Why does anyone fall in love with the people they do? Well, other people may have complicated reasons. Mine, however, were simple.

He was different.

He seemed so together, even if he was dying inside.

I won't lie, he was gorgeous.

His eyes captivated me, like nothing else could.

Who was he? His name was Joe. Joe Jonas to be exact. Who am I? Well my name is Lillian Truscott, Lilly for short. I knew Joe way before he ever got famous. Best friends forever didn't last when he moved to Wyckoff. He told me he wouldn't forget me. Sometimes I wonder if that boy was lying. I've spent hours trying to decipher his words, searching for a hidden meaning beneath the syllables.

" I love you Lilly. I'll never ever forget you, even if you decide you don't want to remember me. You'll always be in my heart, no matter what."

I'll probably never forget the way his tears felt against my wet cheek, or how his arms desperately pulled me into the last hug I ever let any guy give me, including my father.

It's been five years since that boy left me for Wyckoff. Five years since I ever felt loved by a guy. I miss him more than words could ever say. I never could forget him, even if I wanted to. I suppose holding onto silly middle school romances is one of my better talents.

" Lilly!? Snap out of it!" My best friend Miley snapped her fingers at me to snap me out of my distant thoughts of Joe.

" Huh? What? Oh, sorry Miley, got lost in thought." She sighed and flipped her brunette waves huffily over her shoulder, undoubtedly knowing what my mind had wandered to.

" Good god Lils. One minute you are all psyched for shopping, and the next you space out when I mention about our JoBro Tickets! You'll be fine. You actually get to see him Lilly! Don't deny that you want to. I know you do. I've talked to Nick and Joe wants to see you. He's missed you."

" If he really fucking missed me, he wouldn't have left for stupid Wyckoff!" My eyes must have looked like sparkling diamonds, they were so filled with tears.

" Lilly! Why do you always assume that he was the one who made the decision to move all the way across the country to Wyckoff? It was his dad's! Nick told me everything! Joe was yelling and screaming at his father because he didn't want to leave you. He loves you Lils. He regrets everything, all the hurt, and the tears he made you cry. He has never forgiven his dad for making him hurt you."

I turned away. I hated myself so fucking much for acting like this. But Miley never had to feel that missing hurt. The emptiness where he used to be. Well, still was, but he was distant. But she never had to feel the blissful sting of the razor as it hit her wrist. She never felt it, and she probably never would. She didn't love Joe Jonas like I did, and still do, and she never could.

" You just don't understand Miley. You never had to feel him leave. I did. And that's why I don't think I can do this. I can't watch him go away again." I looked away, unable to watch her incredulous look.

" Please, Lilly. You have to trust me. This is what you need. You need to see him again. Ever since you started sleeping at my house since your parents have been fighting, I've heard you talking in your sleep. You say his name. And a couple times, you said you missed him. Don't tell me that you can't go see him."

" Fine. I'll go. But I will not promise anything. I'm sure he can expect that after everything."

" No one's ever said that you had to. Okay? I'm just glad you are coming. Joe will be so happy!"

I wasn't sure how to cope with this new idea of actually seeing him after five years. How had he changed? Well, I mean on the inside. He's definitely changed on the outside. His hairs longer, and he looks very, and I mean very well built. Suddenly I started to rub my arm, but I didn't notice.

Miley did.

" LILLIAN TRUSCOTT! Let me see your arm!"

" No! Why do you need to?"

I tried to pull my arm away, but Miley was too quick. She thrust my shirt sleeve up and stared angrily at what she saw.

And there they were. Faded pink letters spelling out J-O-E. I couldn't explain this to Miley, and she never let me anyway.