and he pulled me into another hug.

"Please, let's not be too hasty," he begged. "we don't know what's going to happen yet. I'd rather take this one step at a time."

I nodded in agreement, grateful to have him with me. "Funny," I squeaked, wiping a few tears that decided to escape from my eyes. "I'm more scared about the cancer than I was when James caught upw ith me."

Edward chuckled. "I always wonder about that," he teased, and I slapped him lightly on the arm.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Alice peeked in. "Who's up for some baseball? Looks like it's a perfect night!"

Edward encouraged me to climb off of the bed, and he offered his hand. I took it without hesitation, and gave Alice a grateful look. "Sure," I replied. "I need the destraction."

"Let's go," she said, grinning from ear to ear, and the two of us followed in her wake.