I wrapped my arms around my torso hoping to ease the pain, but it didn't seem to help. It might seem pathetic; it was 4 months since he had left. But nothing seemed to get easier. He said it would be like he had never existed. Was he insane!? That could never happen, he could take all his gifts, all the pictures but he can't take my memories. My painful, beautiful memories. The time I had spent with him, 6 months, was the best time of my life. Nothing could change that, it couldn't get any better. The only way it could get better was that if he didn't have to go away, if he didn't have to leave ... if he still loved me. I know the last one isn't possible, he told me himself.

Flashback

"Bella, we're leaving" He said. He looked to the ground as he said it; I don't think he could bring himself to look at me.

"Why now? Another year..."

"It has to be now. It's not right to be here" He looked up at me finally, his deep blue eyes dark and cold. Something clicked in my brain.

"When you say we ..."

"I mean me and my family. It's time Bella" His blue eyes bored into me, I forced myself to look away. He couldn't see me cry, not now. Not when he was breaking my heart and it wasn't even hurting him. He shifted his feet ready to walk away. I looked up at him, composing my face as best I could. He walked over to me.

"Promise me something. Don't do anything stupid or reckless" I couldn't say anything for I knew my voice would break, I simply nodded.

"And I'll make a promise to you. I promise to never come back into your life. We won't ever bother you again. I'll be like I never existed" He began to walk away but I called out to him.

"Don't ... don't do this Troy" He placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed my forehead briefly.

"Take care of yourself – for Maria" He knew how much I loved my mom, I couldn't do anything that even made her worry about me. Then he was gone. He just walked away leaving me in the pouring rain. I couldn't even tell if I was crying or not. The next thing I knew I was curled up in a ball on the floor clutching my arms to my torso

End Flashback

Well maybe he didn't tell me exactly to those words but I could read his eyes, it was clear. He doesn't love me. He did once though, that's what keeps me going, I think. There would be no reason for me to live if I ever found out he was dead. Kind of impossible to say that though. He can't die, well not as easily as me. I remember when I asked him to turn me into ... well, like him. He said no, he won't ever, and he's determined to keep me human. Well he was the last I saw him, I couldn't say now, he probably wouldn't care if I was dead right now. I was just a complication to his life, another complication.

I unwrapped my arms from my torso, for the pain had eased a little. It was still there, it was always there. I don't think it will ever fade. It feels like my heart has been ripped out my body and he took it with him. The pain is like a burning where my heart should be, but it's not there. I know it's not there. My heart is with him, wherever he may be. I walked down the stairs of my empty house feeling not quiet alone as I should. I ignored the feeling, I couldn't really feel anything but I knew that someone was here with me and for some reason I wasn't scared. If they came here to kill me, maybe that was a good thing. Any pain is better than this kind of pain. I walked through to my kitchen and I was right. There was someone in my house. But they hadn't come here to kill me; they had come here for a completely different reason.

"Taylor?" I asked shocked, my voice came out a little rough from the crying earlier that night.

"Bella? Is that really you?" I edged closer to her, hoping that I wasn't dreaming, and that she wouldn't go up in a puff of smoke.

"Of course it's really me. Is that really you Tay? You're going to disappear are you?" I asked still edging closer. She reached out to hug me. I reached too, still not sure if I was awake or sleeping. I was awake. As soon as I felt her cold arms touch me I knew it. She pulled me closer careful not to crush me and began stroking my hair. I felt fresh tears fall down my face and onto her clothes. I pulled away to look at her. What was she doing here?

"I thought you'd never come back. Tr ... he said, promised, that you would never 'bother' me again. Why are you here Tay?" I asked still hugging her but looking into her golden eyes. She looked confused for a moment, undecided whether she should tell me. She looked down on me with her eyes brimming with tears.

"I saw ... I saw you ... dead" She whispered. It wasn't that she saw me in the future that shocked me. You see Taylor has ... powers, she can see the future. It's definite with the weather but people it was different. They change their mind, she can only see the plans they have at that time, if they change, so do her visions. I wasn't particularly shocked that she saw me dead, of course I was going to die, someday.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw you drowning in the sea. You went under, and then you disappeared. You were dead Bella" I stared into her orb-like eyes certain that she was telling the truth. I racked my brains for any memories of me drowning. It was yesterday.

Flashback

I needed to be distracted; I couldn't face the pain again today. It was horrible this morning, not as worse as it had ever been but worse than it had been for a while. I woke in a sweat, my arms clutched around me and my hands on my heart. It was the dream, the same dream but more vivid than ever before. The dream, memory really, of him leaving me. Only my imagination made it worse by making him say things that I shouldn't have to hear ... ever.

I went over to Chad's house hoping he could ease my pain. Whenever I was with him everything seemed ... okay almost. He had this effect on me, he was just happy all the time and it rubbed off on me. He helped me most when I was ... numb. After that time.

I spent most of my time with him, he kept me happy, I didn't have to force myself to smile and make conversation it just came naturally. He had promised me that he would take me cliff-diving. He said today would be best because of the warm weather and less wind. When he cancelled on me I needed to keep distracted, to stop the hole from getting bigger, so I went off on my own. Cliff-diving on my own for the first time, not the best idea I'd had, but I wasn't exactly normal was I? I made my way to the cliff, not where I should have jumped from but right from the top, the most dangerous place to jump from. I reached the edge and took a deep breath. There it was again.

His voice.

It always seemed to come when I was in danger, when something I was about to do could possibly hurt a lot.

"Don't do it Bella. You know it's wrong" His voice told me. I answered his voice in my head, knowing if I spoke out loud it would make me seem even more insane.

"I'm doing this for a reason, and you're the reason" I said back. I know he couldn't possibly hear me, but somehow talking to 'him' it felt right. Everything felt okay. I stepped even closer to the edge my toes hanging off, I took another deep breath and jumped. It was amazing, I felt free like nothing mattered ... until I hit the water. I was struggling for breath and the waves beat against me. I could sense the rocks behind me; I was going to hit them soon. And I couldn't do anything to stop it. Then I saw him. He was right there in front of me, close enough for me to touch, but too far to hold.

I watched him as I felt everything go dark. That was the way it should be. Me looking at his face the moment before I died. But I didn't die something or someone pulled me out of the water just in time. Then I was suddenly warm, and his face was gone from my view ... again.

End Flashback

"Why didn't you see me being pulled out?" I asked Taylor, she looked just as confused as me.

"I ... I don't know. The only people, things, I can't see are werewolves. Did a werewolf pull you out?" I shook my head. How could she know this? Chad had only told me he was a werewolf and I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't tell anyone.

"It was Chad and yes, he's a werewolf" I sighed shaking my head. She already knew so I wasn't doing anything wrong by confirming her suspicions. Her eyes suddenly went dark gold. Staring into space, I knew instantly what was happening. She was having a vision. When she came back to her senses I immediately knew it was bad. She wouldn't look at me, not even when I grabbed her shoulders and forced her look at me.

"What did you see!?" I demanded. When she did finally look at me I could tell she was torn in two. One half was screaming out what was wrong, and telling me the problem. The half, shying away from the problem, wanting to run and hide. She chose the screaming half.

"Troy knows that you're dead. Well, he thinks you're dead and he's in Italy right now" She sighed and looked at me. Just hearing his name made the hole burn, but it didn't burn quiet as much as I thought it would. Then something clicked.

Italy.

"You don't irate the Volturi. Not unless you want to die – or whatever it is we do."

"NO! Why would he do that!? How could he even think of that!?" I screamed running my hands through my messy hair, shaking my head. How? Why? Why would he care if I was dead? He left me!

"Taylor, are you sure!? You can't possibly have made a mistake can you?! Taylor answer me!" I yelled shaking her once more by the shoulders. She shook her head and stared into my now watering eyes.

"Why he do that? Why should he care if I was alive or dead? He left me! He doesn't love me anymore, that's why he left" I was speaking more to myself than anyone else but Taylor answered anyway.

"He didn't plan on out living you. He didn't plan to be in a world where you're not. He cares if you're alive or dead because if you're dead then so is he. He's been dead the past how many months without you, and he does love you. That's why he left. He left because he loves you Bella. You can't possibly imagine how much" She whispered. If he loved me ... then what was we doing here? We had to stop him! I had to stop him.

"Taylor we have to stop him. We have to get to him before he does something stupid" She nodded her head and began to write a note. For Maria I guessed. When she was finished she picked me up into her cold arms and carried me to her car. She stepped on the gas pedal and got to the airport in less than 15 minutes, even though it was 1 hour drive away. We boarded the plane to Italy and drove to where Troy was. It took longer than Taylor had anticipated and she was getting worried. I was already a nervous wreck, I knew that what he was about to do only I could stop him. He was about to step into the sunlight with thousands of ... humans around. That was why I had to stop him, because Taylor couldn't step into the sunlight either. I would have to run as fast as my clumsy feet would let me, and not stop when I fell down. I couldn't lose Troy just because he thought I was dead.

I could see where I would have to run too. Taylor kept herself hidden in the shadows as she led me there. When it was time she pushed me in the right direction and made her own way to the same spot using the shadows as coverage. I ran as fast as I could, refusing to give in when I knew I couldn't run anymore. I wasn't looking where I was going and ran into a fountain. The people before me wouldn't get out of my way but I had an idea.

A shortcut.

I ran through the fountain, the cold water splashing all of me, and raced through the people. They willingly moved out of my way now, not wanting to get wet. I looked at the clock. At exactly noon Troy would step into the sunlight and scare half these people to death. I had exactly 2 minutes to get to him, and I could see him. Standing in an alleyway, waiting for the right moment.

"Troy!" I knew my effort was wasted but I hoped, with his extremely good hearing, he would be able to hear me. He didn't. I carried on running, I had to make it. Had to. He was less than an arms width away. I ran into him, if he wasn't as hard as granite we would have both been on the floor. He looked at me, stroking my hair.

"Troy. Troy I'm not dead! Don't do this" He couldn't hear me. He was muttering to himself in his low, velvety voice. My dreams and hallucinations had not done him justice.

"You were right dad. It was quicker than I thought. They are good" He kept repeating this to himself. I couldn't think of anything to snap him out of it and then I saw Taylor behind us in the shadows. She was watching us with fear written all over her beautiful face. I looked back at him and had a sudden idea. I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed him with all my force.

He didn't kiss back at first but then he seemed shocked and pulled away.

"Bella?! Gabriella!? I thought you were dead"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'm perfectly fine, but you're not. You're about to blow you're secret ... all because you thought I was dead "I whispered shaking my head. He placed his hands on my cheeks and rubbed his thumbs over them. His eyes searched mine, seeking the truth.

"I couldn't live if you were dead" I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"When you left you basically killed me yourself. Didn't you ever think what that would do to me?" He removed his hands from my cheeks and stared at the ground. Even though he was impossibly stronger than me I still managed to lift his chin to look at me.

"I forgive you, as long as you know that you were wrong to leave me behind. I can't live without you either, and that means I have to be with you. Knowing that you're alive in the same world was some comfort but not enough. When you left you took a part of me with you, you do understand that don't you?" He nodded his head and pulled me into a hug.

"When I left, I killed myself too. I have to love you. I know I was wrong to leave you behind ... now. I thought I was helping you; I thought you'd move on and forget me. And I left a part of me behind too. A big part. I can't live without you Gabriella" I hugged him tighter and let my tears fall freely down my face. He could feel them on his skin so he pulled back and wiped them with his cool fingers. His fingers were tracing the shape of my face and my features. When he reached my lips I kissed his fingers softly and looked up at him. His blue eyes had never been so blue all the time that I'd known him. And then my heart stopped.

He smiled that same crooked smile that I'd missed for so long. I smiled back up at him and giggled. I forced my lips onto his and was happy when he responded. When we pulled apart I rested my forehead on his and sighed.

"I love you" We both said at the same time, which made us both laugh. My ears were filled with his musical laughter which made me cry. My memories which I tried not to think of had not been clear enough. Real Troy was much more than my imagination could have thought up.

"Don't ever leave me again" I warned. He simply kissed my lips and whispered against them.

"I promise"