Long ago in the far-off land of 2007, I came under a state of mind known only to the public as "boredom". As such, I wrote these short stories about Luigi, one of my favorite characters in the Mario series. After that, they pretty much were lost to the world.
But by dumb luck they were found again. After rereading them and getting some laughs I decided to post them on this site to see what the rest of the world thought. These first 9 chapters are the original stories I had written. Without these, this series would not exist.
Luigi: (Waiting by the mail box) Whistling...(looks at his watch)...(Scratches ear)...(Hums "It's a small world after all")...
Parakarry: Mail Ca-
Luigi: (Grabs the mail straight out of his bag and runs inside) (Slams the door)
Parakarry: ... (leaves)
Luigi: (At the table rifling through the letters) Oh boy-Oh boy-Oh boy-Oh boy-Oh boy-Oh boy
Mario: (Covered in junk mail, looking angrily at his Mushroom Munchies that have also been vandalized with junk mail)
Luigi: Sorry. I just heard that I was put in a feature article in this month's "Fungi Cap" Magazine. And I can't wait to see it!
Mario: (Lifts a soggy magazine out of his soiled cereal)
Luigi: GASP That's it! Gimme! (Looks at the cover) HEY!! (Zoom in on magazine cover featuring Luigi in his underwear twirling his shirt over his head and the headline "God's top ten mistakes) Where'd they get that picture??
Mario: (Looking Sheepish)
Luigi: You didn't! I'm gonna-
Parakarry: (In the window) Important letter for Mr. Mario!
Mario: (Raises his hand)
Parakarry: It also says "The green one"
Luigi: That'd be me. (Snatches the letter) Probably an apology from that stupid "Fungi Cap" Magazine... No wait, it's from...Daisy??
Parakarry: OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooohh...
Luigi: (Reading from the letter) "Dear Luigi, Lately all I've been able to think about is you and your sexy 'stache. Won't you and your handsomely chiseled figure come by my place sometime, I'd very much like to get to know you better over Dinner and a Movie. Yours forever- Daisy"
"P.S. Please wear your stylish yellow and purple polka-dot jumpsuit under a frilly pink dress. You'll know why when you get here."
Luigi: Awesome! I'm going on a date with Daisy! What date plans do you two have. Nada! But I have a date with Daisy! Read it and weep! BOO-YAH!! (Runs out the door)
Parakarry and Mario: ... (Coyly give each other the knuckle touch)
At Daisy's castle
Door Bell: (rings)
Daisy: (From inside) I'll get it... (Opens the door) Hello-
Luigi: (Leaning on the wall with a pink dress on and a sexy look on his face) Hey Daisy, you like-a my 'stache that blows in the wind like a...uh... something sexy that blows in the wind? Does it not consume your every waking thought? Well go ahead (Luigi leans in close to Daisy with his lips stretched out) (Whispering) Touch it...
Daisy: 0.O ...
Luigi: Tell me what stuns you, is it my girly good looks (Rips off the dress too reveal a hideous yellow and purple polka-dot jumpsuit) or my manly good looks.
Daisy: ...Security!!
Luigi: Wait! Didn't you tell me to do these things?
Daisy: Uh, No!
Luigi: But I got a letter from you.
Daisy: I'm sorry, but I never sent you a letter.
Luigi: (Sadly) Oh... Sorry for wasting your time, I just thought that I finally had a chance to impress you. (Starts to leave)
Daisy: Wait, do you want to come in for a second?
Luigi: (Perking up) Really?? I mean, sure. But I thought you were thoroughly creeped out.
Daisy: I was, but that was a misunderstanding. And for some reason you seem interesting.
Luigi couldn't believe his luck. Finally after all this time fate would smile upon him instead of toy with him. He enjoyed the time he spent with Daisy, and Luigi was thoroughly convinced there was no other guy on earth luckier than him right now.
Daisy: (Giggling) So, so you were actually pummeled by the other team's quarter back because you mistook his mother for a dog?
Luigi: Yeah, and I wasn't even playing. I was the mascot.
Daisy: (Laughs) Sigh You know Luigi, nobody else can make me laugh like you do. And I mean that in a good way- Oh, hi Charming.
Luigi: Charming? (Turns around to see a handsome man in regal clothing)
Daisy: Luigi, I'd like you to meet someone very dear to me, Prince Charming.
Charming: Me and Daisy have known each other for a very long time, and any friend of her's is a friend of mine.
Luigi: (Confused) Friend??
Luigi was thoroughly convinced that there was no other guy on earth unluckier than him right now. All this time Luigi thought that Daisy was starting to like him, when she already had a boyfriend. Wait a minute, he didn't really know for sure they were a couple.
Charming: Me and Daisy were just discussing what we were going to do when we become queen and king.
Dang! Oh well. Back at the Mario house Mario and Parakarry were chillin' on the couch
Parakarry: Whoa! Can you really use twinkies like that and still be edible?
Mario: (Nods his head with a face that says "Oh yeah")
Parakarry: (Amazed) Wow. All this time and I thought you could only do it with a plunger.
Door: (Opens and Slams)
Parakarry: Hey Casanova, (snickers) how was your time with Daisy?
Luigi: Could you guys do me a favor, and just don't talk to me? (Walks off sadly)
Audience: (Sympathy "Oooooh")
Parakary: Oh come on Luigi, we were just have some fun! (Walks into the kitchen after Luigi) What's the matter with you any way?
Luigi: (Lifts his head out of his pile of Oreo Cookies) (Whiny voice) Daisy has a boy friend! And someone licked the middle out of every Oreo cookie!! (Plops his head down again)
Parakarry: Ooh, you really like this girl don't you?
Luigi: (Not pulling his head out) Muffled "Yeah".
Parakarry: Well I'm going to help you win her heart, and with my help she won't be able to resist you. Are you with me?
Luigi: (Not lifting his head up) ...
Parakarry: Hey! Are you breathing?
Luigi: ...
The next morning
Parakarry: Mail Call!
(Nobody comes out the door)
Parakarry: ... I said, "MAIL CALL!!"
(Still no answer)
Parakarry: ...(Goes into the house) Where's Luigi?
Mario: (Points to the kitchen)
Parakarry: (Goes into the kitchen to find a repulsive Luigi slumped over in the fridge door) Great Goombas! What are you doing?
Luigi: Drowning my sorrows in chocolate fudge. Gurgle
Parakarry: Well you better clean yourself up, because today you'll be battling for Daisy's love.
Luigi: Huh?
Parakarry: I swear it's not a trick this time. You have to be at the warehouse at 3:00 PM for your duel
Luigi: Duel?
Parakarry: That's what charming called it. I'm sure it won't be an actual sword fight. Well, I'll give it 50/50. Or more likely 90/10. Fine it's a sword fight, what else do you want from me?
Luigi: A way out!
Parakarry: Dude, if you back out now, you may never have another chance at Daisy. So are you going to chicken out and spend every night of your life wishing you had gone, or are you going to duel with Charming and take the risk of being killed while trying to impress Daisy even though there's only a small chance of her liking you back?
Luigi: ...
At the warehouse
Luigi: (Walking into the dark empty warehouse) Charming? I know your in here, so stop trying to freak me out. (Lights up his Plastic Star Wars lightsaber toy) I'm not scared, so you might as well cut it out!
Loud Voice: And now it's time for everyone's favorite game show; "Wall of Choosing"!
Lights: (Come on to reveal a live audience and a game show set consisting of 3 chairs to the right of a wall)
Loud Voice: Where 3 contestants sit behind a wall and answer questions from our lovely contestant. Then whoever she chooses will get a fabulous date with our lucky girl. And now, here's your host, Prince Peasley
Prince Peasley: Hello, and welcome to-
Audience: "Wall of Choosing"! (Cheering)
Prince Peasley: Today's contestants are; Yoshi
Spotlight: (Reveals Yoshi from the darkness)
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Prince Peasely: Prince Charming!
Prince Charming: Hello ladies.
Women in the audience: Sigh
Prince Peasley: and, Luigi!
Luigi: Hello Ladies.
Women in the audience: Eww!
Prince Peasley: And now let's bring our fair maiden out to the stage, Princess Daisy!
Audience: (Cheers)
Prince Peasley: Since she just came from our sound proof room, Daisy has no idea who these guys are, not even their names are known to her. Let's get started from the first question, Daisy.
Princess Daisy: If you had a choice between me and freedom, which would you choose?
Yoshi: ...yoshi?
Translator: Umm, freedom?
Prince Charming: Some things are better than freedom
Audience: (Cheers)
Luigi: It depends which one will provide more doodlecakes.
Daisy: If I were kidnapped by a monster what would you do?
Yoshi: yoshi
Translator: Get Mario.
Luigi: Dang! That was mine!
Charming: I would, of course, fight my way to the ends of the earth for you.
Audience: (More Cheers)
Luigi: Oh come on! I bet he has those lines written on his hand! How do we know you're not just saying that?
Charming: Well if you kidnapped Princess Daisy then we'd find out wouldn't we?
Audience: OOOOooooh.
Luigi: ...That retort doesn't even make sense.
Toadette in the audience: Who cares?? He's totally HOT!!
women in audience: (Cheers in agreement)
Daisy: If you had a gross mustache that you thought was sexy, would you shave it off for me?
Yoshi: Yoshi
Translator: Sure
Charming: Of course
Luigi: Hey-Hey-Whoa-Whoa-Hey!! We're not going out yet and you're already asking me to shave off Bob?
Charming: You named your Mustache Bob??
Luigi: Well I was tied between Bob and Luigi Jr., but I felt that my mustache deserved it's own name.
Charming: (Scoots his chair away)
Prince Peasley: It's time to choose Daisy, who do you want to go out with?
Daisy: I really like #2, so I think I'll go with him.
Prince Peasley: Well here he is, (Wall rises) Prince Charming! A good choice I would like to add.
Princess Daisy: Eww! I'm not going to date my cousin!
Luigi and audience: COUSIN??
Yoshi: YOSHI??
Translator: Cousin??
Luigi: Wait, so you guys aren't going out?
Daisy: No, of course not! Why would you think that?
Luigi: Because he was over at your house-
Daisy: He's staying with me for the week while his castle gets repaired.
Luigi: But you two were talking about what you two would do as queen and king
Daisy: Of our own countries. We were sharing ideas so we could be even better royalty.
Luigi: Oh. So why did Charming even come on the show
Charming: To prevent filth like you dating my dear cousin. I mean, what's up with naming your mustache?
Daisy: That's enough Charming! I don't need you "Protecting me", especially from someone that I kinda like
Everyone but Daisy: Huh!?
Daisy: Well, he's kinda cute, and no one else makes me laugh as much as him.
Luigi: So, do you want to go get a mocha with me then?
Daisy: Sure (Leaves with Luigi who can't believe this is really happening)
Prince Peasley: (Shocked) Well, I guess you have it. She went out with Luigi and Bob even though she chose Charming who turned out to be her cousin, and all the while Yoshi was carrying both of their babies!
Camera: Shows Yoshi leaving the studio with baby daisy and baby luigi on his back
Peasly: Tune in next time, where we'll hopefully have a normal show. Good night. (Leaves the stage in
disbelief)