Let Me In

"Mitchie, where are you going? Don't we have to pack?" Caitlyn inquired, watching her newfound friend skip towards the lake with giddiness. The two of them were still high with happiness off the success of the Final Jam. Mitchie smiled one of her huge, trademark smiles, the ones Caitlyn wished she could have, and shook her head.

"I'll pack later. I'm going to meet Shane in the canoes!" She looked just so…happy; Caitlyn couldn't bear to keep her any longer. She nodded and closed the screen door to the cabin, watching a fine mist encompass the tips of the trees.

Caitlyn really was going to miss Mitchie. She'd turned out to be so much more…and, technically, so much less that everyone had expected. What Caitlyn didn't understand was why Mitchie thought she had to lie to everyone. Everyone cared what everyone else thought around here, but that's why Caitlyn kept to herself. People didn't ask questions that way.

Except for Tess. Tess had asked. Last year, when Caitlyn had enrolled in Camp Rock, Tess had approached her immediately, and worked her black magic. Then, as soon as Final Jam was almost there, Tess stole Caitlyn's prized mixing software and replaced it sprayed with bug spray, so when she went on to perform, she made a fool out of herself.

Caitlyn remembered that night vividly. It was one of the worst of her entire life. Blinking back stinging tears that she wouldn't dare let anyone see, she stepped carefully over piles of her and Mitchie's clothes and sprinted into the cool, dense fog that was coming in fast. She could tell the bus ride home was going to be a chilly one. Standing, alone, in the fog, Caitlyn felt safe.

The fog was thick, so she was sure no one could see her. It was around 8:00 pm, so everyone was either cleaning up from Final Jam, packing, or (in Shane and Mitchie's case), kindling Camp romances. No one would see her run.

Running was Caitlyn's escape. Had a rough day at school? She ran. Parents fighting again? She ran. Backstabbing friends? She ran. She loved the beat of her own feet slamming the ground, the forest noises around her setting the background. It was her own, all-natural mix tape. No computer required.

Breathing hard, she slowed down when she reached the lake, not surprised to see Mitchie and Shane stuck to each other like glue, about ready to tip the canoe over. Caitlyn rolled her eyes. She'd never had a boyfriend before, and for this precise reason. They made good girls do stupid things.

She jogged for a little while, just enjoying the silence and the burning satisfaction in her lungs and legs, when she came to the spot she'd discovered her first year at Camp Rock.

It was a small place, now that she'd found it again, but must have seemed huge to her 9 year old self, six years ago. It was a clearing in the trees, one where you could see the moon, always, no matter what time of the summer. It was bathed in moonlight, and Caitlyn could even see little scraps of purple stationary floating around, the same purple stationary that resided in her little journal, residing in the back pocket of her cargo shorts. Inspired by the summer's events, and in need of a good vent, Caitlyn pulled the journal out, using the miniature key that hung around her neck to open it.

That little journal was like a time capsule of her life. Given to her at the beginning of camp her first year, it was meant to be used as a planner, but she found it more useful as a place to store her innermost thoughts and feelings that she just couldn't bring to tell anyone. From her big, messy scrawl of the summer before fourth grade to the moderately neater, small print of just two days ago, this journal meant everything to her.

Friday, July 12th, 2008:

Well, today was Final Jam. And guess what? I didn't beat Tess into the ground like I wanted to. Oh boy, did I want to. But don't worry, I kept my hands to myself. Mitchie, you know, the girl I mentioned earlier as being a lying, manipulative slummer? She sang tonight. She was amazing. But Peggy (who knew her real name was Margaret?) won. I was so happy for her. Tess sang to, and she was conceited as usual, but I think something held her back this time. Don't know what. I can't believe I was ever friends with her. My precious mix tapes and producing software cost me so much money and so much time…they were my life. And she ruined them.

Caitlyn couldn't write anymore about Tess without the tears in her eyes threatening to spill. She hated Tess. She hated the way Tess could make her so…weak. Crying was a sign of weakness, in her book.

"I don't know who you are, but I hope you know this area's off limits," a breathy, soothing voice, somewhat recognizable called. Caitlyn stiffened, clutching her journal to her chest. No one had ever found her here.

The figure that had spoken poked its head from behind a tree and stepped into the moonlight.

"Nate Alexander. What are you doing here?" Caitlyn demanded, feeling protective of her little space. It was something that had always been all hers. Now some stupid pop star had to come and invade it. Nate's first year at camp had also been Caitlyn's, and they'd been relatively good friends until Nate met Shane and Jason, they formed Connect Three, and he got famous.

Brushing a stray brown curl out of his eyes, he replied, "I heard footsteps about ten minutes ago, and decided to follow. Took me awhile to find them." His chocolate eyes bored into her blue ones. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be packing?"

Caitlyn blushed, embarrassed, and mumbled, "This is my place." Nate smiled, and Caitlyn's cheeks warmed again.

"You wanna see my special place?" Surprised, Caitlyn nodded. No one really opened up to her like that. Usually, people just kept their distance.

She walked a few paces behind him until they reached a place she hadn't been before. It was the lake, but from the other side. Caitlyn could faintly make out Shane and Mitchie paddling towards the dock, probably trying not to get caught after hours. Caitlyn didn't really care; it was the last day of camp.

Nate stopped abruptly, in front of a tiny dock, just big enough for the two of them to sit on. Caitlyn sat down first, slipping her flip flops off and sticking her feet in the water, which Nate followed. Suddenly, it began to feel like they were kids again, just enjoying each other's company. The last remnants of a beautiful sunset hung in the air, a pinkish tint barely revealing twinkling stars. The surface of the lake was calm and soft, and the water was cool.

"Nate?" Caitlyn asked tentatively. She hated to sound so vulnerable around him, but she just wanted it to be the same way it used to be.

"Yeah?" he whispered, so their voices wouldn't be heard by any late-night wanderers.

"I want to show you something," she sighed, and pulled out her journal. No, she wasn't about to show him anything she wrote, but there was a little inside pocket, where a folded piece of paper resided.

That folded, frayed piece of paper was a photograph. An old one, yellowing at the edges. It was of a small, brunette girl with big blue eyes and a wide smile, holding a trophy much too large for her, arms around a skinny, curly haired boy, eyes bright with triumph, squeezing the life out of his best friend.

It was of Caitlyn and Nate. They were ten years old, and had just won the Final Jam with a Caitlyn producing the mix, and Nate singing.

Nate smiled, and gently took the photo from her hands. He stared at it for a long time before giving it back to her.

"Those were the days." Caitlyn nodded, and swished her feet around. The sky was now a dark, inky blue, and the stars shone brightly in contrast.

"We've both changed, but you're still that tiny little girl with the big dreams and musical laugh. I'm still the goofy kid with the poofy hair that just wanted to have a friend."

"And you got a best friend."

"I got a best friend. But what happened?" Caitlyn lowered her eyes. She didn't want to talk about this. Everything was a perfect.

"You know what happened. You got famous."

"Yeah. And you closed off from everyone. You always had your guard on. You put a stupid wall up, and didn't let anyone in." Caitlyn raised her gaze to his, and saw the hurt in his eyes. She realized that their rift hadn't been all his fault.

"I hated it when you put up that wall. You shove people out because they hurt you," he said, drawing closer to her. Every word he said was true. "Let me in, Cate. I'm not going to hurt you." He whispered the last part. Caitlyn stayed silent. She was digesting everything she'd been doing for the past couple of years. It wasn't fair to Nate or herself.

"I just…" he continued, "I just want to be around the girl I loved being around. The crazy, wacky girl who would always listen to me, no matter what. The girls who I could count on to never tell anyone I ate the Ronald Franco's cookies when we were 11."

Caitlyn smiled, and turned her eyes upon the boy she'd disregarded for the past three years. He was taller now, probably two inches taller than she was, but his hair was just a curly and poofy as ever. She liked that. His eyes, still glowing, and warm, and understanding. Those eyes had sent butterflies racing through her every time she'd seen them for the last six years, but she'd never have admitted it. But the thing she loved most was that he hadn't changed. He still remembered.

"You want to know why I came back?"

Caitlyn nodded fervently. It was the question she'd been pondering since the Beach Jam, when he'd performed with Connect Three.

"I wanted to be with the girl I love."

Shocked, Caitlyn whipped her head up to meet his eyes, staring into her soul. Her cheeks turned a fiery shade of red, and she wouldn't have been surprised if he could feel the heat radiating off her. Tingles spread throughout her body, making her shiver. She never broke his gaze.

"Nate, I—"

Suddenly, Nate brought his hand up and traced his index finger down her cheek, feeling her dried tears. He leaned in just a little bit, and Caitlyn could smell his sweet, soapy, musky scent. She brought her face closer to his, and just like that, his soft, cool lips were upon hers, encompassing every feeling she'd suppressed for the past six years.

He scooted closer to her, and placed both his hands on the small of her back, allowing her to tangle her arms around his neck, fingers playing with his hair. Tingles raced through her body, radiating from her chest out. Caitlyn wouldn't have noticed a gun go off; she was so lost in Nate's kiss. And as soon as it started, he pulled away, leaving the minty, sweet taste of his lips on hers.

"Whoa."

She couldn't agree more. It was like two songs fell into perfect harmony with each other, each complementing the other, and adding something to the overall effect. It was like a cage full of butterflies, breaking free and fluttering around happily to their own beat, making the world that much prettier. You know how they say its like fireworks are going off when you kiss someone you love?

They lied.

It's so much better.

Nate took Caitlyn's hand in his own as they both caught their breath and stared up at the beautiful stars above them, taking in the moment.

"Nate?"

"Yeah, Caitlyn?"

"I…love you. A lot." She felt another flame of tingles race through her body, making her shiver. But oh, it felt so good.

Nate smiled, and blushed a little. "I love you too."

Right then, Caitlyn didn't care what Mitchie had. She didn't care what Mitchie and Shane were doing right now. She didn't care about Tess, or what anybody else would say. She had let him in. She didn't care about anything except the feeling of Nate's lips moving softly against hers, and relishing in that blissful feeling for as long as she could.