Author's Note: This little story is a step away from the usual suspensy stuff I've been doing, so you'll have to let me know if it works. I got the idea from listening to a song ("Within your Reach" by the Replacements). It's more of an angsty look at how Jen deals with jealousy, and how she's coming to terms with who she is, and who she'll never be. It won't be very long (only a few chapters) and hopefully I can get into her head right!

I'm suggesting that Ronon and Jen are already involved in the story; and have been for a few weeks, but it's new enough that neither one of them has admitted where it's going. Do Pegasus relationships go through the same bumps as those from Earth? :P

As I post this, Season 5 is set to premier tonight on SciFi (but being in Canada, I can't see it for another 3 days). So for those of you who are watching tonight, enjoy!

- Nika

"Within Your Reach" - The Replacements

I could live without so much
I can die without a clue
Sun keeps risin' in the west
I keep on wakin' fully confused

Jen wasn't the jealous type.

Not really.

She was more of a feel sorry for herself and decide it was bound to happen anyway, type. It was the same story every time, so why should this one be any different?

They liked her well enough away from the hospital – until she wouldn't put out on the first date.

They liked her well enough to be seen in front of the others with her – until she pointed out one of their mistakes.

They liked her well enough when she was doing their work for them because they'd come up with some lame assed excuse as to why they were late – until she pointed out their lame assed excuse was just that – lame.

So she'd get a date, go for dinner, catch a movie, make out in the supply closet, until they found out she was smarter than they were, that she had a proper work ethic, that she took her life and her work very seriously, that she didn't believe in a casual fling in the closet just to satisfy an urge.

Then it was see-ya' Jennifer.

So when she lost Ronon for the fifth day in a row to the two new female Marine recruits he and John seemed to be spending an awful a lot of time with lately… she wasn't really surprised.

Hurt, yes.

Jealous? No…

Oh fine. Yes, damn, it! She was jealous.

She dropped her forehead to her desk and wrapped her arms around her head.

Lieutenants Sarah Lewis and Janice "Jane" Thomas were sassy, strong, and very, very pretty – in that Lara Croft kind of way. Lieutenant Lewis was five-ten, blond and blue eyed, with one of those late-night radio voices the men seemed to fall all over themselves to hear. Lieutenant Thomas was close to six-feet tall, a brunette, with brown eyes and beautiful shoulder length hair she could perfectly French braid in seconds without so much as a hair out of place. Jen couldn't manage a pony tail without missing half her hair.

She disliked her on that principle alone.

And both women seemed to be more than eager to get more sparring time with Ronon, and more weapon's training with Sheppard. And they weren't subtle about it at all.

Subtle was not Jen's forte.

Shy. Quiet. Reserved. That was more her style.

Up front flirting and suggestive touches that Lieutenant Thomas was throwing at Ronon were not in Jen's bag of tricks… ever. But she'd thought about it. She really had. She just couldn't pull her brain out of her it-was-bound-to-happen-sooner-or-later motto long enough to do anything about it.

Maybe Ronon didn't see it.

But how could he not?

The woman was practically throwing herself at him!

But Jen didn't have any claim on the man. They'd never really discussed it. It just sort of happened and they'd gone with it, but the whole 'exclusive' conversation had never taken place. Nor had the this-isn't-just-a-fling conversation. Maybe there wasn't going to be an exclusive conversation. Maybe it was just going to be one of those things. Flings. But Jen didn't do flings. Not intentionally anyway.

So… technically she couldn't really be jealous of something she didn't have.

Could she?

She had motive.

If she wanted to call it a motive.

He had been really, really busy. Truthfully. Okay so that wasn't a motive.

But he'd also been really, really busy with Lieutenant Thomas. And that sure as heck felt like a motive. Either the woman was a complete idiot when it came to fighting and Ronon was just being kind, or there was something more too it.

After four days, Jen finally decided to see for herself.

She made it a point never to watch the sparring or training, but something pointed her in the direction of the gym earlier this afternoon, and she'd gotten more than enough motive.

Janice call-me-Jane Thomas was a good fighter. No where near the caliber of Teyla, but she sure looked like she knew what she was doing. And Sarah Lewis was equally quick, if not more so, than Jane.

Jen had to admit defeat at that one. She'd never be a fighter. It just wasn't… her. Self-defense, maybe, if she had to. But outright fighting? Nope. That was one of the huge, gaping, in-your-face things Jen always knew she'd never have in common with Ronon. Fighting. And, well… weapons – at which, of course, Jane was an excellent shot. And… okay, yes, military strategy. And being able to talk tales of skirmishes and battles and victories. And a host of other things Jen could easily list if she wanted to beat herself up about it.

Yeah okay, so she really had, aside from location, absolutely nothing in common with Ronon Dex.

From her vantage point in the hallway, Jen watched Lieutenant Thomas linger… heard her compliments to Ronon's fighting style… heard her request more formal training… and heard Ronon agree. Hell, even Jen could hear the suggestive undertones in the request and she didn't know squat.

And he said yes.

Then the Lieutenant actually had the gal to not-so-subtly invite herself to dinner when Sheppard mentioned the trip to the mess hall to Ronon.

Okay so Jen knew she didn't hold a claim on all his time… but… she'd come to enjoy their routine. Their unspoken agreement that when they were both in the city, dinnertime in the mess hall was a their time. Even if it turned into a group affair with the rest of SGA-1… and Evan. And sometimes even Radek. Because that was their group. Her group.

But now the group had increased by two because for the last seven and a half meals – not that Jen was counting - Jane was there with Sarah.

Jen had given up not being able to participate in the conversation by the third meal, and opted to eat in her office by the fifth. Today she just didn't show up at all.

And no one had come to ask why, except Teyla, and Jen couldn't really tell the Athosian that she was jealous of nothing and upset about everything.

So she'd lied and said she was swamped with paperwork and research, and to pass on her apologies.

Jen raised her head from its cocoon in her elbows, and looked at the long-completed stack of paperwork sitting on her desk. She'd had so much free time the past couple of days, she'd finished everything she had to do. And then some.

Jen dropped her head back down onto her arms and sighed. Free time sucked when you didn't have any reason for it.

"Jennifer?" A soft voice called from the doorway.

Jen quickly lifted her head.

"Teyla." She smiled, waving the Athosian into the room. "How are you?" Jen stood and held her arms out, reaching for the squiggling baby Teyla held cradled in her arms. "And how's my favorite nephew?"

Teyla smiled and easily handed over her son. "He is just fine."

Jen settled the infant into the crook of her arm and hooked his tiny fingers. "Such a strong little man!" Jen cooed, laughing. "You're going to be a fantastic fighter, smart and strong, just like your mommy, aren't you!"

Gurgles and a spit bubble made both women laugh.

Jen looked up, bouncing softly on the balls of her feet, rocking the baby. "So, what's up?"

"Well…" Teyla gave Jen a slightly chagrinned face. "I hate to ask… and I realize you are very busy, but… I was wondering if you might be free to…"

"Babysit?" Jen smiled, the thoughts of spending another lonely night in her quarters banished with a tiny little gurgling wiggle. "I'd love to!"

Teyla's smile widened. "Thank you, Jennifer. It is only for a few hours. Colonel Sheppard would like to take a couple of the new recruits through the gate to one of the beta sites for some… night drills?"

Teyla stepped forward and rubbed her son's forehead with her fingertips. "Apparently Lieutenant's Thomas and Lewis are looking for some planetary experience."

"I just bet they are." Jen muttered bitterly.

Teyla raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry." Jen smiled. "I'd love some company, tonight. What do you think, little man? Dinner and a movie with Auntie Jen?"

Teyla smiled when he gurgled again. She leaned in and kissed her son's forehead, muttering a soft, "Be good, my little one."

"Oh he's always good." Jen smiled at the little baby, rocking him gently. "Aren't you, little man? Yes, you are! You and Auntie Jennifer are going to have a great time, aren't we?"

Teyla stepped away, then turned back quickly. "Jennifer?"

"Hmm?" Jen looked up.

"Are you…" Teyla paused. "Is everything all right?"

Jen made a face. "Yes. Why wouldn't it be?"

Teyla shook her head. "No… reason." Teyla slipped the large bag off her shoulder and set it on the chair inside the door. "I almost forgot this."

Jen laughed. "Yes, it might clash with the P90."

Teyla laughed and quickly rushed over to kiss her son again. Then she turned away with a sheepish smile. "There is milk in the pockets, and a change of clothes if he should spit up. I've also packed-"

"Go, Teyla." Jen smiled. "He'll be fine."

"I know." Teyla smiled, watching her son gripping Jennifer's finger. "I know. It's just…"

"Hard to leave?" Jen suggested.

Teyla smiled. "Very. And speaking of leaving, are you still scheduled to return to Earth tomorrow with Mr. Woolsey?"

Jen rolled her eyes. "Yes. Dinner and schmoozing with a bunch of IOA mucky-mucks. I don't know how Colonel Sheppard always manages to get out of these things and stick me with them." Jen looked down at the little baby. "Your Uncle John is a shyster… yes he is… a shyster…" Then Jen looked back up at Teyla. "It's only for a couple of hours though. I wish I could have gotten the whole weekend, then I could go see my Dad, but… Mr. Woolsey got permission from the SGC for a four hour window. Quick trip in, quick trip back. But, either way I suppose I still get to eat real meat, drink real wine, and bring back some real chocolate."

Teyla raised an eyebrow hopefully.

"Oh don't worry." Jen laughed. "I'll make sure to bring enough to share. But you have to promise you'll make that awesome berry desert pie-thing with some of it."

Teyla laughed. "It is a deal."

"Okay now go." Jen ordered. "You're going to be late."

"Right!" Teyla laughed, and hurried out of Jen's office.

"Come on, little man." Jen laughed and picked up the diaper bag and slung it over her shoulder. "What say we go find us some snacks, and watch A Hundred and One Dalmatians. Maybe Auntie Jen will teach you how to burn popcorn."