Chapter Six

Runaway

Afterwards I had no clear picture about how we got out of the caves. It was very dark in the back of the van, and there were no windows, which made it impossible to see where we were going. I only knew that Jeb was driving way too fast, and that I sat in the back of the van, cramped between Trudy and Mel, who were both chewing on their fingernails. My feet ached, because there was so little space for me to move. Even worse, though, was the aching in my heart. It was growing worse every moment, because every passing second was taking me farther away from Ian.

I gripped Mel's hand tightly. She bit her nails almost absently, and I could tell she was thinking about Jared. Where were they now? Were they still alive? Still human?

Had the situation not been so serious, I would have laughed at the irony. I had spent most of my life in this planet being afraid of humans, wishing they would disappear... And now I prayed more than anything that my friends would stay human, because I didn't think I could love them any other way. I was beginning to see that we souls had been wrong about many things. We thought that humans were less than we were, that they weren't as wise, or creative, or kind... And that's why we thought that it was right for us to take over their world, because they weren't as good as we. But we were wrong. Humans had many gifts we would never have. They could love and hate so passionately, it could control their whole life. Maybe it was because they had so much to lose. We didn't. We were only experiencing life, not really living it.

A sudden gasp escaped my throat as Mel fell over me and knocked me down without a warning.

"What - ?" I started.

"Sorry", she breathed.

As I looked around, I saw that everyone else had problems with their balance too. Apparently the van had done a sharp turn.

"Are you trying to kill us, Jeb?" Mel shouted out loud.

We could hear Jeb's mirthless chuckle behind the wall. "Sorry, kid. Just tryin' to save us all."

I felt a twinge of guilt as he talked about saving. To be honest, he wasn't the one who was saving us, and he must have known that too. It was Jared and Kyle and Brandt and Ian, who had stayed behind and risked their lives so we had enough time to get out of the caves. It was Aaron and Heath, who had left to meet their death, so the helicopter wouldn't catch us. Were they already dead by now?

Fresh tears filled my eyes as I thought about them - careful Aaron, who had never liked me, and contemplative Heath, who had never wanted any harm to anyone. They didn't deserve this. They didn't deserve this at all.

"Wanda!" Trudy put her arms around me in a comforting manner - yet it wasn't comforting at all, because it was not the pair of arms I longed for. I began to cry harder.

"We'll get out of here. You know we will", Mel said firmly.

"I don't want to get out of here!" I murmured through my sobs.

They glanced at each other, worried. Then Mel began comforting me as well as she could. She said that she understood me and that she didn't want to leave either, but the men knew what was best for the situation. That didn't sound very reassuring, because just a few minutes ago she had been cursing Jared, because he had refused to let her stay with him.

"They'll come back alive. They always do."

"What about Heath and Aaron?" I shot back. "They won't come back alive."

A silence fell upon us. I could tell that they all felt guilty, because they hadn't offered to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, yet they were extremely relieved that no one had asked them to. It was true that humans were selfish to the core. But wasn't I selfish, too? I had wanted to keep Ian with me, even though his help was needed elsewhere. I had tried to marry him, too - to start a family with him, because I loved him. But that wasn't meant to happen, either. It was too unnatural. Yet I didn't care - not really, not anymore. Right now, if someone had offered to bring Ian back to me, I would have accepted, whether I was supposed to or not. I just couldn't bear to lose him.

"All right, brace yourselves", Jeb commanded gruffly through the wall. "We're out of the caves. The helicopter's down, which means it hasn't seen us yet. But the second it does..."

His foot hit the gas pedal harder, and the car made a sharp turn that made me lose my balance. The next thing I felt was my head knocking against something hard, and then nothing - just the black, merciful darkness...

bbb.

I woke up in the darkness. At first I thought I was still at the back of the van, but then I realised it was impossible. It was too cold - and the air was too fresh, as if I were outside. But how on Earth could that be possible? They would never take me out, not as the Seekers were behind us. So were was I? Why was I not in the car anymore?

Slowly, I turned my head. It was aching, as if someone had hit it with a hammer. Even focusing my gaze hurt - maybe because there was nothing for it to focus on. Just the darkness. It was different than the darkness of the caves - deeper and somehow... darker. It made me shiver.

A terrible possibility filled my mind. Had the Seekers caught us? Was I in some kind of hospital now, locked up until they would find time to interrogate me? Or was I... Was I dead? What if the Seekers had decided that I was a traitor, and deserved to die? Certainly, it was not the way souls handled things... But maybe the rules had changed.

To be honest, I had no idea what death was supposed to feel like. I only knew it was final - but what was final? I had tried to picture it in every single one of my lives, but never got anywhere. All species had a different idea about death, and they affected my ideas too. This was humans' idea about death. The black, never ending darkness.

Fear gripped my insides. I didn't want to be dead. I couldn't be dead. What about Ian? I still didn't know what had happened to him. There was no way I could die before I knew he was all right. And I was pregnant. If I died... Surely my offspring couldn't survive?

Tears filled my eyes, as I thought about the little beginning of a life inside me. It was so small, almost non-existent, yet the most powerful thing I had ever known. I didn't think I could bear it, if I had destroyed it too.

Suddenly, a light. It flashed before my eyes so brightly that for a second I thought I had lost my eyesight. Then things began to get clearer. There really was a light - and not just any weak light, but bright, strong, real light. A bit yellowish. It reminded me of hospitals.

I tried to sit up, but I was too weak to move my muscles. Was it because I had been drugged by the Healers, or because I was dead?

"Don't try to move", a strange voice commanded. It belonged to a male, but I had never heard it before, or at least I didn't recognize it. Probably a Healer, I thought worriedly. Or a Seeker who had come to ask me some questions, before taking me out of this body.

"Whatma - " my words came out in a slur.

"You hit your head pretty hard", the voice continued. "We healed you, of course, but you might still have a concussion, so please take it easy."

That tone. That overly pleasant voice. It could only belong to another soul. So they had really taken me captive. What had he said? That I had hit my head, but they had healed... And what was a concussion? I was sure I had heard Doc use the phrase once or twice, when I had hit my head somewhere... The time I had fainted on the fields...

My thoughts ran way more slowly than I would have liked.

"Wanderer? Do you hear what I'm saying?"

A hand landed on my shoulder and brushed it carefully. It, too, felt a bit sore.

I whimpered.

"Don't worry, Wanderer. You are safe now."

Safe... Whose definition of safe as it? Ours, or theirs? More importantly, who were us? And who were them?

Oh, my. What had happened to my friends? If I was safe, if Healers had taken care of me... That could only mean that the Seekers had caught us. What had they done to my friends?

I sat up so quickly I almost fell down on my nose.

"Whoa, be careful, Wanderer!" the voice laughed and grabbed my shoulders before I could fall. "Move slowly! Of course, it would be better if you didn't move at all."

"Jamie... Mel..."

"Your friends are fine. Well, that unfriendly one called Lacey, she has a concussion... Apparently your friend Melanie knocked her down. These humans, they can be very violent sometimes, don't you agree?" "Who are you?" I whispered hoarsely.

"Oh, don't you remember me? I'm Burns. One of Nate's group. The other native, remember?" I could tell from his voice that he was grinning.

Burns. Nate's group. The words slowly filled my mind. Did that mean -

"So we - ?"

"Escaped? Yes. From what I've heard from your peculiar friend Jeb, it was a really close call, but you did it. The distraction worked."

It worked. So Aaron and Heath were dead.

I closed my eyes and mourned.

"There, there." Burns patted my shoulder gently. "I know it's hard. Didn't please me either. But I have lived here long enough to know that sometimes you have to make sacrifices."

"Only if you're a human", I whispered.

"No." He shook his head firmly. "We know it too. The Seekers know it."

"That's why... I don't... like Seekers."

He chuckled. "Well, I can assure you you won't have to meet them for a while. You are safe here."

"Where exactly is... here?" I asked slowly. "It's so dark..."

"It's because it's basically underground. It's the safest place we could find."

"Oh."

I was quiet for a moment, trying to process everything I had heard. Heath and Aaron had died to save us, and we were safe. Only Lacey was hurt - and I, of course. Somehow it seemed that no matter what happened, I was always the one who got hurt.

"What happened to me?"

"Your friend Melanie says that Jeb's car turned sharply, and you lost your balance and hit your head on a sharp corner of a box. It could have happened to anyone."

Of course. That was what Ian would have said too, trying to comfort -

"Ian!" I exclaimed, as I remembered. How could I have forgotten. "Where is Ian?"

Burns looked confused. "Who is Ian?"

"Ian! My Ian! You've met him, remember? When we first met? Black hair, blue eyes?"

"The man who looked like he would kill us if we even tried to touch you?"

I nodded. That was as good a description as any.

"Sorry", Burns shook his head. "I haven't seem him around here."

A wave of pain flooded through my chest. He must have seen it, because he put his arms around me as if to stop me from falling again.

"Where does it hurt?"

"My heart..."

"Oh." He nodded in understanding. "He is your partner, isn't he?"

It was my turn to nod.

"I understand. These human feelings can be really strong sometimes."

"If you just knew..."

"I can go and ask, if anyone has seen this Ian", Burns nodded.

"Please do so", I begged. "I'm really... worried. He and some others stayed behind and tried to delay the Seekers. If they haven't come yet..."

"Don't worry about it, Wanderer. I'm sure they have only got lost. It is very difficult to find a way to our hideout. They will come soon, I am sure of it."

I wished I could have believed him, but I didn't.

bbb.

Burns came back an hour later, announcing that no one had seen Ian and the others, nor knew anything about their movements. The news were so painful to hear, for a while it felt like I would die there and then. But I couldn't do that. Not now, not when Ian was somewhere in the desert, maybe captured or hurt - or, worst of all, dead - because he had wanted to protect me and our child. I had to make sure he was fine. And if he wasn't... I would run around the world, if that was what I needed to do to find him. I would not give.

I got on my feet, ignoring Burns's warnings and protects. My legs felt like jelly, and my head was spinning, but I was sure I would stay on my feet - not because of I was strong or anything, but because I had to. There was no other choice.

"Where are the others?"

"In the dining room. They are... discussing about the situation", Burns said carefully.

"Discussing?" I repeated, frowning.

"Yes. About whether they should send someone to look for your friends."

"Are they actually discussing about that?" I almost shouted. "Of course someone should go and search for them! They are part of the group! Our friends!"

"Wanderer, calm down", he pleaded, looking me straight to the eye. He had comforting eyes, probably because they reminded me about my real family. He was a soul like me. So why didn't he sound like one?

"The situation is... Complicated", Burns continued, a pained expression on his face. "The Seekers are probably still out there, trying to figure out where you disappeared. It is dangerous to go out right now."

"But they risked their lives for us! They put themselves in danger! Of course we have to do the same for them!" "I know, Wanderer, I know. But sometimes we have to think about the... greater good."

I stared at him, shocked.

"You sound like a human!" "I've been here for many years", he exclaimed with a dry smile. "I was bound to learn something."

"Learn... Or forget", I said, unable to hide the bitterness in my voice.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not proud about it. I'd much rather be still peaceful and kind and... and happy. But things don't work like that in this world. Here you have to fight for what you love."

"But - "

"We come here to experience things, not to change them", he reminded me gently.

"What about us?" I whispered. "What if we change ourselves?"

At that, he didn't answer, but took my hand and led me to the dining room. On the way, I did my best to look around myself to pick up the differences between our caves and this hideout, but I did poor job. Burns's hand in my own bothered me. I knew it was supposed to be a friendly, comforting gesture - common among all souls - but still, it felt wrong. It wasn't the hand I missed so much.

The dining room was huge. Although there were fewer of them than us, they certainly had more space than we ever did. It was not difficult to notice that the whole place was built underground. It smelt funny, a bit mouldy and stuffy. I was not at all sure, whether or not I liked it. Still, it was beautiful. The walls were wood, as was the floor. It was a nice change to the uneven rock floor of the caves. In the middle of the room was a long, wooden table filled with plates and candles. There was enough room for maybe thirty people. The rest of them sat on a floor, or on each other's laps.

There certainly were many of them. It was probably the first time our group had met another humans for many years, but still the atmosphere wasn't particularly happy. It had probably something to do with the loss of our home, and - even more importantly - the loss of Aaron and Heath.

"Wanderer is here", Burns announced, as we stopped at the door.

Everyone turned to look at me. So many familiar faces, so many strange ones...

"She's the one Nate told you about", Burns explained to the unfamiliar faces. "The one who's gone native."

All at once, they began to smile at me. Apparently, people like me and Burns were much appreciated here. Had the circumstances been different, I would have been very happy about it. Now I was just... grateful.

"Wanda!" Jamie jumped up from his seat. "Come and eat! You can have my spot!" "No, Jamie." I began to shake my head. "I'm not hungry."

"Of course you are. There's no use arguing."

"I'm not trying to argue", I said honestly. My voice was exhausted. "I really can't eat. I'm too... Worried."

Their smiles faded, as their thoughts jumped to Ian and the others.

"Oh, Wanda, I'm sure they are fine", Heidi said in a reassuring voice. "They are just probably being extremely careful, to ensure that they won't lead any Seekers here."

"Or maybe they are dead", I said bluntly, too worried to listen to their attempts to comfort me. "We have to go looking for them."

"Well, now, Wanda, that's a tricky thing", Jeb started in his deep voice.

I shook my head adamantly. "No, there's nothing tricky about it. We have to go and find them."

"We will, we just have to - "

"Wait?"

"Wanda, they risked their lives so we could get out of there. It would be a poor way of showing our gratitude, if we got ourselves killed", Jeb said firmly.

I kept shaking my head. Why couldn't they understand? It wasn't about surviving, or being grateful or letting it show - it was about the fact that I loved him.

"Please, don't tell me you agree with him, Mel", I pleaded, looking at her.

Mel twitched uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, of course I don't like it - "

"How can you say that? It's Jared!"

"And he knows what he wants", Mel answered, though in dissatisfied tone. "This is what he wanted, so... I'll just have to live with it."

I stared at her, unable to believe my ears. So she really wasn't going to take my side? She looked back at me, apologizing wordlessly, but didn't look like she going to change her mind. I sighed and turned to look at the others. It was not easy to tell that they agreed with Jeb. They were still mourning the loss of their home, and overwhelmed by this new, underground hideout. They were just happy to be safe. Of course, they seemed to pity me, but that wasn't enough. They weren't going to help me in any way.

"I know this is hard for you, kiddo", Jeb muttered gruffly. "But let's give it a few days, okay? Wouldn't do us any good to wander in the desert and get us caught, if they arrive here on their own in a couple a' days."

Disappointment flowed through me. Devastated, I turned on my heels and stumbled back to the dim corridor I had come from. I really had no idea of where I was going. I had no room here, this was not my home - just a place I'd ended up in. Just like any other place. It mattered nothing to me.

I found an empty room that looked a lot like washroom. There were washing machines and ironing boards, and clean clothes hanging everywhere. Through my sorrow I could only wonder, how they had gotten all these things unnoticed. Then I realised that Burns had probably been with humans much longer than I had. He would have no problem in "buying" these things.

I sat in the corner of room, between two enormous washing machines. There wasn't much space, but I didn't mind. I just wanted to be alone. My head was already so full of incoherent thoughts, it felt like it was going to burst if someone tried to speak to me.

Ian, my thoughts cried. Ian, where are you? They won't let me look for you. Please be okay. Please come back to me and say you are fine.

There was no answer; just the low hum of the washing machine next to me. I pressed my ear against it and closed my eyes. It shuddered against me, but I didn't really feel it, because I was shaking, too. Ian had to come back to me. That was the only way I could live with myself anymore. Otherwise I would just... Well, not die, but certainly fade away - and even that would be preferable.

A sad laugh escaped my throat as I remembered my earlier thoughts about leaving this group as soon as the danger was over. What a fool I had been! Of course I couldn't leave this group. I needed them too much, even though I was putting them in danger. Was I selfish now? If I was, I didn't care. I wanted to be with Ian.

bbb.

"Wanderer?" Someone was gently shaking my shoulders. "Wanderer? Wake up! We've been looking all over for you!"

Slowly, I opened my eyes. I didn't really have any will to do so, but I was too curious. Who had been looking for me? Well, apparently everybody - but who was this person? And why hadn't they found me sooner? I had just been in my room, as usual -

No, I hadn't, I realised then. This was not my room. There was no mattress, no messy piles of clothes, no darkness - just the piercing, white light that shone from the ceiling, and white washing machines everywhere. I was still in the washing room. I must have fallen asleep at some point.

And this was Burns, I recognized him now. He had the same reflective eyes than I did. He looked like home.

"Hello", I said in raspy voice.

"Everyone has been really worried. They thought you had gone outside."

"Outside?" I repeated. "I don't even know where the door is."

"That's what I told them too, but that Melanie said you would - " He didn't finish his sentence.

"I would what?" I prompted.

"Never mind", he shrugged. "I'm just glad I found you. Why did you came here in the first place? All right, I know there's not enough rooms for all of us yet, but there's no need for anyone to sleep between the washing machines!"

My eyes flicked to my fingers. I didn't want to look him in the eye.

"Oh." He seemed to finally process my mood. "You are still worried about your partner."

"How could I not be?" I said, exasperated. "I know I'm probably the only one who even cares, but still - how can they just ignore the fact that their friends might be in trouble?"

"They don't like it anymore than you do. But they are right, your friends wouldn't be happy if you got caught by Seekers because of them."

"I don't care!" I cried. "I don't care at all!"

"He really is important to you", Burns noticed, probably for the very first time.

I nodded. I knew I couldn't really explain it - after all, how could I explain the fact that Ian was my anchor, the only thing that had ever tied me anywhere? Without him I would still be wandering between the worlds, unable to stay anywhere. Of course, I would miss Melanie and Jamie and Jared, if I were gone, but I could live with that. I always had. But to live without Ian... That wasn't even a possibility.

"He's the father of my child", I explained. That much even Burns could understand.

He looked surprised. "Are you pregnant?"

"Yes. I know it doesn't show yet, but - "

"Well, that's a first. A human and a soul in love, expecting a child. Who would have guessed this day would come?" He laughed silently to himself.

"I did." I raised my chin.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that", Burns apologized quickly. "There's nothing wrong with it, I just... I'd never have thought it was even possible. Of course, biologically, it is possible, but the feelings..."

He trailed off.

"So, you have never been in love?" I guessed.

"No. My body has never been in love. Neither have I." He sounded wistful.

"But you like Nate."

"Oh, yes. Very much. He is my very best friend."

"Was... Was he the reason you ended up here?"

Burns shook his head with a sad smile. "No, not directly. It was his partner. Shannon. She was a human. My host, Jeremy, was her twin brother."

I nodded at him, encouraging him to continue.

"When Jeremy got caught, at first he was - " Burns cleared his throat. "Difficult. He refused to fade away, like he was supposed to. I'm sure you know the feeling."

"You could say so..."

"He was impossible. He never let me alone. He kept talking to me about his sister, showing me memories about her, yelling at me that he was supposed to take care of her... I guess you can figure out the rest. I started to look for Shannon. The last time Jeremy had seen her, she had also been on a run from the Seekers. We guessed there might still be a chance that she was human, so we searched for her everywhere. Then, in Minneapolis we suddenly found her. Well, we found her body. She was... Dead."

Burns's eyes started to gleam. I swallowed with difficulty.

"That was where I met Nate. He was mourning beside her body. He told us that she had had one of those pills your group has... The cyanide pills. She had... She had swallowed it rather than get caught. I've never been so full of sorrow in my life. I felt like an intruder, a monster... I wanted to rip myself out of Jeremy's head, so he could go on with his life. But he had other plans. After he found Shannon dead, he just... Lost his will to fight. So he disappeared. I've been looking for him ever since, but he's gone. He faded away. There's just me now." "I'm sorry."

"It's all right." Somehow, Burns managed to smile. "I came here with Nate and started over. This is my life now."

"But not mine", I whispered. "My life is with Ian."

bbb.

At some point I managed to fall asleep. It was not deep, and my dreams were so restless that when I woke up the next morning, I felt like I hadn't slept at all. My neck hurt after spending so many hours curled up in a chair.

I put on my clothes and wandered to the dining room, in hopes of seeing Ian there. But my hope crashed the second I reached the door. There were no new faces - just my friends, and the strangers I had met yesterday.

Slowly, I slumped down next to Mel.

"Any word from them?"

"No", Mel answered with a frown. "Apparently, that guy called Nate sneaked out so he could see, if they were somewhere near, but he hasn't come back yet."

I nodded. That certainly didn't cheer me up at all.

"Oh, Wanda", Heidi sighed beside me. "You worry too much! I'm sure all the stress is not good for the baby!"

"Maybe it'd help if someone else worried too", I hinted. "Then I wouldn't have to do it all on my own."

"We are worried", Heidi said. "We just - " "You have to think about the larger picture, too. I know", I said quickly and got on my feet. "Is there any work to be done? I'd be more than happy to help."

"Wanda", Heidi said in a reproachful tone. "You haven't eaten your breakfast."

"I can't eat."

"Don't be silly, you have to!"

"I said, I can't eat", I repeated. "I won't be able to stomach it."

"Yes, you will", Mel said and pulled me back on the chair. "Or should I go and ask Jamie to come here?"

She smiled at me meaningfully. I wanted to curse her. Why on Earth had we had to share the same body?

I grabbed a piece of wheat toast from a plate and stuffed it into my mouth. "Happy?"

"I'd be happier if you didn't speak while your mouth is full of food", she muttered.

I sighed and left the dining room. Soon I was joined by a tall redhead, who introduced herself as Charlotte and offered to find me something to do.

"Really? That's so nice of you", I thanked sincerely.

She smiled at me. "My husband goes on raids often. Sometimes he's gone for weeks, and I'm always worried sick. Believe me, I know how you feel. It's easier if there's something you can busy yourself with."

"That's true", I agreed.

She took me to the laundry room and asked me to help patch up some clothes. I had never done it before, but she showed me how to do it. It was quite easy - all you had to do was use a needle. I took a pile of shirts and started to patch them up. Charlotte sat down beside me and chatted about meaningless things. I was surprised to here that her husband's name was Nate.

"The same Nate that owns this place?"

"Yes, the same", she said with a smile. Then she frowned. "You seem surprised."

"It's just that..." I hesitated. I didn't want to offend her or hurt her. "I thought he was in love with that girl called Shannon." "He was", Charlotte agreed. "But she died many years ago, and eventually... He moved on."

That shocked me. I didn't understand, how on Earth could someone move on. At least I would not be able to. Not even if the worst should happen and I would lose Ian - no, I would not move on. I would never love anyone else. He would always be the only one for me.

bbb.

The day passed slowly. I did obediently whatever they told me to do, but my heart wasn't really set on it. Afterwards I couldn't even say, what I had been doing or who I'd been with. Occasionally, someone tried to talk to me, to get to know me. I answered their questions mechanically, but when I later tried to recall what I had said, nothing came to me. I couldn't remember their faces. It was like they hadn't talked to me at all.

I kept glancing at the clock every few minutes, wondering why time didn't pass faster. When it was finally late enough to go to bed, I didn't know whether I should be disappointed or relieved. Disappointed, because they hadn't come back today. Relieved, because I could finally fall asleep and forget everything for a while. I curled next to Mel on a squeaking mattress and tried to close my eyes.

bbb.

That night I was hunted by nightmares. I kept seeing Ian in my dreams. He was captured. He sat on a floor that looked like it belonged to a hospital, chained to a heavy-looking chair. I could tell he was waiting for something, because his expression was restless. Then the door opened and two Healers came in. They looked at him with loath.

"All right, it's time to get you out of that body."

I woke up, screaming.

bbb.

The next day passed in a blur. I woke up, I washed myself, I ate, I worked, I talked, I glanced at the clock. No sign of them. No news. Nothing. Just the silence. The words I didn't hear, the sound of my own breathing, the aching heartbeats in my chest.

I heard Mel ask Jeb whether we had waited long enough. She was anxious to find Jared, too, but Jeb told her we had to keep waiting.

bbb.

At some point, I lost count on the days. I stopped living and started existing, because it was so much easier. I didn't have to concentrate on feeling things, or being happy - I merely had to eat when I was told to, and sleep every once in a while, and my heart kept beating on it's own course. Sometimes I wished it would stop. Sometimes I didn't care at all.

Where was Ian now? I tried to imagine him and the others, wandering in the desert, but I couldn't do it. There was no way they would have gotten lost - they were better than that. But if they weren't lost, what was taking them so long?

bbb.

Three more days passed. Seventy-two painful hours of trying to stay calm, trying to control myself. Finally I made a decision. I couldn't do it anymore. It didn't matter what the others said - that we had to be careful, that there was still time, that I had to take care of myself for my child's sake. I was sure that my child would forgive me for endangering it, because I only did it to find it's father.

I waited until everyone had fallen asleep. Usually I slept next to Mel, but she had been absent for a couple of nights. I had no idea where she went every night, but today I was grateful about the fact that she was not with me. It made everything so much easier.

When I was sure that no one would notice me, I sat up and slipped my shoes back on my feet. Then I sneaked out of the room as quietly as possible.

I had prepared well; I knew exactly, where Jeb had left the van. It had been a while since the last time I'd been behind the wheel, because Jared always insisted on driving on the raids, but I was sure I would manage. I searched for the keys in my pocket. I had stolen them earlier today, while I had washed Jeb's coat.

I sat in the front seat and took a deep breath. I could do this. I had food and water. As for the map... I didn't think I would need it this time, because this time I had no idea where I was going. Anywhere, if that meant finding Ian.

"All right", I muttered to myself. "Let's go."

The van purred into life. I slammed my foot on the gas pedal quickly before anyone could hear and come to check on the van. Then I turned the car around, towards the secret exit.

"Whatta - ?" A sleepy, confused voice from the backseat murmured. "Wanda! What the hell are you doing?"

I glanced at the rear mirror, only to see Mel's angry eyes glaring at me.

bbb.

TBC

A/N2: Thank you again for your comments! It's so nice to notice that someone actually likes this, I'm always so insecure about my writings :(