I was bored and I love the Charlie episode so I wrote my own Charlie story :) Just imagine Vince Noir is reading it aloud.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boosh :)

Charlie and the bar of soap

One day when he was out shopping at his local Tescos, Charlie strolled along the aisles pickin' up bits and pieces he needed like eggs, milk and flour.
When he came across the soap shelves he picked up a bright pink bar of soap and dropped it into his trolley.

Later at home, after zoomin' back from Tescos, he put away his shoppin' and turned on the shower. As he was washing he heard a strange little voice calling to him from behind the shower curtain. He drew it back with a shakey hand and looked around the bathroom, by the sink was the bar of soap twinkling in the light. Its bright white eyes were starring back at Charlie with a grin on its small mouth.

"Who are you?" Charlie asked trying to hide himself behind the shower curtain.
"I am Sir Stanley Squeak, I'm a genie." It replied with a little wiggle causing it to slip into the sink.
"But you're a bar of soap!" Charlie replied clearly confused, the soap just smiled and winked a tiny eye.
"Make a wish then!" It giggled and watched Charlie as he furrowed his brow in thought, finally he answered and made his first wish.
"I wish for a hot tub." The Soap screwed up its eyes and wiggled the spot where his nose should be. Suddenly, Charlie was surrounded in an explosion of pink soapy bubbles that tickled his skin, when the bathroom was clear he was sat in a foamy hot tub. Charlie grinned to himself and reached into the sink for the bar of Soap "How many wishes do I get?" He asked letting the Soap sit on the side of the tub.
"As many as you wish until I shrink." Charlie studied Sir Stanley, he had already gotten smaller because of his first wish.
"Okay, I wish for…" Charlie thought for a second "Some nice smelling bubblebaths." Again the Soap wiggled its missing nose and screwed up its eyes then magically, after the bubbles had cleared, there stood a row of colourful bubble bath bottles. Charlie grinned and noticed the Soap had gotten smaller, he reached for the nearest bottle and poured a cap full of the stuff into the water.

After Charlie had bathed for a while he finally chose his next wish; "I wish for a cocktail bar in the kitchen." The Soap screwed up its eyes and wiggled its face as Charlie clambered out of the bath catching Sir Stanley in his hurry. The Soap gasped and slipped under the water with a plop that was slowly swirling down the plug hole. Charlie wrapped a soft towel round himself and hurried off to make his own cocktail.

Early the next morning Charlie woke on the floor of his apartment surrounded by empty cocktail glasses, he struggled up and headed for the bathroom where he splashed cold water on his face. He patted his features dry and glanced at the new hot tub, his eyes focused on the plug hole which was clogged with pink goo. He looked closer and gasped recognising the mess as Sir Stanley Squeak the genie Soap, or what was left of him.
'Oh no!' Charlie thought as he turned on the hot tap and started pushin' the gooey blobs of soap down the plughole. When every trace of Sir Stanley was gone, Charlie searched through his bin for the Soap's wrapper.

With an old discarded Soap wrapper in hand, Charlie ventured back to Tescos in search of another genie soap.