Pride and Tears

(Chapter 1)

Were his tears enough? Were they enough to make him feel complete, to feel needed? It just seemed as if no matter what he did, the boy would still be left crying. One night of talking turned into flood of sadness. One look would turn into a river of helplessness and no matter what he did, he always ended up angry at himself for making the boy cry. It was his fault and his pride's. Because he couldn't say sorry…

Right now he was in that situation, his blonde love sat on their bed with his hands over his face after a fight. He had to admit it had been a meaningless fight, but still it wasn't his fault that he wanted to keep 'them' a secret, but then again, maybe it was. Maybe this was all his fault, but for now, right now, he had to do something, anything to make this better.

The raven haired boy walked over and sighed heavily, hating to see the tears run down the blonde's arms. He hated seeing him cry like this, but his pride always got in the way, always…Gently, he removed the hands from the boy's face and put the hands in his lap, hoping the boy might look at him so he'd feel even more guilt and regret, maybe enough so that he could say that word, but the blonde, his blonde, kept his head down and his shoulders kept shaking as the tears came faster. Even the touch of his hands made his love cry…

"Naruto…" the boy said softly and the crying increased as if his voice brought the boy pain, "I…"

The blonde pulled his hands away and wiped at his eyes, trying hard to stop the humiliation, but it kept coming. Why was it always like this? Why couldn't he say it?

"I-I can't do this anymore, Sasuke…" he said, looking up with his tear ridden face and the raven beside him was slightly surprised by the words.

"What do you mean…?"

This was his stupidest question yet. He had some nerve asking this and he knew exactly what Naruto meant. He had been building up this moment with every tear and the tension had been growing up to this very instant. His heart clenched at the thought, but his pride wouldn't let him show what he really felt and he saw the hurt building up way too much in his love's eyes.

Naruto shook his head and after having finally stopped the flow of tears, he felt them coming again.

"What do I mean?" he asked in disbelief, "What do you think I mean? This…us…I can't keep going on like this. I don't want to cry anymore…"

As if on cue, the waterworks started and Sasuke sighed as the blonde turned away from him, trying to hide his shame. The raven reached out his hand, placing it on the blonde's shoulder, but anger rose quickly in the blue depths and the boy shoved him away, getting to his feet.

"God, Sasuke!" Naruto cried, "You can't just touch me and think everything is going to be okay! What's the point of loving me if this is how it'll end every night for the rest of our lives?"

A silence ran between them for what seem like forever and Sasuke, as usual, said nothing. He always said nothing and Naruto was always the one who said the words in the relationship, but the blonde was getting tired of saying the words when it didn't seem that any of it was getting into the thick skull of the stoic Uchiha in front of him. He didn't want to complain or argue or cry. It made no difference. Sasuke just wouldn't show emotion.

"I'm leaving…"

The words hit home and Sasuke jumped to his feet as Naruto turned to leave. The boy reached out and grabbed the blonde's arm making him stop mid-step. The blonde turned back, hoping for once to see some emotion or that Sasuke might say something that would make him change his mind, but the boy said nothing, absolutely nothing. His pride just wouldn't let him.

Naruto shook his head in disbelief and jerked his arms away, running out of the room as if all hell might appear on earth and he'd be burned from the pain that he had felt in those few seconds that he had never felt in a lifetime. He didn't stop running and Sasuke never said a thing as he went to his window and watched the blonde run down the street.

The clouds gathered quickly and the rain came with it as if signaling what had just happened. Sasuke remained silent as he watched the water fall from the sky like the tears that had dripped from Naruto's chin. He wondered where the boy was now and he wanted to run out into the rain and scream to the skies and Naruto that he was sorry, but his pride wouldn't let him.

Outside, Naruto wouldn't allow himself to get out of the rain. He was crying again like he had every night this week and he couldn't allow himself to stop. He wanted the rain to cover it all up, but his eyes told the whole story. He wanted to get sick, so sick that he would fall over and die. He wanted Sasuke to feel guilty for making him like this. He wanted the boy to hurt because of it and feel this pain he was feeling from those simple words.

"I'm leaving..."

He wanted him to hurt so much, but in his heart, he wanted Sasuke to be happy and to never feel like this, to leave the pain behind. He was weak and he knew it, but now it meant nothing.

"Naruto?"

Naruto turned his sad eyes to the person now next to him that he hadn't noticed before. The boy's eyes instantly widened and Naruto, almost immediately, turned away, wiping the rain and tears from his face.

"Are you okay?" the boy asked, his bowl-cut seeming nonexistent because of the rain dripping from it, "What happened?"

Lee wrapped an arm around Naruto's shoulders, asking so many questions that the blonde was relieve that someone even cared, so relieved that he cried. He cried into the boy's chest, thankful when Lee didn't pull away and words of comfort came instead of question. This was what he wanted Sasuke to do.

"Come on," Lee said, "I'll take you to my house…We have to get out of the rain or we'll both catch a cold. Then you can tell me what happened, okay?"

Naruto nodded, looking at the boy thankfully and Lee led him down the street, giving a smile as the blonde laid his head on his shoulder. This was what he had wanted more than anything, the both of them…