Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Zoey 101, or Chase and Logan… But I do own this story and that makes it okay for me to play around with them all I want! Yay!
For the longest time now, I've felt like I was going the wrong way down a one way street. Everything felt wrong, and nothing made sense, and it didn't make sense because it was forced. It was a reality that was forced upon me by myself; provoked by the fear of rejection by my peers were they to know the truth. But now, I don't know who I am anymore. I can't look into the mirror without wondering who it is looking back at me. I was lost, and it felt like there was no salvation in sight, until something became clear. The one thing that I had been running from was indeed the only thing that had the power to save me. If I could admit to my feelings, maybe this emptiness and confusion would go away. Maybe I could leave this horrible place in my mind and find my happiness, at his side. But there was one thing standing in my way, and that was me.
The first day of school was always a cakewalk for me, but something had changed this year. Something was different. The grass was greener, and the campus felt livelier than before. But that wasn't it. It was a more subtle change. There wasn't any time to waste pondering the possibilities, because I couldn't contain my desire to see him again.
The same door from the past two years was here, and beyond was a room filled with memories, and filled with the opportunity I so desperately needed. I opened the door to find Chase there. Like everything else, something was different. Taller? Longer hair? No. It was his eyes. They were brighter this time around. To my surprise, the deadweight that had been following him for as long as I could remember was gone. Perhaps that was the reason for his renewed spirit.
"Are you going to stare at me forever? Cause I'll start charging you per minute." He said with his usually cheery disposition.
"I wasn't staring at you. I was just thinking about how good I'd look in that shirt."
Granted it wasn't the best cover, but my mind was occupied with other things at the moment. The day went on with a very slow pace. The minutes felt like hours, and the hours like days. I don't know how it was possible but even with the object of my affection in front of me, I couldn't concentrate on him because of my mind wandering to thoughts of him.
"Logan…? Logan!" I heard a voice awaken me from my thoughts of him. How ironic that it was the very person I was thinking of that awoke me. "Logan, you keep spacing out. Did you even hear me?" Chase asked with a slightly annoyed look on his face.
"Sorry, I have something on my mind."
"You wanna talk about it?"
Strange. No one had ever asked me that before. I wasn't sure how to respond, but my better judgment told me to refuse his offer. I wasn't ready to reveal myself just yet.
"No, but thanks. It's nice to know I have someone I can talk to."
Chase didn't answer. He just gave me a smile. The first smile of his year was mine, and for now, I would conform myself with this small piece of satisfaction.
Student Orientation was to be held in the main gym this year, due to the large size of the junior and senior classes. I came alone, as I usually did. It's not that I couldn't find anyone to be with, it's more so that I prefer my own company as opposed to that of people that can only judge by that which they hear outside and don't bother to get to know you before they slam on you.
As soon as I entered the gym, I spotted Chase. He was with the one person I dreaded. She was everything I wasn't and everything I never wanted to be. She was the only object worthy of my despise, for everything she did made me sick. I don't know exactly why I hated her so. Jealousy, perhaps? Or maybe her ability to befriend anyone she meets, as opposed to me, who can only push others away with my own arrogance.
I preferred to sit with Quinn and Lola, who were three rows below Zoey and Chase. Surprisingly, they were happy to see me. I know they're my friends, but it still.
The orientation ran long, and all I wanted to do was go back to my dorm and sleep. Fate however had other plans.
My friends decided to go to Sushi Rox, but I made up an excuse not to go. Now, were it not the first day of school, saying I had homework would have been a valid excuse. The girls bought the story, and so did Chase. At least that's what I thought until Chase came into our room about five minutes after I did.
"Logan, I know something is wrong. It's obvious something's been bothering you all day."
"Chase, I…"
"Please, Logan. I don't like seeing you like this. I won't judge you, just please, let me help."
"Alright… I'll tell you."