I don't own Maxi-Pad Rude. Uhh... I mean Maximum Ride.

Beware, this fic is filled with angst, tragedy, deception and heart breaking romance. Oneshot.

One day…

Max died from a heart attack, due to extensive use of steroids.

Two days later, Fang swallowed 159 painkillers, unable to take the fierce aching in heart from the loss of Max.

A week later, after Fang's funeral, Total decided to go out for a fly. He didn't care about Max and Fang, and thought it was stupid of everyone else to be so upset. He ran of a cliff, dropped a few feet and began to fly…

Akila saw Total jump off the cliff, and thought he fell. Being the rescue dog she was, she jumped after Total, and fell into a thousand jagged rocks.

After seeing his lover fall, Total bit off his wings and fell after her. He never had a chance to tell her that he was pregnant.

As soon as Angel heard of Total and Akila's death, and the loss of their puppies, Angel killed herself by ordering herself to die.

By then, Iggy just couldn't handle Fang being dead, because he was in love with him. The next day he covered himself in gasoline, and set himself on fire. It was a tribute to how badly he had been burned from losing Fang to Max.

Nudge, seeing Iggy aflame, tried to save him, but accidentally swallowed fire. This burned her tongue and vocal cords into something that resembled a disfigured cat, and became mute. Devastated by the loss of her voice, and the no longer able to handle the death of Max- her long time crush, she threw herself into the river and drowned.

Five days later, Gazzy just couldn't handle being alone. He had the hots for Iggy, was madly in love with Nudge and missed beating up Angel! Unable to wallow in his despair any longer, he built a bomb, and blew himself up.

Unfortunately, Gazzy wasn't as good at making bombs as Iggy.

When he set off the bomb that killed himself, he accidentally destroyed the rest of the planet as well.

Nothing survived, except for Omega who was bomb-proof, and he lived the rest of his life as a hermit in a non-existent cave reading FanFiction, which also survived because… nothing can destroy FanFiction, not even FanFiction itself. That's just the way it is.

Hence the apocalypse.

THE END.

I hope I get some really good flames for this. I could use a good laugh... I'll be posting an angsty Omega-shot soon (non-pardy :P), a second chapter of Beautiful, and maybe an actual serious version of this, for my amusement...

Please review! :P