Disclaimer: I own nothing.

To Pick a Mushroom

Ch. 1 – Who Dun It?

Carter let out a bloodcurdling scream. Who had done it? What horrible citizen of this naughty town had dared? Who had the audacity and foolishness to commit such an act?

He looked around his secret mushroom picking place at the back of the church. He had taped a notice on the door that said 'WERNING! DO NOT ENTER. HOWRIBLE MONSTER INSYDE' in bright pink letters.

He had never locked the door for two reasons. One, he had lost the key. And two, he felt that the notice would scare intruders away, anyways. So who had dared to risk the 'horrible monster' and entered his garden?

He gazed dejectedly at the empty garden. There were supposed to be thousands of mushrooms for his own pleasure here. And some punk had stolen them all. The thief had not even left one mushroom for Carter to sniff.

Carter started to fantasize about his mushrooms. He grew three kinds of mushrooms in his secret garden, which he tended to every time he was not corrupting the children.

The first kind was a regular mushroom. These were the most plentiful and for this reason, he brought two with him to every meal. He sniffed one before the meal and one after.

The second was the poisonous mushroom. Carter used these as medicine and for recreational activities. Although they were poisonous, after the first few trips to the Doctor, Carter had grown immune to the poisonous effects of the mushrooms after sniffing them for so long. He remembered all the crazy things he had done after he had sniffed a poisonous mushroom. He smiled while reminiscing the various illicit acts committed under the influence of poisonous mushroom.

His smile quickly disappeared, however as he remembered that among all the mushrooms, the third kind was his favorite. Truffles took a whole year to grow, and were considered rare by even the most experienced botanists. They could not be grown except in the deepest part of the forests…or so people thought.

Carter was proud of growing truffles in his secret garden. He had discovered that by watering parts of the truffle with his urine, he could in fact grow them in his backyard. It was a painstaking process that took Carter years to figure out.

As he remembered all his mushrooms, he grew angry.

"I can't believe somebody took away all my beloved mushrooms," he huffed. He knew he couldn't just grow them back that simply because the thief would probably back. He had to end this now. He would have the hooligan locked up behind bars.

Carter walked out of his garden and glanced at his warning sign.

"Hmm, maybe I should change the color. Pink's not that threatening," he mused. He took down his old notice and began to write up a new one.

Carter worked for two hours on his new sign. When he finished, he proudly taped the crudely written note on the door with duct tape he had found in his pocket.

The sign now read in purple: "Plese keep out. Evil piranhas swim in the grass. You haf been wurned."

He proudly admired his handiwork and walked to his closet to look for a few items. After five minutes of searching, Carter had found what he was looking for.

"I haven't looked at this since a couple of days ago. Never thought I would have to bring this out again," Carter said.

He was looking at his Detective Set that he had purchased from Won for 10,000. Carter was ecstatic at finding such a good deal. Under the logo, there was print that read: 'Suitable for children seven years and younger'.

He donned his brown hat that was about ten sizes too small, and filled his pipe with water. He blew some bubbles and sighed. The kit was now empty, so he put it back in the closet.

"Now, where do I start?" Carter said to himself. "I can't trust anybody in this town, so I guess I'll start by investigating all of them."

He pulled out his list of townspeople and stared. He had everybody's name written down with details of all their sins next to their names which they had confessed to him.

He quickly glanced at the name with the most sins written next to them.

"Lillia, huh? I guess I'll start with her." He rolled up his list, put it in his pocket and headed out the door.

He took a deep breath, and shouted, "Look out, Mineral Town! Carter's coming to get you! I'll make whoever stole my mushrooms regret it for the rest of their lives."

He vowed not to return until he had captured the culprit and walked off towards the Poultry Farm.

A/N: I have no idea how long this will last.