I do not own anything that this fic references except for my OC's of references to my other fics. Oh and Sakura-chan (Chabii- now), you forgot Rio Vs Daishi/Jarrod, Mele Vs Camille, Bae Vs Flit, Long Vs Daishi, ETC.
ONWARDS!
Gekiranger Vs Jungle Fury, Non-battle style!
Ran Uzaki Vs Lily . . . What's-her-surname
And now, Ryu from Geki Jyu Revival as . . . the host! "Nei Ho!" Ryu waves.
Ark from Kamen Rider Shade as . . . the co-host. By the way, this is Night Ark (Refer to KR Shade) even though it is obviously daytime. "Hello, it's nice to be here." Ark says.
And special guest, Jan as the . . . Slave Driver. He is holding the Gekinunchaku. "Ah re? What am I doing here?" Jan is also holding a red leash.
One more special guest, Long as . . . THE SLAVE! "WHY ME!?" Long shouts, then gets whacked by Jan, who doesn't know why he's whacking Long. "ITE!" Long looks at Ryu. "Hey, what happened to Ryn, and what's Gekired doing here!?"
"Because Ryn is still tired from last night and I needed a slave driver." Ryu answered. "Besides Jan is here for a reason." Ryu smiled a sly smile, scaring Ark and Long.
"Um, I don't want to know what you did to Ryn last night, and I also don't want to know what you have planned for Gekired." Long said sweat dropping.
"Well anyways, last time Jan and Casey ended their dispute by going out to eat Menchi Katsu." Ryu explains. "And now today we'll be comparing Ran and Lily! And we're not using a point system today because we don't have the right scoreboard, and Long is taking some odd jobs to earn money for the scoreboard!"
Long started whimpering. The jobs that Ryu and Ryn had Long do were humiliating to such a villain like himself. Long had to scrub floors, wash windows of tall buildings, massage Ryu, and all sorts of other things, and Ryn was there whipping him along the way.
"Now we'll go and bring the girls of Gekirangers out." Ark says.
"YOSH!" Ryu shouts pointing to the sky or ceiling, again, not really sure where they're holding this event. "From the Super Sentai side, we have RAN UZAKI!"
Ran, wearing her Jyuken Uniform, walks out and waves to the camera. "Hello . . ." But then she is cut short by Ryu, and Ran just stares at Ryu in surprise.
"And from the Power Ranger side, Lily . . ." Ryu looks at his cue card. "What the heck is her last name!?" Ryu asks Ark.
Ark shrugs, then Ryu glares at Long. "Don't look at me." Long says. "I mean no one knows what Lily's last name is." Then Jan all of a sudden starts whacking Long with the Gekinunchakus nonstop. "HELP ME!" Long was on the ground and Jan was smiling and pounding Long to a pulp. "RYU! HELP!"
Ryu just picked his ears with his pinky. "You hear something?" Ryu asked Ark, and Ark just shook his own head in disbelief, but Ryu took that as a no. "Now, KOE LILY!" No answer.
Lily, wearing her Jungle Fury uniform, popped her head out. "What does Koe mean?" Lily asked.
Ryu just sweat dropped, as did Ark and Ran. Jan was just beating Long to a pulp. "It means come." Ryu said. "How come you don't know?"
"Give me a break, I had to learn Japanese in just a few days." Lily then nodded in realization and then skipped out. "Hello . . ." But was cut short by Ryu.
"Now!" Ryu points! To the top! "The two hotties of their respective shows are here!" Ran and Lily stand next to each other and are just staring at Ryu with blank stares. Ryu then realizes that Ark is staring at a scrapbook, and Ark was drooling. "What are you doing Ark?"
"Just staring at the pictures in your scrapbook." Ark turns a page. "Man, you hang out with some hot girls, and that Mele girl is really cute." Ark looks up to see Ryu all steaming. "What?"
"GIVE ME THAT!" Ryu's dragon wings emerge and he flies at Ark, trying to get the scrapbook away from Ark, but then the red book gets thrown into the air, and it lands and opens up into a certain page. Ark and Ryu are pinching each other's faces, when Ark notices the page that the book landed on, and Ark drops his mouth in great shock. Ran and Lily take a peek, and there mouths drop in great shock. Long finally gets a breath in, but then he gets a look at the page, and he loses the breath while he drops his mouth in great shock as well. Jan just looks at the page then looks at everyone else, confused as to what was going on. Ryu notices this, and he drops his mouth in despair, "ACK!"
Ark starts stammering incoherently. "Man, I didn't know you were into that." Ark said staring at Ryu like Ryu was abnormal. The page had pictures of . . . HOLY COW! What the heck is Ryu into!? "What I want to know is how you were able to get the three of them in such a position."
Ryu was all red, then draws his Harisen from his robe. "SHUT UP!" Ryu shouts and holds the Harisen with both arms and starts slamming the Harisen on something.
"HEY!" Long shouts as Ryu was beating Long up. "I didn't say anything!"
"SHUT UP SLAVE!" Ryu keeps slamming Long while Jan just holds the leash and Lily and Ran just stare at Ryu. The two girls were now freaked out.
- -
After a long beating, Long was just lying on the ground all corpse like and Jan was poking Long, while Ryu and Ark continue the Host session. "Now, since the two girls are here, let's get something juicy." Ryu smiles a sly smile and in his hand is a video camera.
Ark notices the camera, looks at Ryu, then at Lily and Ran, then at Ryu again. "Don't tell me . . ." Ark says, scared now. "That you intend to make an AV video with those two." (I'm not going to explain what an AV video is)
Ryu looks at Ark, and smiles innocently. "No!" Ryu exclaims. "Now if those two would just change into these swimsuits, then we'll be cooking." Ryu is now holding two hangers, each with a yellow two piece swimsuit on it, and Ran and Lily drop their mouths in shock.
Ark drops his mouth in shock. "YOU DO INTEND TO MAKE AN AV VIDEO!" Ark shouts. "And you have a lover!"
Ken appears in the background and runs straight. "Pedophile!" Ken shouts and he's gone.
"An AV video!" Long shouts in surprise, sitting up.
"What!" Ryu snapped. "What kind of person do you think I am!?" Ryu starts beating Long with the Harisen.
"WHY ONLY ME!?" Long shouts long and far. Long was then in his corpse like state again and Jan was poking at Long with a finger.
Then Ryu faces Ark and does a crane style stance while Ark does demon dragon stance. "Hey does such a stance exist?" Ryu asks Ark.
"I don't know." Ark shrugs, and the two start making ridiculous battle cries.
"THE TWO OF YOU GET BACK ON TOPIC, YOU ECCHI RYU!" Ran shouts and she has the Gekinunchaku in hand, and beats both Ryu and Ark with the nunchakus with one strong swing. Ran was panting heavily in anger.
Jan looked around, "Ah re?" Jan then looks at Ran's hands. "How did she get my Gekinunchaku?"
Then Lily taps Ran's shoulder. "I think you overdid it." Lily points at the fallen Ryu and Long.
Ran walks over to Ryu and turns Ryu's body over, and Ran shrieked. "His eyes are turned to the back of his head!"
Lily turns Ark over. Lily shrieks. "HIM TOO!"
- -
Intermission . . . BEEP!
STATIC . . . . . . . . . . . . .
DELUXE KAMEN RIDER SHADE BELT! 'When Shadows plague the night, only a demon can defeat these monsters.' "Henshin!" Ark swipes the belt over his Shade belt and the Shade suit forms on him. He turns the Shade Blaster to sword form and slashes the screen with a fiery slash. 'Reveal more of Shades Powers!' Ark is holding all his crests in his hands. 'FROST FORM, WIND FORM, CRUSH FORM!' All of Shade's forms appear in split screens and the Blaze Form screen enlarges. 'Reveal Shade's Hissatsu Waza!' "BLAZE!" Ark's right foot reveals itself and Ark jumps and executes a burning flying side kick. 'DELUXE SHADE BELT! Also available, Tenkishi Belt.'
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
- -
Back in the air!
Ark and Ryu are now standing next to each other and Ark's face is spotless while Ryu has a bruise on the left cheek. "Now that was a cool commercial." Ark commented.
Ryu just nods. Ryu then turns to look at Ark's clear face, and Ryu is like 'wha!?' "Well anyway, let's continue!" Ryu thrust his fist into the air.
"We haven't started yet." Ran and Lily remarked, a little annoyed now.
"YOSH!" Ryu and Ark shout, but then Long walks over to Ryu and gives Ryu a note, while Jan pulls Long back by the leash and starts beating Long up with the Gekinunchakus that were back in Jan's possession.
"YAH!" Long screams in pain.
"WHEE!" Jan squeals in delight. "This is fun!" Long reverted back to corpse like state, with the flying of the flies around Long's body, while Jan was still beating Long up.
"Is that guy going to be okay?" Lily asked Ran, referring to Long.
"That guy's immortal." Ran explained.
Ryu takes a look at the note, "OH!" Ryu grunts out loud. "We've got a letter with a question!"
"WHEE!" Ark squeals.
Ryu clears his throat, and a buff man wearing a white suit, a completely white suit, slides out and is now between Ark and Ryu. "OH! Stranger Man and Mr. Dragon, I have a big problem!" The man says with a really weird accent.
Ryu and Ark look at each other. "Wait, are you Stranger Man or Mr. Dragon?" Ryu asks Ark and Ark shrugs. Ryu would ask because Ark's Kamen Rider form is based a bit on a dragon, and one of Ryu's nicknames is Strange Man-san.
"My girlfriend dumped me, saying I'm not strong enough!" The man continued in his accent, strange really since the guy was quite buff. "What should I do!?"
"I have the perfect solution!" Ryu shouts out, and has in his hand a pill. "The Ryu special growth pill!" Ryu exclaims. "It has a special ability, he who eats this will grown buff and increase their charm. Women will be all over you!"
"Really?" Ark asks.
"Thank you!" The buff man shouted.
"And if you order now, we'll throw in a second pill, free of charge!" Ryu shouts happily.
"Do you need two?" Ark asked.
"What a deal!" The buff man exclaimed.
"So pick up the phone and don't hesitate, because these are in limited supplies!" Ryu says.
"Do you need two?" Ark asked.
"GET BACK ON TOPIC!" Ran and Lily shout, taking out Gekitonfa Long Baton and Jungle Bo respectively. They thrust their respective rods, smashing the buff man out the studio, or wherever, and Ran whacks Ryu while Lily bashes Ark into the ground. Then they realize that Ark and Ryu both have their eyes turned to the back of their heads again. "KYA!"
- -
Intermission, Again!
- -
Ryu and Ark are now standing next to each other and Ryu has a bruise on his right cheek this time. "Okay, let's continue." Ryu says.
"You haven't started yet!" Ran and Lily shout at Ryu (course Ryu ignored them). Jan is just happily beating the corpse like Long in the background.
Long had his eyes turned to the back of his head. "Help . . . me." He groaned.
"WAKIWAKI!" Jan was just beating Long with the Gekinunchakus happily.
Ryu notices that Ark has a cleared face, and Ryu growls, then notices that Long was getting beaten by Jan badly. Ryu sweat dropped. "Looks like our slave is too busy to operate the lights and stuff." Ryu said. He took out a red cell phone. "Time to call for reinforcements!" Ryu dials a number, and on the other line, the phone was picked up. "Hey dad, we need another OC."
"I'M NOT YOUR DAD!" I shouted from the other line.
"But come on, just give me an OC!" Ryu begs.
Moments later, Ryn, wearing a nightgown, nothing else, walked in. Her hair wasn't in a ponytail, just let down. She rubbed her eyes as she was tired. She looked like she just woke up. "Mou, I'm tired after last night, what am I doing here?"
"ACK!" Ryu, Ark, Ran, Lily, and Long all shout out in surprise, while Jan just stared at Ryn.
"BAKA PAPA!" Ryu shouts into his phone. "Why did you bring Ryn!?"
"I'm not your dad! And I gave you an OC so there!" I hung up.
"KU!" Ryu shouted frustratingly, and pushes Ryn out the studio. Moments later, Ryu returned. "Now where were we?" Ryu notices that Long's eyes were widened in surprise.
"Dang, that kid really grew up to be hot." Long said, referring to Ryn (refer to Geki Jyu Revival). "I'd tap that!" Long drooled and seemed to be in ecstacy for some reason.
Ryu whacked Long's head with the Harisen. "Get back into character!" Ryu shouted. Blood spouted out Long's nose.
Ryu dusted his hands. "Man you have a hot lover." Ark remarked.
"SHUT UP!" Ran and Lily shouted, swinging Gekihammer and Jungle Mace respectively, each tossing the line, and smashing Ryu and Ark respectively into the ground.
"AHH!"
Ran and Lily panted in anger, then realized that Ryu and Ark, again, had their eyes flipped to the back of their heads. "KYA!"
- -
Intermission, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!
- -
Ark and Ryu stood side by side, and Ryu's face was all scrunched up together, as he was beaten quite badly. Ark's face was spotless. "OH!" Ryu shouted looking at Ark. "Why's your face spotless!? I'm the immortal here!"
"I'm a half demon." Ark said quite in a shady way.
"WILL YOU TWO JUST START!?" Ran and Lily shout at Ryu and Ark. Ran and Lily had their respective Gekiclaw and Claw Booster out. The blades of the claws flashed in the shining sun, or light of the studio, wherever they were.
"EE!" Ark and Ryu hug each other and Ryu's face reverts back to normal. "We'll be good mommy!"
"JUST START!"
- -
Ryu and Ark stood side by side with each other. "Well that does it for gear." Ryu said.
"We didn't even say anything!" Ran and Lily shout out.
"Yeah but you beat us badly with your weapons." Ark remarked.
"And the extra nunchaku smack." Ryu remarked, rubbing his right cheek, the wrong cheek actually. By the way, the corpse like Long was really more like a skeletal Long now and Jan was still beating Long.
Ran and Lily sweat drop in shame. "Sorry." The two said.
"Now, KOE ROMANCE!" Ryu pointed to the sky, or ceiling, and Ark applauded.
"I'll start." Lily said. "When it started, Theo and I were pretty close. Then Casey came into the picture and I started spending more time with him, trying to be a mother to the cub. Of course people started writing fics about me and Casey. Course there was the whole love triangle thing with Theo, Casey, and me. I guess I have two guys in my life." Lily smiles.
Ryu nods. "It's Ran's turn!" Ryu shouted.
Ran was about to say something, when all of a sudden, Ryu blocked Ran. "Well yeah!" Ryu shouted to Lily. Ryu spoke in Ran's voice, but then in his own voice. "Ran was touched, by every human guy in the series!"
"EH!" Ran shouted out.
"WHA!" Lily shouted out.
"KEH?" Ark shouted out a new surprise shout.
"WHOA!" Long got out of his skeletal state and sat up, eyes widened in surprise.
Jan just stared at Ryu. "Ryu, is talking weird about Ran." Jan whined.
Lily just looked at Ran, and Lily's face was full of scorn. I've lost all respect for you. Lily thought to Ran.
Ran was frantic. "It's not what you think! RYU!" Ran shouted at Ryu. "You know that's not true!"
"What?" Ryu said. "It's not true? I beg to differ!" Ryu pointed at Long. "Long, the clips!"
Long got up, and Jan followed Long to the projector. Long inserted clips into the projector, and the projection, let's just say it was, INAPPROPRIATE! Ryu, Ran, and Lily stared at the projection in shock, while Ark whistled, and Jan just watched the projection with surprise. "Ah re?" Jan said. "It's me."
Lily then glared at Ran again. I've seriously lost all respect for you . . . Lily thought. Ran was stammering in shock, and Ryu turned to Long.
"BAKA!" Ryu shouted, throwing a tub at Long, yeah, a tub. "KEEP THE PROJECTION RATED G!"
"HOW DID YOU GET SUCH A CLIP!?" Ran shouted smashing Ryu into the ground.
Ryu just struggled to gasp. Ran kicked Ryu in the gut and walked back to Lily, while Long scrambled to get the right clips, especially since no one wanted to hear the moaning again.
Ark walked over to the downed Ryu and bended down to look Ryu in the face. "How did you get such a clip?" Ark asked.
"Den-liner." Ryu replied. Then Ryu dropped.
- -
Intermission . . . . . . . . . AGAIN!!
- -
Ryu and everybody else watched the right clips. "Here we go, when you that baboon Rinrinshi, or whatever his beast was, started beating Gekicheetah up, thus hurting you, Jan was the first to rush to your side, and he touched you, even after de-henshin. Then many times during a major victory, Jan rushed to you to hold your hands and jump together in victory." Ryu explained to Ran and Lily. "Now Retsu. Let's see, you two sparred together the first time you appeared. Then if I remembered correctly, you two sparred later on as well. Then of course let's not forget, after Ran was attacked by the porcupine user, Retsu held her up to see if she was okay, thus touching her. Next in line, Gou. Not sure what else is there, but you, Jan, and Retsu were training with him, and he landed a touch on you. Now let's look at Ken, the hugger boy! He's pounced on you and hugged you many times already! Maybe two, I don't know."
Lily's eyes were in such a surprise and she stared at Ran. Dang she's got so many guys.
"And let's not forget, Rio-sama!" Ryu pointed to the projection. "Rio has touched Ran so many times, well Rio has touched Jan more."
"EH!?" Everyone, but Ryu, and even Long, shouted in such a surprise.
"What, he's punched them." Ryu explained, and a clip of Rio punching Ran was shown.
"Oh." Everyone was relieved.
Then Ryu sighed. "But I'm more of a fan of the whole Jan Ran relationship." Ryu whispered. "Sure wish that someone would draw a pic where the two were together or something, I mean seriously no one seems to be a fan of Jan Ran. I mean, I've yet to find a fan picture of the two together."
Ark nodded. "Shame really." Ark remarked.
- -
"Well that's it for romance." Ryu said, him standing next to Ark.
"But I didn't say anything!" Ran shouted, but Ryu ignored her.
"Now, let's go, MAJOR MOMENTS!" Ryu pointed to the ceiling, or sky. Lily was about to start, when all of a sudden Ark ran in front of her.
"But Ryu, the two have way too many similar moments." Ark said. "It will be hard to judge."
"Hm, you're right!" Ryu shouted out. "Let's just skip it!"
"HEY!" Ran and Lily shouted. "There are differences!"
"And I'll say them." Ryu said. Ran and Lily stamped the grounds in frustration. "Well for one, Lily never went into that whole punching thing with the centipede guy. Then Lily never had to take care of a child Casey and baby Theo, and Ran was able to make a monster exploded just by using thumbs, something that Lily doesn't have."
"I think this guy is against me." Lily said pointing at Ryu.
"At least he lets you speak." Ran said to Lily.
"Of course Lily didn't have a perverted teacher like Ran did, what with the whole butt touching thing and the whole skirt thing." Ryu continued.
"WHA!" Lily was shock, and she turned to Ran. YOU'VE BEEN VIOLATED ALREADY!
"EH!?" Ran was quite in shock that Lily would think that and yes, somehow Ran knows Lily's every thought. "Ryu, what are you saying!?"
"I'm not on your side if you want to know." Ryu said to Ran. "Nor am I on Lily's side, so I'll say anything I want."
"Hear, hear." Ark nodded waving a red flag with a chibi face of Ryu branded on it doing a thumbs up.
"And then of course both of you girls got struck by quills and you both had a personality shift, each wearing a different outfit, equally hot, but my taste is not in the thing you were wearing Ran so Lily wins." Ryu said.
- -
And Ryu's embarrassing Ran went on and on and on.
- -
"Now, finale time!" Ryu shouted, him being between Ran and Lily. "And the winner of this round is, RAN!"
"But I didn't even get a chance to talk." Ran commented, but Ryu ignored her.
"But since we didn't go by an awesomeness scoring system today, we'll go by a hotness system today, and you both tie!" Ryu shouted in triumph.
Just to note, Jan was beating Long to a pulp still. Ran and Lily sweat dropped.
"Hey, Ryu." Ark said to Ryu.
"Hm?"
"Why were you all ignoring that Ran girl today and sometimes Lily as well?" Ark asked.
"Didn't you know, Ran Shaft is popular." Ryu said.
"EH!?" Ran shouted out in anger.
"So you decided to partially do the same thing to Lily?" Ark asked. Ryu nodded.
"WHAT!?" Lily shouted out in anger as well. Something seemed amiss with the session.
Ryu then smiled a sly smile, and had the video camera in hand as well as the two piece swimsuits in his hands. "So, mind changing into these now?" Ryu asked, but then realized that Ran and Lily were steaming. "Girls?"
Ran then glared at Ryu. "KANJOU!" She started rapid punching Ryu to oblivion.
"CHEETAH JAB!" Lily shouted cheetah jabbing someone.
Ryu was struck, and he was blown into the air, as well as Long who was the poor victim of Lily. "WHY ME!?" Long's shout trailed off. Jan had let go of the leash earlier.
Ran and Lily dusted their hands. "Way to go, Girlfriend." Lily smiled and so did Ran and the two high fived, and bumped rears.
"KANJOU!" The two shout.
Jan ran over to Ran. "Yo Ran!" Jan greeted Ran. "Want to go out and get something to eat?"
"Eh?" Ran was a little surprised.
"I mean Ryu embarrassed you with all his fumafuma remarks, so I think you would be Jirojiro at Ryu. I think that I should cheer you up or something." Wow! Jan was quite mature! Go, go, LEN! (Refer to Geki Jyu Revival) Turn Jan into a mature character by making him into a great father figure for you!
Ran blushed, then nodded. "Yes!" She was thinking, Jan has really matured.
Lily blinked her eyes in confusion. She looked to the side and asked herself, "Is it just me or does she seem a little out of character?" (Seriously, Ran does doesn't she?)
The three of them walked out the studio, or wherever.
- -
Let's see the outcome of Ran and Lily's beating of Ryu and Long, an innocent victim. Ryu and Long were on the ground, lying on their fronts, and both of them seeming to be near death, had the two not been immortals. Smoke seemed to emit from the two. "Why me?" Long struggled to say.
Ark just walked over to the two, and just whistled. "Well I'm off, see you Ryu." A red motorcycle drove by and Ark jumped onto the motorcycle, and drove off, back to where he belonged, in the Kamen Rider Shade fic.
Ryu turned towards the screen. "Next time," Ryu struggled to groan, "it will be Retsu Fukami vs Theo Martin. See you there." Ryu then dropped his head, lying completely on the ground now. Ryu started snoring, while Long just kept repeating 'why me' over and over again, his eyes turned to the back of his head.
- -
Well Ran Shaft strikes again! Hope you like this chapter, and please review!