D/C: I live in America, and I am what I own, which is nothing.

Title: Sugar
Pairing: none, really, but if you want one: Itachi/Deidara if you squint
Summary: If you let Itachi and Deidara stay up together, chaos will ensue.

Notes: I wrote this today while I was at work. Seriously. I was getting paid for doing nothing. :D AND I wrote it on Post-Its! :D Am I the awesome or what? Um, anyway... (oh, and btw, this takes place during the first part of Naruto...before the timeskip)

Snap.

Crackle.

Pop.

The campfire flickered, lighting up the faces of four young men. Rather three young men and a guy that looked young. Even the large, seemingly menacing weeping willows surrounding the group looked as if they housed kind, beautiful sprites thanks to the firelight.

It was quiet...

Too quiet for Deidara.

CRACK.

Kisame and Itachi jumped slightly, and Sasori sighed deeply.

"Whaaat?" Deidara whined, blowing another pink bubble.

Itachi stared frostily at his junior. "It is inappropriate to blow bubbles from bubblegum at such an inopportune time."

"Itachi-san's right, kid," Kisame rested his head against his palm.

Sasori held out a hand. "Give me the rest of your gum, Deidara. We're confiscating it."

Mumbling darkly, Deidara fished around inside his coat and relinquished several packs of bubblegum to Sasori. He folded his arms and pouted.

"Really, Deidara, you're 16 years old; don't be so childish." Sasori sighed, pocketing the gum.

"Well, if you all weren't such boring people, I wouldn't have to be, un." the youngest Akatsuki member muttered.

He was with frosty stares all around.

"Excuse me, but if you're so bored, why don't you do something productive?" Kisame said.

Deidara continued to pout.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed. Who's with me?" Kisame stood up and looked at the other three.

Sasori followed suit. "I'll retire, too." Rather, he was going to go into his tent and brood as usual, seeing as puppets couldn't sleep.

Kisame looked at Itachi expectantly. "Itachi-san?" Itachi shook his head. "Not yet...I'm going to stay up a bit and have a chat with this brat."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING BRAT, UN?!" Deidara shrieked, frightening a few birds and squirrels.

Itachi was unperturbed. "You, of course."

"Dammit, you are so dead the next the sun comes out, you bastard, un!!"

Kisame and Sasori escaped into their tents while they could.

"Do try to keep it down. Anyone interfering with the mission could hear us." Itachi simply said.

"BLEAH." Deidara stuck his tongue out.

"..." Itachi sighed and held out his hand. "Alright, cough it up. I know you hid some gum when Sasori asked for your packs."

Deidara glared. "Why, you gonna take it, too, un?"

"No, I just want some."

Deidara now stared at him like he was truly crazy.

"...It's not going to kill you to give me some gum, Deidara."

"That's the thing, seeing you chewing gum just might, un."

...

"Wait...was that a smirk, un?! Are you smirking at me?!"

Itachi's smirk faded. "I'm not made of ice or stone, you know."

"Coulda fooled me, un."

"..."

"Ohh..." Deidara groaned and pulled out a piece of bubblegum and handed it to Itachi. "Fine. Here you go."

"Hhn."

Bastard didn't even say thanks, un, Deidara thought indignantly. Why I oughta--

CRACK.

Deidara yelped loudly.

"Don't yell so loudly. You'll wake Kisame." Itachi said.

Deidara puffed up his cheeks in irritation and, with his gum from earlier, proceeded to blow a huge bubble. CRACK. "Oh, and that won't, un?!"

CRACK was the reply.

"Is that a challenge, Uchiha Itachi, un?!" Deidara unwrapped another piece of gum and stuck it inside his mouth. "Okay, you're on, bastard!"

"Idiot. Nevertheless..."

For the next five minutes there were no animals in the forest, and it was a wonder Kisame didn't wake up to see where the fireworks were coming from (although if it were fireworks, neither the shark man or Sasori would be at all surprised).

Pop.

"Told you I'd win, Deidara." Itachi said.

"Shut up!" Deidara wheezed.

"Give up?" Itachi smirked.

"I do not g--AACK!" Deidara gagged and grabbed his throat. "Ick. I just swallowed my gum, un."

Itachi nodded. "Ah, yes, most unpleasant."

"Shut up..."

"What? I was merely sympathizing."

"You don't even know the meaning of sympathetic, you stone cold statue, un." Deidara retorted, trying to stand up and swaying. "Whoa...sugar rush."

Itachi simply put a hand to his own head and closed his eyes, focusing on something besides the sugar rush.

"Ick, are you saying you got one too, un?" Deidara groaned.

"Indeed."

"Hey, I bet you got some..." Deidara twirled his hand. "Dango around, un."

Itachi opened his eyes. "And how will even more sugar help?"

Cricket, cricket.

Cricket, cricket, cricket.

"So that means you do have some dango, un!"

Itachi never knew defeat until that moment.

O.o.O.o.O

"Hehe, no, I'm serious, un! This is how you are, Itachi, un!" Deidara giggled.

Dango sticks, gum wrappers, and various other cellophane wrappers lay scattered about the campfire.

Deidara adopted a bored stare.

"Pfft..." Itachi nearly stumbled in his sitting position on the ground. "No, I don't look like that."

Deidara giggled even more, and managed to crawl around the campfire to Itachi. "You are not--hehe--so horrible--hehehe--you know that, right, un?" he began laughing hysterically, and then suddenly he passed out on Itachi's lap.

Itachi began to look dazed and fell flat on his back as the sugar overcame him.

O.o.O.o.O

"Agh..." Itachi's head was hurting as they all walked to the nearby village that was the next mission. "So there is such a thing as a sugar hangover..." he muttered.

Kisame looked at him. "Itachi-san?"

"Remind me to cut sugar completely out of my life, Kisame..."

"HEY, ITACHI!" Deidara bounced over to Itachi. "Last night, man..." he had a big grin on his face.

"What did happen last night?" Kisame asked.

"Nothing..." Itachi sighed.

"Judging the way you two looked this morning, I'd say something--OOF!" Itachi had an adrenaline rush and managed to push Kisame, who was significantly bigger than him in height and weight, into the nearby pond.

"So why does Leader-sama want us to get a plasma TV again, un?" Deidara asked Itachi, tugging on his sleeve.

"I don't know and I could care less," Itachi shortly replied. "Stop bothering me, Deidara."

Deidara grinned widely. "Okay!"

"Hhn." Itachi laid a hand on Deidara's head as if he were petting him. "Whatever." he moved his hand away. "Now go."

Deidara stared as Itachi shuffled ahead, the slightest tint of pink on both boys' cheeks.

"Something definitely happened last night..." Sasori and Kisame muttered.

Yeah...but it's something, right? I mean, not everybody could have the patience to write a fic on Post-Its, right? Please leave reviews! :D