Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me; I get a huge amount of profit out of writing these stories, but none of it is monetary.
Note: All credit for this one goes to Kaeru Shisho, who suggested giving the animals a turn…
Warning: Talking animals. A little bit of angst and a lot of sap.
Chapter 52:
Taco, after the incident with Treize:
Hah! I, the most mighty and noble Taco Burrito Quesadilla del Enchillada y Catalonia, have saved Quatre from the nasty macho hombre.. How proud Dorothy will be of me for protecting him! How I sank my teeth into his legs and drank his blood and listened to him scream with pain! I am truly a mighty warrior! El Guerrero!
Nataku (in Zechs' car, on the way to the Palace):
Nataku wasn't used to being ignored. She didn't like it. After several months with Wufei, she'd exactly perfected her attention-gathering techniques but none of them seemed to be working this time.
It was the tall one's fault. In general, she approved of him. He had fur the colour of her own and her human was relaxed around him. She hadn't actually known her human could feel that relaxed actually. Most of the time he was so tense about everything that being around him actually hurt, but he laughed when the new one was around and he felt calm and happy and that was good.
It wasn't good if they were going to ignore her, though. Still, maybe, just for once, she could put up with it. It felt pleasant to be with them when they were both obviously so happy together. Her human was laughing at something, and the blond one had a hand on his knee.
That sort of thing was going to have to stop. Wufei's lap, like all the rest of him, belonged to her and nobody else. Not that she would demean herself by sitting on a mere human, but the option should be there, just in case she decided to indulge him.
Some dogs, like that hairy black and white one with the ridiculous name, were far, far too tolerant of their humans. Foolishness. They had to learn their place and that was that.
She had her human almost trained and now she was going to have to start all over again with this new one.
There would, of course, be certain advantages to having two human slaves. Despite her best efforts, Wufei still insisted on going out every day and leaving her alone, even though he knew perfectly well that he'd return home to a new form of destruction. Some humans took a long time to learn the most basic lesson, and her poor Wufei wasn't very intelligent, even by the low standards of his species.
The tall one might be more amenable to training. She liked spending time with him; he knew exactly how to stroke her ears, and he'd given her those magic treats which had brought such exciting dreams, and he had a good voice. Unlike her poor, confused human, Zechs was perfectly aware of his place in the world, and comfortable with it.
It might work out rather well. It was good for humans to have companions of their own kind. They were weak minded creatures who needed to socialise, and Wufei spent far too much time alone with his silly pieces of paper.
At least this one was better than the one called Trowa, who worked as a VET and who did cruel things to animals. Not just to cats and inferior species, but to dogs. He wouldn't have done at all. He stank of blood and fear and pain, that one. He'd even attempted to smack her nose at one point, but Nataku had taken a fine revenge on his shoes.
The car stopped at a pair of tall gates, which slowly swung open. Nataku jumped up to look out of the window and bark at anyone presumptuous enough to approach, and saw that her humans, far from paying attention to her, as they should, were putting their mouths on each other.
Oh, that was quite enough of that sort of thing! There were limits.
'I think she's jealous.' Zechs pulled her ears gently, laughing at the fluffy bundle which had suddenly arrived in his lap. 'We're going to have to share him, sweetheart.'
Share? Absolutely not. That concept might be acceptable for humans, or cats, but she was a descendant of dogs who had trained emperors. There would be no sharing. Still, it was not unpleasant to have them both stroking her at the same time. Two humans, really, would be more far more beneficial than one.
Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, Zechs lifted her slightly with the other just enough to see out the window. It was an unpardonable liberty; this touching without invitation, but she'd let it pass just this once. He had such warm, capable hands, and they knew the perfect places to scratch. No wonder her Wufei liked being touched by him so much; Zechs presumably knew where humans liked to be scratched too.
'Do you remember this place?'
Nataku's tail waved enthusiastically. Of course she did! It was a wonderful place! Strange, very tall, four-legged creatures that had been terrified of her, and a real cat to chase and a girl and an old man who had sobbed in terror of Nataku's might. Now, they were humans who know their place! There had even been many, many soft things to chew and shred and destroy.
It was a veritable paradise! So much better than her own human's home, which wasn't nearly grand enough for a Chinese aristocrat whose ancestors had lived at the Imperial Court.
But she could be happy in a palace. She and her human both could.
Shinigami (in Heero's Car, on the way home from the Show):
Heero: Do you really think he'll be all right? Should we have gone home with him?
Duo: I think Trowa's got this watch, babe. Unless you fancy taking Quat off to bed, and snuggling up with him? Which I really, really hope you don't.
Shinnie: Here we go again. Fishing for compliments. You're so obvious, Duo.
Heero: You know you're only person I ever want to snuggle with. I'm just worried about him.
Duo: Me too. Shit! I can't believe what that fucker tried to do to him. There's no way he's getting away with it, right?
Heero: Definitely not. We'll do it Quatre's way to start, and if that doesn't work, we'll find something else.
Shinnie: Count me in! I never should have let Quatre away from the flock by himself. Too many wolves out there…it's not safe. I should have been with him, not that little rat.
Duo:Yeah. You might have to stand in line behind Trowa though. He looked ready to kill someone with his bare hands when Quat told him.
Heero: Of course he did. If anyone ever tried to hurt you like that, I'd kill them.
Shinnie: Absolutely. If anyone ever hurt Duo, I'd rip his throat out. Grrr.
Duo:I know this is probably really sick, but it's sort of a turn on when you say stuff like that. Not me being hurt or anything, I can take of myself, but the way you look when you say it. All fierce and predatory. It's very sexy!
Shinnie: Oh, no. Don't start. Can't we just drive home for once without starting all that?
Heero: I like turning you on.
Shinnie: Apparently not. Surprise, surprise. Even when he fell down that hole, he couldn't stop flirting.
Duo: Mmm. You know, you were really hot today when you were in that class. All masterful and commanding and stuff. It sort of made me want to roll over and beg and do anything you wanted me to.
Shinnie: Huh. Masterful! He wouldn't have got anywhere if I hadn't been humouring him. Half the time, he was too busy looking at you to know what he was doing. Lucky I know that stupid obedience test backwards.
Heero:Anything?
Duo: Oh, yeah!
Shinnie: Oh no! Not again! Can't they keep their paws off each other for two minutes?
Heero:*muffled gasp*
Duo: Mmm. I was thinking we could have a bit of fun with that fancy rosette you won. It could be quite the cute little sex accessory.
Shinnie: No! I won that! It's mine, Duo!
Heero: What did you have in mind?
Duo: Well, I was thinking…*leans over and whispers in Heero's ear*
Shinnie: I can still hear you! I have amazing hearing! And I don't want to hear that sort of thing. You're disgusting! Both of you!
Heero (blushing slightly): Hn.
Duo: 'Course it's a loooooong way home. Isn't it? And I've never been very good at being patient and having to wait for stuff.
Shinnie: Eyes on the road, Heero! Not on Duo! Oh, no! We're all going to die! Oh, God. Hands on the wheel! PLease..Duo, how can he concentrate on driving when you're doing that? i'd get into trouble if i tried to lick him there but you get away with everything....
Heero: Oh!
Duo:Is that good for you, baby? Oh, yeah, that feels so amazing!
Shinnie: Stop that, the pair of you! Heero, you're supposed to be driving....not doing that sort of thing. Stop it now!
Duo: Oh wow! Do that again, babe. You know, I bet this is illegal in loads of countries.
Shinnie: It should be! Stop it. Now! Quatre would never do something like this! He has too much decency!
Duo: Heero, since Shinnie's an obedience champ and all now, do you think you could train him not to bark when we're making out?
Shinnie: The cheek of him! Maybe you could train Duo not to make so much noise while you're at it? How can a dog ever sleep with all that moaning and groaning? 'Oh, Heero, do that again. Please. Ooh, Heero. You're so strong. Oh, Heero, I love you so much.' Urgh.
Duo: Shin, if you don't shut the hell up I'lm going out tomorrow to buy a cat.
Maggie (in Trowa's car, on the way back to No. 4, Red Oak Terrace):
There was something wrong. There had been ever since Quatre had gone off by himself to find Taco.
Before then, they'd all been so happy, even if it had been a little scary to be in such a crowded place with so many strange people and animals and smells. She'd been with Quatre though, and he'd picked her up and carried her if he'd noticed her looking frightened.
He was the best human in the whole world, and now he was so sad.
Taco had started to tell a story about a bad man who'd tried to hurt Quatre but Shinnie had made him stop and told her not to listen, and now she wished she had.
It had to have been something really awful though, because Quatre's hand on her head was shaking and he was holding her just a bit too tightly. She didn't care, though, not if it made him feel better, so she just let him hold her and didn't whine or wriggle.
A little part of her was actually glad he was clutching her like that, because it meant she was safe from the CAT. It was in a basket on the back seat; a black, unhappy presence and that was scary because Taco said all cats were evil. Maggie didn't want the cat going back to their house, even though Quatre had wanted it.
The cat belonged to Trowa, and her human had said that it wasn't fair to leave him alone all night.
Quatre was the kindest human in the world, but sometimes he was just a little too kind.
It was good that Trowa was coming home with them. He was always good at making her human feel better. Even hearing his voice on the speaking box made Quatre smile. And Trowa surrounded himself with animals all day and made them well when they were sick. Quatre had told her so, and he'd even saved Taco's life when he'd been choking on the bone from the Bad Bag that her human had told her never to touch.
So maybe he could make humans feel better as well? Maybe he could help her Quatre?
She thought that Trowa was part of whatever was wrong, though. He had one hand tightly wrapped around Quatre's and he was trying to make his voice all calm and nice, but she could tell that deep down he was really mad about something and Trowa didn't normally feel like that.
Maggie thought that maybe it would all be better when they got home. It wasn't though. Quatre vanished upstairs, and Trowa carried the cat into the kitchen and went to make tea. That was good. Her human liked tea. It might make him feel better.
She wanted to run upstairs and check that he was all right, but she didn't really trust the cat in her kitchen, and besides it was a guest, even if it wasn't welcome. Her human had all sorts of rules for guests.
It wasn't a very big cat. It didn't look evil; just a bit scary. And Trowa was there; he could protect her if necessary.
'Hello.'
'Are you a dog?'
'I'm a Cairn Terrier,' Maggie said proudly. It was one of the first things her Uncle Duo had ever said to her, that she was a Cairn and they were a very special breed because they were supposed to be very gay and affectionate*. He'd laughed a lot after that. 'My name's Maggie Raberba Winner.'
'Leo. Leo Barton. Are you going to fight me?'
'My human doesn't like fighting. He thinks it's wrong.'
Leo considered that, sitting squarely on the floor in front of her and twitching his whiskers. 'Why is he so sad? He's been to my house and he wasn't sad then.'
'I'm not sure. Something bad happened. I'm sorry but can you please excuse me? I need to go to him. Please help yourself to the biscuits in my bowl if you're hungry.'
There, Maggie thought, as she raced upstairs. Quatre would be proud of her. She'd been polite and offered refreshments, just the way he did when they had visitors.
He was in the shower, which was odd, because normally he only took showers in the morning. He liked to take long baths in the evening, and play music on the little sound box that Taco said was called a radio and flick bubbles at Maggie to catch.
It wasn't right for him to be having a shower now, and it was too steamy and hot and it all felt wrong.
She was just turning to fetch Trowa when he turned up at the door.
Oh, good! Maybe he could make it all right again.
Trowa just dumped the tray he was holding on the floor and stepped into the shower, clothes and all, and pulled Quatre into his arms.
'Quatre. Honey, that's enough. OK? You're going to rub yourself raw.'
'OK.' Quatre's voice was shaky, not a bit like the way he normally sounded. 'Oh, God, Trowa, I was so scared. I really thought he was going to…to hurt me like that.'
'He didn't, baby. You were amazing. You were so brave and I love you so much.'
'I wasn't brave at all. It was so awful. I was begging him not to hurt me and I pretended to myself that I was only acting so he'd think I was scared but I was terrified really and I keep seeing the way he looked at me.'
He was crying again, and he hardly ever cried. Maggie lay down on the floor, guarding the tray with her human's tea on it, and whined softly. This was horrible. Horrible. She couldn't just run away and leave Quatre, but she didn't know what to do, and at least here she could hear Trowa's voice. There was still that red, sharp edge underneath, like he really, really wanted to hurt somebody but it was soothing and gentle, and her human had stopped crying those awful, wrenching sobs.
They were still clinging together as they got out of the shower, finally, and that was good. Quatre needed someone to hold him and Maggie was too small to do it properly. The world was scary sometimes and it was nice to have someone to hold you and tell you that everything was all right and that they loved you.
She believed in love, and so did Shinnie, who knew everything because he was nearly two, and she never listened to Taco when he said it was stupid. It was wonderful that her human had someone as nice as Trowa, who always had a chewy toy in his pocket and loved playing games.
And Trowa was very, very lucky to have Quatre because Quatre was the best person ever. Even Shinnie, who had two humans of his own, said that her human was special, and he knew because Quatre had helped Uncle Duo to save him from the Bad Place where he'd been before and Quatre was still really his mommy even though he didn't live with him any more.
Quatre slid down to the floor as Trowa let him go to pull off his soaked clothes and Maggie immediately jumped into his lap. She wasn't normally supposed to do that when he wasn't wearing clothes but everything was different tonight.
He didn't seem to mind, cradling her in his arms. He'd stopped shaking, and his voice sounded more like it usually did.
Trowa was smiling when he bent down and put his mouth over Quatre's.
'You two are so cute together. The first time I ever saw you, she was sitting on your lap in the surgery and you were smiling down at her, remember?'
Maggie waved her tail. She remembered. She'd been scared in that new place that smelt so strange. Her whole life had been turned upside down in a few days. She'd been taken away from her mother and sisters, which had been awful, but Uncle Duo and Uncle Heero had been so kind, and she'd met Shinnie for the first time. She'd wanted to stay in their house for always, but Uncle Duo had put a scratchy bow around her neck and said she was going to go to another human who was lonely and needed somebody to love him.
And she had. She loved Quatre with all of her being and now he had Trowa to love him too and he didn't have to be lonely any more, and if anyone else ever tried to hurt him, she'd save him.
Because she loved Trowa too, she jumped down and let him hug her human tightly and say more of those nice words to him, and ran alongside when he picked Quatre up and carried him into their bedroom.
Her human was laughing and protesting that he was perfectly capable of walking but Trowa just put his mouth on his again and licked him – the sort of licking that Maggie wasn't allowed to do.
It was nice having two humans in her bed. Two sets of toes to pounce on, and two laps to snuggle in and Trowa had the most wonderful hair to try to bite. Quatre seemed to enjoy it too, licking Trowa's mouth with his tongue. It wasn't fair that only humans were allowed to do that.
The world wasn't fair, sometimes.
Then she thought of the cat. Downstairs, all by himself, in a strange place, when she had her human and his up here. Quatre would want her to be nice to him, so she ran back down and found him, sitting just where she'd left him under the table.
'Wouldn't you like to come upstairs to our bedroom? You shouldn't stay down here by yourself.'
'I'm all right by myself.'
'Of course you are. But it's much nicer upstairs. We can jump on the bed and play a game if you like. Don't you like jumping on your human's toes? Or we could play chasing? I know lots of games.'
Leo didn't say anything but he stood up and stretched, shaking each leg in turn. 'All right. If you're lonely. How's your human?'
'Better, I think. He's stopped crying. Trowa's helping him, a lot. It's this room. Oh!' Maggie stopped suddenly in the doorway, looking at the two figures on the bed. 'Are they fighting?'
Leo crossed his eyes at her. 'How old are you?'
'Nearly three months. I think.'
'They're playing a human game. Maybe we should go back downstairs.'
Maggie wrinkled her nose. She wasn't very old, but she wasn't a baby. 'Are they mating? My friend says his two humans do that all the time, but I didn't think Quatre knew how.'
'Well, he does,' Leo said dryly.
'Oh, good! I was starting to worry about him!' She trotted over to the end of the bed, finding her cashmere sweater and curling up on it. 'Wouldn't you like to come over here? You can see everything. Do you think they'll have puppies or kittens?'
'Ruff.'
'Meow.'
'Oh, Trowa, stop! I can hear Maggie barking. They're not fighting, are they?'
'Quatre! Shit, not now! I'm just about to...., yes, yes, fine, I'll check…..no, it's OK. They're not fighting. Just playing.'
'Ah. That's so sweet. They're curled up together! Look!'
'Yeah. Really sweet. Honey, d'you think we can get back to what we were doing? Please? Now?'
'Oh, I'm so sorry. Yes, of course we….Oh, Trowa. Oh, God.'
'OK, sweetheart?'
'Very OK. I love you.'
'Love you too.'
Everything did seem to be OK, Maggie decided. Her human felt happy and tired and Trowa was there to take care of him. Leo was nice to snuggle with; he was so soft and warm and maybe Taco had been wrong about how cats liked to rip out dogs' eyes and eat them. Leo had to be a nice cat anyway, if he had a human like Trowa. She wouldn't mind if he wanted to stay and live with them. And maybe Trowa could stay too and then Quatre would always feel happy.
The End.
*I actually have an old book of dog breeds at home which describes Cairns in exactly those words.
I have marked this story as complete, so this is probably a good place to add that, time and inspiration allowing, there may be a sequel at some point.
I also want to thank everyone who's contributed to this story. Wolfje started it all, with a long ago conversation centred on what pets the guys would have. Kaeru Shisho convinced me to continue and then ended up having to proof fifty-plus chapters. Hah! She also contributed a lot of the last lines. Snow gave me advice on the veterinary bits and Alonzo inspired all the llama comments, and even made a cameo appearance.
Massive thanks to everyone for reading this story. I really do appreciate all your reviews, and I especially treasure those from people who said that PL cheered them up on a bad day. That's the highest compliment an author can get, I think!