A/N: This is a new one-shot that I thought up from nothing...just thought it'd be funny to mention 15 pronblems that could go wrong with Sasuke and Naruto's wedding not much but i hope you like anyways.
DISCLAIMER: i own nothing but the plot...or lack of...if i did own naruto..well all im going to say is that they would never have just kissed on episode 3 and the series would be rated M.
WARNING: suggestive themes i guess and yaoi couples. so ya, enjoy
15 Problems with weddings - Sasuke and Naruto style
No.1 - Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki had to spend their last night as an unmarried couple...seperated.
Sasuke and Naruto sat on the couch, just enjoying one of the rare moment when they felt the need to not argue or talk. It was the night before their wedding and although they were supposed to be having a stag night...er two stag nights, they decided to just enjoy each other's presence. Unfortunately for them, their friends had a much different idea. Without warning, Kiba - closely followed by the others - burst through the front door, shouting loudly to gain the attention of both shinobi. Once he spotted the 'happy lovebirds', he proceeded to drag Naruto out of the house and towards the nearest bar, ignoring the protests and death threats thrown his way. Neji had been told to keep Sasuke occupied for the night for his own stag night but due to the lack of interest between both parties, he quickly left, a mere 10 minutes after Kiba and Naruto had gone.
No.2 - Not knowing what your friends will do to your husband-to-be...especially if that friend was Kiba Inuzuka.
Sasuke paced the living room, muttering under his breath - something an Uchiha wouldn't do but Naruto had changed him...and for the better - He ignored the girls, who stood staring at him with matching grins.
"Kiba better not do anything stupid." Sasuke warned, his sharingan swirling threateningly, unfortunately, none of the girls were affected by it anymore so they simply sighed and went to get the drinks from outside.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke questioned once he eyed the crate of alcohol in Ino's hands.
"Well we can't let Naruto and Kiba have all the fun now can we." Temari threw a bottle at Sasuke - who caught it swiftly - and commented,
"Drink up Uchiha, you're gonna need it tomorrow." And with that, Temari, Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Tenten each sat down and drunk the night away, acting less like ladies and more like ladettes. However, Sasuke refused to have more than 3 drinks as he was still too worried about what Kiba was doing to Naruto.
No.3 - One Naruto Uzumaki waking up late, leaving no more than 10 minutes to get ready and get to the chapel before his husband-to-be went on a rampage - thanks to one Kiba Inuzuka.
Iruka shook the sleeping blonde roughly, effectively waking him up.
"Wha-?" Naruto mimbled, his hangover pounding heavily in his head. His sleepy blue eyes raised to meet the angry face of his ex-sensei "Iruka-sensei?"
"Naruto! Why were you still sleeping!? You've only got 10 minutes to get dressed and to the chapel!" Iruka scolded, pulling the blonde to his feet before waking up the others in the room. It took a few moments for the words to process into his mind.
"What!? Why didn't you wake me up sooner!?" Naruto all but screamed, rushing into the bathroom for the quickest shower in his life.
"I tried! You just refused to wake up!" Iruka shot back, a small smile on his face.
No.4 - Having to wear the white tux - which was supposed to be for the party afterwards - because one of your friends had vomited on the black one.
Naruto reached the chair which his outfit was carefully placed and screammed. A manly yell of course. His nice, clean, crisp black tux was ruined. Iruka came rushing in, fearing the worst. They were already 10 mintues late and he had just finished telling Kakashi they would be late.
"What the matter!?" He asked frantically, noting Naruto's blue eyes well up in tears.
"I-I have no-nothing t-to wear Iruka-sensei, the s-suit is r-ruined." Naruto explained, pointing to the black suit covered in yellow vomit.
"Oh no. No need to cry, it'll be fine, you're just going to have to wear your white one."
"B-but Sasuke-teme's going to be angry with me."
"I'm sure he won't mind you wearing the other one but he'll be angry if we don't get there soon." Iruka turned to get the white tux from out of the wardrobe "Now hurry up and put this on." Without another word, Naruto rushed back into the bathroom, his suit in hand.
No.5 - One Sasuke Uchiha blushing and smiling softly at his soon-to-be husband - even if he is 20 minutes late - in his white tux with a soft orange tie causing 75 of the guests to faint, going down like dominoes.
Naruto felt self-conscious as he made his way down the aisle as everyone who was attending was watching him like a hawk. Most of them were Sasuke's fan-club, who were now glaring daggers at him for taking their 'Sasuke-kun' away. He noticed, as his eyes swept cross the guests, the pleased look on Ero-sannin and Tsunade baa-chan's faces, the silly grin Sakura, Temari and Lee were wearing and the satisfied looks in people's eyes as he passed them. His azure eyes moved to the front of the chapel, immediately catching the happy expression's on his ex-sensei's faces but most importantly, his eyes caught a pair of onyx eyes. The very eyes he loves to stare into of the very man he loves with his very being. Naruto could feel his confidence boosting when he saw the normally stoic man blush and smile softly at him. As he returned the smile with his own genuine one, he faintly heard the sounds of someone fainting, followed by many very similar sounds but he payed no attention to them as he continued to stare at the eyes that gave him confidence and security.
No.6 - One Naruto Uzumaki forgetting his hand written vows he swore he had memorised therefore having to take said vows from his pocket and scan through them, remembering them completely this time.
Naruto choked on his words, his eyes widening his shock then narrowing his concentration. Sasuke raised a delicate eyebrow in question making Naruto ten times nervous than before.
"S-Sasuke, I-I-I...we've known e-each other s-since...since...erm..." The one thing he promised himself he wasn't going to do, he did. He forgot his vows. With a hushed curse - which earned an amused smirk from his lover - Naruto ignored the small whispers from the guests and took out his vows, re-reading them carefully, his lips moving as he read them over and over again. Once he knew where he was and what he was going to say, he replaced them back into his pocket, ready to start again.
No.7 - As the priest finishes saying 'If anyone here knows of any reason as to why these two should be wed in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.' one of the village elders expresses his protests towards the marriage between the last Uchiha and the demon child and one Naruto Uzumaki retraining his soon-to-be husband from slaughtering said elder with chidori.
The priest looked up from the two men, who were smiling happily, their hands interlocked and stared into the crowd in front.
"If anyone hear knows of any reason as to why these two should not be wed in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." His voice echoing around the chapel. They waited for a few moments but before The Priest could continue, someone stood up, making their chair fall to the floor.
"I do!" It was a village elder, one that has hated Naruto since he was born "I object to this marriage. It is proposterous! Not only are they both male but one of them is a prodigy, an Uchiha, he needs to continue his clan and the other is evil. The demon child! The Kyuubi!" Sasuke frowned at this but that expression turned livid as he saw the tears gathering at the edges of the blonde man's eyes. "The demon child shouldn't allowed to corrupt the prodigy, he shouldn't even be alive!" The Elder stated, a smirk on his face. Sasuke turned his head to stare directly at the man, his sharingan swirling dangerously, he raised his hands, ready to perform the necessary seals for Chidori when tanned hands grasped his. Shocked onyx eyes stared into pleading blue ones and his expression softened noticably. Almost immediately, half the fangirls and Sakura, Tsunade, Temari and Jiraiya all charged at the one elder, not caring they could be prosecuted or anything and forcefully dragged the man out of the chapel before returning with satisfied grins on their faces.
No.8 - One Kiba Inuzuka nearly losing the rings after the 'I do's have been said.
The priest looked at the two young men, who were willing to give up their life for each other and said,
"Do you, Sasuke Uchiha, take Naruto Uzumaki to be your lawfully wedded er... husband, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do you part?"
"I do."
"And do you, Naruto Uzumaki, take Sasuke Uchiha to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do you part?"
"I do."
"May I have the rings?" The Priest asked Kiba, who was holding onto the rings for them. This, however, seemed to have been a bad choice as the dog-boy started to frantically search his pockets while cursing under his breath. Luckily, he found them in his inside pocket of his jacket. With a sheepish smile, he handed them to The Priest who just smiled amusedly. Passing the rings to Sasuke and Naruto, who then placed them on each other, The Priest smiled widely as he announced,
"I now pronounce you Man and er...Man, you may kiss the er...husband." An with that all said and done, Sasuke bent down ever so slghtly, capturing Naruto's lips in one of the sweetest kisses they've shared.
No.9 - Finding out, at the party, that the wedding cake has already been half eaten, curtesy of one Chouji Akamichi.
Naruto and Sasuke walked hand in hand towards the wedding cake but stopped short.
"Ano, What happened to the cake?" Naruto asked, not noticing Chouji in the far corner, licking his hands and face free of white icing.
"Someone's eaten half of it Dobe." Sasuke replied, his tone amused.
"I can see that but who?"
"That was a lovely cake you guys. I think I ate too much though." Chouji commented, most of the guests snickering at the scene as only Chouji could do it.
"It's lucky I made two then." Sakura sighed but the smile on her face told she was anything but angry.
No.10 - One Gaara Subaku nearly murdering one Kiba Inuzuka for spilling his drink over his husband, Neji Hyuuga.
Kiba stared in shock before bursting out in laughter as he continued to stare at the drenched look of Neji. Said man was controlling himself surprisingly well, shame he couldn't say the same about his husband. Gaara glared at the brunette who continued to laugh at his husband's expense. Before Kiba could blink, sand had surrounded his neck and was now trying to crush his windpipe. The dog-boy gasped for air but found he could have none.
"Kiba." Gaara hissed through his teeth. Neji stood behind his husband and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, burying his face in his fiery red hair. He whispered something to the red-head, which effectively calmed him down and stopped his attack on Kiba.
No.11 - One Neji Hyuuga nearly killing one Kiba Inuzuka after being caught making out with his cousin Hinata Hyuuga - despite the fact the two have been going out for 3 years.
Neji crossed the room, drinks in his hands as he tried to find his lover but to no avail. What he did find however, was not a pretty sight...well to him anyways. Hinata was currently on Kiba lap, playing tonsil tennis with him. Ignoring the fact that the two young adults were going out, he stood over them, causing them to stop their admitions.
"Kiba." he ground out, his byakugan fully active. As he advanced, his cousin placed her hand on his chest, stopping him from going any closer.
"Please Neji-nii-san, you have to stop this, we've been going out for 3 years." Hinata begged, without a stutter or blush. Her own pale eyes filled with determination.
"Fine, please forgive me Hinata-sama." Neji replied before leaving to find his husband again.
No.12 - One blonde Hokge disturbing the speeches by pulverizing one ero-sannin for being a pervert.
Iruka was standing up in front of the guests, drink in hand, with a very happy and wide smile on his face.
"And so, I'd like to raise a toast to the-"
"You PERVERT!" Tsunade screamed as she continuously punched Jiraiya "Don't you dare try to lift up my dress or look down my top again or I will castrate you!" she threatened, not relenting in her beating. Iruka blushed slightly as he coughed dryly to gain everyone's attention.
"As I was saying, I'd like to propose a toast to the happy couple, Sasuke and Naruto!" The guests cheered while raising their glases, ignoring the threats and perverted giggles escaping the two sannin.
No.13 - One Kakashi Hatake telling all the guests, certain events about the 'happy couple' that they had hoped, would stay hidden.
Kakashi giggled as he stared at his ex-students.
"Anyway, I was just on my way to Iruka's when I heard this moan from somewhere in the bushes and I thought 'What the hell? Maybe someone's hurt.' So being the nice guy that I am, I went to investigate and you never guess what I found?" Kakashi had got all the guests, who didn't know about this story hooked as they leaned in closer when he had trailed off. Sasuke and Naruto knew very well what was coming next (no pun intended) and they both blushed a rather lovely shade of red.
"No, what happened next Kakashi-sensei?" One of the other kunoichi asked.
"Well, when I got there, Sasuke was on top of Naruto, who were both semi-nak-"
"Thank you Kakashi." Iruka scolded lightly, covering the older man's mouth with his hand. "No need to share secrets and embarress them even more." Iruka stated, both males looked over at the newly weds' and Naruto had sunk in his seat while Sasuke was covering his face with his hands, both blushing heavily.
No.14 - Being given rather suggestive gifts for your honeymoon, curtesy of your ex-sensei's, Ero-sannin and Kakashi-sensei.
Sakura ran over to the two males with a few wedding presents in her hands.
"Sasuke-kun! Naruto! Open up your presents from Kakashi-sensei and Jiraiya-sama!" She beamed. Sasuke and Naruto shifted their eyes from their pink-haired friend to their ex-sensei's, who were blushing lightly and giggling like a bunch of school girls.
"Erm...I don't think I want to Sakura-chan." Naruto muttered.
"Just open them Naruto!" Sakura ordered with a smack on the head for extra.
"Ouch! Okay, okay, crazy lady." Naruto held his head carefully, already feeling it swell from the force of the hit.
"What was that?" Sakura asked, her fist raised, ready to hit him again.
"Nothing, nothing." Naruto took Jiraiya's presents while Sakura handed Sasuke, Kakashi's. The first present to be opened was from Jiraiya. It was the Karma Sutra. Naruto blushed heavily but continued to open the others. Sasuke smirked at the present but he soon frowned when he saw one of Kakashi's presents. The complete collection of Icha Icha Paradise. Next was another from Jiraiya. This one sent all the blood to Naruto's face as he blushed bright red...he could resemble a ripe tomato. The reason for this was because the gift he had gotten was a fox outfit but it wasn't a normal one. It was one for you to play certain games in. Sasuke smirked as he leaned over to his husband.
"Love to see you in that dobe." he whispered, making sure to breath close to his lover's sensitive ear. Naruto shivered but refused to say anything back as he was still blushing madly. The last present from their ex-sensei's was from Kakashi and was for Sasuke. He was also given an outfit. His didn't seem as...revealing as Naruto's as it consisted of leather trousers (that would leave nothing to the imagination), a black muscle top (to show off his muscles...obviously) and handcuffs...however, neither of the shinobi noticed the fourth part of the outfit until Kakashi told them to look underneath the outfit. And once they did, Naruto's face went even redder...if that was even possible as there was a leather whip placed with the outfit. Sasuke had the decency to blush ever so lightly but he was too busy thinking of what to do with his dobe once they got out of there to really care.
No.15 - One Sasuke Uchiha and one Naruto Uchiha not being able to keep their off or their clothes on, long enough to enjoy the hotel's facilities.
As soon as they walked into the reception area, they were greeted with a short, smiling woman, who greeted them warmly.
"Good evening young sirs and welcome to Juni's hot spring hotel. Have you got a reservation?"
"Sasuke and Naruto Uchiha." Sasuke replied, noticing the goofy smile that crossed his husband's face at the name. The receptionist flicked through a book before she lifted her head and smiled even wider.
"Ah yes, welcome sirs and congratulations on the marriage."
"Thank you." Naruto slipped his hand into Sasuke's, interlacing their fingers.
"Well if you would like to follow me, I'll show you to your room." The two followed the short woman to their room, carrying their bags with them. Before she left them alone, after opening the door and giving them their room key, she said,
"If you need anything, just come and ask at reception, I'd be happy to help and hope you enjoy your stay." Naruto pulled Sasuke into the room and slammed the door shut. With a soft smile, he approached his new husband and circled his arms around the taller man's neck. Sasuke, in response, placed his arms around Naruto's waist.
"Hm, what to do first." Naruto mumbled into Sasuke chest, listening to his lover's heartbeat.
"I love you Naruto Uchiha." Sasuke whispered, making the blonde lift his head to stare into his eyes.
"I love you too Sasuke Uchiha." With a smile, Naruto raised his head to capture the raven's lips, which soon turned heated. Naruto was led backwards towards the bed, where he was lowered carefully. Sasuke climbed on top of him and they continued to kiss. Trailing fingers over sensitive sides and muscles, Sasuke made Naruto shiver and mewl beneath him.
Owari
A/N: please review and I hope you liked it :D