Aki (tomboy14): It's about time we posted another story.
Kiyo (sharingan999): And this one is dedicated to our wonderful reviewers of 10 Ways to Freak Out a Ninja: Shikamaru!
Aki: And seeing as I'm the only one that can post them, I get to do the disclaimer!
Kiyo: Hey! I wrote the story!
Aki: But I edited it. So here it is:
Disclaimer: The wonderful Goddess of Random, Pwnsome Sextologist of ShikaIno, and Crazy Author Aki; and Apprentice Kiyo, Student of Random and 1st of her Class, Writer-in-Training under Aki, the Pwnsome Kiyo, do not own Naruto.
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10 Ways to Piss Off/Freak Out a Ninja: Yamanaka Ino
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1. Have her # 1 fans bug the shitake mushrooms out of her with pretending to be preps.
E.G. :
Ino: (walking around town for no apparent reason)
Mysterious Voices: INOOOO-CHAN!
Ino: (thinking) I know those voices from somewhere… (realizing) Oh no!
Kiyo n' Aki: Oh yes!
Aki: Ino, Ino! Can we, like, have your autograph?
Kiyo: Preeeetty please?
Ino: Why are you guys acting so weird?
Aki: OMG! Ino just, like, spoke to us!
Kiyo: OMFG! That's, like, so cool!
Ino: (is freaked out) G-guys?
Kiyo: Hey, Aki-nee-chan! Let's, like, kidnap Ino and lock her in our basement so we can, like, talk to her all the time!
Aki: Totally!
Ino: AAAAHHHH! (runs off in a big gust of dust)
2. …hee hee hee..#
Kiyo: Ino-chan!
Ino: Thank Kami you dropped the prep thing.
Kiyo: Ino, I recently found out that you were selling black market bishie pictures of Shikamaru-kun.
Ino: (blush/gulps)
Aki: This is not what bothers us. What bothers us is that you did not give US any.
Ino: Eh heh heh…sorry?
Kiyo: (ignores) And for your punishment..(whispers)
Ino: NOOOOOO! (faints)
You: What is it?
Kiyo: No sex with Shikamaru for a week.
You: (faints)
Kiyo: Alright! Got another one!
Aki: And I totally came up with that idea ages ago in RCNC…its classic.
3. Have a bunch of Shika/Ino fans storm them while they're making out. (Ha ha!)
Kiyo, Aki, and every other Shika/Ino fan in the world: Alright guys, on your mark, wait for it…NOW! (burst through the front door right as they are about to kiss.)
Kiyo: Say cheese! (a thousand cameras go off.)
Ino: Kiyo, you and everyone else here are gonna die.
Kiyo and Aki: (gulps) Code Red! Abort Mission! Distract Ino Plan #42!
Everyone else: Got it! (stands behind Kiyo)
Kiyo: OMG! Look, a distraction!
Ino: Where?! (looks behind her)
Kiyo: Run! (room empties faster than Chouji's plate full of yummy barbeque when Shikamaru's paying)
4. Sing some completely retarded songs extremely loudly as she walks around. (Thanks cousin Akari!)
Ino: Oh. My. God. Shut the hell up!
Kiyo: Ino cracked corn, and I don't care! Shikamaru cracked corn, I still don't care! Kiyo cracked corn and she is great!! Take that you stupid corn!
Ino: What the HELL are you singing?
Kiyo: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes! (A/n Kiyo: This is the MOST annoying song on Earth. I know. My friend followed me around for TWO WHOLE HOURS singing it nonstop.)
Ino: Stop, please!!
Kiyo: Ino and Shika, sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
People around us: O-O
Ino: O-
Kiyo: 0-0 (gulps) (thinking) Went just a liiittle bit too far on that one.
Ino: …you're gonna die….
Kiyo: Uuuum, look a distraction?
Ino: No.
Kiyo: Damn.
Ino: (cracks knuckles) Heh heh heh. (beats Kiyo up)
Narrator (who sounds suspiciously like Aki): We're sorry, this seen has been blocked for scenes of gore and filthy language. Please enjoy this video of a koala.
Koala: (sleeps)
You: DAMN!
5. Dye her hair pink.
Ino: Anyway Chouji, that's it. Me and Shikamaru really are dating.
Chouji: No way! That's great!
Kiyo: (invisible behind Ino) (thinking) This is for beating me up! (pours instant pink hair dye on her head)
Chouji: O-O (starts to laugh)
Aki (sitting next to Chouji): -is currently roflmao-
Ino: What?! What's so funny?!
Chouji: (laughing so hard he can't talk) You-you're- Hahahahahah! (points to her hair)
Ino: (pulls out mirror) M-my hair! It's pink! AHHHHH!
Kiyo: (not invisible anymore) That's what you get!
Ino: Didn't I kill you already?
Kiyo: (gulps)
Aki: (pulls out popcorn out of nowhere)
Chouji: (runs away in fear)
Kiyo: Why didn't I do that LAST time? (runs away)
Ino: Oh NO YOU DON'T!
6. Two words: Guilt trip.
Ino: (catches Kiyo and is about to beat Kiyo up…again.)
Kiyo: (when her fist is an inch from my nose) No! Stop!
Ino: (still has me by the scruff of the neck but has dropped her fist) What?
Kiyo: (insert big, chibi eyes and shiny chibi tears) Y-you were really gonna hit me? (sobs) B-but I though we were friends! (cries)
Ino: But you were being mean to me!
Kiyo: I d-didn't have a choice! (wails) The f-fans asked m-me to do it! And I can't disappoint the fans!
Shikamaru: (mutters) what fans?
Kiyo: Get out of here, you're not in this one.
Aki: Come on Shika, we can go have random fun in my RCNC stories. I think I'll let you beat up Sasuke! (grabs Shika's arm as they walk away)
Ino: (didn't notice any of the last few lines) Oh! I'm so sorry Kiyo-chan! I won't hit you any more, I promise!
Kiyo: (insert hopeful grin) Really?
Ino: Yes! (gives me hug)
Kiyo: (thinking) Mwahahahaha!
7. Remember when I bugged Shikamaru and gave him a kiss? Do it again.
Shikamaru: LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!
Kiyo: Aww, you're cute when you're angry! (kisses him)
Aki: (thinking) She shouldn't have done that…
Ino: WHY YOU LITTLE-CENSORED! I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR SORRY-CENSORED ALL THE WAY BACK TO -CENSORED- -CENSORED- UP YOUR -CENSORED- UNTIL -CENSORED- YOU -CENSORED-CENSORED-CENSORED-CENSORED-MY FOOT UP YOUR -CENSORED-CENSORED RED BEAN SOUP -CENSORED CENSORED- YOUR MOMMA!
Kiyo: Yikes!
8. Mistake her for Deidara.
Kiyo: Oh! Hi Deidara!
Deidara: What? I'm Ino!
Kiyo: Oh really? Sorry, I thought you were Deidara!
Deidara-Ino: I'm going to k-
Kiyo: Uh-uh-uh! (wags finger) Need I remind you of #6?
Ino: (sighs) Hey, wait! (reads it) What the..YOU LITTLE FAKER!
Kiyo: Uh-oh…YOU STILL PROMISED!
Ino: I did promise, didn't I. Not to HIT you, that is.
Kiyo: (gulp)
9. ………………………………...
Narrator (who again sounds suspiciously like Aki): We're sorry, the Author you have tried to contact is currently unable to write. Please try again after her ribs/legs/arms/eyes/hair/sanity have healed.
Kiyo: (crawls through door) HELP. ME. FOR GOD'S SAKE, HELP ME! SHE'S REALLY GONNA KILL ME! AKIIIII!!
Ino: (kicks through door) GET BACK IN HERE, I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU!
Kiyo: (is being drug back through the door) NO! HELP MEEEEE!
10. All of the above.
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Reaction:
Ino: That showed her.
Kiyo: (in a corner, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth.) N-no more! P-please, no more! I'll be good, I swear! I'll write so many ShikaIno lemons I could start a lemonade factory! I'll-
Ino: (slaps a hand over Kiyo's mouth) No more talking!