title: the thing that girls know best

summary: Glinda had imagined this moment thoroughly, and nowhere did it ever involve Elphie simply dragging her out of a shop, frightening the hell out of her until her hood was lowered and a glaring, smirking, supremely familiar face was squinting at her in the sunlight.

pairing: Elphaba/Glinda, bookverse

rating: PG-13ish, R maybe?

Song lyrics are from A Celebration Upon Completion, by Bright Eyes (I know, I know, shut up.).

-

but we cry and we dance

and we stumble into love

with awkward, perfect grace.

-

Glinda had imagined this moment differently.

Glinda had imagined this moment thoroughly (Elphie is waiting for her in her bedroom the night before she is to be married with flowers and endless declarations of love and apology; Elphie plain just never left in the first place; Glinda had been successful in seducing Fiyero last week (he always had harbored a bit of a crush, and so she intended to use it to her advantage, but something went wrong, something had always gone wrong, but nevermind, no more of that), and he would bring her to Elphie, who would stand there stupidly and then Glinda would slap her and kiss her, and however many more fantasies she'd gone through and tired of over the years), and nowhere did it ever involve Elphie simply dragging her out of a shop, frightening the hell out of her until her hood was lowered and a glaring, smirking, supremely familiar face was squinting at her in the sunlight.

"Well," Elphaba had begun, and then fell silent, struck dumb by the sheer strangeness of the moment, and just taking a moment to stare at Glinda, small and shivery in the hot sun, mouth gaping and eyes like blue saucers. "Well, Miss Glinda," she started again, but was unsure of how to finish that sentence, so she just let it hang in the air, mingling with whatever all else that had been left unsaid and undone between them. It was in good company, she reasoned. Hardly alone and wanting for a lover to join it.

Glinda only just managed to blink once more. And she thought it quite impressive, considering.

"I was beginning to think you'd never step foot outside alone," Elphaba murmured, so conversationally (well...for Elphie, that is) that Glinda wanted both to scream and to burst out into hysterical laughter.

However, she was not entirely sure that this was not a hallucination. Everything looks green here, so that is no firm proof. Perhaps she has simply lost her mind, that could be it. Much more easily explained, and so it's probably the correct assumption.

Obviously Glinda has gone mad, and Elphie has come to torment her through her days, unsatisfied with commandeering the nights.

"You and Crope, you and those girls, you and whomever else, and I waited for you while you were running off like a ninny with crowd after crowd, as if solitude was as foreign a concept as carrying a bag," Elphie continued, almost rueful now, practically turning up her long nose.

Well, that is all the proof she'll ever need.

And now that she's settled that this is indeed Elphaba, no matter if it is actually her or a delusion, she can make herself speak.

It takes the form of a severe scolding.

"Well, and how was I supposed to realize, Miss Elph-a-ba! And you flapping about after me like that, you idiot - simply hideous, Elphie - I could have just -" Glinda yelped, affronted and sputtering and practically squealing with indignation, she actually stamps her fashionable foot on the dusty ground, and now Elphie's lips are curling into a grin, now Glinda's cheeks are flushing bright pink, and two pairs of eyes are filling with tears, though only one set will ever be allowed to fall.

"Fiyero-" Elphaba started, and tilted her head, it was absolutely ridiculous to just be speaking to Glinda, just to stand here chatting, although she was not sure what else could even be done.

Glinda shook her head, softly and warningly, and explanations died on Elphaba's lips. "I have missed you, Glinda," she decided upon, instead. "I think about you."

And now they are here.

Now they are tangling, tangled, hair and legs and moans and souls (she insists, she insists, so she will be humored) and Glinda is so fierce that half the time she bites Elphaba on the lip instead of kissing her, so crazed in her need to make this be a reality and not just a vision, drawn out far too often, worn and frayed from overuse, and yet somehow never quite becoming tiresome. A favorite song. A worn book.

A fairytale come to life. Glinda and Elphaba, princesses, heroines, fair maidens, and now they have their ever after. She can pretend, she can mold it together so that she is sure that that is what this is, and although it will break her once more when it turns out to not be so, she will enjoy it more thoroughly than her partner.

Elphaba harbors no such dainty dreams, she has just missed and wondered and wanted, in her own clinical sort of way, weighing her options and denying herself.

"Open your eyes," said Glinda in a half-slur that can only be described as gutteral, "open them," and it's an order. Elphaba obeyed, and Glinda nodded in approval just once, "pretty eyes, pretty eyes," she mumbled to herself, before putting her mouth back against Elphie's collarbone.

"Pretty..." Elphaba mumbled back, trailing off, she had never been good at pillow talk, but she felt she owed Glinda something or other. However, it was rather distracting to try to think of something that Glinda would consider properly poetic at the moment.

Although words do not seem welcome, as Glinda shot her a glare and hissed, "Elphie, hush!" at her before resuming her task of firm memorization, everything, every bump and scar, and every single different shade of beautiful, glorious green!

Strangely, Elphaba feels almost ignored. Glinda is scouring every inch of her body with what is almost worship, but Elphaba herself does not have much to do. If she interrupts Glinda's work, she receives a sharp poke from wherever Glinda's abhorrently long fingernails are at the moment, so she just relaxes a bit. Stares at the outlandish sight before her, and waits for Glinda to join her in the world once again.

"I had...I had," comes a small whisper, startling Elphaba from her thoughts. Glinda is staring at her now, gazing in desperate adoration.

Glinda's voice was nearly at a whimper, a whine, too much of a tremor for her to be still, and her fingers had indeed began to shake. "I had wished - wanted -," she can never say all she felt, she does not have the more advanced vocabulary that she should, much less the capacity to sift through it for what she did mean at this precise moment. Wished, wanted, waited. Perhaps Elphie could understand her anyhow. "I had - oh!," a gasp, a pinch, a roll.

"Then you should not be surprised that you are getting it," replied Elphaba, almost curtly, a snip against Glinda for what she had received from life, what she had not had to wrestle it for.

But look how I had to tussle with you, Glinda wanted to howl. However, any further communication would have to be only in glares for the time-being.

Elphie's touch jumbles her thoughts, addles her brain.

And though her words were crisp, Elphie's lips were warm, and soon enough they had furiously reattached themselves to Glinda's, preventing any sharp remarks that either may have thought of.

After, after it had all happened, after but still before, before the end, the end that Elphaba knew was coming and that Glinda had refused to allow into her mind, after they had been, (before they were to be blank, while they were still bare), they lay curled, Glinda having wrapped Elphaba's arms around whatever skin was readily available, and some more that required a bit of contortion.

Elphaba was quite willing to watch the show.

"Beautiful Elphie," Glinda was bubbling, "oh, I have missed you so." She clutched Elphaba somehow even closer, as if she were a stuffed animal and Glinda was a small child, frightened of a storm raging outside.

"I had never imagined, Miss Glinda," Elphaba tried to say, she has to try, but it's coming out all wrong. Glinda huffed indignantly against her breast, and although she should not enjoy the sensation, for fear of angering Glinda once again, Elphaba relished the feel of it, longing to be the sort of person who could memorize the instant, to draw it out at will when she is alone and wanting, and not solely against said will, which is all that seems to happen for her.

She had not expected this, truthfully, she had only expected to say a final goodbye. When Fiyero had told her, "I saw Glinda two nights ago, dear Fae, it was curious. She asked after you several times," it was then that she knew.

It was also one of the very few times that Elphaba was grateful that she was already rather sickly-looking.

So Fiyero had had no idea, the tremor in her voice was easily explained away, the far away look in her eyes, the furious intensity in the way she kissed him as he left. Because it was the last time, and, as always, she was the only one to know it was coming.

Elphaba would be moved tomorrow. She would be invisible once more, not a single trace left of her. She will not put Glinda in danger.

And so, perhaps most importantly, there was now no reason not to say goodbye. Properly, this time.

She had not planned to kiss her. Elphie had harbored vague thoughts of apologizing, but it seemed quite unrefined to do it now. Too many days had passed for it to carry any weight, and Glinda had not seemed to care about any begging for absolution that she could manage to stammer out. Once Glinda had managed to compose herself, her fingers had unyieldingly laced themselves through Elphie's, and it had been a blur of rushed kisses and racing feet to get to the rooms Glinda was staying in, ducking out of sight when necessary and pushing each other against alley walls when it was very much needed.

Truth be told, she had no idea who had first pressed lips to the other, and it hardly seemed to matter now.

A whirl of falling clothes and groans, thrusting fingers and desperate whispers pressed directly against skin made shiny with sweat had brought them to this.

It all had the effect of making Elphaba feel woozy and slightly stupid, as if she'd gotten drunk once more in that old pub.

"Miss Elphie," Glinda said in what was mostly a grunt, her desire to nag only tempered by her desire to remain firmly where she was, nevermind if her admonishments were easily legible or not, "I shall be quite dissatisfied to know that I am the only one who has been indulging in visualizing this little dalliance. And to judge from your participation-"

"Oh, do come off it, Glinda, I didn't mean..." Elphie's voice was almost strangled, she was not in her element. She was not in control, she was not engaged in a lofty battle. Elphaba was just holding Glinda, expected only to be still and savor.

Most infuriating.

And yet once again, she was the only one to know that this was to be the end. It is just a bit dismal that that knowledge is what gives her the strength to wrap herself more tightly, rearrange her stiffly awkward arms more comfortably around rosy skin.

"Stop being so combative, Glinda, it's tiring," she finally decides, fuck all flirty affectations, she appears to have won Glinda's heart thoroughly enough without them, thus there is no need to bring them in now.

For her part, Glinda was inclined to aim a good kick at her.

Elphaba merely laughed, and dodged it, altogether looking very much the long, lithe garden snake that had scared Glinda half to death when they stumbled upon it years ago at Shiz.

Galinda (Galinda, then, still small in every sense of the word and the world) had yelped out loud, and clawed herself halfway up Elphaba in a manner that was in no way dignified. A few seconds of silence, which quickly became rather uncomfortable, and Elphaba had unconciously rubbed her fingers dangerously low, the tips digging against Galinda's skirt just the slightest bit.

"Shall we call in the army to save you then, Miss Galinda? Though, from the way you screamed, we may need a minister as well, for if there is indeed evil in Oz, you seem to have discovered it. Or is a tiny serpent reason enough for you to make me your own personal climbing tree?"

Galinda had snapped out of her daze almost instantly, shot her a glare mixed with a naughty grin, and they were fine again, dynamics shifted back the way they should be. Elphie had snickered at her back then, and she guffawed at her now, hearty and loud.

"I think I should like to kiss you now, my lovely pet," she snorted, looping her arms around Glinda's pretty neck, a baleful stare, theatrically pouting lips, a torrent of giggles from one or both.

And Glinda was inclined to let her.

-

and there was happiness in life beyond the sorrow

and the pain

but how they ever found it, I cannot explain

I guess time has a way of making everything all right

it's just, there is not enough of it.