Closer to Heaven

I stand here, waiting. The stone is rough underneath my formal wear, and I can feel Silk's inquisitive eyes resting upon me with their unspoken question.

Laughter and light.

But wherever there is light, there is shadow.

And so, here I lurk, daring to come no further.

***

"She's…beautiful." He whispered reverantly, marveling over her tiny perfection. Each little finger perfectly formed, her large unfocused eyes, the healthy pink blush to her skin…it was a miracle, plain and simple.

Kusakabe Maron was the most beautiful baby Shikaidou Hijiri had ever seen.

"Would you like to hold her?"

Hijiri's eyes widened in a way that took years off of his already youthful face. He couldn't imagine anyone ever wanting to let her go, those cooing giggles intoxicating like the finest vintage wine. You could get drunk on the innocence of that smile. "May I?"

The happy parents smiled at one another; their young friend could be rather strange upon occasion. After all, they hardly would have given the offer if they had intended to retrieve it a few moments later.

"Sure you can." And before Hijiri was completely aware, Maron was cradled in his arms. He stiffened, was he doing this right? He didn't want to hurt her or anything…was there some specific movement he was supposed to make? Was he supporting her back properly? He didn't know what to do!

Almost as if trying to reasure the older man, the little baby girl laughed brightly and reached up to touch a strand of Hijiri's burgandy hair, tugging gently as tendrils threaded between those fingers. Hijiri brought his face lower, only to have Maron's other hand meet his cheek in an insquisitive pat. He shared her bright smile unconciously, teasingly touching the end of her nose and watching her lumious dark eyes try to follow the movements of his fingers clumsily.

She was so tiny, so fragile…

***

Why is this so hard?

It's difficult not to feel bitter.

Angry.

I'm always watching.

A little closer, and I could touch you…

***

"It's okay, don't cry." He reached down to help the sniffling four year-old to her feet. Maron's right knee was a mess, blood flowing in a steady stream from the scrape until it darkened her white socks. "Come inside and I'll clean you up."

Maron looked around nervously; she wasn't too far from home, and the man did seem familiar…there was just something about him. On the other hand, her mom warned her about going with strangers, telling her it was better to be safe than sorry, even though they lived in a very safe neighborhood.

"I can't go with you…I don't know you." She said in a small voice, afraid that the man would get angry; then he would release his comforting grip on her hand and frown down at her, she just knew it!

"That's all right." Noin said quietly, smiling gently. "If it makes you feel better, you can wait on the steps for me while I go up to my apartment and get some bandages."

Maron waited quietly on the stairs, watching the sunset bleed into the horizon, creating a golden sea that seemed to leave the sky awash in flames. True to his word, the man came down a few minutes later, first aid kit in hand.

"But you know, Maron, we're not strangers." He said with comforting assurance as he cleaned the dried blood from her leg. "I've known you since you were a baby. I've worked with your parents for a long time."

"Really?" Maron was curious now, inspecting this man in a new light. "What did I look like when I was little?"

"An angel."

"An angel? Takayama-san just had a baby, she's our nextdoor neighbor, and he didn't look like an angel at all! He was all wrinkly and he cries real loud in the middle of the night!"

"Even angels have difficult times upon occasion…"

***

"Noin-sama? Why aren't you…"

I don't answer.

I'll keep my promise.

As long as it takes.

Watching.

Forever.

***

"Maron? What's wrong?" Miyako turned to her best friend, sighing in irritation. They were going to be late for school if they didn't hurry, and here Maron was looking off into space, almost as if the cars rushing by contained some sort of secret they were whispering in a language only Maron could understand. People continued to walk along, one small boy almost running into the two unmoving girls.

"It's nothing…" Maron finally whispered. "I just felt…I thought I saw…"

"What?" Miyako asked, already frazzled patience reaching her limit.

Maron smiled hesitantly. "It's silly, but I thought I saw someone I knew. A man…he looked familiar, as if I had seen him before…"

Miyako, more jaded than her companion, even at their young age, ran nervous fingers through her dark locks. "Do you think he's been following you? Like some sort of pervert? I could tell my dad…"

"No! Nothing like that…" Maron looked horrified at the thought. "It was just a funny feeling I had, that's all. Let's go!"

And so the two schoolgirls continued on their way, conversation shifting to other things, such as Maron's mother allowing her to spend the night this upcoming Saturday and their plans. When they reached the elementary school, Maron suddenly turned to Miyako once more, expression turning serious.

"Ne, Miyako?" She asked. "Do you think it's possible…well, have you ever felt like there's something protecting you? And it kinda makes you feel warm and safe…but cold…all at the same time…"

Miyako's eyebrows raised, as she motioned for her friend to come inside the school gates. Maron laughed nervously.

"Just forget I said anything…I'm sorry."

"Sometimes you can be awfully strange, Maron…" Miyako said finally, smiling as they ran into the area where their shoes were kept. Maron leaned down to remove her shoes, still retaining a splinter of thought on her youthful face.

***

If he hurts you, I'll kill him.

It's not that hard; I should know.

The look on your face, though…

Sometimes I wonder which one would hurt you more…

Lies or Loss.

***

He was surprised at how sickened he felt as he waited silently, letting the darkness shroud him. The heavy breathing, the steady rhythmic movement of the other man's hand as he peered through the binoculars at a well-lit apartment across the way. Noin had seen many things over the past centuries, had thought himself nearly desensitized to the lowest layers of filth the dregs of humanity slogged through, until he saw something like this all over again.

It had scared him at first…that in his protective zeal he might be no better than this man. However, even when he searched his depths-half afraid of what he might discover-he did not find her sensual, not at this age. He loved her for the delicately cheerful young girl she was now, and for the beautiful woman she would become.

What he was watching now was not love.

And so, Noin's concience did not so much as twinge as he rushed out, snapping the man's neck with a satisfying crunch-the sound of a breaking twig in an urban forest. His smile was the gleaming of city lights as he slit the man's throat, every movement designed to let the man know of his impending death as a crimson flood washed down his chest with faintly protesting gurgles.

He was protecting Maron.

Later that evening…

"Oyasuminasai." A deep whisper of the wind through the trees, as if the night sky itself was saying goodnight to the little girl inside, wrapped inside a comforting cocoon of blankets and sleep.

Noin allowed himself the luxury of watching her steady breathing through the window for a few more moments, before finally flying away upon invisible wings of splintered glass.

A demon guardian angel.

***

You're beautiful like that, purity surrounding you with a light that could only be called holy…

I want to go inside, some part of me still reaching for that glimmer that eludes my grasp.

This is your day, though.

For once, I won't allow my shadow to cast its darkness upon you.

***

Noin supposed he had stayed away for many reasons. He wasn't sure his presence would be welcome by all the parties involved…he didn't think there was anything he could add to the celebration.

He was afraid…

So, the ageless man watched the church from across the street, hands in his pockets, leaning almost nonchalantly against the wall. Silk stood beside him, as close as he dared, trying to give Noin some small measure of comfort. Unsurprisingly, only the barest hints of what the redhead was thinking flickered across his face, a candle in a cold draft.

A few moments later, Maron walked gracefully from the church, lifting up the hem of her white wedding dress and bestowing a radiant smile upon her groom. Nagoya Chiaki returned it easily, with the conviction of one who knows he is loved, and can love in turn.

Noin watched her until they both got into a car, a rain of brightly colored paper washing over the happy couple, cheerful calls and whistles assaulting them brightly as the man leaned over to give his new wife a kiss in full view of the guests.

Noin was there until the last person drove away, the scene before him taking on a sort of desolation as the life drained out of it bit by bit. A chill wind blew some of the confetti his way, mocking him with the small storm.

"Well, Silk, shall we go home?" The words were the same as always, smooth and sweet as chocolate. Silk nodded in reply, giving into his urge to put an arm around the older man's waist. Nothing would ever change his feelings, he would stay beside Noin forever if need be.

Noin made no move to shake him off.

In fact, despite his earlier words, the man made no move at all.

***

Forever.

Itsu ma demo.

owari