Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Took the idea from tfbunny farm over in lj. Ooc characters have no excuse to be like that except that I suck. Tell me of any mistakes you find and I'll fix them as soon as possible.

"talking"

:comm:

Doing Time

Jazz stared at Prowl, who was calmly reading a data pad. Nothing out of the ordinary since Jazz knew his friend loved to read human literature on his spare time. What was unusual was that Prowl was in the brig. Prowl, the Autobot's calm and logical second in command and tactician was reading a novel while staying in the brig.

"Jazz, stop staring," Prowl said calmly without even glancing at the saboteur.

"How can I not stare, Prowl?" Jazz replied while wondering how can the Datsun look so relaxed while in the brig. Because Prowl was in the brig and Jazz really had to get his processor to stop repeating that.

"It's not everyday that I get to see you in the brig?"

There was a sound akin to a snort coming from Prowl, "This is the first time I have been sent here, Jazz."

"I know!" cried the Porsche dramatically, "I mean, what did you do? Red's not panicking so I know ya didn't betray us."

"Ask Prime. He sent me here," Prowl answered trying to concentrate on his reading.

Jazz sat down and cycled air theatrically, "I would've done that, but Prime's not in the mood."

Prowl made the mistake to turn his optics away from the data pad to look at the other black and white mech. He found himself on the receiving end of one of the saboteur's infamous 'kicked puppy' look. In combination with a pout.

He filed the pout under his 'things to be avoided at all costs' list. A second later he made a note to ask Ratchet how was it even possible for a visored mech to have a 'kicked puppy' look. He set the data pad down and cycled air through his vents.

"It started right after you left to Europe for that concert with Blaster and Bumblebee."

(Three Days Ago)

Prowl was having a bad day. Well it was more like a bad couple of days. The Decepticons were keeping quiet and the troops were getting restless. The twins normal mischievousness was no more. Normal pranks, that were easily forgotten after proper punishment, he could deal with. An increasing out of control prank war he could not. Not with what looked like the entire Ark joining them in a free for all.

To make matters worse, the usual disciplinary methods only seemed to be fueling the participants. Prowl was frankly getting out of ideas. He had other duties to attend to and he was stuck as a babysitter to a bunch of sparklings.

He tried listening to Prime, who was briefing him on the latest intel gathered by Bumblebee before the VW left the Ark, but he couldn't concentrate. He was tired, courtesy of being unable to get some energon before meeting with Prime.

He had stopped to get a cube, but the rec room had been filled with rubber ducks and Hound was complaining that the energon dispenser was serving green cubes. After spending the last three days onlining in the medbay, he had decided to wait until after the meeting to get an explanation.

There was a loud explosion followed by stomping and running and ending in screams. Both Optimus and Prowl ran out ready to fight in case of a Decepticon attack. Red Alert and Ratchet joining them only to stop and stare at the sight that greeted them.

Someone had planted a paint bomb in the Dinobot's room. That was what they heard exploding. The walls, ceiling and floor were all covered in various pastel colors. Pink being the most prominent. The running and screaming came from the mechs trying to escape Wheeljack's creations.

By the time they had managed to stop the rampaging pastel-colored mechs Prowl was almost falling in auto-recharge. Red Alert left after reassuring him that he will have the name or names of the culprits by morning. Ratchet left to fix the mechs damaged by their own stupidity; and promised to have a list of the mechs' injuries also by morning. Prime had told him they would finish that meeting tomorrow.

That left Prowl with the joyful task of assuring Grimlock that the room will be fixed and the pranksters punished accordingly. To his dismay, Grimlock was still mad.

"Them Autobots think painting us Dinobots funny. Me Grimlock show them Autobots what is funny."

Prowl decided right there and then that since the stupidity had just gotten out of control, he was going to intervene and put a stop to it.

(Two Days Ago)

He onlined earlier than usual. Now that he wasn't low on energy he could concentrate on the task at hand. He put his battle computer to good use, coming with different strategies that could help him in his mission to stop the prank war. After discarding the ones that had small percentages of success, he found himself with a handful left. There was one that had above ninety percent of success but he would need to recruit some mechs to the cause.

Red Alert entered Prowl's office looking weary.

"Take a seat Red."

The Lamborghini shook his head, "I'm here to tell you who was the genius who pranked the Dinobots. Nothing more. I can't leave the monitors or who knows what will happen."

Prowl took on the appearance of the security director. His paintjob was dull, his movements were slower than usual and he didn't say anything about a conspiracy to destroy the Ark, "Did you recharge at all?"

Red Alert snorted, "Can't. I left the monitors for one breem to look for energon and look at what happened."

"Dispensers are still serving green energon," Prowl commented idly. Wheeljack had said he was going to look at them later.

"Except in the medbay. Ratchet's personal dispenser wasn't touched. I'm guessing Prime's still function properly too," answered the red mech, glancing at the door and fidgeting, "I really need to go now. It was the Aerialbots sans Silverbolt."

"Thanks. I'll see that they get what they deserve," Prowl replied only to blink as Red Alert scoffed.

"This is the third time this week that we've caught the Aerialbots doing pranks; and it's Thursday by human standards. You keep sending them to the brig or to help the maintenance crew and they haven't stopped. And they are the least enthusiastic about this new hobby," Red Alert said. The exhaustion in his voice made Prowl wince as the Lamborghini continued, "And the slaggers keep breaking the cameras so they can plan. They think I don't know, but I do."

"What if I had a way to put an end to this madness?" Prowl's soft voice interrupted the tirade. The red mech blinked and stared for an astrominute before a smirk slowly formed on his face.

Red Alert fidgeted again and glanced at the door, "Need to go to the monitors," he mumbled and Prowl frowned. He needed to convince Red Alert.

"Come," the red mech said as he made his way out of the office, "we'll have more privacy in the security room."

…Or maybe he didn't… Prowl stood and joined the Lamborghini, "I have to stop by the medbay and get Ratchet's report."

"Alright. But afterwards, we go straight to the security room."

Convincing Ratchet was even easier. And surprisingly, it was Red Alert who made the suggestion this time. The medic was sick and tired of having to fix mechs. Sometimes more than once a day. Prowl knew that spare parts were hard to find, making the medic even more frustrated.

(Present Day)

"Wait a minute, if Red Alert and Ratchet helped ya, why aren't they down here facing time with ya."

Prowl threw an annoyed look at the saboteur at his interruption, and was rewarded with one of Jazz's trademark grins, "Simple. I omitted their willingness to participate. Ratchet and Red Alert's tasks are more valuable than mine at the moment. As long as there is no new information about Decepticon activity the majority of my tasks revolve around data pads. I can do the paperwork here, but Ratchet cannot perform surgery and Red Alert cannot monitor the cameras while on the brig."

Jazz chuckled, "You're an idiot, you know."

Prowl shrugged and made to grab the data pad he'd been reading.

"Hey! You gonna stop there? I thought you were gonna tell me how ya ended up in there," Jazz cried out and Prowl hid a victory smirk. For someone who prided himself in being unpredictable, Jazz was sometimes too predictable for the Datsun.

"I was. You interrupted me."

"Look, buddy, I won't interrupt again. Promise!"

Prowl put the data pad down again, "Where was I? Ah, yes… Red Alert and Ratchet agreeing to help me."

(Two Days Ago)

Prowl and his two partners in crime spent the rest of the day planning. Ratchet made a point to say that there were some parts he didn't like. Mostly, because someone could get slightly hurt and he'd be the one stuck doing what he was tired of doing. Fixing the stupid after doing something stupid. He was still willing to go along with the plan after Prowl assured him that, if the plan was successful, he wouldn't be bothered for quite a while.

In between planning, they were forced to live another day in the prank war zone. True to Grimlock's word, the Dinobots had joined the fray and had strung the minibots on the ceiling like piñatas. Ratchet had been very lucky that they had held that meeting in the security room and were able to stop the Dinobots from actually trying to use the hanging bots as real piñatas.

Then, there was the lime green Ironhide with squeaky toys stuck in his joints. Mirage's quarters were flooded. Hound showed an amazing talent in superimposing a hologram over the television while Tracks was watching his soap opera. The hologram used the human voices coming from the television and was amazingly more interesting than the real thing. Even the three officers had to admit that seeing Cliffjumper declaring his love to Sunstreaker, where the golden twin was in place of the leading female, was somewhat amusing. Sunstreaker and Cliffjumper had both vowed their eternal hate for the Jeep.

Mirage was using his invisibility to write on other mechs backs. By the end of the day most of the Ark residents had something written. Grimlock's 'I'm a pink fairy princess' and Prime's 'Aft belongs to Megatron, please return if found.' where among the most memorable ones.

The three officers trudged through the day. Avoiding Prime who was looking quite murderous after learning what someone had dared to write on his back. The three of them only looking forward to tomorrow. If this didn't stop them nothing would.

(One Day Ago)

6:00 AM

It was time for shift change. Red Alert, as always, had been twenty minutes early for his shift. And as soon as the human clock they had installed in the base struck the hour, Red Alert pressed the button that locked all the doors on the base. He'd changed the override password and only he, Ratchet and Prowl were authorized to stop the lockdown.

He glanced at the monitors, making a headcount to see if everyone was accounted for. The two mechs that arrived from patrol were trapped in the wash racks and the two that were supposed to leave for patrol were stuck…

Red Alert searched for them on the monitors until he found them in the rec room. They had stopped for a cube . Good.

Satisfied and at the same time fighting his glitch, that was screaming at him that this was compromising the security of the base and the Decepticons will surely use this to their advantage, he used a private line to comm the other two officers.

:Phase one completed:

8:00 AM

They've been trapped in their rooms for two hours. Red Alert had been updating him on the crew's antics. After two hours, the crew had finally found out that the vents were very secure and had motion detector sensors that triggered plasma guns and that the hull of the Ark was very strong and not easy to break.

:Ready?:

:Yes.:

The medic made a sound similar to a human clearing his throat and used the Ark's speakers.

"This is Chief Medical Officer Ratchet. I hereby declare this base under quarantine. I repeat. The Ark is now under quarantine."

:Ratchet, what is the meaning of this?" Prime's surprised voice came over a private line.

:What does it look like? I'm issuing a quarantine.:

:Why?:

:You'd have to talk to Prowl, Prime,: Ratchet answered with a frown and terminated the connection. He understood why Prowl asked to be the only one to get the blame, but he didn't have to like it. Instead, he went back to the task at hand.

"Usually, I'd head down and check on each and every one of you before doing this, but since all of you slaggers have been using the few spare parts available, you'll be stuck there until the next supplies arrive."

:Phase two completed:

10:00

Prowl had joined Red Alert after Ratchet's public announcement. He had to admit that the crew was resourceful, but so far there had been no incidents and none of them had been able to escape.

"Will this really work?" Red Alert asked, uncertainty in his voice.

"Any other form of revenge would have given the impression that we sank down to their level," Prowl replied as he watched Sideswipe looking at his pile drivers and at the door.

"And Prime?"

"He would have tried to put a stop to this."

Red Alert looked uncertain and Prowl wondered how hard it was for the red mech to continue doing this. The Datsun checked his chronometer and sent a public message through the comm lines.

:This is Prowl speaking. At exactly 1800 hours I will conduct a thorough inspection of the Ark. By that time, each and every room must be clean and clear of any pranking material. Since the previous disciplinary methods have proven ineffective, drastic measures have been taken. Any material found during inspection will be destroyed along with the mech that did not follow my orders. You want to behave like uncivilized Decepticons, you get to be punished like Decepticons."

Prowl watched in fascination as the mechs looked incredulously at each other, and in some cases at the camera. Red Alert held his head in his hands.

"Go to Racthet."

"What? No! I'm fine," the security mech replied, "I'm just wondering if they'd believe you."

A quick glance at the monitor showed that they were giving him the benefit of the doubt. All of them were doing as ordered, albeit much to slower than desired. Prowl looked up as Ratchet entered the security room.

"Nice words," the sarcastic comment was completely ignored by the Datsun. Ratchet grinned amused as he watched the others work through the monitors, "I'll show ya how it's done."

:Mechs, this is Ratchet. Since all of you've been acting like Slaargs and nano-gnats lately, let it be known that Prowl will start his inspection on time. Anyone that doesn't pass will be used for parts. He gave me his word on it. I swear on Primus himself.:

Prowl watched as bots on the screens started working faster. Ratchet looked at him smugly, "That is how you do it."

(Present Day)

"So you basically got control of the base?"

Prowl nodded and Jazz looked puzzled.

"Did they do what you said?"

Prowl smirked, "It was the cleanest the Ark's ever been since it was built. And there has been no other incidents since then."

Jazz snickered, "Man, Prime needs better humor."

"He has it. He just does not want to admit it," Prowl replied, grabbing his data pad one more time.

"More like he was reminded how much power you three have over the Ark," The saboteur commented.

Prowl contented himself with staring at Jazz. Really, couldn't the other see how stupid that comment was?

The bunny was: "What did Prowl do to get thrown in the brig?"

So, tell me what you think.

Edited 2/15/09 - fix spelling mistakes and grammar.

From Teletraan I:

nano-gnat: a very small cybertronian lifeform. Though nano-gnats appear to be considered a nuisance, they are easily destroyed.

Slaargs: are known to fight (or "scrap") amongst themselves. Being compared to them is insulting and might cause you to stop beating your comrades' heads and to contemplate your self-destructive behavior. It is unclear if Slaargs are native to Cybertron or not. They may be one of the life forms native to Chaar, which shares their whimsical-sci-fi double-a spelling.