Hey guys! I changed my Pen name because I thought Aleydis Emma Jade was WAY too long. Now I'm Jasmine! Or Jas, for short. YAY! Hope none of you guys get confused.

Anyway, I think this is my best chapter in plot development so far. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Me no own.

ZERO:

7. Follow him everywhere and take pictures of him, later selling them to the KanamexZero fanclub. Let the computer editors do all the work...

-x-

Now that I was really looking, it was truly surprising how many of the things Zero did could be considered… Well, deliciously sexy after being… Altered a little by the right people. Of course, we all know everything Zero does is sexy, anyway!

"Like, totally." Said the vice-president of the yaoi fanclub. Said vice-president was the living miracle himself, a boy who liked yaoi.

"They'd be like… So hot together. Just like, um. Anakin and Obi-wan, dudette." He slurred, braces causing him to spit everywhere. He flipped out a lightsaber. …Yes, he just happened to also be the president of the Star Wars fan club… He called himself Anakin.

"Uh. Yeah." I backed away from him. "So are you good in computers?"

"AM I? I downloaded Photoshop CS3 illegally from a Chinese website!" He shouted, holding his lightsaber up to the heavens.

"…Uh. Ok. So all I need to do is take pictures, and you can… How do I say this," I stumbled for the words, but he seemed to understand.

"Smexi-fy them?" He said in a low voice, flipping on a switch that turned his red lightsaber into a double-bladed one.

We cackled evilly, eyes shining, a dark cloud coming over our heads, and thunder roared in the background. A sudden downpour soaked us, but we were too evil to care.

So where were we, you ask?

"WHAT THE HELL?" All the people in the cafeteria picked up their water-soaked jello and ran out.

"How the hell is it raining in here?" Someone wondered out loud.

"BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE! MUHAHAHA!"

-x-

I found Zero in the stable, as he usually was at this time. I had my Olympus OM model 35mm, for sale in retail stores around the country, good and ready.

At the moment he seemed to be feeding Lily something. Lily was his horse, or something, I dunno, he just seemed very enamored with her. It almost seemed… Cute. I watched him from his side, as he pet her mane.

But too bad for him, Lily was evil too.

With a neigh, she flipped over the bucket of oats Zero had been holding with a well placed kick. Sighing, Zero bent over to pick it up, giving me a nice view of his behind.

Poof!

"What was that?" Zero shot up like an arrow, and looked around, confused. "Huh, I thought I heard something… Did you hear something, Lily?"

Weird, did he always talk to horses?

Lily neighed and huffed. Zero shrugged.

-x-

"Yuuki, why isn't Zero eating with us here at the cafeteria?" I asked innocently, sitting in the still damp lunch room. The rainclouds stopped raining but didn't go away. They loomed overhead, ominous and grey.

Everyone had to drink their stuff outside so the rainclouds don't absorb any of it. It'd really suck if it started raining coke, lemonade, sprite, tea, water and soup all at the same time, wouldn't it?

"Sometimes he eats TV dinners in his room. It's really not healthy, and I think… Eh?" Only an empty chair remained at where I once was.

As I was walking to his room I checked over all the pictures I had taken of him. There was one of him yawning, mouth wide open… Hehehe… Then there was the video of him taking off his clothes to change into his gym uniform. I'd left the camera in a gap in the wall, all high up. And then there was the money shot. Zero drinking milk from the carton. Well actually, he was pouring it onto his face. It went everywhere.

And it also just so happened that he was half naked and sweaty at the time, as it was right after gym.

You thought I'd take a picture of him sucking on a Popsicle, didn't you? Well Zero only eats cones, so HA.

I reached his door. I pushed it gently and it opened.

Zero never leaves his door locked! It's dangerous, but who am I to say that to a vampire hunter? But this means I could come while he was sleeping, so I didn't complain.

Into his room I slinked like a snake… Like a shadow dragon, silence is my skill… With the precision of a cobra, I perv around and leave no trail… AGH, NO! I was turning into a NARUTARD!

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the most awesome sight ever. Zero did not notice me AT ALL, even thought I was practically standing directly in front of him, camera in hand. He was trying to get Ketchup out of the bottle, and was shaking it vigorously back and forth.

Holy crap! I didn't want to risk flash, so I taped the whole thing.

He looked into the bottle.

He shook it some more.

He BLEW into the bottle.

He shook it.

And then he slapped it HARD on the side.

Oooh, kinky.

Beep beep.

Shoot, my Camera had a feature that tells you when it was going out of batteries!

Zero looked up. Very slowly.

-x-

"Hey, do you have, like, have the pictures and stuff?" Anakin sat on my hospital bed. He seemed to be entertaining himself by poking the tubes sticking into me. Ow.

"Yeah…" I mumbled weakly, and handed him my camera. I couldn't move too much because of a broken rib and a killer concussion. "Just make sure it's worth it."

"Yeah, dude. It's gonna be, like. Totally… Worth it. Like, I'll avenge you, Sister!" He may or may not have burst into tears. I wasn't sure, because I passed out from the morphine. But when I woke up there was a can of sprite on my bedside.

Wow, this is all I get? What about my hospital bills?!?

-x- End Result –x-

A certain silver haired prefect was just making his usual afternoon rounds down the halls when something stopped him in his tracks. And hardly anything ever stopped Kiryuu Zero In his tracks!

Taped on the wall in front of him were posters. Of him. And Kaname. Doing… Doing…

It was lucky that no one was around to see Zero ripping off all the posters, but there were so many! Plus, the damage had already been done…

Then somewhere sleazy saxophone music started playing. Zero looked towards the source.

Somewhere on the other side of the campus…

"What the heck was that?" a boy asked when a rather high pitched screech echoed off the walls.

The girl beside him turned around to face him. Her eyes were red and puffy. In fact, he just realized now that all of the girls in the classroom seemed to be very, very depressed.

"It was probably," sob "Some other girl who" sob "Saw the posters." Sob. "Or saw the movie…"

"What posters? What movie?"

She started to wail, and the teacher sighed dreamily. "Oh, just those gorgeous posters and scenes of Kaname and Zero… Together! I knew they were meant for each other!"

The temperature in the room dropped ten degrees.

-x-

"Ms Shibiki?" I was surprised when I saw a woman who looked eerily like Ms Shibiki, the English teacher, pushed past my door on a stretcher.

I picked up the letter that came for me this morning I tore off the Darth Vader helmet sticker holding the envelope together.

How's the hospital?

The plan worked! I took that picture you took of Zero and Lily and I mixed it with a picture of Kaname yawning, it looked like clothed butt sex!

The girls ate that one up, but then there was that video of Zero changing? I put some porno music on it and put in a scene of Kaname opening the door and looking pleasantly shocked, (that video was taken by Yuuki, from that family film she took when she made him dinner the first time. She donated the clip gladly.) I took the entire shebang and aired it on the school movie screen! I even put it on every computer and laptop in the school!

You should've been there! Everyone freaked out about that picture of Zero and the milk… I conveniently removed the milk carton and put… Something… In its place!

And if you thought the day class people would be shocked, you should've seen the night class people!

You're a genius! I replaced the ketchup bottle with a

RIIIIIPPPPPPP.

Pieces of ripped paper burned up and ashes fell into my lap. I looked up. Very slowly…

-x-

"Ah, she'll be staying in the hospital for another month?" asked Yuuki, horrified. "Why? Did they mistreat her at the hospital?"

"No," Zero growled, "I broke a few more of her ribs and a leg, that's all."

Yuuki paled.

"And I punctured a lung and caused one of her kidneys to fail." Kaname snarled.

Kaname and Zero glared at each other.

"Stop glaring, rapist." Zero snapped.

"Shut up, dick slapper."

KANAME:

7. Talk about birth deformities that may result from genetic mutations from incest. Make sure Kaname and Yuki, and preferably Zero hears you.

-x-

Yuuki made a point to visit me in the hospital every afternoon on the weekends, dragging both Kaname and Zero along with her… I really wished she didn't.

Every time they came they just glared at me, and I remembered how that letter from Anakin had burned up right before my eyes as a result of Kaname's laser vision or something.

Yuuki chattered on about something, while I phased out and concentrated on breathing through my oxygen mask.

"OW!" Yuuki yelped all of a sudden, and both Kaname and Zero jumped to their feet. I rolled my eyes.

"I think I… Ow… I think," Yuuki clutched her stomach, and then ran out.

"Yuuki!" Kaname was going to follow her, but Zero grabbed his arm. The pureblood tried to shake him off, but Zero murmured,

"Don't go."

I raised an eyebrow, suddenly feeling giddy for some reason, and it definitely wasn't the morphine.

"Why not?" I teased. "Because you want him to stay with you while Yuuki isn't here, mmmmm?"

"Kiryuu, she's hurt, she's bleeding! I don't have time for this!" Kaname wrung his arm free.

Zero glared at him and hissed, "Yes, I KNOW she's bleeding. Yuuki has her PERIOD and I don't think you can HELP her."

All three of us lapsed into uncomfortable silence. I was suddenly feeling very unsafe.

"You still gonna be with Yuuki, even though the whole school thinks you're with Zero?" I asked Kaname and he narrowed his eyes. Even with bags under his eyes he still looks amazing.

" First of all, it didn't seem like Yuuki minded." He stated. "Second, I had all the posters removed, but fortunately for you, the damage was already done. Third of all, what problem do you have with me and Yuuki now?!?"

"You know, I heard about this woman, who delivered a baby she had with her brother, and it was crazy, the baby had like, 3587 heads and 436743 arms. And it had both a hotdog and a kitty-cat, if you know what I mean. Plus it also turned out to be mentally retarded. It was a FREAK."

Silence. Kaname buried his head in his hands and groaned.

"Wait, Kuran, were your parents related?" Zero asked somewhat innocently.

"Yes."

"Oh, that's why you turned out the way you did then."

"…"

"What's wrong with you, guilt trip?" Zero mocked.

"NO. Lack of sleep!" Kaname glared at him.

"What?" Zero asked defensively, totally clueless.

And then Kaname did something totally unexpected. He leaned over and planted a sloppy kiss on the prefect's lips. I think I screamed.

"What the hell? Gah! Ew!" Zero was wiping his mouth and blushing like a tomato. In an attempt to get away he almost fell out of his chair.

"That was what it said I had to do on the note!" Kaname was also blushing now, and on the defensive, too.

"WHAT NOTE?"

"THE NOTE ON MY DOOR THIS MORNING! THIS ONE!"

A crumpled ball of paper landed in Zero's direction. A few words were written on the paper in a purple marker.

Zero read, "Kiss me and the curtains will come back. –KZ."

Silence.

"WHAT?" Zero shouted in my direction, anger and confusion burning in his eyes.

"WHAT?" I was REALLY confused, because for once I had nothing to do with this! It must've been Anakin or something!

"WHAT?" Kaname seemed shocked at just about everything, and most probably embarrassed as hell.

And then Yuuki came into the room, took note of Zero on the floor, holding the crumpled paper, the blush on his face, Kaname's bewildered expression, and my fast erratic heartbeat registering as a stroke on the monitor.

"…What?" She grinned widely and twirled a purple sharpie on her pinky.

VKVKVKVKVKVKVKVKVKVKVK

Next chapter:

ZERO:

8. Tell him he should wear a mask, like Ichiru, because he should be a little more fashionable for Kaname-sama. –Meh. I'll surprise you.

KANAME:

8. Accuse him of being racist for wearing white all the time in class.

DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

Hahaha! Yuuki's evil too!

I wasn't really sure if Kaname's parents were related, but for the sake of Zero cracking a joke for the first time in his life, let's pretend this is so.

Meh, I hope you guys like this chapter! Please review. Me likey review cookeys.