I am rewriting this story. I wrote it a year ago, and have been too busy (lazy) to fix it. But I am now! ^_^

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Some Things Are Sweeter Than Sugar.

--Light's POV--

I am confident, confident in my strengths, my intelligence, my cause...

Confident in my abilities. There's no way he could get to me.

There's just no way...

But, I must admit... My resolve has slowly begun chipping away, as if all my goals were tucked away in a sand castle and the tide was coming in. I can feel it, or rather, him. Its as if every nerve in my body is tuned to him, aware of his every action. It would be altogether different if this man, this man whom I am now dangerously close to admitting I am addicted to, had chosen not to block my path, had chosen not to be the only thing standing in my way from victory. And I fear I am starting to crack...

--Ryuzaki's POV--

People consider me to be special. I guess in a way I am. But the truth of the matter is:

I'm lonely.

I work alone, always have. False names, hiding behind my glowing computer screen, sleepless nights, all these are things I'd grown used to. But I'm beginning to suspect that the only thing keeping me from realizing my lonely existence for exactly what it is, is the fact that I'd never experienced anything different. But now, now that I've had a taste of something sweeter than sugar... I find myself wanting more.

--Normal POV--

"Ryuzaki, is everything alright?"

Startled, deep in thought, Ryuzaki looked up from the screens surrounding him, tucked in his usual position, legs safely drawn close to his chest. "Mm, yes, just thinking." Tilting his head lazily towards Light. Light stared at him, searching his face for any incite as to what he could possibly be thinking about.

"Matsuda, any progress yet?" Ryuzaki looked up only slightly, awaiting a response.

"No, nothing new has happened, nothing but same old murders."

"Hmm, right, keep at it then.." His chair swiveled to face the screes again.

Light abruptly stood up, chain around his wrist jangling slightly.

"Going somewhere Light?" Ryuzaki began to stand up.

"Bathroom" was his quick reply. As he swept from the room, Ryuzaki padding after him, the other members of the task force watch as they exited the room.

"Ya know, sometimes I feel a bit bad for Light, chained to L like that." Matsuda said to break the silence.

--Light's POV--

I can't stand it, if it wasn't enough working with him, I can't bear being linked to him like this! Under these conditions its only a matter of time before he-

"Light, I was just wondering..." His voice rang clear to free my head from thought.

"Yes? What is it?" I turned to face him in the hallway, trying hard to concentrate on what he was saying.

"You seem to be acting odd these pas few days, are you sick?" Ryuzaki took a step forward and gently placed his palm on my forehead.

"N-no I'm fine." I said to quickly, brushing his hand away as nonchalantly as I could. How long will this go on? How long will I be forced to pretend...?

Quickly turning away from him I continued to walk.

--Later that night-- How can he stand drinking that? I laid in the bed, watching Ryuzaki sip tea that he had just put 10 spoonfuls of sugar in. Keeping still, pretending to have already dosed off, I watched him intently.

Soaking in his smooth skin, memorizing the curves of his face, tracing the bridge of his nose with my eyes. How did I let this happen? I can't possibly let this bothersome obsession prevent me from my goal! And yet, just staring at his creamy-smooth complexion, his dark eyes...his soft lips... Its almost enough to make me want to-

"You know, you should probably try to get some sleep Light." Ryuzaki turned from his work to look at me. "Is the light bothering you?"

I stared, wide-eyed "Uh, no, no I was just, um, well I was asleep, I just had a strange dream is all..." Damn it! How long did he know I was watching him?

"Well, if you're still awake, would you like a snack?" Gesturing toward his tray of creme-filled donuts on the desk next to him.

"Uh, sure." I stood up, walking over to his desk I had to reach over his shoulder to grab one of his snacks from the tray. He picked one up and devoured nearly half of it in one bite, creme oozing out of the sides on his lips.

Oh God what I wouldn't give to just reach over and-

"Mm, these are one of my favorites, do you like them?" He asked.

I started to nibble at the edges, barely tasting the food. "Yes, its very sweet, definitely your style Ryuzaki." I said, letting out a nervous chuckle.

"Light, can I ask you a personal question?" He looked directly at me, his piercing eyes scanning my face.

"What is it Ryuzaki?" Curious, I risked leaning just a bit closer...

"Kira... He is evil right? I mean, you do agree don't you?" I was a little surprised, it seemed like he was going to ask something more personal than that...

"Of course I do. Why do you think I joined the task force?"

"Yes, I thought you would say something like that, but what I'm really wondering is, how wrong is it really to love Kira? What if...what if he wasn't like we all think, what if he was young, innocent... Is it wrong to love Kira?"

That question caught me off guard. "What are you getting at Ryuzaki?" What game is he playing at?

"Sometimes I feel like there are certain things that me and Kira have in common, and I wonder what that makes me in the eyes of justice..." I didn't know what to say to that, not sure if he was serious or not but...

"How would you know what you have in common with Kira? You can't just think you're a bad person comparing yourself to someone you don't even know." He just stared at me with those eyes... What is this? Is he trying to unravel my resolve? At this rate...I don't think I could stop myself from giving in to these feelings...

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, there was nothing I could do, it was if I had left my body and was watching in horrific slow-motion as I brought my hand to his face. "Ryuzaki..." I whispered before I gently (and oh so gently I was!) leaned over and closed the distance between us.

--Ryuzaki's POV--

Maybe it was all the sleepless nights... Too long running on nothing but sugar and sheer will-power... But regardless of what it was, the fact remains;

I slipped up.

For some reason, looking at his face...while he thinks he's convinced me he's asleep, it seems to make it harder to think. Like there's a fog, blocking me from easily hearing my better judgment... But even then I had calculated every possible reaction, except one...

Of course, I was nowhere near prepared for that reaction. And at that moment, I didn't care. Because for whatever reason he kissed me, it didn't seem to matter anymore, nothing did. Rationality slipped away from me, all I could see, hear, feel, taste, was Light. It was if I couldn't get close enough...

And yet...Light Yagami...is he Kira?

Yes.

I know this to be true. I know it. But... Does that change anything?

No.

This is also true. And after tonight I can say without a single doubt in my mind that I love Light.

Light Yagami,

Kira,

hate,

love.

--Light's POV--

How could I be so reckless? Screaming at myself for what I had done, the two sides of me battling for control. But if this keeps up, this inner war with myself threatens to destroy me. I can't let this happen, I can't let him win. But I know that a part of me (and I am not yet ready to accept how big that part of me is) would be more than happy to surrender to him completely.

--Normal POV--

Few words were spoken that morning.

Matsuda, uncomfortable with the eerie silence, finally said "So Light, how's Misa been lately? Is she upset by how little she gets to see you?"

This question made Light realize how little he'd been thinking about Misa of late. "Mm, probably," he began "but we're not in a position yet to let up on the Kira case." he nodded slightly to show his seriousness.

"That is a very good point Light." Ryuzaki said, suddenly appearing behind him. Light, unaware of how close Ryuzaki had been, jumped in spite of himself. "Oh, sorry, did I startle you?"

"Just a little." Light said, turning to face him.

"Ahh," Matsuda sighed, "Now to grab some coffee and and get back to work..."

--Light's POV--

After staring at that screen for what seemed like hours, I couldn't take anymore. I have to do something. I stood, knowing he would have to follow.

"What is it Light?" I heard him ask.

Without bothering to face him I said "I need to go get something." I heard his chair swivel as he turned to get up, and as we started walking I could hear his bare feet padding on the carpet in the hallway.

I think we're far enough now... I stopped walking.

"What is it Light?" I finally turned to face him... big mistake. having been avoiding his face since last night he looked so irresistible that I almost forgot what I came here to do... but not quite.

"Ryuzaki..." I said to him, stepping closer. "What is your game? Why did you just sit there and let me kiss you last night?" I questioned, advancing towards him until his back was almost pressed against the wall. It makes him look so small...fragile...

"I suppose... you caught me off guard." He stated.

I put my face so close to his that our noses were nearly touching.

"How about now L?" I said with a hint of sarcasm, and all I could smell was his sugary-sweet scent, "do you know what I'm going to do now?" and for the second time in the last eight hours I kissed him. Planting my hands on the wall above his shoulders I pinned him there, and this time I wasn't so gentle. But neither was he.

He grabbed at my waist, pulling me closer, while I nibbled on his lower lip, and finally explored the inside of his mouth. He was sweeter than sugar. All the while I was screaming at myself I can't do this! This is insane! But... No, I don't care. It doesn't matter, nothing matters now. So then I slid my hands up his baggy shirt, feeling his skin all over. I think he moaned, but it was cut off by my reentry into his mouth.

"What's taking you guys so long?" Aizowa yelled up.

I heard footsteps approaching and we immediately separated. But the look I gave me sent shivers down his spine as I mouthed the word "later".

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