A/N: Tortured fic from Edward's POV about being cursed by vampirism. Based off the song "Disease" by Matchbox Twenty. Thanks go out to EdwardCullenManiac for the beta job! Read and review? Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

Disease

I got a disease deep inside me

Makes me feel uneasy baby

I can't live with you

Tell me what am I supposed to do about it

Keep your distance from me

Don't pay no attention to me

I got a disease...

I am a selfish creature by nature. I get what I want and do whatever it takes to obtain it. That is why I currently have the head of an angel lying in my lap.

Her head was turned away, her deep brown eyes locked on something outside of my window, while mine were glued to her pale jaw-line. If I were so inclined, I would lean down and kiss all up and down it until she shivered with ecstasy; after all, she was giving me the perfect angle. But no matter how much I wanted to, I was still cautious.

It's an odd thing knowing that something as trite as one measly human girl could make me lose control so easily. Then again, Bella isn't just some girl. When I told her, subtly might I add, to keep her distance from me right after we first met, she had willed herself to ignore my warning and melt into me with an open heart. It has been a long time since that day, but I still can't help but think that she shouldn't pay me any attention at all, that she should have gone to Prom with Tyler Crowley, or Mike Newton instead. They would be so much better for her. They could keep her safe.

I know that if it came down to it, I wouldn't be able to live without her. I would be more than willing to follow as fast as I could to be reunited with her on the other side.

Although it might be harder on my part.

Vampirism, as Carlisle likes to call it, binds me to immortality and makes me nearly impossible to kill. He calls it a gift, I call it a disease. No matter how much I truly want to be with Bella, I know that can never happen. It sets off a pang of fiery rage in my very core. To be human with Bella would be a miracle.

Alas, life isn't fair. She is the beauty, while I am the beast. I'm tortured, deprived…

Diseased.