poem...ish
Loophole
He thought it would last forever. As long as Haurhi didn't know it-
Would
Should
Could
Stay the same forever
Eternity and a day
Infinity
She knew it-
Couldn't
Wouldn't
Shouldn't
Forever was impossible no equation could prove-
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System fix
Protocol 1x
So she ran away...
She locked her heart in the deepest darkest scrap of winter encased in the impenetrable snow that gave her, her name. She could not afford to be complacent emotions were a liability, with liability came decreased survival factors, with decreased survival factors came death and with death, failure.
And she could not fail them.
So she locked away her now beating emotions and made do watching the world through brilliantly bright eyes.
She was content with her small happiness
That she could watch him and the others try to avoid Haurhi's wrath and gain the upper hand made her feel something bubbly and beautiful.
Happiness
Was that her first real emotion?
After everything he had done, to get her to stand up to Haurhi she thought it must have been triumph when her first emotion had to have been the happiness she felt when he noticed her.
Him
He was the one with real power
He was the one who had everything
He had Haurhi
He had Mikuru
He had Itsuki
He had her
He had all there devotion and worship
He was Haurhi's conscience
He was Mikuru's knight in shining armour
He was Itsuki's confident
He was her love-
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Emotions are dangerous
Ryoko taught her that
'It was bubbling inside forcing-'
Happiness
'She could barely move it was just-'
Grief
'She felt it burning her and rising-'
Anger
With every new swirl of emotion that hit her another came to counter it, and each new wave brought a new experience.
She found herself wanting to love, hate, grieve, anger to be more than synergy.
More than the sum of her parts
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Emergency fix, access code 39q
access denied
So she sat
And watched
And waited
She drank her tea and read her novels
Watching
Watching
Waiting
Waiting
She gave up on her memories
She drank tea once outside and noticed that the cherry blossoms always fell in the same sort of algorithm. He came out soon after and sat next to her. She drank her tea and off-handedly remarked about her discovery. He sat up and absent mindedly asked her if it ever got lonely.
That was when it cracked
Her beautiful mirror that was carefully built of all her working and equation was shot down by one word
Lonely
Was she lonely?
Was her existence lonely?
Had The Entity-
System failure
Reboot
1
2
3
Then she failed them
She could barely breathe
Barely move
Barely think
Haurhi got her out of that
All of them
And she failed them
When she returned form empty space The Entity had sent her a warning
She lost her power
She was now more useless then ever and it scared her
She was afraid of losing their faith
Losing their affection
Losing his love
She treasured that
He loved her and she love-
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Breakdown
Enter name
She couldn't risk them anymore
Haurhi used her
The Entity used her
He used her
She owed Haurhi
She was bound to The Entity
She loved him
She wanted to be more than synergy
She wanted to be able to move without which ever infinite source controlled telling her where to go.
She wanted to be her
Yuki Nagato
Without anyone telling her what she wanted.
She would still watch
She would still wait
But never where you could see her
She was going to take the intelligence of The Entity
The emotions of her friends
The gift of her love
And she was going to run
And run
And run
Till she found the infinite source and the loophole that would let her be what she wanted
Yuki Nagato
AUTHOR RANT
The end
This one was really fun to write
I do so love Yuki
If you didn't get it yet its about what happens at the end of the series when Yuki finally fails Kyon and her emotions get the best of her.
REVIEW
pwease?