Title:
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Author:
GuiltyRed
Rating:
PG13
Warnings:
Cid's potty-mouth and crack. (Exactly.)
Word
count:
479
Summary:
Ladies' Night Out – more or less.
Prompt:
Final
Fantasy VII, Reeve/Cid: Cross-dressing – "Undercover work
sucks."
"Well? How do I look?"
Cid snorted a laugh and nearly bit through his cigarette. "Don't fuckin' matter how good you look if you sound like goddamn transvestite, Reeve!" He dropped his half-smoked stick to the gravel and pressed it to death with one size-thirteen Glittergold® mule.
Reeve glowered over his bejeweled veil, eyes flashing darkly like an insulted concubine. He cleared his throat, took a fresh breath, and whispered huskily, "Is this better?"
"Oh yeah, much better," Cid grated sarcastically. "Fuckin' whiskey-voiced old whore." He lit up a fresh smoke, then reached back to haul the seam of his pantyhose out of his crack.
"At least I don't look like I just fell off the 'low train'."
Cid shot him an exasperated glare. "Remind me why, exactly, we're doin' this – and why we're not drunk first?"
Reeve regarded his partner-in-crime critically. Cid had actually shaved for the occasion – face only, but the darkness of the hour and the tight weave of the nylons should hide the worst of things. Still, the man looked downright Amazonian, and not of the wet-dream variety. "It's for charity, Cid. Just for showing up like this, our sponsors will donate to the orphan's fund."
"Our sponsors? You mean Rufus-fuckin'-Shinra, I knew he had to have something to do with this, the snot-faced little pervert!" Cid paused to take a long drag on his cigarette. In gratitude for the smoke, his voice dropped another raspy notch as he said, "So it's basically a dare, is that it?"
Reeve reached a hand inside his kimono to adjust his boobs. "Basically."
"Well, don't you two just look loverly!"
Reeve pulled his hand back from his self-adjustment as quickly as if he'd been caught with his hand in the speaker's kimono. "Yuffie! I'm so glad to see you. I was worried we'd have to walk in together…"
Cid rounded on him with a snarl. "Hey, you coward! Ain't nothin' wrong with a couple o' gals goin' stag to a shindig these days!"
Yuffie giggled. "Well, it's all for a good cause, you know!" She flailed suddenly as the heavy Samurai armor she wore threatened to pull her off balance. "Whoa!"
Cid grabbed her by the scruff of the neck. "I hate to say it, but I think Reeve an' me make more convincin' wimmin than you make a man, Little Bit!"
"Good!" Yuffie replied, getting her feet back under her and casting Cid a stern, Samurai-esque scowl. "You can be my wives."
"What!?"
Reeve laughed softly and took Yuffie's arm. "I'd be honored, Master Samurai. Coming, Cid?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm comin'," he grumbled, tottering forward on his statuesque heels. "Not happy 'bout it, but at least I'm an honest woman now…"
Yuffie laughed brightly and virtually bounced as she led the two men to the gate. "You think you're having fun, just wait till you see Vincent!"