So I'm sorry it took forever to update, but that's just the way it worked out. This chapter isn't exactly long, only 3000 words I think, and some would say not much happens, but I think it's an important chapter. I actually really liked how it ended up, despite it being so...boring. lol

To the few that still read and review, thank you very much. I knew going into this that the story wouldn't be all that popular, so I really do appreciate the few that have stuck it out with me so far. I might not update often, but I will finish this, simply because I owe it to you.

Bad Reputation

Chapter 7: Lean on me.

Carmen wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing, but lately that had been a pretty regular feeling for her. She was stumbling around blind for the most part, not sure what was going to happened from one day to the next. For the time being she had a home, had a friend, but she knew that all of that could be lost very easily.

What she was doing right that second was scaring the crap out of her, because doing what she was doing could very easily get her kicked out on her ass, but she felt that it was a risk she was very willing to take.

If doing this one small thing for Kyla was going to get her booted, so be it, she was more than prepared for that consequence. At this point, despite the small amount of time that had passed since she met the small girl, there was nothing she wouldn't do for her if it would benefit Kyla in the end. She owed the girl, who was in her opinion kind to a fault, at least that.

Hence her rifling through drawers at two in the morning while Kyla lay softly snoring on her back, sheets pooling around her waist as she dreamt. Carmen was quiet, her movements slow and careful so as not to disturb, a very necessary talent when living with a father that got upset if you simply breathed too loudly. This was probably the first time she found a silver lining to being slapped around as a kid and she couldn't help smiling at the somewhat morbid thought.

She froze in place when Kyla sighed, the bed squeaking as she turned onto her side facing Carmen's own prone form. Carmen let out a soft sigh of her own when she noted that Kyla was still out cold and that she hadn't managed to somehow wake her. She stayed as she was for another second or two, her eyes trailing over the contours of Kyla's slumbering face and she noted with some surprise that the brunette was more beautiful in sleep, with no make up and hair wildly splayed over pillow and shoulders, than she was awake.

She had to actually take a deep breath and stop herself from crawling closer to push a tendril of hair off the slumbering girl's face.

To her the the rush of tenderness, and dare she say affection, was somewhat weird, but she shook it off and got on with the business of completely invading Kyla's privacy by going through her stuff. It was for a good reason, so she didn't feel much guilt over the whole thing. Kyla would probably see it differently, but she wasn't much bothered by that fact. Carmen was impulsive, sometimes incapable of even the slightest measure of control she knew, so she was used to doing now and paying for it later.

It took her another few minutes before she found what she was looking for and the sight made her heart sink to her feet. There was so much more than just coke in Kyla's drawer and she wondered with panic just how far down the girl had really spiraled.

Carmen had never touched drugs, a surprise to most people who gave her one look and judged her on her clothes and lifestyle, like a painting hobby automatically meant you smoked pot or had to live up to some artsy image. She simply never understood how someone could so willingly give up control and to her that was exactly what doing drugs was.

She had so very little control to begin with that she wouldn't willingly go and give up the rest.

So it was a shock, a sad shock, to note that not only was there a pretty large stash of coke buried under Kyla's fancy, silky underwear, but there were an assortment of tablets as well. Some had little smiley faces on, some looked like prescription drugs and there was even some GHB, some Xanax. Carmen found herself swallowing with some difficulty, the realization what Kyla was really doing to herself speeding up her heart rate with worry, and glanced back towards the bed.

Kyla's face was peaceful, beautiful, and for a second Carmen tried to convince herself that someone who slept so soundlessly, so easily and innocently, wouldn't be doing something like this to herself. Yet the evidence was in the plastic bag in her hand and she couldn't lie to herself, wouldn't lie to herself, because that wouldn't help Kyla any in the end.

She felt somehow older than she was when she stood up, her shoulders heavy with not just her own burden now, but Kyla's as well and felt tiredness seep into her bones. She would do what needed to be done, but she couldn't help wondering if it would be enough.

How could she, when she was noting but broken herself, help fix Kyla?

It was a depressing thought and for the third time that night she seriously thought about running far and fast. She could dump the drugs and leave and maybe that would be the best thing for both of them. It would be for Kyla at least, because Carmen knew in her heart that despite the girls reassurances to the contrary, she herself would bring nothing but trouble to the young socialite.

There would be trouble when Ashley found out what she had done to Spencer, and she knew that the truth would come out eventually without a doubt. When they'd discussed it on the couch after her little trip to psycho's ville, Kyla had been of the opinion that it wouldn't be an issue, but the raven haired girl knew better than to assume that.

Spencer wouldn't keep lying, though it was by omission, to Ashley for long. That was pretty much a fact in Carmen's book and she knew she'd have to prepare for that moment or make sure she was at least a state away by then. The fallout will be huge and it was going to case more tension between the sisters and it would be all Carmen's fault.

Yet she couldn't imagine herself leaving, not when she could remember the feeling of safety when Kyla had held her. It was not a feeling Carmen was used to at all and the experience had left her somehow fragile, wanting. She needed to feel like that again, wanted to just forget every rotten thing in her so far rotten life and just feel safe, warm and cared for.

Kyla made her feel all those things and she was loathe to give it up, even if she knew that eventually she probably would have. For the time being though she just liked that she finally knew what it felt like to have a real friend, someone who was on your side regardless of wrong or right. Carmen had never had that after all.

It was strange how her heart and her mind seemed to fight her on this, one saying stay and one saying go, and she wondered which one would win out in the end. Time would tell she supposed, or the decision would be made for her later by either Kyla or Ashley.

She left the room then, her feet making no noise as she drifted through the large, open plan apartment to the bathroom in the dark. There was a stillness that Carmen enjoyed in the early morning when everyone was asleep and the world, or your little part of it at least, stopped completely. She liked the feeling of timelessness, liked the way the moon broke through the darkness and shone silvery, magically, on everything around her. It always gave her hope that even in the darkest of hours, there was beauty to be found if you took the time to notice it.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

Carmen jumped about a mile into the air and abruptly dropped the plastic bag in her hands, her heart beating furiously in fright. When she turned it was to find Ashley staring at her, her brown eyes incredulous as she took in the now spilt contents of Kyla's goody bag.

The light was flipped on and the curly haired brunette stepped forward, her face set in stone as she flicked her eyes over Carmen again.

"Homeless, but you can afford this shit? I knew it, I fucking knew you were gonna try and milk Kyla for cash, but I must say you're stupider than I though if this is what you blow it on. God, I should have had your ass escorted out of here yesterday myself!" She shook her curls and let her eyes drift over the drugs sprawled on her own bathroom floor again before muttering to herself. "A junkie, that's just perfect."

Carmen felt trapped, unsure of what to say or do. She could tell the truth here, but what would that mean for Kyla? Would this lead to more trouble between Kyla and Ashley? Carmen wasn't sure what Ashley's stance was on drugs, but she knew enough about the girl through Spencer to know she'd dabbled with it herself.

Lying was what got her into so much deep shit already, so she decided to just play it straight from the get go.

"It's not mine."

Ashley stilled, her face showing the beginnings of a disbelieving sneer halted as realization struck her. The simple, soft declaration had seemingly convinced her, maybe because of the sadness that had coated each and every one of Carmen's words or her own instincts, she wasn't sure. Yet somehow she had know almost the minute the words had come from the Carmen that it was the truth, the drugs didn't belong to her.

"It's Kyla's? All of it?"

There was only silence and a small nod of Carmen's dark head as answer. Ashley felt her heart constrict, because she had known Kyla was using something, but the display in front of her was so beyond the extent of what she'd imagined. Her sister was using and she was obviously using a lot. Of everything.

"Aw, fuck."

Carmen became uncomfortable then, seeing that Ashley had for a minute there forgotten that there was anyone else in the cold bathroom with her, because her voice and her face both betrayed how very scared she was in that moment.

She hadn't felt more like an intruder than she did now, standing in that room watching as fear and worry and guilt chased a path across Ashley's attractive face. Yet it was that last emotion, so clear and precise that Carmen couldn't have misunderstood it, that made her shake off her own hesitancy to be there.

"You knew she was using?"

Ashley was startled by her voice, by the cool anger that simmered beneath the words and by the obvious accusation that was thinly veiled. Why hadn't she done something if she knew about it?

"I...yeah, I knew, but...I...Aw, fuck."

Carmen's anger faded as quickly as it had come, her own conscience telling her it wasn't fair to blame Ashley for this. She had obviously not known the extent of her sisters drug habit and to her credit, Kyla didn't look like some strung out junkie that would make it obvious.

Besides, standing there with her hand pressed to her temple, Ashley just looked so...hurt. Carmen figured she didn't have the right to judge the girl, because that's what she was really, what they all were, just young girls. They were supposed to have parents that cared, were supposed to have someone to turn to when the shit hit the fan, but they didn't have that in their lives. Except for Spencer and Carmen thought it was no coincidence that she was the least fucked up one of the lot of them.

"You wanna help me flush this shit down the toilet?"

And then for the first time since meeting Ashley, the brunette looked at her without any dislike or anger in her eyes. She just looked at her, like she was for once putting aside the fact that she had dated Spencer and just saw her. It was scary in a way, because Carmen wasn't sure what she'd see.

Would Ashley be able to see the darkness in her?

"Yeah, yeah I do. I really do."

Without a further word spoken they did just that, threw all of it down the toilet. Carmen didn't want to think of how much the white powder she had tipped into the toilet was worth, or how much of it had already been used. She guessed she wouldn't like the answer much if she heard it.

Ashley looked closely at every tablet she dumped, memorizing each as she recognized them and wondering just how long it had been going on. She couldn't help wondering how she hadn't noticed it before, how she couldn't tell her sister was either high as a kite or close to passing out from sedatives. She had something to pick her up and something to put her down, something to make her forget and something to make her notice everything more acutely.

When the toilet was finally flushed, they simply watched as the potent cocktail of cocaine, speed, liquid x, Xanax and other drugs swirled round on it's way down to the L.A sewage system. Carmen wasn't sure what to say and Ashley didn't want to say anything.

Yet both found themselves saying the same word in unison.

"Thanks."

Then Ashley drifted out the door, intent on climbing back into bed with Spencer and holding her until her heart stopped hurting and the guilt stopped smothering her. She knew that if it wasn't for Spencer, that bag of drugs would probably have been hers. She sometimes got scared when she tried to imagine what her life would have been like if Spencer never moved from Ohio, because before meeting the blond she had been searching for something. Something that she hadn't found with Aiden or any of the girls that had made the trip to her bed and then out her door, and not in the alcohol or drugs that she'd tried.

Ashley knew that if she hadn't met Spencer, if the girl hadn't for some reason fallen as hard for her as she had for Spencer, she would have kept on searching until...well, that was the scary part, wasn't it? She wasn't sure where she would have ended up.

"You okay?"

Spencer's voice was muffled by the pillow she had her face buried in, but her hand was already reaching out towards Ashley where she stood by the side of the bed, watching her.

"Yeah, I just got thirsty."

Spencer nodded halfheartedly and moved over, lifting the sheet and Ashley slipped gratefully underneath it, blinking back tears when a sleep warmed body wrapped around her.

"Spence?"

Spencer didn't react for a few seconds, her breathing steady, then her arms tightened around Ashley.

"Hmm?"

Ashley thought about Kyla, about how she didn't have this, didn't have someone to save her and took a shuddering breath.

"I really love you."

A kiss was sloppily planted against her neck and fingers were intertwined with her own.

"I know."

Then Spencer was asleep and Ashley was left with her guilt, because as much as she wanted to believe Kyla had no one, she knew it wasn't the truth. She had had Ashley, but Ashley simply hadn't been there for her. It was a fact that pretty much broke her heart.

- - -

When Carmen got back to Kyla's room, the girl was still fast asleep, so Carmen got back into bed carefully. She didn't want to disturb Kyla, just wanted to sleep and not have to think about what was going to happen in the morning, or whenever Kyla realized her stash was gone.

Yet sleep wouldn't come and she found herself on her side watching Kyla, her eyes roaming over the smooth planes of her face and the lovely curve of her mouth. Kyla was kind and brave, yet she drowned herself in drugs like a coward. She was beautiful and smarter than Carmen had originally thought, yet according to the gossip magazines she had dated a squinty eyed asshole and without thinking much about it picked up a homeless person.

Kyla was a walking contrast and Carmen found herself intrigued by it all.

She wanted the chance to work it all out, to really know Kyla. More than that though she wished she could help her, wished that their little arrangement of being each other's 'sponsor' would work out. It was the first time since Spencer that she let herself want something and the thought that it could end up the same way as that fiasco had, scared her.

She pushed the fear down though, just like she pushed the need to run away, and let herself slip just a few inches closer to Kyla. She could feel her presence, her heat, and that was good enough for tonight. Still she didn't move when Kyla moved a few inches herself, when a hand landed on her stomach and stayed there, a single point of contact that seemed to flood her with warmth and that same feeling of safety that she'd experienced on that couch.

"I'm here for you, Kyla. As long as you need me, I'll be here."

She would take what she could get, for as long as she could get it and give back as best she could. All she could really give Kyla was herself, her support, so she would. With that resolve she stretched her own hand over Kyla's and closed her eyes, sleep claiming her quickly.

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

- Lean on me, Bill Withers

- - -

So there, it was mostly set up, but like I mentioned I actually liked this chapter despite it having no interaction between Carmen and Kyla.

I hope the few of you that read it enjoyed it and I would love to hear your thoughts if you care to share. Like, am I going to slowly with the whole progression of their relationship? Or is my snails pace okay?

Like I said, if you have thoughts, do share them;)