So I had a dream, and this was more or less it. The introduction is in Zack's POV, and the rest is Third Person. This may or may not continue to be the format.

Linebreaks are Death Cab for Cutie songs. I'm borrowing Narrow Stairs from my best friend right now, and it's great. Check it out if you like that kind of music.

Allergy Information: Mainly awkward situations and language for this chapter.

Enter Leon, wealthy, handsome, young businessman with many potential wives constantly after him. Despite this, along with his success and charm, he's remained single since before I began working for him three years ago. His wife of only two years, Rinoa, had passed away and he hadn't wanted their enormous home all to himself-- not when he would be alone for the first time in ages. Therefore, he hired a bunch of "housekeepers." Rather than cleaning and such, our job was more to keep him company, even on the occasions where he was brooding and would rather be left alone.

Now enter my boy Cloud, a fellow housekeeper. Cloud's a real cutie, but he can be sort of dense, especially when it comes to emotions. In fact, he was so terribly dense that he had absolutely no idea our gorgeous employer was pining after him. It didn't help that Cloud always found a reason to bend over in the brunet's presence-- and the worst part was that it wasn't even intentional! He was driving poor Leon mad-- after all, the man had just turned twenty-five. Three years of celibacy was not fun, especially that young (not that I was old; nope, I was just fine being twenty-eight).So I talked Leon into a makeover, to help Cloud realize exactly how alluring our employer was. Not that I pined after him or anything. Nope. I was straight as a sponge-- the ocean kind. …aw, shit, sponges are asexual, aren't they?

--iwillpossessyourheart--

Leon winced when he saw what he was supposed to wear. Zack merely grinned at him.

"Zack, no. I agreed to a change in wardrobe, not--"

"This is a change in wardrobe."

"No, it's a torture device," he stated firmly, glaring at the garment held in Zack's hands.

"A torture device that will help you get into Cloud's pants. He has a leather fetish."

"You don't know that!" Leon exclaimed, exasperated.

"Oh, come on, he has to. All masochists do."

"You don't even know that he's a masochist, Zack," he sighed out.

"Sure I do. He dated Aerith."

"Aerith was too nice to be a sadist. Sorry to disappoint."

"Yeah, but she broke his heart so many times that it was stupid to keep going after her, unless he enjoyed it. So there. Suck it up and be a man."

"…" Leon continued to glare at the leather pants Zack was holding up. "This once. And if I don't get a reaction out of him, I will maim you." Zack nearly squealed but restrained himself. He handed over the pants, and Leon took them none too gently and went to the attached bathroom (they were in Leon's bedroom) to change. When he came out, Zack applauded. "I feel retarded," he announced.

"Well, you look just fine. Now, we need a shirt…" Zack scanned through Leon's closet. "Do you have nothing but suits? Honestly… when you start fucking my best friend, he's going to be disappointed. You and I will go shopping before you have sex with him."

"Do you have to use such… crude words?"

"Well, are you in love?"

"…no…"

"Then it's not making love. What else do you want me to call it? 'Coitis' is a bit scientific. And 'intercourse' just sounds weird."

"…whatever."

"Um, I can't find a shirt to go with that… here, just take mine." Zack stripped off his shirt as Leon also did, ignored that he definitely felt self-conscious at the other's toned everything, and exchanged his normal black cotton shirt with Leon's white business one. The shirt looked good on him. "Hm, it looks good, but… something's still missing…" Zack tapped his lips thoughtfully. "Oh! Your hair's all wrong. We'll have to fix that. And a bit of eyeliner wouldn't do any harm."

"I really don't trust you messing with my face…" Leon objected sincerely.

"Sweetie, I took cosmetology in high school. You'll be fine." Leon edged a bit away from the very clumsy housekeeper but made no other opposition. "Okay, you just sit right there," Zack motioned to the bed, "While I go find some scissors and stuff."

Leon sat, idly fumbling with his hands. Zack soon returned with scissors, a spray bottle full of water, and eyeliner. "So I was thinking," Zack began as he shut the door, "We should layer your hair. It'd look good. Maybe take a bit more off the bangs." Leon nodded. He really didn't know anything about hairstyling. He was completely in the dark on this one. And he really wasn't secure with Zack being the one to do this. The blind leading the blind, and all that. "Okay, um… a towel. I need a towel."

"The closet over there. Left side." Leon pointed out the double-door closet just outside the bathroom. Zack got a white towel and draped it over Leon's shoulders, lifting his hair out from under it. Immediately, Zack began spritzing and measuring and snipping. Leon realized this was the closest anyone had ever been in a while, but he didn't protest. It was sort of nice, really, being touched.

"Hey, boss, I was just wondering… how'd you get your scar? If you don't mind me asking, that is…"

"Oh… no, it's fine. You're actually the first one to ask."

"No offence, but I think everyone else might be a bit intimidated."

"Yeah, probably." Leon chuckled. "I got it when I was little. My stepfather… wasn't always nice."

"Mm," Zack hummed in understanding. He'd been there before. "Is… he still around?"

"I don't know. He didn't get put away, if that's what you're asking. My mom was too scared."

"What about her? Is she okay?"

"She died with Rinoa."

"Oh. I'm… sorry. I shouldn't have gone there."

Leon shrugged. "You didn't know. And I really have gotten over the pain stage. It's depressing, yes, but there's nothing I can do about it anymore. I'm moving on."

"I'm glad. When I first got here, you were a wreck. Don't get me wrong-- I would be, too-- but, gods, you were bad." Zack took a step back to admire his work. "Ooh, I like it. Take a look."

Leon moved over to the full-length mirror, idly messing with his hair. "I look… weird."

"You look fine, and you'll get used to it. Now come over here and let me do your eyeliner." Leon frowned, but did as instructed. He sat on the bed. When Zack was moving to begin applying the charcoal eyeliner, he tripped-- over nothing, the idiot-- and fell into Leon, who, in turn, fell backwards onto the bed.

"You're very… hard…" Zack mumbled into Leon's shoulder. Leon grunted in response, and Zack got the message to get off. He waited for Leon to sit back up before smiling apologetically. Leon rolled his eyes. "Okay, now, stay still."

"No! You are not getting that thing anywhere near me!"

"Take it like a man, babe." If all else fails, challenge Leon's masculinity. It works. Always.

Zack very carefully lined Leon's eyes before smudging it slightly. "There. Now, was that so bad?" Leon glared and went to get up, but stubbed his toe on a nearby chair.

"Ah, fuck!"

"Oh, calm down, you big baby."

"Shut up, Zack! That fucking hurt!"

"You'll be fine. You're not bleeding or anything."

"Walking is going to hurt like hell."

"Eh, you'll get through it." Leon merely glared. "Well, my work here is done." Zack took his leave, and ran directly into a very flustered blonde.

--nosunlight--

Cloud had been walking down the hallway when he'd heard some very suggestive stuff coming from his employer's room. "You're very… hard." Naturally, the blonde stopped. That sounded sort of like Zack. Huh. There was a grunt, which sounded a lot like Leon.

"Okay, now, stay still." Cloud raised an eyebrow."No! You are not getting that thing anywhere near me!" That's… odd…

"Take it like a man, babe." Okay, that was definitely Zack. There was a pause, in which Cloud assumed Zack was… ahem…"There, now was that so bad?"

"Ah, fuck!" Yep. Definitely Leon.

"Oh, calm down, you big baby." Hoooly shit. That meant…

"Shut up, Zack! That fucking hurt!" Oh, gods… Leon and Zack…

"You'll be fine. You're not bleeding or anything."

"Walking is going to hurt like hell." Cloud squirmed. He shouldn't be out here.

"Eh, you'll get through it." Uh, what was he doing again? Erm… Oh, shit. Towels. He was taking towels to Leon. He glanced back down at the pile. He might need more towels, from the sounds of it. "Well, my work here is done." Oh, fuck. Zack was coming out. There was nowhere to hide, either…

Zack opened the door, and promptly ran into Cloud. A very flustered Cloud. "Oh, gods… You and Leon…"

"What?"

"You guys were…" Cloud squeaked.

Zack's eyes widened, understanding. "Oh, no. No, no, no, nonono. I was just--"

"No, don't tell me!" Zack looked down by chance. Oh, great, he was even wearing Leon's shirt. And it wasn't buttoned. And now Cloud, whom Leon was supposed to be winning over, thought either that Leon was a slut or unavailable.

"Z-Zack, can you take these towels in there?"

"No. You do it."

"I don't want to go in there," Cloud whined. "That'd be so awkward…"

"What's awkward?" Leon suddenly appeared. Cloud squeaked.

"Cloud thinks that we… were…"

"Oh, no. No, no, no, nonono. He was just--"

"No, don't tell me!" Whoa, déjà vu much?

"Cloud, calm down. I swear we weren't having sex," Zack said. Cloud calmed down. Zack always told the truth. He was incapable of lying. "I was giving him a makeover, that's all. I promise."

"Oh-oh… That's really embarrassing… For me, I mean…" Cloud slowly got quieter and quieter.

"Well, what do you think?" Zack asked. Cloud looked up. "Of Leon?"

"O-oh…" Cloud finally, really, looked at him. Immediately, he could feel the heat rushing to his face, and he lost the ability to swallow properly. "H-he looks go-good." Cloud looked back down at the towels and thrust them nervously at the brunet. "U-um, here you go, L-Leon." He then scampered off, presumably to the living room, where most of the housekeepers usually hung out until after dinner.

"That was… weird."

"Oh, Cloud gets really nervous when he's around people he thinks are attractive. You should've seen him when he met Aerith. He ended up spilling coffee all over the two of them. It was funny, but sort of pitiful."

"So, does that mean I'm in, or what?"

"No, it means he finds you attractive. Pay attention. Now all you have to do is get him to be a little more relaxed around you, charm him, and tell him you've been hopelessly pining after him for a year, and then you're in."

"Can I leave off the 'hopelessly pining' part?"

"No. Cloud needs to know that he's not the only one that does that. He deserves that much. Besides, it will make him a little more confident."

"Okay…" Leon sighed. "I have a feeling this is going to be a lot harder than you say it is."

"You never know with Cloud." They stood in silence for a minute before Zack straightened and began the trek to the living room.

"Oh, and Leon," he called back. "You'd better get started."

Leon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This was not going to be very fun.

That was fun. Awkward situations are fun.

Anyways, I mainly just posted this to see the response. If it's liked, I'll continue. If not, I won't. I have plenty other things to do, but I'm not going to stop writing if people like it. And it's not like writing it isn't enjoyable. So... yeah, feedback is appreciated.