It was early morning when I woke before school, I sighed and got out of bed as usual with the slight twinge of hope I always had that I might possibly see Edward at school that day. I knew that he wouldn't be there, and I knew also that even if he was there he didn't want me anymore. But I still wanted to see his beautiful pale face somewhere besides behind my eye lids every time I closed them. If I saw any of the Cullen's, even Rosalie who or some reason loathed me, it would still make my pathetic day. I knew I was pathetic and after almost a month I wasn't afraid to admit it.

As I was walking down the stairs I felt a sudden nausea. I ran back up the stairs and to the bathroom where I lost last night's dinner, lunch and possibly even breakfast. "Bella?" Charlie yelled from behind the door. "Are you alright?"

I tried to say "Yeah dad." But the words came out as more of a groan of pain. I washed my face and walked out.

"Bells you looking pale, I am not sure if school is such a great idea today." Charlie said.

I was feeling better after a few minutes and I knew my spell of sickness was over. "I'm fine dad." I said as I went outside to get in my truck.

"Ok if you're sure." He said skeptically. "Have a good day at school, I love you." He yelled.

"Love you too dad." I yelled back over the roar of my extremely loud engine. I wasn't feeling sick anymore but I was feeling weak. I knew I was ok to drive but I still wished I had Edward here to drive for me. However, if Edward saw me looking as pale as I look now he would make sure I wasn't in school and that I stayed in bed.

School that day went by fast, I didn't talk to anyone and all I did was do my work. My friends, it seemed, had given up on me. At lunch, I sat at the Cullen table alone. After the first 3 weeks, no one even tried sitting with me and talking. I was a total wreck and I didn't want social interaction.

Finally, the last bell rang and it was time to go home. When I got there I did my homework, cooked dinner for Charlie, and went upstairs to bed. I lay down restlessly in my bed. It was still light out and I knew that sleep wasn't coming anytime soon. I buried my hands in my face and cried longingly wishing 

that Edward were here to hum my lullaby and get me to sleep. His last words to me echoed hauntingly in my mind making my tears worse. "It will be as if I never existed." He had said to me in the woods that day. I couldn't bear the last part, so I shut down that memory right there.

"Yeah right Edward, for me it will never be as if you never existed, I can never forget you!" I found myself yelling in my room alone. "Stupid vampires." I sighed. Yelling at him actually gave me relief for a few minutes, but just for that long, then the tears were there again. I was crying uncontrollably and there was no one there to comfort me or make it all better as Edward would.

Finally, I cried myself to sleep very early. For once I had a dreamless night. When I woke I was thankful for that at least. However, I felt the nausea again. Afterwards this time I knew something was wrong with me. This was two mornings in a row! Then the words came to me…Morning sickness!

The only words that came into my mind after that were "Oh my god, I am pregnant!" I didn't say them aloud for fear of Charlie's reaction, but deep down I knew that this was true. "Can't freak out yet Bella, get a hold of yourself, its only 2 days in a row, if you don't start your period in the next few days then freak out." I thought to myself.

That whole month passed and the morning sickness became a daily thing and there was no period. I didn't take the pregnancy test for fear that it would come out positive. I couldn't be pregnant at 18 I just couldn't! I was supposed to be better than this, more mature, but how was I supposed to know that it was possible for a vampire to get me pregnant, and it had to be his, I had never done that with anyone but him. This was…not good. I had never pictured myself to get pregnant as a teenager but now I was and there was nothing I could do about it, not to mention the father was off somewhere miles away from me!

I wanted to tell someone but I couldn't think of anyone whom I trusted enough for this, after a few seconds one thought came into my head, I knew then that I could trust only one person with my secret. That person was Jacob Black; he was my best friend and the only person who I felt alive around anymore. Finally, it was settled, tomorrow morning, Saturday, I would drive to La Push and tell him.