Author's Notes: The most awesome people review this story!!! I haven't been able to do individual responses, so I'm going to do a major shout-out to all who reviewed since the last chapter was posted: Thank you to Vivienne Grainger, XiaBubbleQueen, ThierryMyst, Saritenite, darkangel1910, SendMoreParamedics, Anynymys1, and Noey. A huge God bless you and thank you to the many who have favorited this story and my other stories: Regression, Regression Blues, Sarah Tay at the Seireitei. I have been shocked and delighted by the response.

My original vision for the story's ending has changed as I've gotten some clarity on it, so I'm in the process of weaving pieces together now to make a satisfying conclusion. But don't worry. We've got quite a few chapters of craziness to go. There's some good stuff coming up. I just want to be certain that all of the pieces fit. Some chapters help to advance the story and set the scene and maybe aren't as funny as you'd expect from me, but go with it. I think you'll like the way it all ends up. Thank you all for your loyalty. Keep those reviews coming. I appreciate every one, even if I don't respond. (I'll try to do better.) And I still don't own or profit from Bleach. I'll be posting another one soon.

For the sake of appearances, the whereabouts of the Hisagi Five were kept secret. If the general populace (mainly the Oomaeda family) knew that the captain general had gone easy on them, there would have been more hell to pay and Yama-Jii needed a hemorrhoid more than he needed more trouble. For all the general public knew, they were still in jail.

It was a good deal for the convicted Shinigami. By special arrangement, the captain general had allowed Renji, Kira and Yumichika to stay within the confines of the exclusive Kuchiki Resort to the delight of Kira and Yumichika, but to the utter dismay of Renji who was expecting revenge from Byakuya around every bend. Ikkaku and Hisagi had been assigned to a work crew to help clean up the fight arena, but in the evenings, it was gourmet food, hot springs and back rubs for sore muscles.

Although not technically on trial, Shunsui Kyouraku was having to pay for his sins as well. He couldn't dispute the fact that, originally, it had been his hare-brained scheme for finding a man for Nanao that had led the others to act the way they did. As the captain general had chided, "Tsk tsk tsk on the tasks, tasks, tasks!" The captain general had also strongly 'suggested' that he should start to work on cleaning up Ukitake's koi ponds. It was a suggestion that Shunsui could not ignore. Any peace and quiet he had expected to have while Nanao was otherwise occupied with a man had gone the way of a cleansed hollow. He hadn't expected that man to be Jushiro.

Damn Jushiro anyway for taking his vice captain and for insisting that he rebuild the ponds alone. He had tried reasoning with his friend, pleading with him, bribing him, but Jushiro would not budge. Nor would he let Shunsui commandeer Hisagi or Ikkaku away from their fight arena detail.

His desk had been getting piled high with papers that Nanao would normally take care of. Finally, he could put it off no longer. His choices were do the paperwork or build koi ponds. Neither one was an appealing option. About mid-morning, he set out for Ukitake's house from the eighth. On the way he decided that out of kindness, he would give his friend one more chance to change his mind about this absurdity.

"I'm here, Jushiro, ready to rebuild your koi ponds, just as I promised, my friend. But, really," he stood on a cement stepping stone in the middle of what used to be one of the prized koi ponds, "can't you just hire someone? My money's paying for this anyway. I say hire some poor sot to do the work and save my aching back. Besides, I'm sure Nanao is driving you crazy by now." He yawned, stretching his arms above his head, and scanned the mud-caked grounds, hoping for a reprieve. It was going to be a lot of ball-breaking work, and his balls had done nothing more than hang between his legs for a very long time.

"On the contrary, Shunsui. She's a highly effective worker. I can only hope that some of her work ethic has rubbed off on you." Ukitake stood next to him on the stones, his arms folded over his chest. "Besides, hiring someone else to do your work just wouldn't be right, now would it? You know I'm a kind person, but sometimes people tend to take advantage of my kindness and it TICKS ME OFF!" He wagged a finger in Shunsui's face. "Now start digging! You've got a lot of work to do, my old friend." He pointed to a wheelbarrow full of shovels and picks along the side of the pond and said, "You remember my fortune cookie, don't you, Shunsui? 'The wise man asks for bigger and better things.' I'm not asking; I'm expecting, and if it isn't done to my satisfaction, you'll do it over. Is that understood?"

As Ukitake strode off towards the house, Shunsui Kyouraku watched the white haired figure retreat. "Slave driver. Has everyone gone mad?" He rolled his eyes and headed towards the wheelbarrow. His foot slipped on the slick path, plunging ankle deep into the mud. After a few more missteps and two muddy sandals later, he reached the three-wheeled contraption, grabbed the handles, and lifted. Pushing it ahead of him, he carefully picked his way back across the pond, slipping and sliding and cursing in the slick of the mud as he went. Ruefully, he thought, at least it's better than paperwork.

The captain of the thirteenth entered his residence with only a quick glance over his shoulder towards his friend of many years.

"Well?" came a gruff voice.

"It went as planned, Captain General."

"Good! Perhaps he will finally learn his lesson, eh, Nanao Ise?"

"Perhaps, sir," came the reply. The vice captain stood away from the men, wrapping herself in a hug. "I suppose he deserves it."

"Second thoughts, Nanao?" asked Ukitake, closing the distance between them.

"Maybe a few, sir," she mumbled into his haori as he pulled her into a fatherly embrace.

"Don't you worry, my dear. I didn't like raising my voice to him either, but Shunsui has had this coming. He won't take you for granted any more and he'll treat us both with the respect we deserve. On the plus side," he said gently, "I'll get better trained officers because of you and brand new koi ponds because of Shunsui and you get a nice little romance because of Hisagi."

Yama-Jii's mustache waggled as he chuckled, "And the Captain General gets to contemplate babies, eh, Nanao?"

Ukitake smiled at the old man. "It works out for everyone concerned, don't you think?"

Nanao rolled her eyes and gave a short smile. "I suppose, Captain Ukitake."

The captain released her, only to grab her shoulders again in order to look into her eyes. "No more second thoughts then. Full steam ahead."

"Yes, sir!" She nodded her head, her resolve reinforced. As much as she still loved and admired her captain, he had gone too far this time. Captain Ukitake was right. Shunsui Kyouraku needed to learn a lesson, a lesson of respect, and if he didn't learn it now, Nanao knew she would face another twenty years of "Nanao, do this; Nanao, do that" and she was damned sick and tired of it. Besides, where was the harm in a little smoochy-face with a good kisser like Shuuhei? It's not like they were serious about each other.

From the doorway where they were hidden from view, Sentarou mimicked, "'Full steam ahead.' 'Yes, sir, sir!'" He saluted Kiyone in a mock show of respect. "I can't believe he still doesn't think we're good enough to be his vice captains. He just had to bring her in, didn't he?"

Kiyone elbowed him in the side. "Whatsamatter, Sentarou, are you jealous because she's better than you?"

"That's just stupid, Kiyone."

"Could you beat her in battle?" she asked.

"That pencil pushing, book reading, glasses wearing little wimp? Hell, no. She scares me."

She poked him in the ribs again. "Then shut up and learn, you moron."

He pushed her away aggressively, harder than he had intended. "I'm not a moron."

Angered, she pushed back harder. "Are too!" His head slammed against the far wall. Not even his hair nor his headband could save his head from the hard whack it took.

Dazed, he grabbed her collar, pulling her close enough to see the gray specks in her sexy blue eyes as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. "Am not."

Her warm breath caressed his cheek as she leaned seductively into him, her breasts crushing heavily against his chest. "Are too," she cooed.

"Am not." With his powerful muscles, he lifted her towards him until only her toes remained on the floor. Their scents intermingled. His freshly-washed headband and the syrup from his breakfast waffles on his breath combined with her rose-scented perfume and powdery deodorant, sending his senses into overdrive. So sweet. So sexy. So Kiyone.

"Ah, Kiyone. How long are we going to deny our feelings for each other?"

"Oh, Sentarou," she sighed breathlessly, wrapping her arms around his neck. Their eyes locked as he embraced her tightly. She quivered with excitement as his lips drew near. "Kiyone!" The two came together for a passionate kiss. She had been waiting for this moment all her life. Right as her lips were about to taste the heavenly hunk, he sighed into her open mouth, proclaiming, "I am NOT climbing those stairs again!" 1

"Sentarou!" A hard whack to his arm brought him out of his trauma-induced daydream. An angry Kiyone was winding up to take another slug at him. "Sentarou, get off me! What the heck are you mumbling about? And put your lips back in your face. You look like one of Captain Ukitake's koi, one of the ugly ones."

A bit confused, he let go of the peeved girl and felt the lump forming on the back of his head from where it had hit the wall. He scrubbed at the lump. "You gave me a concussion."

"I did not, you dolt. Let me see." Kiyone went up on her tiptoes in front of him to inspect his bruised head. "You're fine, Stupid Head."

"Stupid Head? See if I kiss you again any time soon." Pouting, he crossed his arms. "And don't bother asking me to climb the stairs with you either!"

She hit him on the shoulder. "Stairs? What are you…? You haven't even kissed me the first time." Picking up her foot, she slammed it down hard towards the top of his foot, bringing her head down at the same time. He jumped out of the way just in time, all the while watching her feet in case she tried it again.

BANG! A loud noise exploded right next to them on the other side of the wall. Kiyone's head whipped up and smacked into the bridge of Sentarou's nose.

He grabbed his nose, pinching the nostrils shut. "Ow, ow, ow! You brokt my dnose!"

"You broke my head!"

"I din nah!"

"Yes, you did!"

"Din nah!"

Nanao poked her head around the corner and asked sweetly, "Are you two ready for training or do you need more kissy time?"

Rubbing the top of her head, Kiyone glared at Nanao. "We weren't having kissy time."

"We would have if she hadn't come around the corner so fast." he said, wiggling his nose and testing it with a deep inhale.

"In your dreams!" Exasperated, Kiyone searched Nanao's face for understanding. "See why I can't work with him, Nanao?" She pointed at him. "Sentarou's an idiot. All men are idiots! Tell me it wasn't like this with you and Hisagi. He's not an idiot too, is he?"

Nanao raised an eyebrow, her sweet demeanor gone. "Kindly leave my relationship with Vice Captain Hisagi out of this. If the two of you aren't in the practice field in two minutes, you're going to be kissing your backsides good-bye. Now move it!"

"That's harsh," Kiyone simpered. "I thought we were friends."

"We are, after office hours. Meet me out back. Bring your swords. Pronto!" Nanao strode off down the hall towards the back of the house. Before going out the door, she looked back over her shoulder. "And Kiyone, to answer your question, he's a man too, isn't he?"

After watching her leave, Kiyone turned to Sentarou. "I knew men were idiots, but that just confirms it. Come on, idiot. We'd better get out there before she kicks our butts."

Sentarou sneered at his companion. "I told you she was scary."

She gave him a funny look. "She doesn't have the market on scary, Mr. Fish Lips."

"But the captain general does!" Yama-Jii appeared from around the corner, his whiskers and eyebrows flaring around him. "Now get moving!"

"Yes, sir! Captain General, sir." They took off running after Nanao, arguing all the way.

"I was going to say that."

"Beat you to it, Nyah-nyah."

"I'll beat your head against the wall."

"You already did." They and their noise vanished out the back door.

The captain general moved back into the room and looked at Jushiro. "Underlings are so fun to mess with, don't you agree, Jushiro?"

"Those two can be quite amusing, Yama," laughed Ukitake.

"Who said I was talking about them?" replied the old man as he peered out the window towards the dark-haired man with the shovel as he stood alone in the mud.

A/N: 1) DolphinWhisperer was at it again! She provided a challenge when I wasn't looking (The two came together for a passionate kiss. She had been waiting for this moment all her life. Right as her lips were about to taste the heavenly hunk, he sighed into her open mouth, proclaiming, "I am NOT climbing those stairs again!") and this is what I did with it. Hope you enjoyed Sentarou's little trip into FantasyLand.